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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls (6491 Views)
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Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Hector09(m): 1:00am On Dec 16, 2017 |
My type, when i was in 100 level i dnt talk to any one in my room, thou we re just 4 cus thats d maximum, i just they mind my business ooo, my room mate start gossiping abt me, na that day i knw say boys can also gossip 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by AuroraB(f): 5:42am On Dec 16, 2017 |
nelsonebby:
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Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 5:48am On Dec 16, 2017 |
jamariwolf: |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 5:55am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Hector09: How can you live in a room and not talk to roommates? That is some psychological issue. You have a lot to benefit from people just as you may have a lot to lose as well. You can't be in a school and want to live like a hermit. It is like my ex. She had problems in school, same as one of her roommates. She wouldn't talk to anyone and continued combating the problem all by herself while her roommate and some other girls and boys with similar problem had already solved theirs. It took amnesty for her to graduate. She and that roommate later became very good friends. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Hector09(m): 7:16am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy:bro some people are born that way, i luv isolating myself cus i enjoy it, bt i ve improved, i cn now interat with some one bt nt always |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 7:32am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Hector09: Nobody is born that way. The family is the first agent of socialization and that is where many people learn to be social or not. For instance, if the father is reserved and not very liberal, he may influence his child to be reserved. A violent and controlling father or mother may cause their child to develop narcissistic personality disorder which would include inferiority complex and a desire to control/bully others. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Hector09(m): 7:41am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy:u got it wrong, my dad was a teacher nd he talks alot, my mum was d former women leader nd judge and my village, she is also a good talker if there is any words like that oo, my sibilings talks alot too, i cn remember my elder was sug spokes person during his time in skul, bt i choose to be difference, am born this way |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Nobody: 7:57am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy:true. I also bliv that when a child is kept indoors always, this happens. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Nobody: 7:59am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Hector09:everyone raising the born this way logo. Why not try to fit in like everyone else? |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Yinkakatty(f): 7:59am On Dec 16, 2017 |
M in my final year and I think I've been exactly like your roommate for most of my stay on campus. You know the major problem you have? People like you tend to think that everyone is like you, you make noise, shout, gossip with other roomies about another roomies. Feel me? Want you to know people are different, y'all are from different backgrounds and it can't be thesame! Not everyone likes to gossip, not everyone likes noise and she's not bonding because you people don't have like minds, you know? She's probably thinking of how to become a billionaire and you are thinking of bonding 3 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Yinkakatty(f): 8:03am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Also, I can assure you she wants a break from your face more than you need a break from her black face! 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by AnodaIT(m): 8:25am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Same here The same people who consider themselves pro in analyzing other people's lives and had categorized me as very quiet usually look dumbfounded when seeing me gisting and laughing with bloggers friends and computer pros. I just can't stand empty repeated talks Gofwane: |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 8:28am On Dec 16, 2017 |
jamariwolf: You are right about that. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 8:37am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Hector09: You can talk and still be reserved. What matters is your coping mechanism. I am also a reserved person but that does not mean that I wouldn't cope when life throws me into a situation where I am expected to relate with people. Left alone, I am a very quiet person, but that does not mean I don't have social skills. There is an explanation for why you may be different in that regard to your siblings. Attachment styles also matter. Children who enjoyed a secure attachment style with their mothers always grew up to be sociable people. I repeat, no child is born that way. I don't believe biology has anything to do with that aspect of our personality. It is just like saying someone is born to be a fervent Christian. You learn the fervency. It is all part of learning. 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 8:51am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Yinkakatty: I think you should read the OP again. That girl has some psychological issues that may need treatment. First, she stares strangely (can pass as a symptom of catatonic schizophrenia). Always looking over her shoulders (can pass for a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia). Finally, while it is true that people are different, it is also true that we are made to live in a society. We are made to live together and not in isolation. The reasons why we are different is not for us to go and live separately but to live together and learn from one another. That is one of the reasons why they were even in the same room in the first place. