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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (68630 Views)
Marriage Has Failed Me! / My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! / I Just Ended My Marriage! Single Mum I Married Still Contacts Her Ex Regularly (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Fourwinds: 8:56pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Chubhie:"10000 dollars would have save this marriage " this must be a female talking.. tell me why can't she work for a while and raise part of the money.... I feel like slapping your mouth because some of you will be so lazy to source for money but you want to heap monstrous burden on your husbands. some of you have no heart at all ... do you think paying back debt is an easy task ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by EngrWanted: 8:57pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
kunleajaye: The state you're right now, you're on self denial mood. You'll blame yourself for everything,cook up excuses for her, then go into depression afterward with sobbing. In few months from now, sanity will creep into you to think logically. An ex of mine took her husband over a 500km distance journey to pay me a visit and see how she was falling over me in the presence of her hubby and I felt pity for the guy. Mind you she has divorced her first husband she left me for cos the man understood quickly she never loved him. This is more than 7 years we separated and guess what, we chatted on WhatsApp just now cos she's holidaying in the USA as I type. Now imagine what present hubby will be passing through emotionally just like you. As I Christian I know my boundary and will never do anything to interfere in her marriages but could she stop communicating with me, No. As long as I live, she'll always feel that affection and attraction. I deflowered her anyway. That's your wife situation. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by fof1: 9:00pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
kunleajaye:. DO TAKE TIME TO COME HOME AND SETTLE D ISSUES FINALLY B4 ITS TOO LATE FOR U ALL. WE ARE AFRICANS, OUR PARENTS ARE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES. OBEY GOD'S COMMAND. DON'T FOLLOW OYIBO BEHAVIOR TO SPOIL URSELVES AND UR MARRIAGE. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Fourwinds: 9:04pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Chubhie: by baby124 : Leave her and let her be. She probably married really young and she needs to discover herself and why she wants to stay married. A temporary separation is fine. Just make sure your mum has access to visiting and spending time with your kids. With time, she will either work towards the marriage or tell you she wants a divorce. I think she wants to pursue her own dreams and America is not the place for her. Believe it or not, abroad is not for everyone. I like that you stood against the loan as you could not afford to pay it. That is the attributes of a responsible man financially. But you are very reckless sexually, MouthAction could cause STDs. So you have put your wife and children in danger. A stripper for that matter, what were you thinking? The way you described it with so much pleasure is extremely disturbing. You need to do better and respect yourself. Her own head is still filled with big dreams of what she can do. She knows she is intelligent, so she refused to settle for a regular job. To be honest the Nigerian fashion industry is doing well. So she may be well positioned in Nigeria for the business she wants to do. this is a responsible girl's comment 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by BigBashiru: 9:10pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Fourwinds:Exactly!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Nobody: 9:11pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Kei144:True talk....If u think your girlfriend is giving u headache, just wait till u marry her and if u think dating is difficult, wait till u get married... 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by jbhitler(m): 9:12pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Ladyhippolyta88:my brother,we are in very tight corner,if we men fail to learn other tactics,i tell you,women will take over leadership from us and that is a coup! my brother dont mind me,i hate polygamy but i beg, can you profer solution to this women problem? where can a man find a loyal woman? education and gender equality is making them mad! maybe ehn,we need to visit farms regularly now,i perceive that is where we can find good wives for now. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by sauceEEP(m): 9:14pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
You had 69 with a stripper, seriously ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by id4sho(m): 9:18pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
-I don’t find my wife attractive anymore. -I seem to have lost some of the affection I had in the past for my wife -I don’t see the beautiful girl I married during the first few years of my marriage -My wife first of all started out by purchasing and sending baby clothes and other stuff home to Nigeria, but with the “receive today, pay tomorrow” attitude of people at home, coupled with the whole decline of the naira, the business has literally been ruined with so many bills to pay( family economy really facing recession) -I want to believe it’s the stress of work, school, and the many thoughts going through our minds that is causing all this, but I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I don’t love my wife anymore. -She wanted to set up a store where she'd import and sell african prints. There were days during the summer when I'd plan on doing Uber to supplement the little I brought in as a paycheck, only for her to tell me she'd registered for one event or another to display her wares. -Our sex life became virtually non-existent.(marriage killer) -I guess my wife suspected something was going on cos she asked me one day if i had been seeing anyone.