Please read and share to friends and family,Thank you.

The growing rate of child abuse/bullying in our society has become so alarming and a huge challenge to all well-meaning humans. And in the spirit of Christmas, I want to appeal and beg caregiver and parents to please stop this act. It’s not nice.

Whatever it is you have been through doesn’t give you the right to pass your pain unto somebody else, especially no child! Somebody has got to stop it. Somebody has got to say this is enough.

Child abuse has to STOP! In whatever form, be it physically, emotionally or sexually (well that’s a topic for another day). And the fact that some of the abusers have been in that same shoe in the past makes it even worse and pathetic!

C’mon people you have been where they are, you know how emotionally down you were, How traumatized, How psychologically destroyed you were, and you still going to treat children the same way...
Who stops the circle? You got to break the negative and evil chain.

This goes out to all the caregivers around the world., please, If you can’t take care of a child, then leave that child on the streets, or with the parents, out in the cold, but don’t bring the innocent child into your home only to maltreat the child all in the name of,” I have given you a roof over your head and you should be thankful," hell no! It doesn’t work that way! Karma will punish you silly! Don’t do that.

It costs absolutely nothing to be kind. Your being kind to another person is doing your own self a favor and not the other way round, so stop with the demigod mentality when “helping” a child or anyone at that all because they are in your home or seem powerless. You feel better when you are kind.

I understand a lot of people are frustrated due to one thing or the other. I mean, the happenings in Nigeria right now is enough to push anyone to their limit, but please… spare the children. Don’t take your frustration out on harmless children just because you have the power over them. It is all shades of wrong!

If you have ever treated any child in a wrong way simply because you are not biologically responsible for them or because they are not yours, then you should be ashamed of yourself! Because you are part of the societal problems we are ALL facing. The child that picked your pocket and stole something precious from you? Was denied love, care and affection by a defaulted supposed caregiver. Someone defaulted in their duty and little show of kindness.

I have heard people who say “I also had it tough while growing up and I turned out fine” NO darling, you didn’t turn out fine but vindictive. If you turned out fine, you won’t melt the same evil on another person, go get healing. The negative circle we keep passing from generation to generation has to stop somewhere. But who is going to stop it if not YOU! The fact you had it tough doesn’t mean every child under your care have to suffer the same fate.

Treating children the same terrible way you were treated is not going to make you feel better, instead, it will keep reminding you of the pain and hurt you went through, but treating them better helps you heal faster and you forget everything you went through
I understand some people were broken, hurt and brutalized as children, but permit me to ask,
How did you feel when people said you will amount to nothing?
How did you feel when you were laughed at by your caregiver’s children?
How did you feel when people you loved as a child treated you badly? It’s crazy and hurt so bad.
Now why would you want to put another person through that same torture?

Imagine how you would have felt if just one person came to your rescue and showed you love? Showed you kindness, warmth, actual care... I’m pretty sure you would have loved it and felt heaven on earth in your small little world.

Now, in the spirit of Christmas, I appeal to your conscience, give that child (or youth/adult/any person) under your care, the opportunity you never had, to feel that joy this season.

To parents (and grownups), you don’t talk to a child anyhow just because they are defenseless or they are children, it is not good for their esteem at all.
When you are raising a child, is like you giving them a bag to pack, anything you do, puts something in that bag. So everything you give them, they will carry for life.

What are you putting in the bag? Are you putting love, confidence, faith, peace, hope or are you giving them hell to carry? Bullying them or teaching them how to be timid and then, at the end of the day, they won’t have anything useful in their bag pack. So when they grow up, nobody wants to be bothered by them or be around them and they turn delinquents and in turn broken individuals the society has to deal with because of what you have given them.

They are not just children, they are people.
Child bullying isn't normal. And please it should be discouraged to be seen as normal. I'm not saying don't beat your child/children, but I think talking to them MORE is important.. Don’t just do things without explaining to them the reasons behind your actions, children are smart now.

I grew up in a home where, when my mummy beats me, she explains to me her reason for doing so.., or when my daddy scolds me, he makes me see reasons why he did that. And I try not to do what I was scolded for again.

If you have to beat your child up like a goat or call them unprintable names before he or she listens (which in most cases they still won’t), then your parenting style is faulty! And let me guess you will say "that is how my parents also treated me and I turned put well" forgetting each child is unique.. Take time to find out what your child responds to and act on it.

