LagosismyHome:


The other side of this story is really women should not marry less than what they currently have

I would want my children to live a better life than I have and to be honest I did have a good life so yes I see a situation where my family can offer to pay.

Whether it right or wrong depends on who you ask... yes it might not be good for the man ego but ego verus the children benefitting from having the best . In some cases it finding that right balance and be aligned in some of the fundamentals in life . I still prefer both parties marrying from similar class

Apination:
It was never about the money, it's a simple case of character which u pointed out at the end. Marriage is between two individuals first before the families, you are married to your wife and not her family and families are not supposed to interfere in ur affairs but intervene which would be as a result of you asking for their assistance if needed. I swear, I would have sent her packing for blatantly undermining me if I were in your shoes cos it's first your decision as to how your children are to be trained based on your available means and then secondly your wife's support in bringing it to light. Comfort though is relative but such relativism is situational and your wife has no excuse as for whatever action she took which did not align with it. Your wife clearly doesn't respect u as a person but only what u can bring to the table, your marriage is simply one of convenience.

Belafonte:


i woukd advise you to have a knowledge of wIht you stand to lose in the event of a divorce. How would you be parting with if the marriage doesn't go as planned? Also, not having a Registry wedding pits you on firmer ground in the sense that you don't have to walk on eggshells, compromising your manhood just because you don't want to lose out in a divorce.

crismark:


i dey knw rich gals wen i see dem...their attitude nd behaviour is jst natural but all dose ones weh no get sabi form well...

omooba969:


The question is 'What is love & What is family'?

He clearly stressed that 'MONEY IS KEY' but how much money is another subject entirely. The fact that the wife's parents are rich gives her the strength to throw her weight around; it's not particularly ideal if she doesn't carry her husband along.

Most marriages & families are now built on the notion of 'MONEY IS KEY'. I am not saying money is not important but how much money is KEY.

Apination:
It was never about the money, it's a simple case of character which u pointed out at the end. Marriage is between two individuals first before the families, you are married to your wife and not her family and families are not supposed to interfere in ur affairs but intervene which would be as a result of you asking for their assistance if needed. I swear, I would have sent her packing for blatantly undermining me if I were in your shoes cos it's first your decision as to how your children are to be trained based on your available means and then secondly your wife's support in bringing it to light. Comfort though is relative but such relativism is situational and your wife has no excuse as for whatever action she took which did not align with it. Your wife clearly doesn't respect u as a person but only what u can bring to the table, your marriage is simply one of convenience.

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

Trivia:


I never thought of it in that light. But I understand you. You are right

munas:



And who will you put as next of kin? your relatives?

I pity you...

The way your children will suffer in the event that something terrible happens to you along the line wll make you cry from the grave.

When you put your relatives there,you will be surprised to see how they will pounce on your belongings like hungry lions and leave your children out. Dont even try it

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network.

Kokaine:
i am happy to see the realities of marriage laid down so bare so as to inform people like me who are almost driven by loneliness and ethics to adopt any skirt and call it a wife. behind the curtains, marriage doesnt seem to be an end to all the emotional depths a mans soul can probably sink into as my married colleagues present it to be from facebook pictures. i am presently considering the choice of a contract marriage just to have a kid because the institution as a whole appears to have been jeopardised and replaced with cupboard benefits and blue-sky expectations.

Belafonte:


i woukd advise you to have a knowledge of wIht you stand to lose in the event of a divorce. How would you be parting with if the marriage doesn't go as planned? Also, not having a Registry wedding pits you on firmer ground in the sense that you don't have to walk on eggshells, compromising your manhood just because you don't want to lose out in a divorce.

MahatmaGhandi:


Men are not well equipt with what they need to know before marriage and are usually silent victims that end up in gallows. The story struck a hard cord and my advise to all guys is not to trust any confession of love that have not been tested and proven by adversity. Avoid the slay queens they have nothing to offer.

Intrepid01:


You are the pefect example of the "woman-type" people have been saying every man should avoid....you really need to work on your psychic....riches and prosperity isn't a function of smartness or brilliance , therefore none is to be blamed for coming short in that regard.
I hope your intending suitors know what they are gunning for.

