How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding - Family (3)

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How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:11am On Feb 19, 2018

Philadelphia:

He did not just suddenly develop this childish attitude of eating outside. It has always been but you somehow neglected it. Let me tell you something, a married man that eats outside (I'm not talking about when he takes his family out or maybe if he is states away from his house), particularly in this case is as guilty as a man who commits adultery because both are linked. It means that he is not faithful to his wife's meal.
However, you can't do anything but to pray and keep cooking and inviting him to eat. Go on and keep asking him what he wants to eat but if he says he is not hungry, font force or confront him. This is where the Holy Spirit does His work.
Cooking for him makes you right in the sight of God and man because you did not stop in your duties as his wife.
Finally, take this seriously because many homes (some I know of) have broken because the man eats outside and somehow got a child outside and in some cases, was fed with some portions that made him abandon his wife and children. This is not to scare you or cause you to worry.
Keep this situations far from friends or family who wouldn't help but would make things worse.
Pray hard and trust in God and you'd see what He would do for you.
I wish you and others in your situation a happier home and a blessed marriage.

so wat wuld u say of a man that dnt eat out but stil refused d wife food despite beggin nd pleas.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by kokomilala(m): 10:12am On Feb 19, 2018

It may sound simplistic, but it's gospel. Dialogue with him, don't let communication break down. You need God's wisdom to manage your marriage. And avoid things that make him angry. Stoop to conquer. A wise woman builds her home, but a senseless one tears it down. At some point, he'll bend.

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by INFOTECH2: 10:13am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:

He knows and testifies I cook well. He learnt this habit last year

Marriage is truly a learning place.

Like someone said earlier, both of you should learn to communicate. The more you can do this the better. Try to ensure that the communication is done when both of you are in good spirits and happy.

Even if you have to be to one who initiates the discussions, just do it.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by badoh(m): 10:13am On Feb 19, 2018

Honestly, I'm a resemblance of your husband in terms of what he just did only that I don't eat out. If there's misunderstanding between us, I prefer to keep it to myself but after like two days, I forget about it. Your Husband may require you to say you are sorry though you may not be the one at fault.
Do not let a simple sorry disrupt the love between both of you. Oya call him now and say youre sorry dear.

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by GambaOsaka: 10:14am On Feb 19, 2018

valentineuwakwe:
madam pls don't confront him, na. him go tire...am a man and was doing such until i realise my folly...I will be the one to provide the feeding money for the month and upkeep n just becos of a minor misunderstanding with my wife, i will start eating out...to me its waste of money....i did it for a week wen i refuse eating my wife meal over a little quarrel and later found out i hv spent close to N12k dat week....funny enough, after she beg n i still dey do shakara, she ignore me but still cook but will not serve me again since i will not eat....then she will bring her meal to the sitting room n be eating eat loud to hurt me in my presence.....infact na me tire oo....ignore him

Funny but might not work for everyone. We all have different temperaments. Eating out loud to oppress the husband would be pouring petrol into a burning fire.
My advice is just a simple apology. How can I eat the food of someone I'm fighting ?

3 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by congorasta: 10:14am On Feb 19, 2018

women should stop asking silly questions. you are a woman you are more "powerful " than your husband. study him and his temperament. know him then he will forever be yours and eat from your hand.

3 Likes

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by YankeeJJC(m): 10:15am On Feb 19, 2018

edimahgurl:
Fellow NL, biko how do i reply messages,i do get mails but don't know how to reply them...Help me before i lose a potential hubby

once the Person send a message request, make sure u n dat fellow follow yourselves, then u can start sending private messages through on nairaland n will show on your Email inbox (Gmail, Yahoo). Hope u understand, if u don't let me know.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:15am On Feb 19, 2018

LyfeJennings:

U never jam. No be about Cook o. I'm a guy and if truth be told, I have tendencies of being like ur husband. Its just his person. So instead of her looking at it from the food angle. She should tackle it from d angle that she and her husband lack communication skills as they would have a lot to disagree on...

behavioral tendencies of being like her husband makes u immature.y wuld u kip malice nd allow d devil to penetrate ur home.