Parenting is not a lazy job. This is the reason why we have a lot of grown adults who are so angry with life, cold hearted, and find it strange when other people show love to them. They see showing love as a taboo or a sign of weakness because it wasn’t put inside their bag pack while growing up.

There is nothing wrong if you apologize to your child, it doesn't mean the child is now greater than you, no! The child is still your baby, you are only teaching that child to be responsible and say sorry to others when he or she offends others.

We should learn to teach children responsibility by SHOWING it to them! Whatever a child become as an adult, is greatly dependent on the kind of upbringing he/she had.

If you bully your children simply become you are their caregiver, then the society will have to deal with a defensive and angry child, or someone who doesn't know his rights.
I have noticed that parents who are unreasonably harsh on children do so because;
1. The children are the only people they can exercise power over..
2. Because they were raised like that, and just don't see the need to change the approach even if they know better.

Please stop child bullying.. It is not instilling discipline! If anything, is damaging the psychosocial make-up of the child.
So please, let us try to break the circle of abuse and child bullying even as we all enjoy this festive period.
**************************************************************
On behalf of Total Woman concept, I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance.
We love you all!
#KeepReadingTWC������
Tobi Ezekiel.

Cc Lalasticlala, mynd44

.

amokeme:
Please read and share to friends and family,Thank you.

The growing rate of child abuse/bullying in our society has become so alarming and a huge challenge to all well-meaning humans. And in the spirit of Christmas, I want to appeal and beg caregiver and parents to please stop this act. It’s not nice.

Whatever it is you have been through doesn’t give you the right to pass your pain unto somebody else, especially no child! Somebody has got to stop it. Somebody has got to say this is enough.

Child abuse has to STOP! In whatever form, be it physically, emotionally or sexually (well that’s a topic for another day). And the fact that some of the abusers have been in that same shoe in the past makes it even worse and pathetic!

C’mon people you have been where they are, you know how emotionally down you were, How traumatized, How psychologically destroyed you were, and you still going to treat children the same way...
Who stops the circle? You got to break the negative and evil chain.

This goes out to all the caregivers around the world., please, If you can’t take care of a child, then leave that child on the streets, or with the parents, out in the cold, but don’t bring the innocent child into your home only to maltreat the child all in the name of,” I have given you a roof over your head and you should be thankful," hell no! It doesn’t work that way! Karma will punish you silly! Don’t do that.

It costs absolutely nothing to be kind. Your being kind to another person is doing your own self a favor and not the other way round, so stop with the demigod mentality when “helping” a child or anyone at that all because they are in your home or seem powerless. You feel better when you are kind.

I understand a lot of people are frustrated due to one thing or the other. I mean, the happenings in Nigeria right now is enough to push anyone to their limit, but please… spare the children. Don’t take your frustration out on harmless children just because you have the power over them. It is all shades of wrong!

If you have ever treated any child in a wrong way simply because you are not biologically responsible for them or because they are not yours, then you should be ashamed of yourself! Because you are part of the societal problems we are ALL facing. The child that picked your pocket and stole something precious from you? Was denied love, care and affection by a defaulted supposed caregiver. Someone defaulted in their duty and little show of kindness.

I have heard people who say “I also had it tough while growing up and I turned out fine” NO darling, you didn’t turn out fine but vindictive. If you turned out fine, you won’t melt the same evil on another person, go get healing. The negative circle we keep passing from generation to generation has to stop somewhere. But who is going to stop it if not YOU! The fact you had it tough doesn’t mean every child under your care have to suffer the same fate.

Treating children the same terrible way you were treated is not going to make you feel better, instead, it will keep reminding you of the pain and hurt you went through, but treating them better helps you heal faster and you forget everything you went through
I understand some people were broken, hurt and brutalized as children, but permit me to ask,
How did you feel when people said you will amount to nothing?
How did you feel when you were laughed at by your caregiver’s children?
How did you feel when people you loved as a child treated you badly? It’s crazy and hurt so bad.
Now why would you want to put another person through that same torture?

Imagine how you would have felt if just one person came to your rescue and showed you love? Showed you kindness, warmth, actual care... I’m pretty sure you would have loved it and felt heaven on earth in your small little world.

Now, in the spirit of Christmas, I appeal to your conscience, give that child (or youth/adult/any person) under your care, the opportunity you never had, to feel that joy this season.