Apination:
It was never about the money, it's a simple case of character which u pointed out at the end. Marriage is between two individuals first before the families, you are married to your wife and not her family and families are not supposed to interfere in ur affairs but intervene which would be as a result of you asking for their assistance if needed. I swear, I would have sent her packing for blatantly undermining me if I were in your shoes cos it's first your decision as to how your children are to be trained based on your available means and then secondly your wife's support in bringing it to light. Comfort though is relative but such relativism is situational and your wife has no excuse as for whatever action she took which did not align with it. Your wife clearly doesn't respect u as a person but only what u can bring to the table, your marriage is simply one of convenience.

MahatmaGhandi:


Most men can relate to this and it is the silent reason for most seperation and most ladies see nothing wrong with it. They will openly pick their fam over you and expect you to pick them over your fam which some men can easily balance out. But then he starts getting cold cos he cannot tell his wife that he has been insulted and belittled by her fam and siblings. Hard knock life.

LandOwners:



You are 100% right.
No wonder she keeps mounting pressure for registry wedding first before anything.
Thanks for the piece of advice.

happy weekend to u

Intrepid01:


You are the pefect example of the "woman-type" people have been saying every man should avoid....you really need to work on your psychic....riches and prosperity isn't a function of smartness or brilliance , therefore none is to be blamed for coming short in that regard.
I hope your intending suitors know what they are gunning for.

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

ivolt:

This doesn't apply in Nigeria, registry or no registry marriage and the countries where it applies
not registering a marriage won't save you from the law.
In short, you are better off having a baby mama than getting married to an "enemy"
who you constantly have to monitor.

Trivia:


Nigerian marriages have become marriage between families. It is difficult to divorce your nuclear family from the extended especially when you live in the same state, and your spouse cannot drink or eat without contacting the parents. How the other spouse deals with that is rocket science.

Sending her packing is exactly what her parents hoped I would do. In the end, na me go lose, with my kids in their house and my wife under their roof, I would be the bad guy. As a matter of fact, parents have one way or the other been instrumental in many broken homes. These ones believed I couldn't cater for their daughter as much as they wanted. Funny thing is, they also were struggling at the beginning years of their marriage. But now, are quick to despise days of little beginnings.

You cannot underplay the part of money in getting your wife's respect, and her family. It is very essential. Else you will be as good as that guy who is just living with their daughter, calling himself her husband. I can tell you, the respect has changed massively now. Im not saying other things are not involved o. I wish I could tell you more here. But take it from me. Money is very key. A husband should never lack it

On the part of marriage of convenience, I strongly disagree. It was simply love and compatibility. I think I mentioned that earlier.

ivolt:
The problem I see with the OP is that he expected a command and control marriage where
he issues orders that must be followed. There is nothing wrong with this mindset, however,
those with the above mindset should endeavor to marry women who they are sure will be
"submissive", which are often those whose survival depends on the husband. It is easy to
think that the challenges OP went through was because his in-laws were rich but this isn't
necessarily true.
Many parents who are way poorer than the husband still exert undue influence
in their daughter's home. A wife would seek her parent's advice when she doesn't trust
the husband and he has shown signs of being unreliable. Otherwise, most wives would
pretend everything is fine even if it is not.

The OP advised that men avoid marrying from a rich home, but I think that is an incomplete
advice. Men who don't want their ego bruised should marry below their means, so they can
exert their power with money and ensure they keep their wives dependent forever lest they "tear eye".

cococandy:
nonsense

Belafonte:


Actually, you should be glad she's being honest. This is how all women think. All women. Look up the word "hypergamy". Liberate yourself and thank me later.

Jman06:
Bottom line is, marry from good homes. Homes of learned and morally sound parents. Not the kind of homes where the mother is living separately in one location while the father is living somewhere else. Also avoid the homes of "money-miss-roads" with zero education but bags of money. Those are usually the type of people who don't consider other people beyond how much they have in the bank.
The best thing in life is having both money and wisdom to make unbiased judgements about life generally.