spikedcylinder:

In the past, the blame lay at the feet of the male. They were always the cheats, and always found breaking the sacred rules of matrimony. These days, with technology and all what nots, both sexes are found wanting. Especially women who now cheat on their families with reckless abandon and disregard for consequences.
Perhaps, the age old wedding vows/rules should be revisited and tweaked because it seems apparent that humans are not monogamous by nature.

Be single and hang around married men and you'll become the husband snatcher!

spikedcylinder:

In the past, the blame lay at the feet of the male. They were always the cheats, and always found breaking the sacred rules of matrimony. These days, with technology and all what nots, both sexes are found wanting. Especially women who now cheat on their families with reckless abandon and disregard for consequences.
Perhaps, the age old wedding vows/rules should be revisited and tweaked because it seems apparent that humans are not monogamous by nature.

WHy would you want to hang around married men?

JaaizTech:

Firstly, let me say after reading through all comments, I can say most posters are not married. And yes the christian marital vow is difficult to uphold infact almost impossible to uphold. But people to ashamed to come out to say the truth; I can boldly say 90% of men can't  maintain a single sexual relationship for more that 15 years, they are bound to cut corners; The reasons are simple: outside indiscipline, men want spontaneity, adventure and unpredictability. Something that will be very difficult for one woman to continue to provide over an extended period of time. We just need to come to terms with reality and stop deceiving ourselves.

This is not to say one cannot have a happy married life; definitely there is nothing as good as a good wife, it comes with his challenges and they are summontable. It is that sex part that is really the issue, and promiscuity, and bad dressing being permitted in our society today is not helping matters.

maybe open marriages should be it or renewable marriages where you decide every 2 yrs if you want to continue or not

bawomolo:

what if kids are involved, can u back out easily?

JeSoul:

Spikey whut up!  

Are Marriage Vows Difficult To Uphold? Depends on who you ask.  Lol. You're right these words have little to no meaning in most circles.

But honestly, even without being married to him, I have pretty much felt that way and it has been doubly reciprocated for over 6yrs now. Marriage is so much deeper than reciting a few vows. It's a mystery that I don't even think can be taught, it has to be experienced on the same frequency by two souls. This quote I think is stellar:  So the vows can be very easy to uphold, depending on the people involved, and the attitude, expectations, and motives for being in the relationship. Or it can as you aptly stated - a complete joke, where usually neither one in the couple is laughing.

Jeez man. Looks like I have the one vote in not caring.

Hello luv.

You feel what way? Committed? If you had the chance, will you blow off a wedding just as long as you know in your heart you'll be together forever and getting married is just a 'paper contract'? Will you?
Do the same rules apply anyway? The ones for committed couples and the ones for married couples?

JaaizTech:

Firstly, let me say after reading through all comments, I can say most posters are not married. And yes the christian marital vow is difficult to uphold infact almost impossible to uphold. But people to ashamed to come out to say the truth; I can boldly say 90% of men can't  maintain a single sexual relationship for more that 15 years, they are bound to cut corners; The reasons are simple: outside indiscipline, men want spontaneity, adventure and unpredictability. Something that will be very difficult for one woman to continue to provide over an extended period of time. We just need to come to terms with reality and stop deceiving ourselves.

This is not to say one cannot have a happy married life; definitely there is nothing as good as a good wife, it comes with his challenges and they are summontable. It is that sex part that is really the issue, and promiscuity, and bad dressing being permitted in our society today is not helping matters.

Don't you think then that such men should not get married? In fact, such PEOPLE should not get married because with what my eyes see these days, no one is a saint.
I mean, what's the point of taking vows before god and man and proceeding to desecrate those vows?

dayokanu:

Thank God the poster is not blaming only men as most females would do.

I agree people get married because thats what the society expect from people of certain ages. And this is not limited to Nigeria its all over the world

The marriage thing is overrated self. Why would someone want to be with/fork just 1 person for 50yrs when we have over 6 billion people in the world.

maybe open marriages should be it or renewable marriages where you decide every 2 yrs if you want to continue or not

Perhaps, people should face reality and make their own vows to allow promiscuity.

