BaBysmaMa:
I'm unmarried and I recently discovered that I'm pregnant. I've always been careful but I guess contraceptives aren't always 100%. The thing is, I am embarrassed. I work with little children. What kind of example am I setting for them? I was thinking of quitting my job when I begin to show. I've got some money saved. I'll go back to work in a different school after the child is born. The child's father is out of the question. You get to know people's character when you're faced with a challenge. I need advice. Should I quit my job or not?

P.S. No insults please... I just need advice.

Bad idea. With a small kid it will not be as easy to get a new job that will understand you need to rush home to breast feed or the baby needs this and that. You're better off there.

And you can't deplete your savings. You need alot of money for a small baby and you can't risk living without savings in case of unplanned emergencies

Ishilove:

Hire somebody to pose as your husband, take photos of your 'traditional wedding', and then when you start showing, he travels to Libya and dies while crossing.

End of story.

Oh mehn....

Muafrika2:


Bad idea. With a small kid it will not be as easy to get a new job that will understand you need to rush home to breast feed or the baby needs this and that. You're better off there.

And you can't deplete your savings. You need alot of money for a small baby and you can't risk living without savings in case of unplanned emergencies

The ring suggestion was in my head all night. I'll go job searching on Friday and when I get a new job, I'm going in with a ring. If that doesn't work out, I'll just stick to my job and get the ring anyways. Thanks to you all for the advice.

Don’t quit your job. Do I hear me. Don’t dont don’t.
It’s not easy carrying pregnancy not to talk of staying 9 months idle with no emotional support from d father. Pls u need the job. Taking care of a child not easy. Don’t forget that even the first six months ur breast feeding u can’t have time to get a job.but the can give u paid maternity leave in your present job. If u not showing yet. Get a ring and wear n say u did a little court wedding. Family n friends. Any body counting months for you how do the know if it’s not premature. Pls stay at the work. Side talks don’t kill. Hunger does. U need every money unless ur parents r super rich n supportive.

Get an abortion.
End of story.

BaBysmaMa:
The ring suggestion was in my head all night. I'll go job searching on Friday and when I get a new job, I'm going in with a ring. If that doesn't work out, I'll just stick to my job and get the ring anyways. Thanks to you all for the advice.

Sounds better. Never leave a job unless you are leaving it for another one,

Look at Your experience as a lesson your students can learn from.

BaBysmaMa:
I'd really appreciate if you don't refer to my child as a bastard. I find that word offensive. The proprietress is a very nice woman but it's my pupils I'm worried about. They're very observant. There's this colleague that likes me. One day they were like, Miss.... we'll get you a wedding dress so you and Mr... can get married. I don't want to show them that it's okay to have a child when you're not married. If I was working somewhere else I wouldn't even bother asking this question.

The pikin na bastard simple

edoman2016:

The school proprietor could be right to sack her for getting pregnant out of wedlock. A teacher is expected to be a role model to pupils. I can not allow my children to be taught by a teacher that got pregnant out of wedlock because it is a bad example of morality. A child born out of wedlock is a bastard.

Such a foolish opinion.

You said the man is out of the picture (1 bad thing)
You want to leave your job (2 bad thing)
Plus recession...
Dont allow many bad things happen at the same time.. hold on to your job cos you will think so much if you stay at home without a job

oyb:
Get an abortion.
End of story.

Why do you think an abortion is the way forward?

BaBysmaMa:
The ring suggestion was in my head all night. I'll go job searching on Friday and when I get a new job, I'm going in with a ring. If that doesn't work out, I'll just stick to my job and get the ring anyways. Thanks to you all for the advice.

Good one. Your baby will come and make all this your wahala worth it. Congrats in advance. Leave all em hypocrites naming your kid already. They are just as worse! Sometimes I laugh when I read comments from some people I already got insights into their affairs...holibullsheets they are. Whew! Remain brave.

Ishilove:

Why do you think an abortion is the way forward?