(affair with the stripper) -They left two days after Christmas. To date I'm yet to receive a call from her. I've sent her several emails but she hasn't responded to even one( I guess she is scared of STDs and fear for her life) OP ,I TOOK SOME POINTS FROM YOUR TWO POST AND I KNOW TIMES ARE TOUGH FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY (you don't care, financially wise and it shows your wife is concerned and it affected your love life ) I know how a man feels when finances are not forthcoming and she feels she can support the family . i don't see AWWAL as a threat ,she said so to make you jealous . i believe she came back to Nigeria for you to miss her. Don't allow her to stay too long almost 3 months without professing your love for her and send your brothers and friends here in Nigeria to beg and talk to her. lastly BEAUTY FADES (pretty face and hips) BUT TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by mystikal(m): 9:18pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I know your wife and she might be reading this |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by MARKone(m): 9:20pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
The furthest we went was the time we had a 69 on her bed, and she came all over my face while I splooged her mouth. I always had to wipe myself off properly and take a shower once I got home to rid of all the oil and smell of pheromones on my person. Guy you no dey tell us about ur wife wahala again o ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Nobody: 9:21pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
sauceEEP:.. Off all the girls roaming about in his neighbourhood... Op@ please see the Movie; The blue-eyed butcher...it's based on an event in the US |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by otodeluxe(m): 9:26pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
masterchi: I concur. Please fight for it. Don't let it hit the rock just like that. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by jbhitler(m): 9:27pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Ladyhippolyta88:haha,i am sorry for addressing you as a male.but seriously,i have fasted and prayed for a good wife and yet could not find anyone,making things worst,the testimonies from married men are hopless than my situation.my sister,dont you think we should try the fishing camps,farms,palmwine camps,ranches and even fulani camps for wives? there women face their husbands businesses and not theirs.abeg no personalise am abeg,na bad wife na im make person dey crase for nairaland so but good ones dey sha but where them dey? show me the road,i swear i go find am go.i am ready.i need a wife!!!! |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by eagleonearth(m): 9:29pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Marriage is an institution ordained by God and kept for "men and women". Devil who is always against anything instituted by God always attack it. You went wrong when you started seeing another woman. The Devil got you right there. At that point, God took his leave. You are now alone and that stripper will soon taste bitter in your mouth cos there's nothing like family after God. Go before Jesus sincerely and ask him to help you. He always give people another chance though some damages might never be undone in your marriage because sin is a destroyer. Take hold of this opportunity to get closer to your maker and watch him lead you back into the arms of the people you cherish. Do this and thank me later. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:36pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
jbhitler:I believe in gender equality(equal rights and opportunities)and I am not mad.Which farms and I don't believe leadership is meant for gender just prove yourself and you will get it.About the wives just look for a lady that shares some of your view on things and whom you feel you are compatible with. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Olulinks(m): 9:39pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
kunleajaye:"At times i wish we hadn't come to the United States..." This is what I have been waiting for! Go and son no more, you've just spotted your error. Don't go look for trouble abeg. Let her be. I won't say it again. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by kunleajaye: 9:40pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
gonea02, luminouz and Oyindidi, could you kindly resend the PM requests? |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by saajus: 9:45pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
What is your present status in America. Are you still on F1 student VISA? If you are,what's your initial plan for settling in America? Stop seeing the stripper,find a way to talk to your wife,talk to your children. Western culture brings lot of stress and pressure. Many Nigerian families in Western world are passing through similar experience or even tougher. Are you not hearing of husband's killing their wives in America? Your case is not the worse. . kunleajaye: 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Oyindidi(f): 9:45pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
kunleajaye:Done |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:46pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
jbhitler:If you like fast and pray if you are not ready to act on yourself and make a decision on the type of woman you want you would remain single.And marriage failure is not caused by ladies alone,to me if a marriage fail both of them failed and if it succeeds they both succeed it is not tied to one gender.Who is the "we"oya go to the idp camps or any of the camps goodluck on your search but as for me I know what I want which is a partner,bestfriend and a companion I want an egalitarian relationship and dem nor dey for camp.As for me I am facing my on business and not another persons business. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by shedy03(m): 9:53pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I like her hustling spirit o, but dislike her stubbornness. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Nobody: 9:53pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