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 9:04am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Next2Bezee: Bro, the OP is right to ask for help. The girl in question may be deadlier than a snake. She can murder them in their beds if she is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Next2Bezee(m): 9:11am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy: Why are some Nigerians like this? Uncle are you the one that gave her schizophrenia?? Somebody is busy minding her business and you're saying she may be deadlier than a snake, you and the OP should better drop this primitive village way of thinking. Even if they just brought you people from the village, there is no need to showcase it to everybody. 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 9:27am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Next2Bezee: Get some education. I never said she certainly had schizophrenia. I only said she could be suffering from schizophrenia considering how the OP described her behavior. One of the symptoms could pass for that of paranoid schizophrenia. Go and check the lives of famous serial killers like Gein and Richard Chase, all of them had psychological problems, especially antisocial personality disorder. Lastly, not talking is now the same thing as "minding your business" You people have really abused the phrase "minding your business". Minding your business does not mean being aloof. Minding your business does not mean you should live like a hermit in a social setting. Hermits live alone. If you want to be a hermit, then you need to leave the social setting and go and live alone in a secluded building in a forest or somewhere. Someone shares a room with four people on campus; she is always staring and not talking and you call that "minding your business"? Even the whites who brought up all this "mind your business" stuff still respect common etiquette like, at least, saying hi to roommates and the authorities encourage them to report strange behaviors and movements. There is nothing primitive about my argument. There are people who spend years studying others (psychologists and psychiatrists). If we all decide to always interpret strange or antisocial behaviors as merely a result of different backgrounds or as an act of "minding your business", then, why do we need psychologists, social workers and psychiatrists? |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Yinkakatty(f): 9:41am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy: There are two sides to a story bruhhh... She came here to rant about how the girl isn't talking to them buh have you ever seen anyone with no association whatsoever? Even if it's just a friend, she will have. Why is she friends with that one friend? They have something in common! People like Op are people that don't know how to mind their business and they feel like everyone should be like them. In my experience, I have friends, acquaintances, but it's a hostel filled with different personalities. If your person and my person don't align, how can we be friends? 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Yinkakatty(f): 9:54am On Dec 16, 2017 |
I also need you to understand that people exhibit different behaviours that can make you dislike them in the hostel. For example, in my second year, in my hostel, Gas isn't allowed, we use stove. Now, I have cold easily and right in my small room of six people, my roommates cook and also turn off their stoves in the room with no consideration whatsoever for other people. Mind you, there is a kitchen. How do you expect me to cope with such people? She's here to tell just her side, don't make hasty judgement. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 10:05am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Yinkakatty: Too many contradictions and much hypocrisy in your post. You admonished me to always hear both sides of a story but failed to practise what you preach. How did you know that OP does not mind her business? I think the problem with you and many others on this thread is emotions. You are letting emotions run high and blind you from seeing the essense of the OP's call for help. The OP is not wanting friendship. She never wrote that she wanted the girl's friendship. She wrote because of the girl's antisocial behavior which included staring, not talking and always looking over her shoulders. Friendship is a hard thing to form but common etiquette like greeting shouldn't be a problem among people who are not even friends but are roommates. I have not taken the side of the OP against the girl. All I have done is work on the available story. Unlike you who has jumped into many unverifiable conclusions If I am mistaken, you can show me where the OP complained that the girl denied her friendship. 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 10:12am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Yinkakatty: You are the one making hasty judgement, my sister. I am still wondering how you concluded that the OP is the sort of person who does not mind her business. It is usual to have problems with roommates and by extension people in the social settings like workplaces and schools. The reason is because of differences in a lot of things, from personality to habits. But there are ways we can get along rather than cutting off people, especially people with whom you share a roof. That is why we have communication. Communication is how we solve conflicts. Conflicts will always arise in our relationship with others, even with our siblings, but is cutting them off the best bet? Of course, not. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Next2Bezee(m): 10:49am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy: And those symptoms could also pass for a bipolar defect, so your assumption is way out if line...considering you now decided to claim that someone you didn't know is a murderer. I do not see where the OP has expressed a desire to take some time and try to befriend the quiet girl and here you are, comparing her with murderers. Your argument is as primitive as it gets, i will tell you what i typed to the OP....You did not pay her school fees...so your epistle is crap. As long as someone doesn't not nose into the matter of others, even if they are aloof, then they are minding their business oga and that doesn't make them a hermit. If you're thinking if forcing everyone to socialize, then you need more than just an education. You need sense. 2 Likes |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 11:14am On Dec 16, 2017 |
