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How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by lastempero: 9:37am On Feb 19, 2018
If its only food he eats outside u got no problem but if its d oda food u got plenty worries madam.

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Geofavor(m): 9:37am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?
..
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by jchioma: 9:37am On Feb 19, 2018
Batgaining chip
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Nobody: 9:37am On Feb 19, 2018
My dear next time you both have misunderstanding, dnt bother to cook for him since you know he wont eat, when he notices that, nobody will tell him to change, just let him fume for a while, he'll come around.

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by pawsofdikeje(m): 9:40am On Feb 19, 2018
If he eats out cause he is angry. He is trying to show his boss side.
Keep cooking his meal and let him know you have prepared a delicious meal for him, he doesn't eat it, then he is wasting his hard earn money.



hotmum:


He knows and testifies I cook well. He learnt this habit last year

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Thegeneralqueen(f): 9:41am On Feb 19, 2018
valentineuwakwe:
madam pls don't confront him, na. him go tire...am a man and was doing such until i realise my folly...I will be the one to provide the feeding money for the month and upkeep n just becos of a minor misunderstanding with my wife, i will start eating out...to me its waste of money....i did it for a week wen i refuse eating my wife meal over a little quarrel and later found out i hv spent close to N12k dat week....funny enough, after she beg n i still dey do shakara, she ignore me but still cook but will not serve me again since i will not eat....then she will bring her meal to the sitting room n be eating eat loud to hurt me in my presence.....infact na me tire oo....ignore him
cheesy cheesy cheesy hope you've learnt your lessons cheesy

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by tofolo(m): 9:44am On Feb 19, 2018
He is being childish and immature, sit him down and make him understand that you would always cook and keep for him cos as a wife you have too, and be sweet and nice about it. Goodluck.
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Bluffly: 9:44am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

From the above, you made it appear as if its just your husband that is the problem. Why did you avoid saying when you offend him and used the word "misunderstanding". So your own offence is misunderstanding while his own is simply offence. The way women always want to be pitied is something else.

I can only say something if I know the type of his offences, because sometimes women can just be something else. So give us at least 3 types of his offences that has made him eat outside even if we won't sanction the act of him eating outside.

Remember that the way you communicate could be a cause.

3 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by dstar01(m): 9:44am On Feb 19, 2018
That is his own way of showing you he's angry which is way better than exchanging heated arguments with you or even raising his hands on you. To solve the issue, go on your knees and apologise to him and sort out what really caused the matter.
Then someday later when everything is smooth between you two, use this logic to ask him to stop this attitude by asking "is it right for a lady to go out and look for sex because her husband has offended her?", if he says NO, then tell him that's what he's doing to you by abandoning your cookings

5 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by SURElee(f): 9:46am On Feb 19, 2018
Husband no chop you come begin cry? Biko me sef go rest. No cooking in a hot kitchen as nigerian kitchen don't come with heat extractor fan. The day he tire to spend all his salary for mama put joint, he go begin chop for house when he remembers his wife's food is more satisfying.

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Stbottle(m): 9:46am On Feb 19, 2018
thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

You are too unwise to give comments on this situation. Pls read and learn. Your kind will eat poisoned food jst because it is delicious. The man obviously has a problem with understanding his wife and you are here verifying the edibility of the womans food.

9 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by KIDfurniture(m): 9:47am On Feb 19, 2018
Some Yoruba women re just too boring in the kitchen -always feeding their husbands with only ewedu and stew every night - a man will get tired of the same thing nah ~ if u can’t offer him varieties then one ugly Calabar woman will help u feed em well- most Yoruba men after marriage still look skinny - why? Study igbo men after marriage they put on thick bones and add more flesh - learn to give him varieties even when he is mad at you he would still eat your food- please give him lots of sex too - don’t be lazy in bed - invent styles , twist , bend , curve , spice it up ja re -

2 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by hadura29(m): 9:48am On Feb 19, 2018
Mtcheww, why will I eat out coz we have shipini misunderstanding, na me hustle the money for the food ooo. Infact it is that time I eat all the food at home..

You guys should just handle things maturely... don't let pride eat your marriage..
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Pataricatering(f): 9:49am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:

Thanks
your husband behavior for s quite immature ! What you should do is as you did earlier ask him one more time whether he would eat and if he refuses stop cooking for him ! You don’t gain anything by rewarding his bad behavior it will only worsen - you have to nip things like this in the bud ! You need to have a discussion about communication within your marriage !

