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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape (53142 Views)
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Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 9:34am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Is there a need to call this "men's corner" or other forms of couch group counselling sessions? Lets just gist and talk. I mentioned "men's corner" because men are the most likely to rape and more than 90% of rape cases have involved men being the aggressor. From http://www.dictionary.com/browse/rape, Rape is unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim So basically consent right? But is it all about consent? Imagine a lady comes to visit you and at 1am, you ask her for sex. She turns you down and you threaten to throw her out knowing well that she has nowhere to go at that time and she is also in danger if she does and because of that, she agrees, is that consent? Imagine the Manager asking one of the receptionists for sex with the receptionist knowing well that she is at risk of losing her job so she agrees. Is that consent? Your girl visits you, you make those romantic moves but she was not all for it and says no so you "lockup" two hours later, you take her out, buy her drinks and when you are both home, you have sex with her, she probably even took your shirt off for you but is that consent? You are a civil servant and someone wants a file submitted but you tell her to come see you in the photocopy room first, she agrees but is that consent? We as men need to do better. We need to drop the bullshit and rise about it. A girl is walking down the road and you and your friends turn it into a chance to make unsavory noises cos you think they are compliments…but isnt that harassment? You have convinced yourself that women say no but mean yes. Bruh, dont play that game……no does not and will not mean yes. Even silence does not mean yes. Because she is wet is not even mean consent. What's the worst that can happen if you dont have sex when turned on? Can we discuss this more? Lets be better for our women and maybe the world will be a lil bit better 42 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Lionbite(m): 9:47am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Its not rape if you have an option to opt out of the act. Most of the scenarios you gave are blackmail not rape. 19 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 9:50am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Oga at the top don show ![]() Some men don't care if the lady say no, all they want is to satisfy their sexual urge. The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she felt like killing him that moment. 8 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 9:50am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Lionbite:Yes but is consent drawn by coercion really consent? 2 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 9:51am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Lionbite:And the topic is not all about rape, it is also about sexual harassment and other grey areas 1 Like |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Lionbite(m): 9:54am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Mynd44:ofcourse...... it doesnt matter the medium used, as long as you succumb to engage in the sexual willingly Its not rape 2 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 9:56am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Lionbite:what are you trying to say? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 9:57am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Lionbite:So you do not see anything wrong with this? Why? |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Lionbite(m): 9:58am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Mynd44:the act of coercing and blackmail can be acclamatized to sexual harrassment but not rape. 2 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Nobody: 9:59am On Nov 22, 2017 |
according to the constitution or according to the society 1 Like |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Lionbite(m): 10:00am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Mynd44:why wont i, everything is wrong with it. Why will u decide to hold others to ransome just to please your sexuall urges. Sex should be a mutual agreement from the heart of both parties 7 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 10:09am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Evaberry:Both ways really. Lets just talk |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 10:09am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Lionbite:Hence the point I made. Do you think it should be prosecuted? 1 Like |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by IAMSASHY(f): 10:09am On Nov 22, 2017 |
![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Nobody: 10:10am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Oyindidi:Marital rape.That's bad,she should report to the police. 6 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Nobody: 10:11am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Oyindidi: This is sad Oyindidi The worst case of rape I've heard of is from a housewife. The husband will command her to go lie down and with tears in her eyes he'll do his thing. She told me last week that she was felt like killing that moment. If only men can understand that sex is a two way thing. It's to be pleased, and to please. Women should marry men with understanding. This trend will continue to stick around for a long time. My take on alleviating rape is raise up good sons, ladies stop complaining men this, men that, every man was once a boy, no one dropped from heaven. If we want a society with good men, then we should raise up good sons. Also, if we raise up good sons with the mindset of i'm doing this for the future, so some other persons will raise up good sons for my daughter, we will have a society saturated with good people all across. If we have a society that is proliferated with terrible people, then we are beneficiaries of our negligence. It's easy to see girls fantasize about marrying the perfect guy, but it's difficult to see the same ladies take about " grooming ". Perhaps responsibility is the key ! People hate to take responsibilities. So till we do all of these, let's not blame the male folk, nor the female folk for rapes, let's all blame our negligence. Peace 37 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Nobody: 10:12am On Nov 22, 2017 |
