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The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:47pm On Oct 12, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Marriage does not stop any lady from fulfilling their career dreams pls.
The society has nothing to do with one being melancholic over seeing their mate with their husbands and kids... I don't think that void is socially inspired.
baby ur lyrics dey gv me orgasm, move bk to lag na , mk we marry
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by JamesReacher(m): 12:48pm On Oct 12, 2017
YelloweWest:

Havi g a child is the greatest thing that can happen to many young women.
The only proper way to have a child is through marriage!
You can't justify proper way
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:48pm On Oct 12, 2017
Bidobado:
Everything you said made sense until you mentioned being a male feminist. That is the problem with society, social militants and effeminate simps like you. Infact feminism has ruined things for women in general, I advocate the fair and better treatment of women than the current standards, however, I do not support the notion of equality, it doesn't exist and will never happen, we just have to understand our differences and that should not be used as a tool of subjugation.


A healthy marriage where the female is not abused by any means possible is what we keep telling them, they don't listen.Just the " marriage "is adequate, feminism is crashing marriages and the effects would be long time and the pain it would bring. We keep telling them feminism is a confusion, an entity with no defined aspirations and objectives but they don't listen. There are millions of healthy marriages that doesn't mention the " F" word....I hope they have doctors to treat their depression when the wild goose chase of feminism hits turbulence in the future, in the end, the scripture confirms the arrangement, Men love your wives as Christ loved the church, women submit to your husbands. It is authority and submission. There can't be two captains on a ship, as one can not serve God and mammon, even the left eye sees things slightly different from the right eye...Check the image below to confirm...

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:50pm On Oct 12, 2017
Trottle:


Having a child(ren) out of wedlock signifies irresponsibility and a deadened moral consciousness.

No matter the name you choose to call it (Baby mamism o, friends with benefit o, live-in lovers o etc), a child out of wedlock is a BASTARD!!! And those involved committed fornication/adultery!! (Except it is a case of rape and related causes).

The West can choose to say otherwise, but that is what it is to a normal society.
exactly where I am going with the "normal society". Feminism doesn't exist in a normal society as inequality never existed in the first place.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 12:53pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
I have found that women that claim they are opressed are the lazy ones. They are the ones that condemn men and shout feminism on a faceless forum. They do not have a a voice anywhere. They are leeches living in delusion. They eat from a man and at the same time do not want to do his will totally. The female gender may be opressed in the North but not south. I am always thrilled at the successful women I see around, the ones that cocky men are afraid of. For the married ones, if you check well, they see their partners as complements. They had their goals and only saw marriage as complement to achieving their goals.
well said
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:55pm On Oct 12, 2017
supersystemsnig:



I disagree, rather it's men that see wrongly. You can't determine people's choices and desires. Everyone has a right to their beliefs and whatthey want for themselves. Have a perspective shift, if you want a thing, you want it, and not because someone else makes you want it. This is how it be brov?
Yes, we have a right to our choices but first thing to consider is how does our choice benefit the society at large. How does child bearing benefit a society, how does getting married benefit a society. If I get married, will I make enough impact. If I get married, how will it profit my partner? These are a few questions we should ask ourselves not just doing things because we have a right. We should strive to live a life of impact! This is where Africa is failing. We want to build house, buy car, marry...live and die. Another case for corruption. No tangible impact!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by victorioushands: 12:57pm On Oct 12, 2017
It's right in every way that both men and women of marriageable age should marry if they are up for it and for her to have a carrier as well. However, you should not sacrifice a woman's marrying on the altar of her 'carrier success' because the two should go together. It's wrong for women to depend on their husband or marriage for everything just as it's wrong for them to depend on their carrier to be fulfilled. A woman should marry, it's a priority for those who are of age if they can; and a woman should get a carrier and be financially free, it makes her highly 'sell-able' in the market of today's marriage. Some things with our culture are good for the preservation of natural laws and societal decorum. If you discard it just because the west are different, be ready to accommodate the influx of the demons of homosexuality and lesbianism. Do not ask me how they relate, you ought to have done enough research on your assertions before proffering them.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by YelloweWest: 12:57pm On Oct 12, 2017
JamesReacher:
You can't justify proper way

Pls which other way will a person have a child if not through marriage?

You guys should stop trying to turn nature on its head.
Being married is good.
It does not rob one of success.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:58pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
Yes, we have a right to our choices but first thing to consider is how does our choice benefit the society at large. How does child bearing benefit a society, how does getting married benefit a society. If I get married, will I make enough impact. If I get married, how will it profit my partner? These are a few questions we should ask ourselves not just doing things because we have a right. We should strive to live a life of impact! This is where Africa is failing. We want to build house, buy car, marry...live and die. Another case for corruption. No tangible impact!


