How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

The problem is not eating out so don't even go there
The crux of the matter is you guys inability to communicate as couples.
How long have you guys been married? Learn to talk out your differences and put them behind you.
If you don't learn to do that, your marriage is in danger.
Be sure you going to have a lot of disagreements so learn to resolve them and enjoy your marriage
Wish you the best

There isn't much you can do na. Some people keep to themselves when they're angry... That's their own way of dealing with anger, but if I were in your shoes, I'll keep cooking and I won't bother him. He'll come around when all the anger is gone.

Wash d whole cooking utensils, clean d kitchen, empty d fridge,u can mercifully leave satchet water. In fact go on kitchen strike. One nyt hunger go deal with am. He will ask for food.

If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

oloriooko:

The problem is not eating out so don't even go there
The crux of the matter is you guys inability to communicate as couples.
How long have you guys been married? Learn to talk out your differences and put them behind you.
If you don't learn to do that, your marriage is in danger.
Be sure you going to have a lot of disagreements so learn to resolve them and enjoy your marriage
Wish you the best

Thanks

kimbraa:
There isn't much you can do na. Some people keep to themselves when they're angry... That's their own way of dealing with anger, but if I were in your shoes, I'll keep cooking and I won't bother him. He'll come around when all the anger is gone.

Keep cooking for both of you or yourself alone?
I once did that (cooking for everyone). I and the kids dont eat much. I ended up wasting food for like 3days before he came around. Cos I hardly eat leftovers.
And personally I always feel bad when food is thrown away.

thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

He knows and testifies I cook well. He learnt this habit last year

hotmum:


Keep cooking for both of you or yourself alone?
I once did that (cooking for everyone). I and the kids dont eat much. I ended up wasting food for like 3days before he came around. Cos I hardly eat leftovers.
And personally I always feel bad when food is thrown away.

So which would you rather do, not cook and eat out or starve than cooking and having left overs?

hotmum:


He knows and testifies I cook well. He learnt this habit last year

In that case you need to have a heart to heart discussion with him on his new found attitude, without appearing to be judgemental. And if there's anything you're doing that he doesn't like, try to refrain from it.

kimbraa:
So which would you rather do, not cook and eat out or starve than cooking and having left overs?

Just wanted to know if it would be wise to just cook for me and kids alone.
I'm actually tired of asking him if he would eat or not. Cos it seems he enjoys telling me "I don't need your food"
Cos he knows it hurts.

mejai:
Wash d whole cooking utensils, clean d kitchen, empty d fridge,u can mercifully leave satchet water. In fact go on kitchen strike. One nyt hunger go deal with am. He will ask for food.

Won't work with any male in my family, including me [

thesicilian:

In that case you need to have a heart to heart discussion with him on his new found attitude, without appearing to be judgemental. And if there's anything you're doing that he doesn't like, try to refrain from it.

He is the one that did or rather have been doing something I didn't like.
I don't want to go into it as its a long story.
I'm this very emotional person, that tears would take over and I wouldn't be able to continue talking.
Or I would talk out of anger just to avoid crying.

Even while typing I was crying. It's my very bad weakness
So I decided to use SMS so I can bare my mind

SKhanmi:


Won't work with any male in my family, including me [

Hahahaha. Bad guy! Guess u cook. Do u know where she can wear u down? After cooking, she will come and eat ur food. Bet me, u will love her more

oloriooko:

The problem is not eating out so don't even go there
The crux of the matter is you guys inability to communicate as couples.
How long have you guys been married? Learn to talk out your differences and put them behind you.
If you don't learn to do that, your marriage is in danger.
Be sure you going to have a lot of disagreements so learn to resolve them and enjoy your marriage
Wish you the best

Marriage is 5 years.
How do you put behind you a particular issue that has always been discussed and the person doesn't do anything about it

It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focuses on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.

hotmum:

He is the one that did or rather have been doing something I didn't like.
I don't want to go into it as its a long story.
I'm this very emotional person, that tears would take over and I wouldn't be able to continue talking.
Or I would talk out of anger just to avoid crying.

Even while typing I was crying. It's my very bad weakness
So I decided to use SMS so I can bare my mind

I feel your pain. Still talk to him sha, it's never a bad idea to hear from him.

madam pls don't confront him, na. him go tire...am a man and was doing such until i realise my folly...I will be the one to provide the feeding money for the month and upkeep n just becos of a minor misunderstanding with my wife, i will start eating out...to me its waste of money....i did it for a week wen i refuse eating my wife meal over a little quarrel and later found out i hv spent close to N12k dat week....funny enough, after she beg n i still dey do shakara, she ignore me but still cook but will not serve me again since i will not eat....then she will bring her meal to the sitting room n be eating eat loud to hurt me in my presence.....infact na me tire oo....ignore him

hotmum:


Marriage is 5 years.
How do you put behind you a particular issue that has always been discussed and the person doesn't do anything about it

Your marriage is still young meaning you have time to work things out.
Your motive when discussing is key and remember you are to help each other face challenges not condemn
Choice of words when talking is key as well
Don't rule out prayers in your marriage too

valentineuwakwe:
madam pls don't confront him, na. him go tire...am a man and was doing such until i realise my folly...I will be the one to provide the feeding money for the month and upkeep n just becos of a minor misunderstanding with my wife, i will start eating out...to me its waste of money....i did it for a week wen i refuse eating my wife meal over a little quarrel and later found out i hv spent close to N12k dat week....funny enough, after she beg n i still dey do shakara, she ignore me but still cook but will not serve me again since i will not eat....then she will bring her meal to the sitting room n be eating eat loud to hurt me in my presence.....infact na me tire oo....ignore him

Lol. Your wife is funny.
Thank God it worked for her

oloriooko:

Your marriage is still young meaning you have time to work things out.
Your motive when discussing is key and remember you are to help each other face challenges not condemn
Choice of words when talking is key as well
Don't rule out prayers in your marriage too

Thanks

zainabicy:
It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focused on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.

Thanks for your advice. I need to work on my emotions too

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

If what you are saying is true (i.e. you "explained" things to him, not "talked down" to him), then just ignore him.

When he is tired of his act, tell him to grow up and not sulk when things are being discussed.

That is if you only "explained" things to him before.

Op pls toughen up. Stop the cry cry because it always disrupts communication and you wont be able to pass your point adequately. Atimes, sms is a way to go so there's nothing bad in sending your hubby sms or mail to share how you feel.

As for his rejecting food, ignore him, he will come around.

zainabicy:
It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focused on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.

this advice dosnt work for all men. some wil frustrate u even afta doing all these coz they see it as a weakness

Ok

my advice...


make your home a paradise of peace and love... and watch your man come home at the slightest chance he has. do this



and thank me later

The husband is a real smart man

That's one of the best ways to punish a woman


"Ignore her and don't eat her food till you guys settle"


Omo the thing go pain her die


How can i eat my woman's food when we are having matter. You want make she poison me

Never trust a woman not even your wife
Coach hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Try to avoid quarrelling with him.

Although, it is almost impossible.

Fellow NL, biko how do i reply messages,i do get mails but don't know how to reply them...Help me before i lose a potential hubby