Iry Nky:

Marriage vow is the simplest vow to uphold if you follow the administrator's manual (The Bible)

bawomolo:

are you willing to accept such vows and what boundaries should be made with such vows, no unprotected sexx with others?  friends off-limits?

I suppose if I was a philandering LovePeddler, and my partner was too. . . .we could give room for err. . . allowances.

spikedcylinder:

I suppose if I was a philandering LovePeddler, and my partner was too. . . .we could give room for err. . . allowances.

zoelife:

Yes, they are becoming more and more difficult to uphold because the society we live in is becoming more and more morally decadent, wat with the internet and globalization.

They are God made laws and are as old as creation itself. Except we want to change God too.

What we need to do is to eradatice discrimination and myopic judgements.

People who are not married should not be seen as losers. The whole thing is a scam. The institute of marriage is supposed to be for people who want to have something sacred. But then if you decide NOT to get married, you become the outcast!

Party invitations - Come with your spouse
Adopt a kid and the villagers society would not accept him/her
Have a kid without a husband and you'll be the slut!
Be single and hang around married men and you'll become the husband snatcher!

Jeez, what if I dont want to get married because I know I can't keep those vows? Nobody cares!

So people get married to make the society happy, and then break the vows to make themselves happy . . . It's a viscious circle I tell ya!

VPersie:


WORD! I wish I could afford not to get married, but my mama go kill me (first-son). Lol. Seriously though, if she was not in the picture, I would quite easily decide not to get married, have a child out of wedlock with a woman that does not want to be tied down either, and we will remain friends afterwards for as long as we like/can tolerate each other.

bawomolo:


"what manual would that be, the muslim manual that says i can have four wives" 

Hey, man!

You don't need to ask this question.  God's intention and answer to this your enquiry is already in your face.

Whether the writer is talking about a Muslim manual or a Christian manual - it doesn't really matter which one because:

In the beginning, God created "Adam and Eve", period!  And not Adam plus Eve plus Cecilia plus Jumoke as too many hands in the soup can not only make it too salty but highly contagious. Got it  There you are and that's the manual you are asking about and don't enquire any further!

Theblessed:

Hey, man!

You don't need to ask this question.  God's intention and answer to this your enquiry is already in your face.

Whether the writer is talking about a Muslim manual or a Christian manual - it doesn't really matter which one because:

In the beginning, God created "Adam and Eve", period!  And not Adam plus Eve plus Cecilia plus Jumoke as too many hands in the soup can not only make it too salty but highly contagious. Got it  There you are and that's the manual you are asking about and don't enquire any further!

bawomolo:

not to bust your bubble but the tale of Genesis is a Judaic one and not universally accepted.    To claim God's "manual" is the Christian one is myopic. 

shanda:

Why should you make vows you can't uphold ? I can't make such cos I know I'm definitely gonna cheat on whoever I end up with. I don't deceive myself.

bawomolo:

he he so how many get out of jail free cards does your man get 


i wonder the amount of NL'ers raised in polygamous homes or parallel families

I wasn't raised in the typical polygamous home as it has just been my mum and dad all my life but I'm the only child between my parents. As a result, I have 6 older half siblings whom I love gidi gan. So, there. Count me in your weird statistic.

bawomolo:

when was society not decadent?  it's only broadcasted more now.

you think prostitution and the likes just started 10 years ago? cassanova was born 20 years ago?
larry flint and hugh hefner are older than the internet

humanity does that easily. we have gone from worshiping sango and amadiorha to worshiping jesus and allah in a matter of a few generations. gods change over time. Is polygamy a God made law, folks like Abraham and solomon had no problem having concubines.

spikedcylinder:

I wasn't raised in the typical polygamous home as it has just been my mum and dad all my life but I'm the only child between my parents. As a result, I have 6 older half siblings whom I love gidi gan. So, there. Count me in your weird statistic.

zoelife:

So, my dear bamowolo, where do u stand and wat do u suggest?

spikedcylinder:


I wasn't raised in the typical polygamous home as it has just been my mum and dad all my life but I'm the only child between my parents. As a result, I have 6 older half siblings whom I love gidi gan. So, there. Count me in your weird statistic.

bawomolo:


i have 8 half-siblings by the way.