My brother, leave woman matter alone, if you want to know what impacts the society, men should get jobs, open industries, cottage or small to provide employment, If me and you are really busy, we won't be having this chit-chat, the under-development of the society is not a woman' problem? Neither is it a marriage problem, Don't shoot yourself in the foot abeg.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by sinceraconcept(m): 12:58pm On Oct 12, 2017
Brugo:
Let us look at this from another viewpoint. Marriage is an achievement to those who view it as so. Don't condemn them.

A girl who grew up in a functional home where the father provides leadership and finance would see it as an achievement to marry someone like her dad.

Also, a poverty stricken but beautiful lady is often inclined to view marriage (to a rich guy) as an achievement even though her only asset is her good looks. Marriage is her one way ticket out of poverty.

It is also an achievement for an enterprising young man to marry a thoughtful, hardworking, high-flier woman.

If you marry a good spouse (someone who gives you peace of mind and support), you would know in your heart that it is a big achievement.
but beautiful women are everywhere now,either natural or artificial and a good number of beautiful women are married to very poor men cos they're left with no choice. beauty us not an asset to women,maybe it helps though
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 12:59pm On Oct 12, 2017
YelloweWest:

Most of us are either Christians Muslims or traditionalist.

In all 3 of the above it is frowned on to have a child out of wedlock.
Besides children do better in a stable balanced home. Having both a mother and father.

So in this regard and others, married is an achievement.
If you want to bring religion, there is nothin like feminism in religion. This is the point I am trying to make.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:03pm On Oct 12, 2017
Daeylar:


I'm talking about men abusing their wives or women, what are you talking about?
It doesn't seem like we are talking about the same thing
you are talking out of context of this thread. What you are talking is a discussion for another day. Some people have been shouting marriage has been a right and chice. If you perceive you are abused in your marriage, you have the choice to take a fast walk. Infact, run. So what are you talking. I am talking why the useless men abuse women that are not even their wives in Africa.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by lobiologs(m): 1:04pm On Oct 12, 2017
Actually its the whole country, we view marriage as the pinnacle of achievement and a good family means you are really successful in life.

that is bullcrap.

we all have diverse ways of viewing success and thats not what the nigerian system teaches, you have to make it and have a family so that people can accord you some level of respect oor you will be viewed as someone who is followed by some imaginary folks from back home.

this is a stage we have to outgrow as a country in general or else we wont grow past our other misconceptions about life and how it has to play out.

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Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:04pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
you are talking out of context of this thread. What you are talking is a discussion for another day. Some people have been shouting marriage has been a right and chice. If you perceive you are abused in your marriage, you have the choice to take a fast walk. Infact, run. So what are you talking. I am talking why the useless men abuse women that are not even their wives in Africa.


tongue
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by YelloweWest: 1:05pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
If you want to bring religion, there is nothin like feminism in religion. This is the point I am trying to make.
There is nothing like feminism is marriage too.

Don't get it twisted.

The feminist movement is equal right to all irrespective of gender. Equal opportunities, equal pay etc.

That's different from marriage where each party has a specific role to play. A man and a woman CANNOT be equal in marriage. They are both different and have their specific roles to play.

Where one party neglects their role for the other, thing get awkward.

1 Like

Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Daeylar(f): 1:06pm On Oct 12, 2017
I'm talking out of context?

Please don't quote me if you don't understand my post.

What do you see in the bolded?

Cc majekdom2

NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:07pm On Oct 12, 2017
supersystemsnig:



My brother, leave woman matter alone, if you want to know what impacts the society, men should get jobs, open industries, cottage or small to provide employment, If me and you are really busy, we won't be having this chit-chat, the under-development of the society is not a woman' problem? Neither is it a marriage problem, Don't shoot yourself in the foot abeg.
again, you have a wrong view on the matter. Impact is not in being employed. Understand the meaning of impact and quote me.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by JamesReacher(m): 1:08pm On Oct 12, 2017
YelloweWest:

Pls which other way will a person have a child if not through marriage?
You guys should stop trying to turn nature on its head. Being married is good. It does not rob one of success.
Marriage is a concept. Live and let live

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Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:09pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
again, you have a wrong view on the matter. Impact is not in being employed. Understand the meaning of impact and quote me.

You make me laugh, what is your fight about? You're so hooked on women and how they see marriage, why or how is it your problem?
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:10pm On Oct 12, 2017
YelloweWest:

There is nothing like feminism is marriage too.

Don't get it twisted.

The feminist movement is equal right to all irrespective of gender. Equal opportunities, equal pay etc.

That's different from marriage where each party has a specific role to play. A man and a woman CANNOT be equal in marriage. They are both different and have their specific roles to play.

Where one party neglects their role for the other, thing get awkward.
Ok, we are on the same page!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:13pm On Oct 12, 2017
Daeylar:
I'm talking out of context?