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by royallord1(m): 9:49am On Feb 19, 2018
dstar01:
That is his own way of showing you he's angry which is way better than exchanging heated arguments with you or even raising his hands on you. To solve the issue, go on your knees and apologise to him and sort out what really caused the matter.
Then someday later when everything is smooth between you two, use this logic to ask him to stop this attitude by asking "is it right for a lady to go out and look for sex because her husband has offended her?", if he says NO, then tell him that's what he's doing to you by abandoning your cookings

Don't ever use the logic of sex as a point to prove to your husband.... U will unknowingly implant in his mind that u are considering it as an option.,... For the bible says out of the deepest recesses of the heart, the mouth speaks. ..
U will unknowingly sow the seed of distrust... Which is worst Dan any other marital problems....


MY HONEST SOLUTION... A woman who is ready to succeed in her marriage, especially for the sake of her kidz should master the act of apology .... Put away pride wen it comes to the unity of her family... Most of the success of marriage happens through spiritual engagement with the God...
Its no joke ... A family that prays together ... STAYS TOGETHER... If u and ur hubby pray together every morning.... There is no way ur issues will get this bad...

When we were growing up there was this story of oduduwa and his wife... Where they agreed if there was a bitter argument BTW the both of them and she runs to a particular spot.. He would no longer pursue her or want to beat her up... How true that story is I don't knw.... But the bottom line is at some point during the jolly good time of their marriage... The oduduwa's agreed that this spot was a region of no violence because every marriage must face its down time... If u both have agreed on values that will ensure the sustainability of ur love and marriage...
For instance I told my woman no matter how much I offend her she should pls pick my calls at least once a day... Same with me... Cos I personally am plaqued with the urge to ignore and stay away from whom who hurt me... But no matter what I will pick her calls answer her questions no matter how sucky I might sound but she would knw am OK...
Pls remember a man has pride... I can imagine ur hubby left home for work and got the heart shattering message u sent.... That possibly spoilt his day and created a sadness in him due to the content of ur message .. To think how much hurt he is causing u.... Non the less wat am trying to say is timing.... If u say u can't communicate without crying.... A hand written letter would have done more... Wen he was back home after his dinner.... Place it where he would have found it and explain why u chose dis mode of communication in d first place... As ur weak emotional state won't permit u to express ur feelings...

Basically beg him now... After its all jolly and good discuss with him create a safe region to ensure sustainable growth in ur love and marriage....
God bless u

12 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by KIDfurniture(m): 9:50am On Feb 19, 2018
Stbottle:


Bro slow down abeg - most women out there can’t even fry water - they have just 1 recipe - one meal for a whole year - if ur wife sabi cook u will not even eat out - u will always dream about her meals - even your friends will always visit your home just to have a taste - my brother I know u hardly eat good food so taste no concern u - ewedu and stew as usual -


You are too unwise to give comments on this situation. Pls read and learn. Your kind will eat poisoned food jst because it is delicious. The man obviously has a problem with understanding his wife and you are here verifying the edibility of the womans food.
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Pataricatering(f): 9:51am On Feb 19, 2018
dstar01:
That is his own way of showing you he's angry which is way better than exchanging heated arguments with you or even raising his hands on you. To solve the issue, go on your knees and apologise to him and sort out what really caused the matter.
Then someday later when everything is smooth between you two, use this logic to ask him to stop this attitude by asking "is it right for a lady to go out and look for sex because her husband has offended her?", if he says NO, then tell him that's what he's doing to you by abandoning your cookings
go on her knees for what ? Hat century are you from ?

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by gidjah(m): 9:51am On Feb 19, 2018
zainabicy:
It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focused on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.
hmmmmmm my dear,you gat me smiling and wondering at such an epitome of wisdom and knowledge, love you my Dr Zeezee.women like your type are sure a rare species. God bless U my love .

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by DaddyGngeess(m): 9:52am On Feb 19, 2018
I eat out too even sometimes sleep out too self, women una wahala too much abeg
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by sisisioge: 9:55am On Feb 19, 2018
Biko stop cooking too. Which kind thing be that? If he's not eating then no point in cooking for him. EOD.

