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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt (47250 Views)
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Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by berrystunn(m): 1:48am On Jan 05, 2018 |
hammerF6: Yes its community ...thing |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by horsepower101: 1:51am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Statistics show that igbo women on are the most educated women in Nigeria. It really takes lots of resources to raise them from childhood to university level. So the cost of bride price is nothing. The tradition of bride price is basically a test to see if you as the man have the resources to take care of your family. If you cannot even afford bride price, then how can you afford the marriage living expenses. This culture has been there for generations and has forced Igbo men to become very high achievers. That's why you will never see an Igbo man begging on the street corner while an hausa man with 17 children is sitting in the corner begging. 8 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Austyno90(m): 1:52am On Jan 05, 2018 |
hammerF6:COMMUNITY CELEBRATION To me, it all boils down to the family. Who community epp |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Igholize(m): 1:54am On Jan 05, 2018 |
hammerF6:...... Mr Igbo, i am amazed at ur response to my comment.... u just talked like a child of which i bliv u are.... did i say in my comment, dat i have issues with Igbo's? sentiments has made u not to reason well. u sounds so pained child. no b only u b Igbo o. u just dey disgrace Igbo by ur silly response 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by hammerF6: 1:55am On Jan 05, 2018 |
[s] Igholize:[/s] NO, I DONT WANT THAT FAMILIARITY. GO AND GET FAMILIAR WITH THE FULANI 5 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by luminouz(m): 1:56am On Jan 05, 2018 |
tossie101:So u traced her to Facebook just to satisfy ursef that she ain't shiiit? What are u o? Posh or tūsh? U excel in this tribal bullshiit n I wonder how rancid ur thoughts are! Its a new year dear.... Biko change naaa 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by hammerF6: 1:59am On Jan 05, 2018 |
[s] Austyno90:[/s] U ARE BETTER OFF MARRYING FROM YOUR PLACE BECOS, IGBOS BELIEVE 'NO MAN IS AN ISLAND' AND DAT IS Y WE GO TO MEETIINGS UNION, NO MATTER WHERE WE LIVE. WE HAVE OUR OWN WAY OF LIFE THAT IS AS UNIQUE AS OUR LANGUAGE. WE CANNOT CHANGE DAT. 14 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by luminouz(m): 2:00am On Jan 05, 2018 |
tossie101:Dislike? U positively burn with hatred for them!!! N u might end up marrying me..who knows? 5 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Bigsteveg(m): 2:01am On Jan 05, 2018 |
berrystunn:Stop being too nasty about this, are u the father? or are you planning to extort ur own son in law also? Grow up jare |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by luminouz(m): 2:03am On Jan 05, 2018 |
hammerF6:So u are water eh? No wonder ur so unstable! 8 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by nemynely(m): 2:04am On Jan 05, 2018 |
My dear sis, the fault is squarely yours. What definite action did you take when those "lists" were flying right, left and center? Did you stand up for your husband? Did you threaten to put marriage proceedings on hold until "sane" lists were brought forward? This culture that gives certain people who don't know anything about your life's journey the impetus to be headstrong and actively involved when a woman is to be given away in marriage should be jettisoned forthwith. In my opinion, Marriage contracts should be negotiated by parents of the bride and groom alone. This will reduce needless complexities. It goes without saying that due diligence such as background checks etc must have been carried out by both kindred before settling down for the marriage contract itself. My sisters, if you are convinced the man you brought home is the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with, bear his name and children, then stand by him until those greedy uncles back down on their outrageous pre-marriage demands. Why would you spend your honeymoon money on frivolous lists and ceremonies that will be quickly forgotten in as little a space as 2weeks? Why would you descend to smoking garium sulphate, not by choice, but by compulsion after marriage? My two-kobo. 4 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Bigsteveg(m): 2:04am On Jan 05, 2018 |
tossie101:The question is are u in love with yourself? Nobody can make anybody do anything, they just bring out what is in u. are u also a money making machine for ur family? 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Bigsteveg(m): 2:06am On Jan 05, 2018 |
tossie101:So u went to fb and started looking for a girl saying her mind? What do u do on a daily basis? 11 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Bigsteveg(m): 2:12am On Jan 05, 2018 |
horsepower101:You totally made alot of sense and i commend you for the way you put your response, it shows clearly how matured u are. However i clearly disagree with you, no matter the tribe or religion, taking care of our kids is the number 1 priority, that is why God gave them to us. Also, bride price is not a true test of a man ability in taking care of a woman. What if he turns a woman beater? This tradition needs to be addressed, the son in law is already a family and like a son to them, no need to extort him. And also, nobody can ever recoup the money spent of a child, you cant. so its baseless trying to collect school fees money from the bride price. What happened to the male child, how is he supposed to pay his own school fees money back? 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by safarigirl(f): 2:15am On Jan 05, 2018 |
desreek9:thank you! The sheer disrespect and lack of tact, that is my grouse here. The message has been lost in its delivery 1 Like |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by ICEMAN(m): 2:17am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Be quiet! Smally that doesn't know anything!Shaaaraaappppp! |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Nobody: 2:17am On Jan 05, 2018 |
