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Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... - Jokes Etc (17) - Nairaland

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Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by blahc007: 3:55pm On Nov 13, 2017
Krystaal:
Yoruba people will advice you for 6hours...
After they re through,
u will hear "I don't have anything to tell u again a word is enough for d wise."
.
grin grin grin ...6hours nd u don't have anything to say
if u come get wetin to talk nko
lolx..guy how do u come up with dis things..lyk i go com for joke tutorials for house..keep d fire blazing nwanne
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:04am On Nov 15, 2017
One Drop Of Rain . . . . BOooM The Whole Nigeria Is Hot.... grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:04am On Nov 15, 2017
There's no Animal That Runs Fast Than A Lady With Fake Hair and Make Up When It Starts To Rain!! grin

5 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:05am On Nov 15, 2017
Research has shown that the early signs of HIV/AIDS includes refusing to be tested.
.
No need to argue. Case closed. grin

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:09am On Nov 15, 2017
My granny is too strict, but sometimes she embarass me in front of my crushes.
.
If she see me walking with a slender girl, she would be like "We changed you nappies when you were young, keep chasing Aids, and see who will change you nappies again". grin grin

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:10am On Nov 15, 2017
The boss was telling me rules of the company. He said rule 2 is cleanliness.Then he asked me if i have wiped my feets on the main door carpet ?.
.
I replied "yes". He said, "Rule no:1 is honesty, and there is no carpet on the door". I am now fired. grin grin

6 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:14am On Nov 15, 2017
Hello Boss.
"I won't be able to come to work today, there's a taxi strike.
.
Boss "You mentioned jogging as your hobby in your C.V. Then i want to see you at work within an hour. Bye - bye grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:15am On Nov 15, 2017
Take a girl to a club and she'll wear a tiny dress but when it's time to sleep she'll be wearing a skinny jean, socks, helmet , gloves and overall
grin grin

2 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 10:17am On Nov 15, 2017
When your ex unblocks you, just know life is hard on the other side grin

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 11:55pm On Nov 15, 2017
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want! grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 11:57pm On Nov 15, 2017
When she's explaining how her last boyfriend hurt her and you gotta act like u ain't gonna do the same grin

4 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 11:58pm On Nov 15, 2017
Roses are red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go up, Pants go down, Body to body Skin to skin, When its stiff, Stick it in, The Longer its in, The Stronger it gets, It goes in dry And comes out wet, It comes out dripping And starts to sag, Its not what you think...... Its a Teabag

grin grin

2 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 11:59pm On Nov 15, 2017
No Body Lowers Their Voice Than a Guy Who ask For a Girl Number In a Taxi grin

4 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:00am On Nov 16, 2017
Man sends wife an SMS:
I got hit by a car outside the office. Sarah brought me to the hospital. They have been running tests and X-rays.The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have lasting or serious damages. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and a compound fracture in my left leg. They also may have to amputate my right leg


Wife replies:
Who is Sarah ?! grin

3 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:03am On Nov 16, 2017
When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at the moon in the night, there's nothing romantic about that.Its either they have no power or they are waiting for the harsh smell of a Mosquito killer sprayed inside to die out!

3 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:03am On Nov 16, 2017
They say milk gives strength. I drank 4 full cups of milk yet i wasn't able to move a wall, but when I drank 4 bottles of beer and I saw the same walls moving all by themselves. These nutritionists can tell lies grin

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:07am On Nov 16, 2017
An Igbo man bought a well from a Hausa man.
The next day while on his way to market he met the Hausa who told him:
"Brother, I have sold the well to you but I have not sold the water, if you use the water you will have to pay for it."
The Igbo man replied:
"Ah, yes. I was planning to go to your place and ask you to empty the water and if you don't do it then you will have to pay the rent for the water in my well." grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:10am On Nov 16, 2017
A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks. She asks angel: "What are these for?" Angel answers: "These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves." The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? ... Angel says: its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told a lie. The woman asks "Where is the clock of our President Buhari ?" The angel replies: That is in our office, We use it as OFFICE FAN grin grin
...

