Dear Lively Stones,

Last year,my marriage of two years crashed because my wife, Lydia was not straight forward with me when it comes to money and financial matters in our marriage. When I met Lydia about four years ago,she was working with a manufacturing company while I worked with a one man business as a marketing officer. Lydia was earning more than me at the time and frankly speaking,I never saw that as a hindrance. We got married two years after dating. That was when I started noticing the change in Lydia’s character when it comes to money issues. Unfortunately,like a year and half after we got married,my company was not doing too well hence they were late in paying our salaries for several months. While I dated Lydia,I tried my best to provide all it took to woo her. In the first year of our marriage,I noticed that she would always ask me for money to buy everything she needs in the house even though she was earning higher than me. I used to ask her why she does not contribute to the welfare of the house and she would reply me that her money is her money and my money is ours. That she is training her younger ones and sending money to her parents every month. Well, I did not bother too much,I tried to do what I could. However,in the second year of our marriage,when I started having financial difficulties,I couldn’t meet up with most of the responsibilities. That was when Lydia became something else. She would complain and rain insults on me for not giving her money for cooking or other up keep reasons. I used to explain to her that I didn’t have enough as before. She refused to understand and instead complained more. One time,our house rent was due,I asked her to borrow me some money to make up for the house rent but she refused saying that she had borrowed money from her place of work to augment some of the house keeping expenses she made. Anyway,our landlord gave us quite notice and we had to move into a one bedroom apartment from our three bedroom apartment.

A few months later. I ran into a friend of my wife’s family who has been like a family friend too. We met actually in a bus and we got talking,catching up during the bus ride. As we spoke,we talked about family life and he congratulated me on our house that we were building that was almost near completion.

I was stunned!. I asked him: ”what do you mean by our house”?. He responded that he was happy for us that we were almost completing the building of our house in Omole phase 2. I told him,I didn’t know what he was talking about. He obviously realized that he had said something I didn’t know about,he then asked me to speak to my wife. I pressed him further but he said he may have said too much.

When I got home,I asked my wife what the family friend said by congratulating us on the building of our house. She looked shocked.....see more




Source: http://livelystones.com.ng/my-two-year-old-marriage-crashed-because-my-wife-of-this/

d wife is jst bin carried away by her money, it's so wrong 4 a woman 2 say Dat her money is hers alone, d financial responsibilities in a home cnt b carried by one person alone, both of dem ar dere 2 support each oda, marriage is nt jst meant 4 everybody ,one really needs 2 b very careful b4 saying "I do" wt anybody

U can fix it

Okay

Superstory

Pray, work harder and let's God crown ur effort. Then u will be able to speak boldly.

Don't beg her. NEVER.

Now face ur LIFE

I am a woman but seriously women can be so controlling especially when they earns more.
This is the high of disrespect. Imagine in your own house? My brother you should drop down on your knees immediately and thank God such a marriage didn't work.

Imagine living with such a woman in your old age.

You will die of high blood pressure.

how can you build a whole house under your husband's nose n he didnt knwwww? if she cn hide a whlle house she can definitely cheat on her hubby! i just tire

He should pick himself up and concentrate on himself... He made a mistake of wooing blindly with money, what do you think will happen when d money runs dry?

Ghost story

What I read here everyday is discouraging me from getting married, if d wife is not cheating, she will be secretive. Can i still get married sha?

I don't know if this is a Nollywood script but I would answer the questions.

What do you think went wrong in this marriage? -

The answer is the foundation of your relationship. She only picked interest to marry you because of your money and perhaps peer pressure to get married. The relationship from the onset was built on fantasy.

Who should be responsible for the financial responsibilities in a home?

The bread winner of a home is the husband hence responsible for financial upkeeps of the family. However the work as the wife should be a helper. Most Nigerian ladies don't understand that word. They feel it's all about taking care of the kids and cleaning the house. Naah! It's more than that. It's involves everything which includes financial obligation of the home.

Is a woman's money her money alone

Most Nigerian ladies are stingy to the core. They believe their money is theirs alone despite the fact that the man has tried for them but not financially stable at a point in time. If the man's money is meant for the family, why can't she also invest her money in the family?

What did the husband do wrong?

He supposed not to have allowed some attitudes when dating her.


In summary, the wife is done with the marriage except if God changes her mind. Divorce is not a good thing. Even her family is not making it easy for him. He should forget about her and move on with his life.

The stories that come from marriage these days are scary. May God help we that are yet to married

Women can be very complicated. You can decipher computational maths faster than women. Anyways it's just a lesson to those of us yet to walk on that part called marriage..

Drops phone..

jameshow:
What I read here everyday is discouraging me from getting married, if d wife is not cheating, she will be secretive. Can i still get married sha?

as In erhn...

I tire

There are always signs of this attitude during the dating phase bt most people aren't diligent enough to notice, talk abt it and work on improvement measures.
@OP, sorry abt the unforeseen events. It's obvious that ur wife wanted Marriage than she being ur partner. She got the title "Mrs" and she waved you bye.
My instinct tells me there's a second source of income for her that you're ignorant abt. Life can be harsh, good luck for the future.