horsepower101: Now that you say this, it just occurred to me that I have never come across one. 1 Like |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Ekealterego: 2:24am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Bigsteveg:Do you know that Igbo men will also go out of their family to observe the same traditions when they marry from another Igbo family? No one is extorting from you. People within the ethnic group know how to negotiate things down and make compromises. Igbo men who marry within the tribe do not have a problem with the culture why then are people outside the ethnic group fighting to change the culture? Its like a rite of passage and very important to us, if you are from outside the ethnic group and not okay with this, you can equally go for the other pretty women outside the ethnic group but we can't change our culture to satisfy you when the Igbo men have observed this rite for centuries. I'm sorry if you have an eye on one of our sisters, its best you go with an elderly friend an Igbo man will be better. In most cases, its the community rites and ceremony that shoot the price up and not the immediate family and you don't even need a white wedding or any other wedding to be recognized as a son-in-law. 3 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by horsepower101: 2:25am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Bigsteveg: There was a thread on Nairaland years ago where Yoruba women married to igbo men all confirmed the same thing. They all said that Igbo husbands know how to take care of their wives and family. They will go extra mile to make sure that their family is comfortable. Also one thing in that thread that yoruba men won over Igbo men was in being romantic. Yoruba men in general were more romantic but Igbo men took very good care of their family needs. It is ingrained in our Igbo culture. 4 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by naijaking1: 2:38am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Another Igbo bashing thread makes the front page so fast. NL , were watching. 3 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by notoriousbabe: 2:48am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Igbo kwenu |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by onyeawka80(m): 2:51am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Yungkid101:My dear, I guess u from Imo state? It is perculiar to Imo state, but rarely seen In Anambra state, trust me. Its really weird. 1 Like |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by macof(m): 2:52am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Yungkid101:Culture is Culture, If the man cannot pay Igbo bride price he is not ready to marry Igbo woman. He could have told the woman to wait for him while he hustles for money to be able to afford her bride-price plus negotiate with her father or he moves on. When the father sees that he doesn't come back he would reduce the price 3 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by onyeawka80(m): 2:57am On Jan 05, 2018 |
dumo1:pls u are very correct. It is perculiar to imo state. So sad. |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by IdeyFindWife: 3:07am On Jan 05, 2018 |
idu1: Explains the plight of so many in Abuja too. I don't see the reason for people getting all worked up and being so guarded with upholding archaic norms and way-outta-line ethno-religious customs that border on ruining the lives and happiness' of the coming generation while claiming to be advancing. A lot appear stranded because they can't take home those who sincerely love them but couldn't afford the price tag so after years of living together, they part ways or some do the unthinkable of having kids outta wedlock etc. It's just pathetic that some people still gloat over oppressive bridal prices when State Governments are working on doing away with such customs. macof: Sir, would it really be right to sacrifice your daughter's future happiness to ""Culture"? What is culture? Must it be a static entity or an ever-evolving one changing for the service, guidance and betterment of humanity? Where does that put us in the commonwealth of nations? For a people, largely claiming to be christians and christlike, hoping to be accepted into Paradise one day after we close our eyes in death; where does this put us? As parishioners, our priests and pastors teach us the Holy Scriptures, the Blessed Injunctions of our Infallible Maker, but we depart the Sanctuary of Christ after partaking of the Blessed Sacraments to willfully go back into perpetrating the various personal, inherited and societal ills that we are supposed to expunge from our nature and character?! The Holy Book warns us that even the law of God was made for man's benefit, not that man was made for the sole observance of laws Matt2:27). We are commanded not to uphold or teach as law the "traditions of men" above the laws of God (Matt 7:13; Col 2: or to even reject the laws of God because of the traditions of men (Matt 7:8-9). I say this because most of this marriages are not only observed in the traditional ceremonies but also often solemnized in church as the final blessing. So the question is this, why bring something to the house of God for validation having built it on a foundation solely of self and flesh? You may not answer but let's ponder pls. 10 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by tossie101(f): 3:29am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Bigsteveg: Nothing 2 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by olawonder(m): 3:30am On Jan 05, 2018 |
I noticed on any forum, when someone expresses their feelings the best thing ppl do is rain insults! Why now? The lady hoped ppl would bring up a positive debate and so that at least, she can find some form of consolation. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by tossie101(f): 3:30am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Bigsteveg: Yep 2 Likes |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by ImperialYoruba: 3:40am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Rant has been archived. |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by macof(m): 3:41am On Jan 05, 2018 |
IdeyFindWife: Sir, I am a traditionalist not a christian. priests, parishioners and all that means nothing before the ethnic identity of a people, it is their pride, the source of their Nationalism and Patriotism, without this you cannot have true development and peace amongst one another . it might be selfishness for some hypocrites (especially Christians who do not follow or defend culture when it matters), but the true purpose of any cultural practice of this scale goes beyond personal gains, they have stuck for the social and moral benefit of the society. |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by Shanana1(m): 3:50am On Jan 05, 2018 |
safarigirl:Madam take it easy na, why call her husby unfortunate? |
Re: Lady Calls Out Igbo Father For Putting Her Husband In Debt by nobaga: 4:19am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Well, the same goes for all expensive weddings. It is really unwise. Tradition must be modified to pressing modern needs. Nobody can collect all the investments they make on any child and certainly not on daughters. Igbo parents raise dowry not only on non-Igbo but on Diaspora Igbo. Many Yoruba and non-Yoruba spend so much on weddings, they have little food left the following morning. It has led to killing of their daughters when the husbands regret their investment on those that turn their daughters into slaves and cash cow in the market. This lady's warning should be taken seriously by all. As for those crying that their women should be left alone, it's too late. The train has left the station. Women have come a long way baby. 2 Likes |
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