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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? (25273 Views)
About To Divorce My Husband Who Sponsored Me In School. / I Want To Divorce My Husband As Soon As Possible / Time To Divorce My Wife? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Lexusgs430: 7:19pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
isaacfreeman99: Does you father try to fix other people's marriages (like members of his congregation)? It's your mother's call, let her carry her cross....... |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Herdeybayo1(m): 7:20pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Pray to almaighty ALLAH
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Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by adisabarber(m): 7:20pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Gather your brothers and sisters, pack your load, get a vehicle, put your stuff in the vehicle and then tell your mother to choose between her children and her husband. Send me consultancy fee when your mum starts a new life with only her loving children around her. isaacfreeman99: 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Nobody: 7:21pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
isaacfreeman99: Did your dad tell you all this or are you just biased against the guy? Your parents know themselves more than you can ever know, so be careful. You don't know enough to be a fair judge. By the way, have you considered that some people can be very good at playing the victim? Just saying... 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by micflo28(m): 7:22pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
You are right for not physically getting into a fight with your dad over your mums abuse. It always ends badly. I identify here that you have never sat your dad down and spoken to him like a man. Sit him and respectfully take him up on his behaviour. Remind him his position in the church and you are willing to enlist the help of senior members of his church as divorce is an ill wind. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by donkaz2(m): 7:23pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Pls dont try to abuse your dad back physically he is ur father no matter what... as for ur mum tell her to take 2 steps backward from your dadi know he wont bring another woman home since he is a pastor , ur mum should just be careful in dealing with him to avoid injury . if u want to take revenge this is what to do buy ur mum a recording tape or better still a phone that can record any time he starts abusing her verbally she should record it without him knowing and if u can video the scene better go to his church on a sunday morning mayb first sunday and play it before the congregation .....that will solve the problem. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by londoner: 7:24pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Op you are not wrong at all. Who would want their mother to stay in that situation? Nobody. You're a calmer person than me though. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Lomprico2: 7:25pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Sheepiesfamily! You and ur brothers should arrange and beat sense into ur father! He will re-align! What nonesense! 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Hector09(m): 7:25pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Clyod:my dad was the one thats operating under spell, well u wont understand brother untill it hapeen to u, my dad castigate my mums name even given his frnds my mums number so that they we ask her out, my dad is a principat at level 18 yet nothing to show for it, instead of that he we collect my mums money nd gave it to his numerous girl frnds cus my mum is a business woman nd she is also a civil servant, there was never peace at home any time my dad is around, it was a bad experience thats why i dnt like marriage as d poster said earlier |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by donnaD(f): 7:26pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
let me eat first am coming . |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by tosyne2much(m): 7:27pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
There will be a phase in a man's life when he will no longer be able to sit his father down and talk sense into his head. If at this stage you people can't gang up to fight for your mom at the expense of her happiness, then there's nothing Nairalanders can do. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Gluthatione: 7:29pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
isaacfreeman99:Hmmmm, this is a very serious issue, OP if you do not want your mum to die young, pls drastic action has to be taking. The first thing I think you should do is to write him a letter and tell him how you feel and all what he is not doing right. The second one is to inform an elder in your family or church to talk to him on how he is abusing your family and neglecting the family. I will also advise you before embarking on these make sure you pray and fast because this is the work of the devil in your family. If all these failed your mum should be encouraged to be separated(not a divorce ooo)from him for a while until things are sorted out. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by talk2biggz: 7:29pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
It is a wrong advice for her to leave her marriage, this will only satisfy your selfish interest. You should keep talking to your dad, upgrade your mom in your own little way and keep upgrading her. It is never perfect, s little improvement on both sides will solve the issue. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by londoner: 7:31pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Hector09: One thing you should understand about many African men. They will never call their fellow man to order or say categorically that he is wrong or that he should be corrected. Many think it's their prerogative to abuse their wives. There is a serious defect in too many of them. These types make up a lot of the places of refuge people should be able to run to. So don't be surprised if "church elders" and the rest have the same reactions if you decide to go to them for guidance. Some types will never reason with you on this. Thank God it's not all of them though. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Spatta: 7:33pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Education does not make a home work, it is Love that makes a happy home, You mum is not inferior to your dad because of lack of Education, you must understand that. The idea that because one party is Educated and the other is not by human categorization is invalid in marriage Unfortunately the man may have been deceived by his overrated self esteem derived by western Education, mark my word, (deceived) The Home survives apart from the delusion of western education by wisdom A man who does not know how to build his home, has failed woefully However, Your mum must overcome her "Emotional exhibition" which is common to women, women are known to create scene, spark a fire by their emotions A man aught to be guided by Logic, unfortunately Not all men exhibits Logical minds They must both engage themselves, Talk more, and as mature people interact as Friends as at the first time before the kids came If the man is not controlled from his trousers by looking at other things in skirts as most men do (Unfortunately some so called Pastors too) He will respond to the Love from Your mum and not her emotions, Men cannot handle emotions Finally, It is not your business to suggest Divorce to any one of them or else you are putting yourself in the place of God who might be working something out of their temporal disaffection You mum is a believer, and that make it better, there is grace enough in Christ to handle a strained relationship unfortunately you do not sound like you believe the Bible as i am wont to believe, because you will not be suggesting divorce to your strong Christian mother as God's word is against it Your Father may be dealing with "imperceptible Backsliding" the assumption that he does no care for his 10 children is your own conclusion and fabrication No man hates his Children, resources may be scare. men weep in secret and wished they could do more for their kids but maybe handicapped by resources and would rather not steal to tarnish their image and the name of God Things like this happens, stay in the fence, helping both of them to understand what you see is the solution This too shall pass 2 Likes |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Ayo4251(m): 7:33pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Softhands:I don sleep forget bro... 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Hector09(m): 7:38pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