"Anyway,our landlord gave us quite notice and we had to move into a one bedroom apartment from our three bedroom apartment."

- You mean quit notice

But where is lalasticlala sef

sirblero:





as In erhn...

I tire

Bro, honestly I'm confused right now, may be na baby mama stuff i go just do and forget the rest but I no want my pikkin to come from different mothers. I want a home but good wife hard to find. All of them go pretend but later change

MY GUY FORGED AHEAD WITH YOUR LIFE...
YOU JUST DODGED A BULLET..
BUH WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND....

Nairaland would just make u hate marriage.....nawa o.....na to stay alone

Bro you did nothing wrong. I know it's not easy but you have to Pick urself up and move on with your life. That lady was never really in that marriage. She gone now and it's good riddance to bad rubbish.

space booked

You should be really happy she left before selling your properties or even you yourself. Some women are deadly. A couple should cater for the house together unless one of them doesn't earn cash. As for a woman's money, it belongs to her husband just as her body and every other thing belongs to him and vice versa.
Be thankful that you're free from a woman deadlier than acid

Fabricated story to generated traffic

As much as this story might have been fabricated, this is what happens in some homes today.
There should be transparency between couples, as much as privacy should be respected, secrets are a No no cos they do more harm than good.
A family should be a partnership, a collective Responsibility of a man and woman, the idea of "my money is my money but your money is our money" doesn't pay on the long run.
Money/power are the best tool to get a persons real character.. money intoxicates and the woman got lost in it..the signs were there, she can't just become stingy with money overnight..

Family should be based on division of labour, it wouldn't hurt if the husband takes care of the capital expenditures while the wife takes care of the floating expenses..it makes life much easier and couples achieve their goals faster..
In marriage, you're ONE, one voice, one decision, one love..no "I" "he" "she".... it should be "we" "us"
I'll always tell my brothers to please settle for a woman who is ready to see you through thick and thin, not every one will earn millions in life,no matter how hard they work, but planning well can still make them afford basic life expections...

IMO, a woman who can keep such a secret from a husband who is striving hard to make ends meet, who is trying all is best is capable of murder..
ON the issue of sending money to her parents and sponsoring her siblings, I'm sure the husband has families to take care of too, if he decides to face his extended family like the wife did- who will take care of the home front.

@op, what the wife did was entirely wrong but two wrongs don't make a right, sending her out to me isn't the best option.. he could have been calm, call for a meeting first before confronting her...

For the woman to move out without giving a "fight" to stay in her home means she's tired and was already willing to leave and you gave her an easy way out...

Everyone deserves to be loved and accepted--- move on, she. was only managing you and she's obviously glad she's "free" now.
She doesn't trust you either, and of what essence is love without trust??

Transparency, Trust, Love, Tolerance, Respect, Honesty, Care/support are some of the main ingredients of a successful marriage
Go for a separation now, maybe over time, she'll realise her mistake and make amendments....if you love her, cos only you can make that decision cos its personal

If she does not come back, let her go, she was not really meant for you then.

Work hard, don't let it affect your mentality, there are still good women who will carry you along with every aspect of their life...double your hustle....one day, it will pay off
All the best

U will know the true character of anyone when they have MONEY!.

Marriage is a scam. Don't let anyone confuse you into that bundle of lies. I'm yet to see any marriage contracted since year 2000 that is not infested with lies and deceit.

You can make children without getting married. Wizkid, Davido and Flavour are not stupid.

As incredibly selfish and cold hearted as this woman sounds I can understand where she's coming from. My reasons are as follows.

1. You men bring this kind of behavior onto yourselves with the society and the culture you have created that seems to always favor the man.

The house belongs to the man alone.
When you are angry with your wives you tell her to leave YOUR house just as the op told his wife. He expected her to beg him to let her stay but when she didn't beg him he was shocked. She didn't beg because she has provided a refuge for herself. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and you were told to get out of your matrimonial home with no compensation and nowhere to go the way a lot of you husband's do your wives simply because he wants someone else.

2. Since your culture doesn't believe in community property (All properties belonging to both husband and wife ) a smart wife would make sure that she has the security of shelter and some funds put away for herself and her children incase shyt happens, otherwise she would be left homeless and destitute.

3. I can't count how many times I have read on here about husbands throwing their wives out of HIS house with nowhere to go simply because he wants to move his girlfriend and his outside children into HIS house.

4. I give kudos to the wives who are wise enough to make her own money and provide for herself and not completely depend on her husband for everything.

5. The down side to this story is the secrecy and not doing her part in providing for the family especially when the husband was having financial difficulties.

babyfaceafrica:
Fabricated story to generated traffic

lol English is funny! see as one letter dismantled the whole grammar

jameshow:
What I read here everyday is discouraging me from getting married, if d wife is not cheating, she will be secretive. Can i still get married sha?

same thing that came to my mind