At this stage in her life she does not have the resources to raise a child. A 9 month pregnancy is actually just the very beginning. Raising a child without any support system (husband, boyfriend, family) is very very difficult. Add money into the mix and it is damn near impossible.

Of course, I am thinking from a quality of life perspective.

Does op have a very good job?
Does she have savings?
Does she have a relative who can take care of the baby?
Does she have health insurance?

Unless she wants to take the 'God will make a way' route

Raising a child is a very very big responsibility.

Please don't resign O.P. Abeg.

Just go along with the engagement ring suggestion.

And try to get someone from your family to help you at home, especially in the third trimester and after the baby comes.

Everything will be okay. Hugs

enemmo:
Please don't resign O.P. Abeg.

Just go along with the engagement ring suggestion.

And try to get someone from your family to help you at home, especially in the third trimester and after the baby comes.

Everything will be okay. Hugs

And when it's time to declare on documents? There are all sorts of office paperwork you will fill out, which will pass through these same coworkers.

oyb:


And when it's time to declare on documents? There are all sorts of office paperwork you will fill out, which will pass through these same coworkers.

It depends on the official structure.

When I got married, I didn't change my name and status until about 3 years later. I was even able to register my kids for health management.I did that without any formal change of name.

enemmo:


It depends on the official structure.

When I got married, I didn't change my name and status until about 3 years later. I was even able to register my kids for health management.I did that without any formal change of name.

This is not about name. You fill documents eg tax clearance, or health insurance where you enter your marital status. You pursue passport, voter registration, driver's licence, etc. You often go through your office to do these things. The lie will become very difficult to manage, and a boss who dislikes you can make it an integrity issue.

All of you people naming her child bastard are plain stupid and Yes no apology.
She needs advice and not coming to rub it in face that she's having a baby outta wedlock.
If you have ever had sex without being married then you have no moral right to tell her any nonsense. Hypocrites everywhere.

The person who said those calling the lady's child a bastard are 'stupid' is suffering from the effects of sub zero intellect. When you call a spade by what it truly is, these 21st century village idiots with access to internet technology get defensive and start typing the first gibberish that plays through their hydrocephalic heads.

mankettle:
Get a ring Babe. Times are hard. Worse case, the guy has travelled to Ivory coast to hustle. A few months later just before d baby is born, go into mourning for a few days

Badt Sharp Guy

edoman2016:

The school proprietor could be right to sack her for getting pregnant out of wedlock. A teacher is expected to be a role model to pupils. I can not allow my children to be taught by a teacher that got pregnant out of wedlock because it is a bad example of morality. A child born out of wedlock is a bastard.

I've never heard this kind of talk in my life.
Shebi it is because the teacher got pregnant? How about the others who don't take in? Does that make them morally justified to teach your kids?

A child born out of wedlock may be a bastard but that's a disapproving thing to say.

Ishilove:
The person who said those calling the lady's child a bastard are 'stupid' is suffering from the effects of sub zero intellect. When you call a spade by what it truly is, these 21st century village idiots with access to internet technology get defensive and start typing the first gibberish that plays through their hydrocephalic heads.

Thank you for your comment. This generation don't want to hear the truth. When you say the truth, you are seen as old-fashioned.

amicable09:


I've never heard this kind of talk in my life.
Shebi it is because the teacher got pregnant? How about the others who don't take in? Does that make them morally justified to teach your kids?

A child born out of wedlock may be a bastard but that's a disapproving thing to say.

Dont mind them oo. Even the ones that are having sex but have managed to not get pregnant think they have any moral right to talk trash... Shebi it's because this one got pregnant.

Coming to give us a dictionary definition of Bastard like we don't already know the meaning.... I repeat, you people are plain stupid for calling the child a Bastard....

edoman2016:

Thank you for your comment. This generation don't want to hear the truth. When you say the truth, you are seen as old-fashioned.

Old fashioned and 'stupid'. They are even hyperventilating because we are naming a spade a spade, calling themselves and their entire lineage names.

Hopeless generation.

lovethchioma:
Dont mind them oo. Even the ones that are having sex but have managed to not get pregnant think they have any moral right to talk trash... Shebi it's because this one got pregnant.

