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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum (22599 Views)
My Family Is At The Verge Of Destruction / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! / My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Humility017(m): 9:54am On Nov 02, 2017 |
pocohantas:it is Better he learn it....now. I once had a similar issue wit my mom.. you often pick on me....but I had to learn to love her more... I realise if I can't go well wit my mom and sisters...then I can definitely not cope wit my wife.... I learn how to be more tolerate and spend time wit her.....sometimes i walk my mom to her church...for meetings...every day I sit down wit her..and just listen her talk... she pour out her worries and fears... in return I smile and encourage her..making her see the sunny side of life... sooner...I became her best friend...and my younger brother became jealous... my siblings today all know...my mom love me more. I remember years ago I was leaving for nysc...my mom followed me to the park and watch me...leave...she starts to cry...and everyone at the bus station were amazed... right now...I live here in abuja....we still communicate as if we live in same house.. a day rarely goes by we don't talk... I gone love my mom so much....... truly mom are the best.... my mom...had to cater for us..after the split wit my dad...even after my dad's death it became worse...she can go borrow just for me...she did it severally when I was still in the university... I just can't stop remembering the tears of joy on her eyes after my graduation...seeing me becoming a graduate... any man who can cope wit his mother...definetely will have problem coping wit his wife...... because as a man it is now expected you translate same love you have for your mother on your wife..... she continues from your mom stops...and eventually will act your mom too to your children.... 5 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by samsam2019: 9:55am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat:you want to hit your mom? Are you mad? If you can come on nairalaind you can as well move out to Scot with a friend or anybody you know. And a room won't cost too much to rent. Get a job, any job |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 9:56am On Nov 02, 2017 |
pocohantas:see all of them shouting "don't try it". May God give us the man that will take us his sister too o 3 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 9:56am On Nov 02, 2017 |
QueenOfNepal:we smile together at times (mostly when my pay comes). i'm not all evil, just ambivalent. What i need is advice not condemnation 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by writeprof(m): 9:59am On Nov 02, 2017 |
You've been advised. That action would only bring a curse into your life. So, maintain your self control while things work out. If you pack out and leave her alone and she takes a wrong decision you'll blame yourself for life. Are you affiliated to any religion? Let your mother's spiritual head know what is happening because she needs counselling. If both of you are not committed to God, then you'll both need to begin a relationship with Him 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by bummyla(m): 10:00am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Please Don't Ever You Hit Your Mum! I have been there before! Thank GOD I conquered! Move out of your mother's house! Be independent! Place her on a salary, no matter how small something from a beloved son to his mother, even though they quarrel every often I did that! Now My Mum cries every time I load her accounts. She cries every time she prays for me! https://www.bummyla.com 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by BluntBoy(m): 10:01am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat: Bro, your father's mishandling of his affairs must be what is responsible for your mother's obvious psychological trauma. When she reexperiences the trauma your father caused her, she would suffer poor regulation of emotions which is what is affecting her relationship with you. She needs therapy. If you don't take her to see a therapist, she would continue to witness a painful triggering of the trauma your father caused her and her relationship with you would continue to get worse and worse and unbearable. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Daeylar(f): 10:03am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat: So you have a job and you're still living with your mum? You made it seem as if you have no source of income. Why are you still living with your mum? Move out. I guess that maybe one of the reasons she isn't happy, you have a source of income and you're still depending on her when you said she doesn't have much. Move out. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 10:03am On Nov 02, 2017 |
samsam2019:the dilemma is that, when i'm away, she's worried and calls but when in close affinity, she barks. Although the former will be better for her health. I'll try |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by fatymore(f): 10:03am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Palaver:i don't like abusing people on nairaland.. Don't you know when a woman isn't getting the love or what she needs. She isn't happy...if his dad is available do you think she might be like that.. My dad is late.. And it sometimes tiresome for my mum to caution US even when I know I am in the wrong but youthful exuberance Wil make me annoyed that's why what she is saying is annoying to my ears.. He should try and show her love.. Make her happy. Do you think it is easy to train a child alone... 3 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 10:03am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat: Ode park ur bag n head for ur village. Become a hunter there. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Assassin101: 10:06am On Nov 02, 2017 |
hit her and I'd personally assassinate you. if you luv death, then keep toying with the idea. am currently accessing your location. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by melejo(m): 10:06am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Hmmmm, beat your mom? Never! Pack out of the house, use the strength you want to employ in beating your mom to make money, go back and put a smile on her face. She will stop nagging you. As soon as you succeeded send me a bottle of origin (non alcohol because I don't take alcohol) 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 10:10am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Daeylar:to depend on 15k Health, food, cosmetics amongst other things. I can't stand on my own yet. I still think we can work things out. I'm trying to give her space 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by maisauki: 10:10am On Nov 02, 2017 |