issues like this are the reasons i don't fancy over-intelligent ladies. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by jbhitler(m): 10:10pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Ladyhippolyta88:wait a minute,i must confess,you are begining to interest me.can i know you better? joke apart please.remember this is january. |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Andyskipo(m): 10:13pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
marriage dey fear me.I can't imagine myself this unhappy 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by CanadianEnginee(m): 10:23pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
Nutase: Those strippers have more morals than most naija girls. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Mccullum: 10:29pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I don't believe your marriage is over, if truely you want to rebuild your union, just find a suitable time to travel back home and involve both families to engage in reconciliation talks and let her know that you have realized your mistakes by promising her to support her dreams of becoming entrepreneur while you'll continue to talk with your children... Try it... you'll laugh at last because your children are your futuristic joys 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Mrflyguy: 10:31pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
SIaye:Don't mind this guy o . |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by stinkmeaner: 10:31pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
No jokes but walai I don read this story before |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by Aquariann: 10:39pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I find the comments of most females here distasteful. They're all blaming the man for turning to another woman forgetting his wife has been denying him sex for eons. To my second point, let's flip the script ladies. You're in the heat of an argument with your husband (not boyfriend or fiance please), and he tells you to your face he regretted choosing you over some other girl he was romantically involved with at a point. Yes, the OPs wife told him to his face that (after five years of being married to her) she still prefered the other guy. She crossed the line at this point and NO MAN, worth his name will take this insult. And yes, it was after she not just rejected him in the bedroom, but also voiced her rejection to his face that he was pushed to the other lady. Personally, I'll never have an erectïon for such a woman again, because I'll just find it hard to get it out of my head that she's just giving me a pity fvck. Perhaps untill y'all understand the importance of sex (to a man) in marriage, y'all shouldn't get married. 9 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by cimag: 10:39pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I'm curious why she left USA and relocated to Nigeria with the present harsh economic situation of the country.Is Awwal in Nigeria and yet to marry?If Awwal is still unmarried,her heart is still fixated on him and she may have relocated to Nigeria for them to seal their love.You should come down to Nigeria for the both families to intervene in the matter with a view to settling it,but if she insists that the marriage is over,then fight for the possession of your children.I don't support the idea of her keeping the children while you send money periodically for their upkeep.If she truely loves her children and considers the consequencies of divorce on them,she may change her mind and return to you.But,for people to suggest that you send money to her periodically for children's upkeep while Awwal "samples' her here in Nigeria is not acceptable to me.Come home first and let her open up,from there you may have a clue of what really bothers her.Lastly,stop going to the whores for sexual satisfaction.Gudluck! 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Ended by imconfused(f): 10:42pm On Jan 05, 2018 |
I think one of the reasons for frustration in this marriage is that the OP brought in naija style of marriage,the type where duties are relegated to woman type and man type. Op you both failed to work together and support each other.You mentioned something about the children going hungry and I want to ask if you are handicapped?So you were busy marking time and waiting for hunger to finish your children because it's your wife's job to feed them? Both of you should have been able to work with and round each other.If She's in school ,you deal with home stuff,if you are in school she does home stuff.This is the only way to survive abroad especially for a couple who are still finding their feet. You both can choose one thing after another esp with her own ambition..na turn by turn till you stabilise.A happy loving home situation with calm discussions would have taken care of this.After all,you love each other. Its easy to see how she became cold towards you.Stress and thinking de kill am.She left Naija not really knowing what America is.You sef hustling and school stress would make things more tense at home.All you both need is understanding & working side by side.You must drop all your preconceived notions about marriage and forge your own style. Its veey disappointing that at the smallest hint of trouble you went to a stripper and worst of all you were doing 69..no hiv test,you don't know if she has herpes,you carried your wide mouth and chooked inside stripper Kini.. Your wife was wrong ,very very wrong for the words she said,it was below the belt.Please forget Awaan,she CHOSE you,she CHOSE to be with you.People hurt each other and say horrible things sometimes when arguing especially as a semi newly married couple.She tried to atone by offering herself to you and she was humiliated by your rejection/ lack of erection.. She really had no choice but to leave and have some space. This marriage is very young & can be salvaged.Its not too late.The time apart can help you both re evaluate & decide to help each other out.Ambition when supported within reason can yield massive fruits Go and save your marriage,kpatakpata wear red pant..Good luck 1 Like |
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