Next2Bezee: Bro, use your commonsense now You said the symptoms could pass for bipolar defect (whatever they means). You are stating a possibility, not a fact. So, why use your statement of possibility to rubbish my own statement of possibility. Na which school you attend sef? Anyway, I wrote that "she could murder them in their beds if she had paranoid schizophrenia. The bold indicate possibility and not certainty. I never said with certainty that she was suffering from schizophrenia. I only said that it was possible that she was suffering from schizophrenia. No one said people should be forced to socialize but when someone cannot even exhibit proper etiquette (like saying hi to those with whom you share a roof), then, you are either rude, untrained or suffering from some psychological problems. I insist that you need to go back to school, my friend. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Next2Bezee(m): 11:51am On Dec 16, 2017 |
BluntBoy: Doctor oversabi, you were the one that brought psychological disorders to the topic. The only symptom the OP highlighted was that the girl was quiet and you rapidly assumed it was schizophrenia. If being quiet was what we had to go by, then it could possibly be a myraid of psychological disorders. Again i repeat, You DID NOT pay her school fees. There is no law forcing anyone to show etiquette. If the OP does not like it, she can move to another room. But you need sense asap, i wonder how you have survived until now no brain power at all. 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by Deckline(m): 12:24pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
jamariwolf:Your case is easy! Since you can't take it no more,take it some more. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 4:56pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
Next2Bezee: It is obvious that you didn't read the OP but depended on some of the comments here to display your staggering level of ignorance and lack of proper education. The OP never complained about quietness. As a matter of fact, the OP wrote that everyone in the room liked minding their businesses but that the girl in question was really something else. Get it into your thick skull: the OP wrote that everyone in the room liked minding their businesses but that this girl was something else. The OP never complained about quietness and I never said quietness was a symptom of a psychological problem. These were the strange behaviors of the girl as highlighted by the OP: 1. The girl always stared at everyone like she has got trust issues. (Which made me suggest that she might be suffering from catatonic schizophrenia). 2. She was always glancing over her shoulders like she is scared that somebody was going to stab her or something. (Which made me suggest that she might be suffering from paranoid schizophrenia). 3. She never talks. Where you saw quietness is what baffles me because the OP never mentioned quietness. You just wasted my time. Next time, do well to read the OPs very well before spewing nonsense. |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by nelson7777: 10:27pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
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Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 10:48pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
nelson7777: You are just reeling out terms without grasping the crux of the thread. Introversion is different from what is discussed here. Is it introversion that prevents one from observing proper etiquette? Does an introvert stare blankly at you or constantly looks over her shoulder like someone suffering from paranoia? Please, it is not enough that you read up on psychological terms or have a degree in psychology. So, supposing you are a psychologist and the OP comes to you complaining that her roommate stares blankly, constantly looks over her shoulders and does not talk to anyone, you will conclude that she is merely an introvert. Bro, go and return your certificate and ask for a refund. You fall my hand. 1 Like |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by habsydiamond(m): 11:16pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
Let her be jejeli unless u want her to strangle you in Ur sleep |
Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by nelson7777: 11:25pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
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Re: I Have A Problem With My Roommate. Please Advice Pls by BluntBoy(m): 11:38pm On Dec 16, 2017 |
nelson7777: Can't you read? Honestly, I am tired. I wrote that she could be suffering from paranoid and catatonic schizophrenia. I never said she had them for sure. You are the one who is certain that she is only being an introvert when you have not even seen the girl and assessed her behavior. I have never met such a psych graduate in all my life. Introverts stare blankly into space. They don't turn at you and stare blankly at you. Many of them are self-aware and would hardly let their thoughts wander as soon as their private spaces are taken up. 1 Like |
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