Please don't quote me if you don't understand my post.

What do you see in the bolded?

Cc majekdom2

you need to understand his point... Until recently, you barely see women in politics. If there are no women in politics, who will make laws to benefit women. We saw what played out when a woman was elected as the house speaker. His point is simply, women should consider making an impact before marriage. The more women impact, the more they can turn things to their advantage. The whole feminism movement in the west is because more women are making impact. That is the point and not about a man beating his wife!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:16pm On Oct 12, 2017
YelloweWest:

There is nothing like feminism is marriage too.

Don't get it twisted.

The feminist movement is equal right to all irrespective of gender. Equal opportunities, equal pay etc.

That's different from marriage where each party has a specific role to play. A man and a woman CANNOT be equal in marriage. They are both different and have their specific roles to play.

Where one party neglects their role for the other, thing get awkward.
Ok, we are on the same page!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:16pm On Oct 12, 2017
JamesReacher:
Marriage is a concept. Live and let live
Life itself is a concept!
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by wildrose21(m): 1:16pm On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism
Please expatiate...
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Daeylar(f): 1:16pm On Oct 12, 2017
majekdom2:
you need to understand his point... Until recently, you barely see women in politics. If there are no women in politics, who will make laws to benefit women. We saw what played out when a woman was elected as the house speaker. His point is simply, women should consider making an impact before marriage. The more women impact, the more they can turn things to their advantage. The whole feminism movement in the west is because more women are making impact. That is the point and not about a man beating his wife!

Please shift,
You said I was talking out of context, I showed you where he explicitly stated that women being dependent is a major cause of abuse,
Instead of you to accept your mistake, you now want misinterprete his point to fit whatever you are trying to talk about. Where did politics come into that statement I bolded now?

I've told you not to quote me if you don't understand my point and clearly you still don't.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by wildrose21(m): 1:18pm On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism
Please expatiate
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Apogee14: 1:18pm On Oct 12, 2017
wildrose21:

Please expatiate...
keep on reading. the expanded version is further down
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by muller101(m): 1:21pm On Oct 12, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Marriage does not stop any lady from fulfilling their career dreams pls.
The society has nothing to do with one being melancholic over seeing their mate with their husbands and kids... I don't think that void is socially inspired.
it does . Most of them ended up in the kitchen. grin
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Diamond23(f): 1:21pm On Oct 12, 2017
[color=#770077][/color]Not only female, even our male folks believe a successful woman without a man in her life z incomplete.If u show dem a successful woman who made it herself, by herself and in her self grin(forget my grammar ooo grin) u will hear stuffs like is she married? Who is her husband? How many children? And when u finally answer such questions with she is not married, the next tin u will hear is am nt impressed, at this age she is still in her parents house, she must have a bad character to still be in her parents house,or she must v chased away all her suitors.....o ga abuzi Nnagaalu....In African tradition it is regarded as an obligation which everyone#man or woman# must fulfill
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:21pm On Oct 12, 2017
Daeylar:


Please shift,
You said I was talking out of context, I showed you where he explicitly stated that women being dependent is a major cause of abuse,
Instead of you to accept your mistake, you now want misinterprete his point to fit whatever you are trying to talk about. Where did politics come into that statement I bolded now?

I've told you not to quote me if you don't understand my point and clearly you still don't.


I agree, making women solely dependent on men make them subtly manipulated in many marriages. It is good for women to be educated, have a degree or two, or have standing so if a relationship turns toxic, they won't be left without covering. The law should be adjusted so no man can abscond or divorce a woman without financial cover for up to three years minimum. If this is done, i think many women will be protected. It can start with you, and not just social media enlightenment, craft laws about what you feel should change in the current system and push it through humanitarian bodies. Many of us support healthy functional happy marriages that can be achieved through modifying laws to the betterment of the lives of women...Start today my lady...
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Nobody: 1:22pm On Oct 12, 2017
Daeylar:


Please shift,
You said I was talking out of context, I showed you where he explicitly stated that women being dependent is a major cause of abuse,
Instead of you to accept your mistake, you now want misinterprete his point to fit whatever you are trying to talk about. Where did politics come into that statement I bolded now?

I've told you not to quote me if you don't understand my point and clearly you still don't.
lols, I looked at it broadly. More ladies being independent means more voice for the women. When you depend on someone solely for all your needs, there is a possibility that individual will abuse you especially if the individual is very unintelligent.
Re: The Wrong Perception Of African Women About Marriage. by Humanistme: 1:22pm On Oct 12, 2017
Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism

stop spewing trash. what is the percentage of matriarchal societies compared to patriarchal ones.

Igboland and Yoruba land is European abi
?

Swaziland is also in America?

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