5 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:11am On Nov 16, 2017
*HOW TO CROSS ROAD IN iRAQ*
Look left and right for cars and bikes,look up for aeroplane,look down for bomb,look back for kidnappers,hold ur bag tight and watch the person beside u,den walk zigzag to avoid stray bullets.

2 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:13am On Nov 16, 2017
A very wealthy man was in love with 3 ladies and he wanted to marry one of them but couldnt decide which one. So he decided to test them by giving them R1 million each, the first one went and bought a car for him, the second one bought him expensive clothes and shoes and the third one invested the money and brought back the money.....
He married the one with the biggest ass. Men will always be men.

I know what you were thinking grin

4 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 12:15am On Nov 16, 2017
Husband & his wife went for Divorce at court. Judge: u have 3 kids... How will u divide them?

Husband had a long discussion with his wife & said Ok,sir We will come next year with 1 more kid

9 MONTHS LATER... They got twins grin grin

6 Likes

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by lhawarl1(m): 8:19am On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
One Drop Of Rain
.
.
.
.
BOooM The Whole Nigeria Is Hot.... grin grin grin
Nigeria's mating season grin

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by vivie01(f): 8:58pm On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
Hello Boss.
"I won't be able to come to work today, there's a taxi strike.
.
Boss "You mentioned jogging as your hobby in your C.V. Then i want to see you at work within an hour. Bye - bye grin grin

grin grin grin
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by vivie01(f): 9:01pm On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
When she's explaining how her last boyfriend hurt her and you gotta act like u ain't gonna do the same grin

Na true. Bad guys everywhere you go like MTN. grin
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by vivie01(f): 9:08pm On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
*HOW TO CROSS ROAD IN iRAQ*
Look left and right for cars and bikes,look up for aeroplane,look down for bomb,look back for kidnappers,hold ur bag tight and watch the person beside u,den walk zigzag to avoid stray bullets.

LOL cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy grin
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by vivie01(f): 9:13pm On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
A very wealthy man was in love with 3 ladies and he wanted to marry one of them but couldnt decide which one. So he decided to test them by giving them R1 million each, the first one went and bought a car for him, the second one bought him expensive clothes and shoes and the third one invested the money and brought back the money.....
He married the one with the biggest ass. Men will always be men.

I know what you were thinking grin

Me no understanding ohh angry tongue
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by vivie01(f): 9:22pm On Nov 16, 2017
Krystaal:
Man sends wife an SMS:
I got hit by a car outside the office. Sarah brought me to the hospital. They have been running tests and X-rays.The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have lasting or serious damages. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and a compound fracture in my left leg. They also may have to amputate my right leg

Wife replies:
Who is Sarah ?! grin

cheesy cheesy cheesy That's the one that's most important to her at that point in time now grin

But e no too good sha undecided
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 11:31am On Nov 19, 2017
Women can never be satisfied you can rob a bank for her she will complain and ask you why you robbed FCMB instead of UBA cause it has more money

1 Like

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Nobody: 1:41pm On Nov 19, 2017
Krystaal:
A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks. She asks angel: "What are these for?" Angel answers: "These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves." The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? ... Angel says: its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told a lie. The woman asks "Where is the clock of our President Buhari ?" The angel replies: That is in our office, We use it as OFFICE FAN grin grin
...
Na lai Muhammad own go bad pass.. grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Nobody: 2:53pm On Nov 19, 2017
Emmancy:
Witchcraft is when u are in class and your manhood decide to erect for no reason. . Then the teacher points at you to go and rub the chalkboard......� � �
This ond kan embrass person, nice jokes bro
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 8:31pm On Nov 19, 2017
A good girlfriend is the one that stays awake to kill mosquitoes, while her boyfriend sleeps.
.
You can argue with your ancestors! grin
Re: Latest Funny Joke 1000001% By Krystal... by Krystaal(m): 8:33pm On Nov 19, 2017
**AFTER SEX** USA girls: Baby did you enjoy it ?? Nigerian girls: Did you release inside me?? grin grin

1 Like

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