To parents (and grownups), you don’t talk to a child anyhow just because they are defenseless or they are children, it is not good for their esteem at all.
When you are raising a child, is like you giving them a bag to pack, anything you do, puts something in that bag. So everything you give them, they will carry for life.

What are you putting in the bag? Are you putting love, confidence, faith, peace, hope or are you giving them hell to carry? Bullying them or teaching them how to be timid and then, at the end of the day, they won’t have anything useful in their bag pack. So when they grow up, nobody wants to be bothered by them or be around them and they turn delinquents and in turn broken individuals the society has to deal with because of what you have given them.

They are not just children, they are people.
Child bullying isn't normal. And please it should be discouraged to be seen as normal. I'm not saying don't beat your child/children, but I think talking to them MORE is important.. Don’t just do things without explaining to them the reasons behind your actions, children are smart now.

I grew up in a home where, when my mummy beats me, she explains to me her reason for doing so.., or when my daddy scolds me, he makes me see reasons why he did that. And I try not to do what I was scolded for again.

If you have to beat your child up like a goat or call them unprintable names before he or she listens (which in most cases they still won’t), then your parenting style is faulty! And let me guess you will say "that is how my parents also treated me and I turned put well" forgetting each child is unique.. Take time to find out what your child responds to and act on it.

Parenting is not a lazy job. This is the reason why we have a lot of grown adults who are so angry with life, cold hearted, and find it strange when other people show love to them. They see showing love as a taboo or a sign of weakness because it wasn’t put inside their bag pack while growing up.

There is nothing wrong if you apologize to your child, it doesn't mean the child is now greater than you, no! The child is still your baby, you are only teaching that child to be responsible and say sorry to others when he or she offends others.

We should learn to teach children responsibility by SHOWING it to them! Whatever a child become as an adult, is greatly dependent on the kind of upbringing he/she had.

If you bully your children simply become you are their caregiver, then the society will have to deal with a defensive and angry child, or someone who doesn't know his rights.
I have noticed that parents who are unreasonably harsh on children do so because;
1. The children are the only people they can exercise power over..
2. Because they were raised like that, and just don't see the need to change the approach even if they know better.

Please stop child bullying.. It is not instilling discipline! If anything, is damaging the psychosocial make-up of the child.
So please, let us try to break the circle of abuse and child bullying even as we all enjoy this festive period.
**************************************************************
On behalf of Total Woman concept, I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance.
We love you all!
#KeepReadingTWC������
Tobi Ezekiel.

Cc Lalasticlala, mynd44

.

The article long joor,
But I sha know say child abuse no good and I support the call to end it!

I find it difficult to even beat a child when they do something wrong not to talk of abusing them

I don't just know why I can't hit kids

the only time I managed to beat my younger sister of seventeen years who was under my care was a day I went to watch football at viewing centre. after the match it was already late at night. it was already past ten.
so my intention was to call her on phone so she can open the gate for me instead of knocking the gate and creating awareness in the street at that time of the night.

jeez!
to my greatest surprise when I called her phone ehnnnn. the noise from the background was too much
so I end the call and dialled it again only for me to realize she was at a party in one popular play house close to our house in Benin.
I was extremely annoyed coupled with the fact that my club even lost that night.

to make the whole thing worse even when I ordered her to come home immediately it took her about an hour to walk home despite the fact that the place was very close to house which means she didn't come immediately

so I was so annoyed and I was left with no choice than to beat her that night. it was even my daddy that make me beat her because i called my dad and reported and my dad was like common flog her with Cain.
but later apologised to her and advice her. bought her cold malt the next morning.

that was the only instance have hit her since she was born.

I don't like beating kids it hurts me a lot not to talk of abusing them emotionally and physically

Not just at Christmas.
As a father and an uncle, I support this wholeheartedly.

Wonderful article. Perfect.

This should also include all those siblings that feel that because they are older they can abuse the younger ones.

Referendum, new electoral system, new constitution.

Those who take it out on these young ones need psychological help but they don't Vthink they have issues that makes their minds be in an unhealthy place.

OP, abeg add the website link to the writer's article up there.

A lot of Nigerians are cruel, wicked and vindictive. I suspect it's the way we are brought up.

Thanks goodness are eyes are opening and we are becoming better as a people.

But those that abuse children, they are the devil spawn. A child should be shown love and care.

We didn't say you shouldn't discipline a child, but don't be wicked just for the sake.

.....

Daeylar:
Wonderful article. Perfect.

