Ladyhippolyta88:
Good for you if you injure the child say you are an expert.And don't bring that statement of this is Africa because it is only when we want to do negative things that we are quick to use those words.

What is the above, abeg stop that. You really think you are talking to a dumb?

This is Nigeria and we must be Nigerians and nothing.

I am sure I will flog my kids when they do certain things.

mrphysics:


What is the above, abeg stop that. You really think you are talking to a dumb?

This is Nigeria and we must be Nigerians and nothing.

I am sure I will flog my kids when they do certain things.

Nor be lie I talk "this is Nigeria" let the world know your country for great things, and you can flog them if you like they are your kids.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Good for you if you injure the child say you are an expert.And don't bring that statement of this is Africa because it is only when we want to do negative things that we are quick to use those words.

I can't injure my child because I know the way and manner to flog. I have been flogged without injury and I have beating people without a single scar on their body. It did not start today ooo. I was a boarder all through secondary school days.

I am an expert when it comes to flogging. I can use my hands very well and cane too. I know when and how to do it though I don't have the mind to do it to other people's children.

mrphysics:

I can't injure my child because I know the way and manner to flog. I have been flogged without injury and I have beating people without a single scar on their body. It did not start today ooo. I was a boarder all through secondary school days.

I am an expert when it comes to flogging. I can use my hands very well and cane too. I know when and how to do it though I don't have the mind to do it to other people's children.

Clap for yourself sir you would make a good daddy.Good for you.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Nor be lie I talk this is Nigeria let the world know your country for great things, and you can flog them if you like they are your kids.

Now you come. My kids, my beating.

But it's not always. And for the ladies, there are places you don't beat them. I am a professional when it comes to beating .

Secondly, it is not good to flog someone with belt, cultlass and the rest. Only use cane and use it effectively

Ladyhippolyta88:
Clap for yourself sir you would make a good daddy.Good for you.

No be only clap but sing for myself.

The point is, I have stayed with kids, the ones that they don't flog and the ones that gets flogged. How many Nigerians know how to raise disciplined children without flogging?
If you must not beat them, then you must be equipped with the right disciplinary actions to help in managing their excesses. In fact, my wife must know how to us her hands in bringing those children to their right senses when they misbehave. Every other things from anyone isn't necessary.

I don't support flogging there are other forms of punishment and I agree with you when you said there is need for other disciplinary actions,they are children nothing a little talk and some other forms of disciplinary actions cannot do for a child they can easily be corrected.You can flog them they are your kids and never forget to build the best relationship with them.

mrphysics:



No be only clap but sing for myself.

The point is, I have stayed with kids, the ones that they don't flog and the ones that gets flogged. How many Nigerians know how to raise disciplined children without flogging?
If you must not beat them, then you must be equipped with the right disciplinary actions to help in managing their excesses. In fact, my wife must know how to us her hands in bringing those children to their right senses when they misbehave. Every other things from anyone isn't necessary.

mrphysics:


Now you come. My kids, my beating.

But it's not always. And for the ladies, there are places you don't beat them. I am a professional when it comes to beating .

Secondly, it is not good to flog someone with belt, cultlass and the rest. Only use cane and use it effectively

Yes sir.

Ladyhippolyta88:
I don't support flogging there are other forms of punishment and I agree with you when you said there is need for other disciplinary actions,they are children nothing a little talk and some other forms of disciplinary actions cannot do for a child they can easily be corrected.You can flog them they are your kids and never forget to build the best relationship with them.

Sure. Building relationships with them is very necessary and the best. Kids don't have the mental maturity to understand some deep things about their actions. Until they are 18 and take responsibility of everything they do, they are liable to be flogged or cautioned.

Like I said, you can't exempt flogging by thinking talks alone can change anything.

mrphysics:

Sure. Building relationships with them is very necessary and the best. Kids don't have the mental maturity to understand some deep things about their actions. Until they are 18 and take responsibility of everything they do, they are liable to be flogged or cautioned.

Like I said, you can't exempt flogging by thinking talks alone can change anything.

Other forms of disciplinary actions exist e.g. Pick pin,sit on the air they were effective to me more than flogging.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Other forms of disciplinary actions exist e.g. Pick pin,sit on the air they were effective to me more than flogging.

Children will play with these things.

Ladyhippolyta88:
I was lucky my own cleared the scar took time to heal,I hated my dad especially but I love them all the same it has been long since I received beating.I understand their reasons for the discipline but to me it didn't make much impact it was the words they told me that even made me cry and try to get better my mom is good in that aspect but the Cain just hardened my heart.

words dont make me cry but wen i remember how i was beaten i will start crying & saying dat they are not my biological parents,it was so funny but it was to make me a better person,they really tried in training me o

Preetiex:
words dont make me cry but wen i remember how i was beaten i will start crying & saying dat they are not my biological parents,it was so funny but it was to make me a better person,they really tried in training me o

Even my own parents tried.