Coming to give us a dictionary definition of Bastard like we don't already know the meaning.... I repeat, you people are plain stupid for calling the child a Bastard....

Lol. You know what the 11th commandment says?
"Thou shalt not be caught"
I learnt it from my seniors.

All the people who feel they are better than this lady because she got pregnant and them with all their bedmatics haven't, speak as if we don't know how pregnancy enters. It's only a matter of time before we see the result.

Calling a poor child/foetus that hasn't even been born yet a bastard is the height of insensitivity. Even the so called dictionary states clearly that the use of that word should be informal.

Bad mouthed people everywhere.

Ishilove:

Old fashioned and 'stupid'. They are even hyperventilating because we are naming a spade a spade, calling themselves and their entire lineage names.

Hopeless generation.

Well, you're right.

But in the spirit of brotherhood, let us respect Op's sensibility. Yes, a mistake has been made and the best we can do now for her is to be nice or at least pretend to be.

Of course, a spade is a spade. But don't forget, some things are better left unsaid.

Splinz:


Well, you're right.

But in the spirit of brotherhood, let us respect Op's sensibility. Yes, a mistake has been made and the best we can do now for her is to be nice or at least pretend to be.

Of course, a spade is a spade. But don't forget, some things are better left unsaid.

You are right. We are being insensitive.

Problem is I am not much of a pretender but I will try to put it on a leash

Ishilove:
The person who said those calling the lady's child a bastard are 'stupid' is suffering from the effects of sub zero intellect. When you call a spade by what it truly is, these 21st century village idiots with access to internet technology get defensive and start typing the first gibberish that plays through their hydrocephalic heads.

There is something called tact and empathy which has been around since the beginning of time.

I do not consider this thread to be the time or place for nasty words or English lessons.

Some of us have been luckier in our choices with partners than others. It could easily be any of us on this thread.

Let us focus on the actual issue.

Ishilove:

You are right. We are being insensitive.

Problem is I am not much of a pretender but I will try to put it on a leash

Mbok try.

oyb:


There is something called tact and empathy which has been around since the beginning of time.

I do not consider this thread to be the time or place for nasty words or English lessons.

Some of us have been luckier in our choices with partners than others. It could easily be any of us on this thread.

Let us focus on the actual issue.

Yes boss, focusing right now as I type...

amicable09:

Lol. You know what the 11th commandment says?
"Thou shalt not be caught"
I learnt it from my seniors.

All the people who feel they are better than this lady because she got pregnant and them with all their bedmatics haven't, speak as if we don't know how pregnancy enters. It's only a matter of time before we see the result.

Calling a poor child/foetus that hasn't even been born yet a bastard is the height of insensitivity. Even the so called dictionary states clearly that the use of that word should be informal.

Bad mouthed people everywhere.

I am telling you, some people are just so insensitive... This is clearly not the time for the name calling but their self righteous and oversabi self won't let them oo..



Lol.. As in ehn, no be lie o "Thou shalt not be caught" Infact, thou must not be caught.

edoman2016:

The school proprietor could be right to sack her for getting pregnant out of wedlock. A teacher is expected to be a role model to pupils. I can not allow my children to be taught by a teacher that got pregnant out of wedlock because it is a bad example of morality. A child born out of wedlock is a bastard.

As if you no fvck when you were single. Hypocrital and self righteous people like you are the worst example of morality. I'm sure you have a lot of skeletons in your cupboard, maybe, like several abortions?

lovethchioma:
I am telling you, some people are just so insensitive... This is clearly not the time for the name calling but their self righteous and oversabi self won't let them oo..



Lol.. As in ehn, no be lie o "Thou shalt not be caught" Infact, thou must not be caught.

Lol. Na so o. Na person wey dem catch do wrong. The ones them no catch dey right. But it will be foolhardy to join in casting stones because no one knows the hour or day e go shele, unless their boyfriends help their case of course, they will know what it feels like to love someone enough to let him/her develop inside and be born at the appointed time with or without a husband.