MhisTahrah: Nothing as marital rape technically. It will be quashed as a family issue. 4 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by LordHiffy(m): 10:15am On Nov 22, 2017 |
The bottom line is d word "consent" . I'll give a real life example... Mr A playfully grabbed miss B's ass in an office and with an unmistaken flirtatious smile on her face miss B said " if i catch u eh u will beg for mercy... bad boy". Mr C just walking into the office unaware of what had earlier happened tried to playfully touch miss B and behold he was met with a loud cry, the kind one would mistake for that of a woman in labour. So the bottom line is the word CONSENT. 13 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 10:17am On Nov 22, 2017 |
MhisTahrah:She can't, if she refuse to pull her short, he will ejaculate on her body. Its that bad but what can she do? She is scared of losing her marriage. |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 10:22am On Nov 22, 2017 |
IAMSASHY:It is not really a choice when the options are not favorable 2 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 10:25am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Jupxter:We are all for rasong better sons ma'am but how about the present generation of women who have to deal with this women? Isnt it good if these men can unlearn the things this patriarchal society has taught them and learn to be better husbands, partners, lovers, fathers, brothers, uncles and humans. That's the point of this thread. How men can be better 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by zainmaxwell(m): 10:28am On Nov 22, 2017 |
most times you don't ave to hurt yourself just to make others happy....giving in to sexually pressure is most done just as off it's a favour...most times you have to stand strong in your decision 2 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Mynd44: 10:30am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Jupxter:True. But the Lagos state domestic violence law of 2017 touches some parts of it. Look it up 4 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 10:30am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Mynd44:Ego won't let them, most men treat their wives like slaves. |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by LordHiffy(m): 10:31am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Oyindidi:That is gross I think that we Africans have so spiritualized sex that we dread speaking about it in public. If this matter were to be trashed in a family meeting I'm a 100% certain things would change 3 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by IAMSASHY(f): 10:33am On Nov 22, 2017 |
![]() Take for instance, ur no2 scenario, after working 4 a month, d option I got from my boss ws sex or no salary, I had 2 quit d job wtout even d payment, am happy I did bc d nxt Job I got ws triple salary of d former one, risks sometimes ar stepping stones 2 ur success, if u dnt take dem, u may remain at same stage, u dnt hurt ursef 2 please pple Mynd44: 3 Likes |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by zainmaxwell(m): 10:34am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Oyindidi:ma'am that's y the first phrase in relationships is called dating so as to know your lover more rule 1: know your audience |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 10:34am On Nov 22, 2017 |
LordHiffy:That's the point, I advised her to but she is too scared. You know those men that behaves like lords in their home. Let me not say much. I feel sorry for her but there's nothing I can do to help her. 1 Like |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by LordHiffy(m): 10:35am On Nov 22, 2017 |
This post shouldn't just be about how men can be better, but women too. You may not have heard about young boys suffering sexual molestation from grown up "aunties" or how men are being sexually harassed by ladies but i can assure you that these things have and are still happening. Its rather unfortunate that the same society that is blamed for making women feel intimidated by men is also responsible for making any "weak" man a laughing stock. When a man touches its called sexual assault, but when a woman touches its called flirting. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Nobody: 10:35am On Nov 22, 2017 |
Jupxter:It is still rape nonetheless.Married sex should be consensual.Saying "I do" to marriage doesn't give one the liberty to coerce or force one's partner into doing something they'd rather not do.Their decisions should be respected. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by Oyindidi(f): 10:35am On Nov 22, 2017 |
zainmaxwell:My brother, some people can pretend for Africa. 1 Like |
Re: Lets Talk About What Constitutes Sexual Harrassment And Rape by yanabasee(m): 10:42am On Nov 22, 2017 |
OK....today's rape talk!!! 1 Like |
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