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by phnibeogu: 10:16am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

your statement indicts ur husband as someone who offends but on the other hand you dud exonorate yourself with the phrase "having misunderstanding" which means you are never wrong. just misunderstood... this draws a thing line suggesting perfection from your perspective. which for me indicates you think you are always right and you ate the one to correct every error... this is enough to drive a man crazy .. nevertheless.... working out conflicts between man and woman is easy... if no insult and good presentation is used.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:17am On Feb 19, 2018

gidjah:
yes o she's lucky it did work for her and simply because the man was humble enough to pipe low.in another home that won't work,as a matter of fact, it would spike out more heat and that could lead to divorce o,so one need to be very prayerful and selective b4 administering such a method

God bless u for this

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:25am On Feb 19, 2018

kokomilala:
It may sound simplistic, but it's gospel. Dialogue with him, don't let communication break down. You need God's wisdom to manage your marriage. And avoid things that make him angry. Stoop to conquer. A wise woman builds her home, but a senseless one tears it down. At some point, he'll bend.

u avnt met my kind of husband. nothing moves him .on top nothing hes stil strong hearted nd wil frustrate life out of u

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Nobody: 10:27am On Feb 19, 2018

I'll do same!.... i did it to my late mum when we disagree, how much more my wife..
just let the anger in him abate, then talk things over.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Nednelz(m): 10:27am On Feb 19, 2018

zainabicy:
It is good that you care this much.

Now by all means always air your concerns to your husband. This instance of him eating out is wrong, but there might be nothing you can do just now. But it is something you have to discuss with him over later . For now always cook his meals and always tell him you prepared his meals , even if he doesn't seem to care.

Love focused on what is right and not who is right. I always ask my husband , if one of us offends, the answer is---how do we reconcile from that point, and not revenge.

Seat him down when you know he has the time. Be deliberate with 'happy moments'. Those times when you guys are in a good mood and laughing is always a good time to settle issues. When you are both happy and in a gay mood...

Say something like 'babe, I want your honest opinion on something. I find it uncomfortable when you do this...or this happens...
I know you love me and you are not doing this to deliberately hurt me...is there a way you could do 'this' instead...or not do this... again because it makes me feel like this...

Don't ever get tired of communication in the marriage, it might be awkward and tense in the beginnings, but it smooths over and pays out in the long run.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:28am On Feb 19, 2018

INFOTECH2:

Marriage is truly a learning place.

Like someone said earlier, both of you should learn to communicate. The more you can do this the better. Try to ensure that the communication is done when both of you are in good spirits and happy.

Even if you have to be to one who initiates the discussions, just do it.

wat if he isnt intrested in communicating or listening to u but he walks out on u.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by lilyfaith(f): 10:29am On Feb 19, 2018

If he refuses to eat your food, let him be. Hunger will rewire his stomach one night when he won't have the opportunity to eat out.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by realtalk19: 10:31am On Feb 19, 2018

badoh:
Honestly, I'm a resemblance of your husband in terms of what he just did only that I don't eat out. If there's misunderstanding between us, I prefer to keep it to myself but after like two days, I forget about it. Your Husband may require you to say you are sorry though you may not be the one at fault.
Do not let a simple sorry disrupt the love between both of you. Oya call him now and say youre sorry dear.

even with d sorry nd begging some wunt b moved until u ar emotionally tortured nd drained

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by samsam2019: 10:36am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:
How do you handle a husband that after telling him his offenses to you, or when you have misunderstanding he keeps malice and starts eating outside.
I'm the type that can cry when explaining things so I sent him an SMS of what he did wrong.

Instead he kept malice and refused food.
I'm not the eating type and can't force myself to finish a pot of food. So this morning I asked if he would eat and he said No.
And later went out and has not come back.
Should I confront him about his eating out, and how?

that you're worried about this shows you're a good woman who loves her husband.

Here's my advice_ please oo, don't ever tell your family matters to sad people, sad feminists and people who are divorced or not having a good marriage. You know why? These set of people will lead you astray.

Back to your hubby, when you're both at home, preferably in the night you can talk to him about how upset you are about him not eating your food and how he needs to discuss whatever issues he has with you instead of refusing your food.

Lastly you both should find a way to reduce what gets you into arguments

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by bleskid: 10:36am On Feb 19, 2018

na normal stove

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by asatemple(f): 10:37am On Feb 19, 2018

Believe me with time you'll get used to it. My advice is anytime you guys are not in good terms, start cooking special food like fresh fish pepper soup, bitter leaf soup with cow head etc. And make sure you eat whenever he is around.
Ensure you serve him his food and leave it on the dinning till he lives house the next day. Telling you out of experience, marriage is a phase, he'll still stop it with time

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by samsam2019: 10:37am On Feb 19, 2018

lilyfaith:
If he refuses to eat your food, let him be. Hunger will rewire his stomach one night when he won't have the opportunity to eat out.

and you think you have sense?

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by iamjavadem(m): 10:38am On Feb 19, 2018

Madam, what you are doing is what he sees as nagging. Women dont always believe they are nagging even when you tell them. You dont always have to complain about everything. Marriage is about endurance and learning to live with people and their flaws and weakness. Complain less and accept him for who he is. Him going out to eat when angry can lead to alot of things like him meeting another woman. Please i beg you for the sake of your kids stop complaining too much. My wife does exactly what you are doing but i am a patient man and would rather just sit on my computer than go out to eat.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by redsun(m): 10:39am On Feb 19, 2018

Then you cook less that only you can eat. There is nothing bad in eating out sometimes because it stops you from cooking,especially when you are the only chef in the house.