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by hadura29(m): 9:55am On Feb 19, 2018
valentineuwakwe:
madam pls don't confront him, na. him go tire...am a man and was doing such until i realise my folly...I will be the one to provide the feeding money for the month and upkeep n just becos of a minor misunderstanding with my wife, i will start eating out...to me its waste of money....i did it for a week wen i refuse eating my wife meal over a little quarrel and later found out i hv spent close to N12k dat week....funny enough, after she beg n i still dey do shakara, she ignore me but still cook but will not serve me again since i will not eat....then she will bring her meal to the sitting room n be eating eat loud to hurt me in my presence.....infact na me tire oo....ignore him

Exactly my point, to hustle for groceries and food no be small thing ooo.. Bros na that time I Dey chop pass sef.. she will cook, before she comes back from work I don clean pot my brother.. she will just smile and tell me I don't even know how to quarrel.... grin grin

6 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by gidjah(m): 9:56am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:


Lol. Your wife is funny.
Thank God it worked for her
yes o she's lucky it did work for her and simply because the man was humble enough to pipe low.in another home that won't work,as a matter of fact, it would spike out more heat and that could lead to divorce o,so one need to be very prayerful and selective b4 administering such a method

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by marvin904(m): 10:02am On Feb 19, 2018
Pataricatering:
go on her knees for what ? Hat century are you from ?


is it the kneeling or the reason behind it that's the issue undecided undecided

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by LyfeJennings(m): 10:02am On Feb 19, 2018
thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

U never jam. No be about Cook o. I'm a guy and if truth be told, I have tendencies of being like ur husband. Its just his person. So instead of her looking at it from the food angle. She should tackle it from d angle that she and her husband lack communication skills as they would have a lot to disagree on...
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Philadelphia: 10:04am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

He did not just suddenly develop this childish attitude of eating outside. It has always been but you somehow neglected it. Let me tell you something, a married man that eats outside (I'm not talking about when he takes his family out or maybe if he is states away from his house), particularly in this case is as guilty as a man who commits adultery because both are linked. It means that he is not faithful to his wife's meal.
However, you can't do anything but to pray and keep cooking and inviting him to eat. Go on and keep asking him what he wants to eat but if he says he is not hungry, font force or confront him. This is where the Holy Spirit does His work.
Cooking for him makes you right in the sight of God and man because you did not stop in your duties as his wife.
Finally, take this seriously because many homes (some I know of) have broken because the man eats outside and somehow got a child outside and in some cases, was fed with some portions that made him abandon his wife and children. This is not to scare you or cause you to worry.
Keep this situations far from friends or family who wouldn't help but would make things worse.
Pray hard and trust in God and you'd see what He would do for you.
I wish you and others in your situation a happier home and a blessed marriage.

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:04am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?


ur emotions is xactly like mine despite using my mony to cook wit enough tears nd begging.

he kips malice nd tortoure me emotionally til i bcame depressed.
just one day i made up my mind to face my fears and weakness .

i stopped begging nd cooking for him. i prepared my meals nd eat wit my kids only. i stopped bothering myself.when i travelled to cool off i didnt bother to buy foodstuffs or toiletries in d house. funny enof asides indomie nd frying plantain he cant cook.


ur husband' s behavior was childish nd immature.wat stops him from making peace nd forgiveness.

married couples shuld stop taking eachother for granted. know ur limits nd learn to forgiv each other in love. i reached my breaking point nd i reacted without looking back.

if u av a husband dat dosnt joke wit his responsibilities to u nd his kids, appriciate him, spoil him, pray for him nd make him happy always. same applies to aving a caring,loving nd humble wife.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by adisabarber(m): 10:05am On Feb 19, 2018
hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

When there's a misunderstanding, cook something he can't get easily. A meal you don't cook regularly. The aroma of the food will settle the quarrel. Please, DO NOT TRY TO PREVENT HIM FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE!
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by chukzybanks(m): 10:06am On Feb 19, 2018
mejai:
Wash d whole cooking utensils, clean d kitchen, empty d fridge,u can mercifully leave satchet water. In fact go on kitchen strike. One nyt hunger go deal with am. He will ask for food. wink
.
Hmmm okay
Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by bethyz(m): 10:07am On Feb 19, 2018
Anytime he eats out don't make it a big deal . Pack your food and put in the fridge. When he comes back talk to him as normal. Next time cook small food when you think there was quarrel. Always tell him where he went wrong and when you guys are in the happy mood tell him how childish he behaves by eating out and ask him how long he will continue to do that.

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by edimolu(m): 10:08am On Feb 19, 2018
tofolo:
He is being childish and immature, sit him down and make him understand that you would always cook and keep for him cos as a wife you have too, and and be sweet and nice about it. Goodluc.
smiley

1 Like

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