use two things; psychology and spirituality by psychology, I mean just imagine that she's your boss in your place of work(where u dont av any oda option dan to work dia) and she's doing ds to u, will u raise ur hands against her? by spirituality, I mean u shd result to prayer or consult men of positive religious status... forget ds atheistic people shouting upandan, I'm a living witness to the power of spirituality. I av some behaviors which I've always long to leave but couldn't but it took 'just a gaze' and everything is gone u can PM me for more |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by arrestdarrester: 10:10am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Move out of the house. If you must remain in the house, stop lazying around and get a job no matter how lowly it seems. Just get something productive that keeps you away for 12 hours at a stretch of daytime. Even your potential wife no matter how younger (relative to you) will act like your mother if you act like this as her husband. Finally, don't bring a curse on yourself that you will regret... |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by bidexolumanish(m): 10:13am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Don't do it bro, don't fvcking try it. A nigur hit his mum for my area,he is useless and restless now(he is Prolly fvcked for life) |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by tabaski: 10:13am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat:Don't even think about it or dare it. Slap ur mum? Look kid quit whatever u been smoking lately that's getting u high ok. Wawa alrite 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Adaumunocha(f): 10:13am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat:You can move out... |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by fatymore(f): 10:14am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Humility017:thank you for this.. Those that have never been in this position won't know. Someone Was calling me itchy fingers cos of what I said.. It not easy I swear.. Love is all she needs.. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Daeylar(f): 10:22am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat: All right, Moving out should be your priority right now so try and cut down on the expenses you have, try and save and move out, also try and get another job if possible to supplement. Don't ever think of hitting her, don't ever think of hitting anyone at all except in self defence, it's completely wrong, It can be really tiring when anyone pours their frustrations on you but calm down, stop thinking of hitting her. That's wrong. Also Find ways to bond better with your mum. And learn anger management, stop being Short tempered |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by wolexf(m): 10:28am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat: You make it sound like you feel powerless in this matter because your father was short tempered, however you aren’t powerless, anything can be can be thrown at you like insult, bad attitude etc but regardless of what it is, you alone have the power of response. You can choose to have a different perspective for example you can choose to feel pity for your mum in which case you will not be angry anymore but you will sympathise with the trauma she has gone through and you won’t allow your button to be pushed. That’s what being proactive is about. It’s not easy but you can surely master this skill. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Rajosh(m): 10:30am On Nov 02, 2017 |
She's your mum. Do whatever you like but be ready to face the grave consequences if you do what you're not supposed to do. A word is enough for the wise. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by pocohantas(f): 10:32am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frenzyduchess: I've never seen NL guys speak in one voice against violence. This is a first. Amen sis...Amen!! 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by BlackyOne: 10:33am On Nov 02, 2017 |
you should think of moving out before your anger get to that point.....please move out and get somewhere else to live |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Whataworld: 10:37am On Nov 02, 2017 |
frustratedrat:sorry to make you feel that way ok?but don't ever entertain such thought of hiring your mum,no matter what.you still got human feelings,please don't let devil use you ok?your upbringing? Well I have no ideal,but however it is,try talk your pains to elderly person you respect a lot.you can send me a mail let's chat some more. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by afoltundeseun(m): 10:39am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Humility017:change that "n" |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by opomulero(m): 10:39am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Guy, no matter what, just see her as ur mother dont beat her, even if she beat you, which i know it will come to that level, just dey look like mumu. If u hit back, she will curse you and she will tell people around and they will join together cursing you and this will be a big problem for u in future and ur children fighting battles that you are not the cause. Have a plan B, i know its not thay easy to stand alone just like that in nigeria. Get an apartment if na 1 room to dey rest ur brain atimes and be leaving the house gradually, till u go completely. Abeg just no talk or hit her, shes waiting for u to do these b4 she opens the cancaworms of curses on u as a result of transfered aggression from her husband. But my advise to parents too, no matter what, please dont let us transfer our aggressions to our young innocent children. Many children nowadays are fighting unknown battles physically and spiritually caused by there parents. And lastly guy, make prayer your friend as from today. Prayer wards of alot of battles Thank yoy 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by joyAA(f): 10:43am On Nov 02, 2017 |
A nagging woman!!! The ugly side of mommy af come out! OP so sorry about what you're going through. Don't take it P, you're all hurting Buy correct earpiece or heaset sef When she starts...plug in and play...you can look remorseful sha...it will help , also try and just use humour to kill the whole thing... Like if she complains you are eating meat, you can say you're just helping her dust it, sand was on it or ant ....errrm that was my lame attempt at humour, but you get it.... Its not really to calm her down but to calm you down so you don't say what she may hold on to Try n buy her something, no matter how small, just come back hone n be like "mommy have this drink, I thought you'd like it" or stuff like dt It won't solve everything.. But its a start, don't forget that whatever you're going through in life, you have already been supplied with the strength and wisdom to see it through, so biko, don't start asking why and instead double your hustle, don't blame even your papa, he did what he did, now it's time to do yours, what do 6iu want the result to be? Be wise PS : you don't need anyone to tell you to get your own crib ASAP do you? Okay.... Just checking.... Its just a phase, you'll be alright.... |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Nobody: 10:44am On Nov 02, 2017 |
tabaski:i drink but don't smoke. I'm very jovial outside. People admire my benevolence and pussilanimity. I think 25years under her roof has made us 'unlike charges' |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Amacaco: 10:44am On Nov 02, 2017 |
Pray and ask God for grace to overcome. Develope a thick skin to your mother's shouts and abuses. Always laugh it off and walk away. if you have a room, walk into it, lock up and do anything you find so interesting. Never deliberately do anything to hurt your mother and when you mistakenly do, don't be proud to apologize whether she accepts the apology or not. Do everything to shut out the insults and abuses and do not spend time brooding over them. Reject in your heart any negative statements or curses from your parents in your life. Find out what your parents like so much and concentrate and do them whether they appreciate it or not. If you are a christian, spend time and read your Bible. It will help you. |
Re: Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum by Kobicove(m): 10:48am On Nov 02, 2017 |
neoapocalypse: I do not care how old he is, so long as you're living in someone's house and eating the person's food then you must abide by that person's rules otherwise go get a place of your own and pay the bills then you will reaslise that things are tough The idiot even has the nerve to tell us that he is short tempered...as if that is supposed to impress us 1 Like |
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