This should also include all those siblings that feel that because they are older they can abuse the younger ones.

Parents have a key role to play in other to halt the abuse.

Daeylar:
Wonderful article.

Soo! Cu

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO ALL ADAMANT MARRIED WOMEN ABUSING/BATTERING THEIR HOUSEHELPS.

Its coming for you one way or the other.

You're on point.a lot of us were victims of parental emotional abuse especially if you're Yoruba.they think emotional abuse is discipline and child training,THEY don't know it's damaging and causes severe depression,low self esteem and nagging habits for girls and for boys unnecessary aggression ,violence and rage including wife battery

Reason I don't enjoy my parents company or staying around them

In the same vein, people need to stop online bullying. Its very common on Nairaland. The rate at which people hurl out insults and curses on people they have never met just because they put forward opinions you don't agree with. Its most disgusting when they abuse others simply because they are from a different tribe or religion. Or abuse celebrities for little or no reason. You don't know what people are going through and those insults could go much deeper than we realize. Its not only little kids that are bullied

I'm so happy this made front page, thank you Mods and merry Christmas to everyone

yhlve:


Soo! Cu

Why did you say the bold?

SAMBARRY:
You're on point.a lot of us were victims of parental emotional abuse especially if you're Yoruba.they think emotional abuse is discipline and child training,THEY don't know it's damaging and causes severe depression,low self esteem and nagging habits for girls and for boys unnecessary aggression ,violence and rage including wife battery

Reason I don't enjoy my parents company or staying around them

I know a women who beat her daughter to the point of removing her front tooth! Is just sad

Nice article dear . Keep it up

aflyingbird:
OP, abeg add the website link to the writer's article up there.

I'm the writer. Here is the link http://www.tobiezekiel.com/2017/12/in-spirit-of-christmas-please-stop.html

KingEbukasBlog:
Nice article dear . Keep it up

Thank you my bubu

Too long

Lol

No singled day passes without me getting called names without doing anything to warrant it


I shld go nd die,.deh shld kill.me.outside
Dat I laugh like a fool
Am nt worth their.10 naira
Dat am useless, stupid a fool
Etc


U knw how.many tyms I don try commit suicide

Sometimes sef I go even wan kill dem follow body buh I deh pity my siblings

Me na one kind shy person., hardly interacts with pple
So dis talks pain.me d more
Plus when we do prayers n d morning am d main subject
everyday for dis 2017
I have been called names , insulted



Me as I deh so ehn
If I get pikin
my only wish is nt to b like.my parents

Never instead of dat lemme just b childless
Cos I knw what d kids will pass thru

Emzyme:
Lol

No singled day passes without me getting called names without doing anything to warrant it


I shld go nd die,.deh shld kill.me.outside
Dat I laugh like a fool
Am nt worth their.10 naira
Dat am useless, stupid a fool
Etc


U knw how.many tyms I don try commit suicide

Sometimes sef I go even wan kill dem follow body buh I deh pity my siblings

Me na one kind shy person., hardly interacts with pple
So dis talks pain.me d more
Plus when we do prayers n d morning am d main subject
everyday for dis 2017
I have been called names , insulted



Me as I deh so ehn
If I get pikin
my only wish is nt to b like.my parents

Never instead of dat lemme just b childless
Cos I knw what d kids will pass thru

That last line na d exact thing I b plan,I con reason orphans I go adopt by God's grace.

Nigerian parents are the worst type of parents in africa

Emzyme:
Lol

No singled day passes without me getting called names without doing anything to warrant it


I shld go nd die,.deh shld kill.me.outside
Dat I laugh like a fool
Am nt worth their.10 naira
Dat am useless, stupid a fool
Etc


U knw how.many tyms I don try commit suicide

Sometimes sef I go even wan kill dem follow body buh I deh pity my siblings

Me na one kind shy person., hardly interacts with pple
So dis talks pain.me d more
Plus when we do prayers n d morning am d main subject
everyday for dis 2017
I have been called names , insulted



Me as I deh so ehn
If I get pikin
my only wish is nt to b like.my parents

Never instead of dat lemme just b childless
Cos I knw what d kids will pass thru

I love the bold. That's breaking the evil chain in was talking about. I'm so sorry for your experience.

Talkwell:


That last line na d exact thing I b plan,I con reason orphans I go adopt by God's grace.

Nigerian parents are the worst type of parents in africa

Not all...