SilverChinedu:
Millions of people use belt to flog their children. You concede that is wrong

Its completely wrong

it may not be the best, but it is effective...

Ladyhippolyta88:
You just said the truth.

As always.

There are better ways

if you spare the rod, you spoil the child....it is good for a while when your child misbehave or do something wrong yoh smack him or her.this will instil fear and discipline in them....I was smack when I was a kid by my parents and it nelp me realise the good and evil in every situation and why doing the best thing at the right time pays.....

BlueNnamdi:
You are against the use of cain?

Yes.

There are better ways

I dunno about beating children

mrphysics:

No one uses belt to flog a child. Such person is abusing the Child. How can you flog a kid with belt and a lady for that. There are things you don't do to a certain people.

Depending on the age of the child, once a kid is up to a particular age, anything beating you did to the child can leave a bad memory on him.


Me, I must flog them when they mess up ooo. All these stories nah rubbish.

DejiSantos:
Young Nigerians discuss smacking and what effect it had on them and whether there are more effective ways of discipline.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSFEeqZH8VA

beating should be a last resort after other forms of mental punishment

Agreed

MIKOLOWISKA:
beating should be a last resort after other forms of mental punishment

I think a lot of parents want to flog and beat their child as a retaliation for how their own parents treated them. It's a subconscious Spiral. Those of us that went to boarding school will attest to the fact that one of the reasons we all looked forward to becoming seniors was so that we can punish and deal with junior students and give them the same treatment we got as juniors. If a child is stubborn or naughty it's a reflection of the parents parenting attitude. Most parents are lazy and go ahead to heap tasks that are beyond the child and expect them to perform wonders. Most parents heap insults on the child without minding the effects on his or her self esteem. it's no wonder a lot of children can't wait to leave home.

I think you have a very good point here

addictiv:
I think a lot of parents want to flog and beat their child as a retaliation for how their own parents treated them. It's a subconscious Spiral. Those of us that went to boarding school will attest to the fact that one of the reasons we all looked forward to becoming seniors was so that we can punish and deal with junior students and give them the same treatment we got as juniors. If a child is stubborn or naughty it's a reflection of the parents parenting attitude. Most parents are lazy and go ahead to heap tasks that are beyond the child and expect them to perform wonders. Most parents heap insults on the child without minding the effects on his or her self esteem. it's no wonder a lot of children can't wait to leave home.

When done right, spanking is beneficial to a child's upbringing, and I say this from experience. If patents know what they are doing, the need to spank a child is almost non-existent.

The first form of discipline a child should have is example because humans, children more so, learn through observation. So, your child has learnt to do certain things because they've observed you do them or observed someone else do them. In this case, you should discontinue behaviour you don't want to see from your children or remove them from the influence of people who they copy. It is really foolish, and abusive, to repeat a behaviour and expect that your own children will stop. Beating them for not stopping only shows you to be a mentally unstable parent.

Secondly, you must learn to speak firmly with them, no stupid shouting like an uneducated market woman. Deepen your voice, look them straight in the eye and ask them to stop. Simple. Will they stop? Actually, most times they will. This is a good time to explain what you don't want them doing and why. Treat the children like they have a brain and can actually understand words, because thats the reality. Of course, this doesn't always work but done right, it will save you the need to spank them by, at least, 90% and you still get to pass the message across.

Thirdly, raise your voice. Something along the lines of "hey, I already told you not to do that", "what is wrong with you, etc". What this does is jolt them and actually bring their attention to what you're saying because talking sometimes just flies over their head and they get used to it pretty quickly. So, give them a menacing look and raise your voice. This drastically reduces the need for spanking.

Fourthly, spank. One hard smack to the bum. This is a proper hard reset. No continuous flogging like a crazed loon, your child hasn't been sentenced by a Sharia court. . Depending on the age of the child, the smack should be sufficient to induce sleep after proper crying. Also, depending on the age of said child, smacking can be increased to about three or four. Never smack a child out of anger. Never. That is the pathway to abuse. The idea is to send the message that "I would normally not do this but since you have chosen to repeat this behaviour, I have no choice but to regster my displeasure and non-tolerance."

Also, you can set them on chores to do around the house. Something you know is beyond their abilities to do like making sure there is no single speck of dust in the house which is an impossibility. The idea is to just humble them by making them feel helpless and incompetent.

Worthy of note is the fact that you must placate them for each level of discipline. They say, "when you discipline a child with the left hand, you console them with the right". The idea is to let them know they brought it upon themselves and you'd rather not punish them but they forced your hand. This lets them know discipline is nin-negotuabke no matter how much you love them, actions have consequences.

By the time you need to start using canes and such on a child, you've already failed as a parent. Discipline is a progressive instrument that is required daily.