Her salary! Do what u want with urs

is important to know you love your wife and you both are new wed...
i might not be the best person to advice you, but
as a man, you need to handle this matter caution...
is a very sensitive matter, to handle this matter, my candid advice
will be to show her love more love than ever, dont let her feel you are more concerned with her salary,
show her more love, get her to trust you on this matter....then she weakened, and work on her..get her to see the bigger picture of what you guys have ahead and need to accomplish together.....

Phi001:

1/12th is gone, I agree...but the woman won't have made the decision if she thought they didn't have back up money.

I really don't see any problem unless the decision affects the family's upkeep...

marriage is a team (one)
U don't know if it affect the family

TheUbermensch:


God bless you for this.

The problem with Nairaland is everyone seems all knowing. That is how they go about deceiving poor folks in matters they have no knowledge about.

But I don't blame them fully. I blame the ones who bring very private matters to the internet.

Honestly it's annoying! Every little thing, they'll be saying they should leave their partners as if that's how relationship works and most of these folks endure rubbish in their relationships then come here to form alpha males.

tonytony208:


I'm a Catholic but I don't understand this one. Are you sure you aren't trying to give the Catholic Church a bad image? Are you sure you aren't making this nonsense up?

My dear, I'm a core kingdom man, I will never tarnish the image of any church. I believe we are all children of the kingdom. I used to follow her to her charismatic renewal prayer section any time I'm chance. Even yesterday, we went to "chapel" (a silent place for prayer) in her catholic church and we prayed for hours. I don't discriminate between denominations. God is more concerned about nations and generations, not denominations. God bless.....

Pierohandsome:
ur spiritual level is also low. If she told her husband and his faith is not strong enough to accommodate the move what do u think wil Happen? He wil stop her frm obeying the divine instruction and deny her the blessing God prepared for her at that point.

As for carrying responsibility, leave that for God and see hw marvelous God is. Spiritual obedience comes with a cost bt the end product is glory

I think you are wrong also. God is a God of order and is not the author of confusion. Spiritual level rating or not, the husband is the head of the wife, and God recognizes it so, nay scratch that, the husband is the head of the wife and God made it so and honours it as well. Spiritual level rating or not. It is no wonder, the bible says a husband has the spiritual authority over his wife and can even cancel the vows she made to God without her husband knowledge.

Giving to the Reverend gentlemen is a commendable act of faith but doing it without his husband knowledge and agreement is spiritual rascality and is condemnable.

See Num 30:6-16 6 [b]“Now suppose a young woman makes a vow or binds herself with an impulsive pledge and later marries.
7 If her husband learns of her vow or pledge and does not object on the day he hears of it, her vows and pledges will stand.
8 But if her husband refuses to accept her vow or impulsive pledge on the day he hears of it, he nullifies her commitments, and the LORD will forgive her.
9 If, however, a woman is a widow or is divorced, she must fulfill all her vows and pledges.
10 “But suppose a woman is married and living in her husband’s home when she makes a vow or binds herself with a pledge.
11 If her husband hears of it and does not object to it, her vow or pledge will stand.
12 But if her husband refuses to accept it on the day he hears of it, her vow or pledge will be nullified, and the LORD will forgive her.
13 So her husband may either confirm or nullify any vows or pledges she makes to deny herself.
14 But if he does not object on the day he hears of it, then he is agreeing to all her vows and pledges.
15 If he waits more than a day and then tries to nullify a vow or pledge, he will be punished for her guilt.”
16 These are the regulations the LORD gave Moses concerning relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and a young daughter who still lives at home.[/b]

Guysses:
Am ashamed on some people here even those that call them self catholics.. now OP, catholic pay tithe nd seed which nobody will force you to do, u cn drop ur seed nd tithe in a box in d chapel wher d priest wil later collect it nd pray over it

This is a big fat lie. There is nothing like sowing of seeds in the Catholic church. During offering, a basket is sent out or people walk up to the front to drop their offerings. You are encouraged to give what you can afford and no mention is made of tithes.

Op, i wudnt say it is wrong but you have to caution ur wife, talk to her so she wont repeat it again

Since she said the holy spirit spoke to her to give the pastor, she would later come with other revelations saying that the holy spirit told her to do this and that and the circle continues, believe me it will take a toll on your marriage.

Speaking from experience, mine was too much,we had to leave the church.

ubunja:
if i were you i would be filing for divorce.
she respects the pastor's dick more than your own dick.
her and the pastor deserve each other

just shut ur stinking mouth already.

postmann:


The temptation to answer your question is strong, but stronger is my ability to identify and side-step you -- a greenhorn atheist.

A scriptural discuss with you is fruitless.

how predictable

tonytony208:


I'm a Catholic but I don't understand this one. Are you sure you aren't trying to give the Catholic Church a bad image? Are you sure you aren't making this nonsense up?

That was the same thought I had when I read the op's story. I just thought to myself that maybe the Catholic church in Nigeria has changed its approach because the Catholic church I know does not lay emphasis on tithes and it certainly has no such thing as "sowing of seeds". Sowing of seeds is done in the Pentecostal churches.