londoner:yes bro u are right, so times i wish to ask my mum to walk out of d marriage cus she is rich nd she can take care of herself, i never wish any of my two sisters to marry my dad type of man, he dont ve respect for my mum and for us, am nt upset that he is flirting outside bt he should show my mum d respect that she deserves |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by ekems2017(f): 7:38pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Op, I really feel for your family. Your mum is afraid of a broken home but she is still in a broken home cos a marriage like this is broken already. Are you working? Can you afford to send your mum to adult education? If you can, do it for her. Bros don't be afraid of your dad. Sit him down and talk to him. Ask him this question ; that if his congregation knows all he is doing to his wife, how many people would still respect him or remain in the church. Ask him why he is not practising what he is preaching. Even though he will shout at you, beat you or even disown you You will live the rest of your life a happy man. He might not even know that what he is doing is affecting his children. Let him know that he has put the fear of settling down in the mind of his children. Be ready for the worst from him but stand your ground. Maybe he think you people do not know anything. My siblings once call my dad sat him down and talk to him. He got angry initially but later he went back to his senses. Don't be scared. You are a man. Rise up and hepl your mum. Involve your brothers if they are more than 18yrs. He will be scared. Some parent are always scared if their children are angry with them. But pray to God to give you words that would touch his heart. God would heal their marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by DedeNkem: 7:41pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
isaacfreeman99: Unfortunately your mum has an old marraige mindset in which a woman must remain in her marraige no matter how horrible and dangerous it becomes. And her not being educated made things worse because an educated woman hardly tolerates this nonsense. Another thing is that she would find it hard to leave after having 10 kids. And afraid of being alone. It is better to be alone and happy than be a bad marriage! Your dad on the other hand is an as*shole! You begged that we should not insult your dad, but why on Earth should any sane person respect him after all he has been doing to your mum? I beg to differ, he is an id*iot!! You called him a pastor, so why should he treat his wife and children badly? Is that what his Bible teaches? I can't believe people actually go to his church to listen to him? He's a monster! Your horrible father deserves no respect. He's an abusive as*shole! And your mum should wake from her long slumber and delusional thinking and do something! She got to choose whether she wants to continue to be unhappy in this toxic marraige and die early or divorce and be happy! You can't force her, it's her decision. You and your siblings can only give her the emotional strength and reasons to take action. Gather evidence of his abuse (via video and audio) in case you need it in Court. Tell your mum that the 'worse' in the "for better or worse" marraige vow doesn't include being abused. 4 Likes |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by kullozone(m): 7:41pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Hector09: Korret pesin... Na that kyn thing I dey like. 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Basic123: 7:41pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Chrisrare:You are the only intelligent person on the front page of this thread. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Bestchoice4me(m): 7:43pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Where two elephant fights,d grass suffer...Do dat ur body go tell u oo...It's not right 2 do dat no mata wot. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Mc1807(m): 7:44pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
hollamanng:...ur tuition no b waste |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Hector09(m): 7:44pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
kullozone:lol e be like say u be baddest pikin ooo |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by adeblow(m): 7:44pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
You see, men are still sexually active up till about 70 and in some even 80. He is maltreating your mom for one of these reasons: He is admiring one of those sisters in the church He is still sexually active while your mom is no longer sexually attractive. And your religion does not permit polygamy. Look, before you will come back and we will be reading stories that touch, as soon as u find a job and can live alone, quickly take your mom along with you and leave him to get married if he wants to. For me I so much love Islam in this case because; Supposing u get your frustrated dad a young beautiful wife to calm his nerves when he's back, he will change to a different loving person and live with your mom peacefully. I know what these old men want, they are just hypocrites. I hope he doesn't get rid of her without anybody's knowledge, u know what I mean 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by hollamanng(m): 7:45pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by adeblow(m): 7:51pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
DedeNkem:God bless u bros for this post. Let's call a monster a monster irrespective of whether he 's in the house of God or not. #rubbish |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Welcomme: 7:51pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
10 children? I am 150% sure u guyz are Idoma. Na dem dey born like chicken. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by megafone: 7:53pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
thorpido: So cute and accurate! |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by Nobody: 7:55pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Actually marriage is more of endurance than enjoyment...your mum knows what time it is, if she can't stand the heat, she best get out the kitchen. But I bet she won't...it's female nature you either tyrannise them or they tyrannise you...your dad is doing his job...wetin consign you? 1 Like |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by yvelchstores(f): 7:56pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Sorry for ur situation but how come your mother doesn't have the urge to improve herself after all these years? She can't speak English n her husband is a PhD holder. She gave birth till u ppl were 10. This shows she isn't enlightened at all, family planning has various options including natural. If u investigate, ur father may not be having sex with her again, if not,maybe u will be 15 in number by now. The man is frustrated. I am not defending him. I am just seeing from everyone's perspective. If you want to see improvement, help your mother polish herself and improve all round. 50+ is still young. |
Re: Is It Right For Me To Ask My Mum To Divorce My Dad?? by ladensmith(m): 7:56pm On Dec 04, 2017 |
Pidginwhisper:he said no insults....Nigerians eeh |
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