If you let a man/woman overrides you in a relationship, then you will become nothing more an object.

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by adanny01(m): 10:41am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:

Just wanted to know if it would be wise to just cook for me and kids alone.
I'm actually tired of asking him if he would eat or not. Cos it seems he enjoys telling me "I don't need your food"
Cos he knows it hurts.

Communicate!

Tell him that he has not been eating at home lately and you've been wasting food. Before cooking next time, call him on phone and ask if he will eat at home or not so you know to include or excluded him.

If i were him, that's when i will make things right or take blame if anything goes south.

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by samsam2019: 10:43am On Feb 19, 2018

desreek9:
My dear next time you both have misunderstanding, dnt bother to cook for him since you know he wont eat, when he notices that, nobody will tell him to change, just let him fume for a while, he'll come around.

Op should ignore this rubbish

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Kassidy90(m): 10:45am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:

He knows and testifies I cook well. He learnt this habit last year

I can relate coz am culprit of d same act sometimes when my wife hurt me badly I do dat to punish her until she comes around n apologize, I choose to do that instead of arguing or engaging in physical confrontation with her some people might call it immaturity or whatever but what I ve learnt in marriage is dat every couple have their unique way of dealing with things my wife is a very stubborn woman so I found out d only thing dat can make her head settled quickly is when u dont give her attention and its bin working not that I enjoy it but in ur case I think what is missing is communications, sit him down n talk to him coz u made a point that he just started it last year so unlike me He's not bin doing dat so something is definitely wrong, just talk to me in a cool voice oooo

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Nobody: 10:45am On Feb 19, 2018

thesicilian:
If you're a good cook, your husband will eat your food no matter the misunderstanding

not true, rejecting ur food is some peoples way of telling u they are angry

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by adanny01(m): 10:46am On Feb 19, 2018

lilyfaith:
If he refuses to eat your food, let him be. Hunger will rewire his stomach one night when he won't have the opportunity to eat out.

If you do that as my wife, you will be surprised. Its not hunger that will 'rewire' my stomach, its another woman

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Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by samsam2019: 10:47am On Feb 19, 2018

Pataricatering:
your husband behavior for s quite immature ! What you should do is as you did earlier ask him one more time whether he would eat and if he refuses stop cooking for him ! You don’t gain anything by rewarding his bad behavior it will only worsen - you have to nip things like this in the bud ! You need to have a discussion about communication within your marriage !

nip things like this in the bud like she's dealing with a kid eh?

You don't even have the full gist and you're already talking nonsense

1 Like

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Pat081: 10:50am On Feb 19, 2018

mejai:
Wash d whole cooking utensils, clean d kitchen, empty d fridge,u can mercifully leave satchet water. In fact go on kitchen strike. One nyt hunger go deal with am. He will ask for food.

bad man u b but dat is true,lol

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by joedejoe: 10:50am On Feb 19, 2018

The issue is not the misunderstanding but your attitude towards him during and after the quarrel.

If you realise that your husband is your king, head and leader in this kingdom and university of marriage, how do you honour him. Change your attitude and put on more of honour and reverence for him at all times and you see the miraculous results.

He will always come back to you apologising for his faults and at the same time appreciate your love, patience and understanding in the matter. He will also feed you as you eat together.
Note also that misunderstanding in marriages among other things renews love and passion for each other.
God help you

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by elda2303(m): 10:51am On Feb 19, 2018

hotmum:

Just wanted to know if it would be wise to just cook for me and kids alone.
I'm actually tired of asking him if he would eat or not. Cos it seems he enjoys telling me "I don't need your food"
Cos he knows it hurts.

Yes it does hurt, but pls don't make the mistake of cooking for you and the kids Alone. It could become another issue if he comes around and theres no food. Moreover der should be soup in the fridge abi u cook fresh food evryday, so wen he is hungry u just kuku make ebaor boil rice for him to eat. Pls do not make the mistake of denying him food no matter how petty his reaction might seem. Have a nice day

Re: How To Handle Husband That Eats Out When There's A Misunderstanding by Nobody: 10:52am On Feb 19, 2018

samsam2019:
Op should ignore this rubbish

I have come to understand that every home has its unique way of handling things. my sister's husband usually do same. she will just Ignor him. once she served food, he refused to eat, she sat down and eat d food. that was d last time her husband did such, imagine! it worked 4 her but may not work 4 d op. he is d 1 at home with him, she need to find something that works 4 her

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