.

ubunja:

isnt this the same Martin women gave First Place in the ArseLicking Awards 2017?

Lol ���

alexialin:





Exactly!

If I were the husband, I will be very angry with her and she will hear an earful from me.
Ordinary say my customer owing me money November time, promising to pay by January. Began telling me stories that she has sowed all her December salary to Pastor and I should wait til February for January salary. Mehn I sparked!
Money have been waiting for patiently to solve some very pressing issues, she then said she has sowed it all.

If she were a kid? I would have beaten shege from her body until she run go meet pastor collect the money back! I don't have patience for stupidity.

Mehn she got an earful from me. I was like are there still dumbb women at this time and era?

Am a woman o but sorry I don't sow foolishly. Then open mouth for air, dey look.
Not my portion. My creator himself would not want to see me suffer that much.

Haba.

I have been seeing your comment and this is not ass-licking but saying it as I see it... The one good thing I noticed( even in some places I don't agree with you) is how independent you truly are ..not all this nairaland, lazy, broke slayqueens that only make noise here w. Only a woman who have a business of her own and makes her own money will make this kind of comment you just did.

lawman88:

Please read and understand. She sowed the seed before January first and it is not a first fruit. In fact, it is the last fruit of the year. She only told me yesterday

What is the difference between last fruit and first fruit,in so far it's your entire earnings for that month.Your complaints is unfounded.

sirabbey:


I think you are wrong also. God is a God of order and is not the author of confusion. Spiritual level rating or not, the husband is the head of the wife, and God recognizes it so, nay scratch that, the husband is the head of the wife and God made it so and honours it as well. Spiritual level rating or not. It is no wonder, the bible says a husband has the spiritual authority over his wife and can even cancel the vows she made to God without her husband knowledge.

Giving to the Reverend gentlemen is a commendable act of faith but doing it without his husband knowledge and agreement is spiritual rascality and is condemnable.

See Num 30:6-16 6 [b]“Now suppose a young woman makes a vow or binds herself with an impulsive pledge and later marries.
7 If her husband learns of her vow or pledge and does not object on the day he hears of it, her vows and pledges will stand.
8 But if her husband refuses to accept her vow or impulsive pledge on the day he hears of it, he nullifies her commitments, and the LORD will forgive her.
9 If, however, a woman is a widow or is divorced, she must fulfill all her vows and pledges.
10 “But suppose a woman is married and living in her husband’s home when she makes a vow or binds herself with a pledge.
11 If her husband hears of it and does not object to it, her vow or pledge will stand.
12 But if her husband refuses to accept it on the day he hears of it, her vow or pledge will be nullified, and the LORD will forgive her.
13 So her husband may either confirm or nullify any vows or pledges she makes to deny herself.
14 But if he does not object on the day he hears of it, then he is agreeing to all her vows and pledges.
15 If he waits more than a day and then tries to nullify a vow or pledge, he will be punished for her guilt.”
16 These are the regulations the LORD gave Moses concerning relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and a young daughter who still lives at home.[/b]

That is a vow, a vow is different frm divine instruction. A vow is an oath made to God to fulfill some conditions if God does grants a request. A divine instruction is a command which must be obeyed without seeking for consent Frm anyone and that is what the woman did.

Think of it, if she told the husband and he refused what do u think will happen? That will be be worst, at that point is either she obeys God and disorganise her home , or disobey God and bear a more serious consequence for her disobedience.

There are certain divine instructions that u dnt need to confide on anybody if u want to obey it, or they wil confuse u

Hahahahahahaha.....

lookingfly:
just shut ur stinking mouth already.

that will never happen. and you know it.

It is totally wrong for her to do that without the consent of the husband. Pls read Numbers chapter 30

Pierohandsome:
Spiritual obedience is sensitive and personal. She acted based on the knowledge of ur spiritual level, decisions like that doesnt require any consultation frm third party especially if she knows the spiritual level of the person she is trying to confide with is low.

She did the right thing, be happy with Her and move on

You're VERY WRONG. If you are a pastor or counsellor never ever tell a couple such crap. The Bible commands that the woman must submit to her husband. You think the submission is just physical? The husband is her spiritual head, he is the priest of the home, he should be consulted before such decisions are taken by his wife. Do you know that as a husband, the man can annul his wife's fast or vows if he's not in agreement? God is not an author of confusion, a believer is admonished to marry a fellow believer so even if she feels she's unequally yoked...she MUST submit to the man.

This is not right, I believe the wife should notify the husband on this before taking any step. "What God has joined together let no one put asunder".

lawman88:

My dear, I'm a core kingdom man, I will never tarnish the image of any church. I believe we are all children of the kingdom. I used to follow her to her charismatic renewal prayer section any time I'm chance. Even yesterday, we went to "chapel" (a silent place for prayer) in her catholic church and we prayed for hours. I don't discriminate between denominations. God is more concerned about nations and generations, not denominations. God bless.....

. My guy keep your marriage to yourself because a marriage of four months is too young to be on nairaland. Besides I don't think your story is true based on your last paragraph of your complain. Asking if sowing seed is a doctrine in catholic church when your G.O is demanding 1billion naira. In as much I don't support your wife for not telling you, I still doubt the authenticity of your story. If you are a kingdom man as you claim you wouldn't have asked if sowing seed is a doctrine in a church when 80% of RCCG members first salary is used for seed sowing.

lawman88:
Happy new year Nairalanders,

My wife is very churchy and spiritual. I love her for that but she told me this morning that the spirit ministered to her to sow something huge to a reverend father, so she carried all her December salary and gave to a reverend father. I asked her why she didn't notify me before she undertook it and she said such instructions should be carried out without anybody's knowledge.

I'm not a catholic member, I'm RCCG. catholic members in the house, is that how your doctrine is? We are young couple and I wish we don't have any serious disagreement for now.

I don't think it's the best to share your family issues here on social media. You will get different advices that can harm your marriage. My humble opinon.

Lol!

So nairalanders sabi bible like this?

Pierohandsome:


Think of it, if she told the husband and he refused what do u think will happen? That will be be worst, at that point is either she obeys God and disorganise her home , or disobey God and bear a more serious consequence for her disobedience.

what a load of bull.
if she wanted to do it right she should have told her husband BEFORE she made the vow.
you people need to understand that once you are married you are one person spread over 2 people.some of the secretive things you used to do as a single person must end. thats why a saying says " a family that prays together stays together". coz the two of you are suppossed to be a team.

cerowo:

Very true poco.
Nigeria women/ moms are somehow the head of the family, with all those workload they carries

The day you start treating your family like your workplace, you've given thee devil a free VIP ticket into your marriage. Be careful!

fpeter:



You're VERY WRONG. If you are a pastor or counsellor never ever tell a couple such crap. The Bible commands that the woman must submit to her husband. You think the submission is just physical? The husband is her spiritual head, he is the priest of the home, he should be consulted before such decisions are taken by his wife. Do you know that as a husband, the man can annul his wife's fast or vows if he's not in agreement? God is not an author of confusion, a believer is admonished to marry a fellow believer so even if she feels she's unequally yoked...she MUST submit to the man.

u dnt submit whn it comes to divine instruction. Read that post well, she was divinely instructed to give the priest her whole salary, and u are talking about submission. Should she rather submit to God or man?

What she did is not a fulfulment of vow, but a prompt obedience to divine instruction. Vow and divine instruction are not same. What if the husband refuses aFter telling him?

Thank you all for your advice. Me and my wife appreciate your views. I'm not against seed sowing, I felt I should be informed. I hardly turns down her request and I don't discuss my family affair with neighbors or parents, I just posted it here to get random views. I have gave consent to hard request: She has apologized for not telling me before sowing the seed and I have accepted. No love lost...we wish u a prosperous and a praying year....

AnodaIT:
It's a bad precedent
We must never allow emotional or religious sentiments obstruct clear Bible teachings

In Ephesians 5:23, the Bible clearly states the order of hierarchy : Christ > husband > wife, therefore whatever the Priest who is representing Christ is due, it must be through the husband

Vs 24 explicitly states that wife must be submit to the husband in EVERYTHING

Therefore as a woman, you must understand this when accepting your husband. Be sure that his beliefs are yours cos you must be subject to them

The priest to accept this offer without representation by the husband is wrong. My pastor doesn't collect any gift from a married woman, you must come with your husband and it doesn't matter whether the husband is a member of that particular church or not

Did u listened to ur sef b4 talking rubbish? So somebody cannot give something to a priest or pastor without his/her partner? Is the wife under age? Did d Rev knew about dia arrangements? Mind wat u r saying & try reason maturedly

lawman88:
Happy new year Nairalanders,

My wife is very churchy and spiritual. I love her for that but she told me this morning that the spirit ministered to her to sow something huge to a reverend father, so she carried all her December salary and gave to a reverend father. I asked her why she didn't notify me before she undertook it and she said such instructions should be carried out without anybody's knowledge.

I'm not a catholic member, I'm RCCG. catholic members in the house, is that how your doctrine is? We are young couple and I wish we don't have any serious disagreement for now.

So you allow people to have say over your Marriage life, i pity your future. I'm a RCCG member i love what your wife did. She's not doing it because of anything else but for God to make your family Fruitful & blessed home. Don't put your trust on animals

Reverend fathers are very randy chaps that are almost always in heat like elephant bulls. They know how to spice up the lives of bored and sex starved nigerian housewives.

Pierohandsome:
u dnt submit whn it comes to divine instruction. Read that post well, she was divinely instructed to give the priest her whole salary, and u are talking about submission. Should she rather submit to God or man?

What she did is not a fulfulment of vow, but a prompt obedience to divine instruction. Vow and divine instruction are not same. What if the husband refuses aFter telling him?

I would like to know where you worship. I'd like to understand this new doctrine that seeks to bring division in the home. I am a member of the RCCG and I was thought differently.