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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! (1694 Views)
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The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by 26Clueless(m): 2:56pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
bleeds as I write this... I met this guy when I was in my final year in school. I was 21 then and he was 32 . We met when I was on break and I was doing some part time job.He asked me out and after some few weeks I accepted. I was beginning to like him because he looks cools and intelligent and was actually what I needed in a man. So we started dating. We are based in lagos but I schooled in the east. He works at Victoria island with a real estate company as a business developer for two years now, has his own car,doing quite well for himself so I thought he lives alone cuz I stay on the mainland and he stays at Opic after Berger. Because his place is quite far from where I stay on the mainland, so we usually meet at Ikeja which was a central place. All through the first year of we started dating we never had sex cuz I wasn't ready and wanted to finish my education before I start indulging in sex and get ready for a serious relationship because I was a virgin. He doesnt give me much money and we dont really go to fantastic places cuz he usually complains he doesnt have much money and he is on loan and all. I didnt want to leave him cuz of money.I wanted to stick with him till he makes it I thought. I brought him once to see my mum but my mum doesnt really like him. I thought its because of his tribe bcuz he is yoruba and I am igbo. So we started a very serious r/ship when I finished school. When we go hang out I meet his friends who are also yoruba. when we go make out, we go to guest houses cuz his place is far and he usually complains he doesnt like traffic cuz his place is far. I am a decent girl and from a responsible home so I dont sleep out, I dont club and I dont keep much friends either. I speak and chat with this guy every day of my life for four good years. He was like my best friend and is the first person to know anything I do. We chat late in the night but I notice most times he goes to bed by 10pm giving excuse that he has to go to work the following day. I never knew its cuz his wife is a nursing mother and they dont sleep in the same room. So while I was doing my service in 2016, I eventually got pregnant for him. we agreed to remove it cuz we weren't ready for marriage yet and he said when I get a good job, we would start planning towards marriage. Most times I call him around 7pm to know if he has left work but he doesnt pick giving me excuses that his colleagues were in his car and he was driving. I never knew his so called colleague is his wife who also work on the island and they come back home together. Most times I want him to take me to his house, but he tells me he cant bcuz his cousin usually stays with him and his parents usually come around cuz he is the only son and his other sisters are married and he also told himself he wouldnt bring any woman home till he is ready for marriage bcuz of his bad experience with his ex in the past, this was his excuse to me not coming to his house. I would I know they were all lies bcuz I was inexperience and innocent. Maybe I dint really pay too much attention cuz I wasnt ready for marriage then. I noticed there has been stagnancy in the r/ship so I told myself this year I would break up with him if he is not talking marriage bcuz I would be clocking 25 this year. And I was hoping I get a good job also bcuz he always says he wont marry a woman with no job and I also dont like being dependent on a man. To cut the long story short, we quarreled about him not making out time for me for valentine. His excuse was that he went for a meeting after work and there was terrible traffic till late at night. We had a serious fight so he told me to return the iphone 4 he gave me to use temporarily cuz my phone was faulty and he claimed the phone belongs to his dad. So I decided to pay him a surprise visit on sunday after church to return his so called dad phone or to settle our quarrel bcuz I have only been to his house about five times. I knocked and could hear him shouting who is it, but I dint answer so he opened the door, immediately he saw me he shut the door, I knocked again, and he came out and closed the door telling me to come down stairs with him. I was eager to meet his cousin he has been telling me he stays with. So when I went in, I saw a boy about 5 yrs lying down on the coach and what they use in carrying new born baby. I thought its his sister son bcuz he always talk about his sister. Lo and behold, a woman came from the bedroom, I asked if she is Olamide's sister she said no, his wife. I was shocked. I walked up to her and told her everything, she couldnt believe it. Meanwhile the idiot was still downstairs waiting for me. He came and met his wife and I talking in her room he showed me was his cousin room. He dragged me out of his house, his compound and onto the street, shouting security and threatening to call police for me. I have never been humiliated like that before in my entire life. I was shocked.Up till now it still looks like a dream to me. Some how the wife got my number and called me and we spoke at length. I told her everything. she told me shes a workaholic and travels out a lot. And those times he brought me to his house, was probably when she traveled out. We didnt even know we made out in his matrimonial bed. she said she never checked his phone cuz she trusted him. We are both in shock.Everything this guy has ever told me has been all lies. The wife told me to send her pictures of us cuz she needs an evidence, which I have done and she is holding herself from going violent on him. I cant believe this is happening to me. What did I do to deserve this? A man I have been so faithful and loyal to. Men are wicked o. This life is cruel. Olamide you will suffer for this pain and agony you put me through. You will die a painful death till I have the heart to forgive. I curse you today and forevermore. I haven't decided yet on what to do to him. As for his picture and where he works I wilI review it when am ready. I will be in the comment section. What will you do if you find out a man you have been dating for 4yrs is married with 2kids |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nwodosis(m): 3:00pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
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Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by squarelead(m): 3:02pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
It happens. Move on. Part of lessons of life. Find that right man for yourself but this time be more careful. |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nobody: 3:03pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Wow, just wow ![]() |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by sunbilor(m): 3:05pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Hmm |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Orgym(m): 3:05pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Take heart sis. But I think u are not smart enough |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by 26Clueless(m): 3:06pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Orgym:really ? |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by XhosaNostra(f): 3:06pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Chalk it up as a valuable life lesson & move on. 1 Like |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Goddys(m): 3:07pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Ehyaaa...virginity that would have been auctioned for $200,000.... 1 Like |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nobody: 3:09pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Sorry sis you met one of the bad ones. Don't give up, there are still good ones out there ![]() |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nobody: 3:11pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
This is hard. Aunty, you didn't play smart. In rltshp now seeing is believing. You'd have try proving all those lies. When a man feeds you with excuses 2much, you better check his feeding bottle. Rlthsp issue don't win police station, so forgive yourself and move ahead in life. Sorry for your loss. You'll meet a good man like me one day. For the man, what will I say now. Ehn, thunder will fire him because Karma must visit his case file. |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Pubichairs(m): 3:12pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
![]() don't see it as "all men are the same" their are still good ones out there...don't lose hope |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Pubichairs(m): 3:13pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
I rest my case |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by goldiam(f): 3:13pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Such a pity you met a Yoruba demon.Just move on and try and forget him I know it's hard but trust me with time you will heal. And to those wicked padlock guys out there I have only one word for you. The thunder that will kill you is still taking classes from Noah by the time it's ready for you,even your dead bodies will not be found. |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by QueenSuccubus(f): 3:14pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
![]() Ooh wow! I will be speechless if i we're on her shoes.. Definitely i will feel devastated coz this is truly unfair on her side.. But on the other side, it's good thing that she finally founds out & the wife is more calm... She can't do anything to it but to cut all the ties with him and let his wife do the judgement whether she will divorce him or give him another chance for the sake of their kids..But ONCE A CHEATER, IS ALWAYS A CHEATER... ![]() JUZ SIT DOWN & LET THE KARMA DO ALL THE WORK ![]() |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by labanj1(m): 3:19pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Dating a 31 year old man till he was 36 years and you don't believe he isn't married and not ready to settle down. Nawa o. 1 Like |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nobody: 3:27pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
How can ye be deceived so sheepishly thou woman? |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Nobody: 3:30pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
goldiam:chisos! Bia are you cursing or prophesying? |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Afritop(m): 3:30pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
THIS LIFE |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by mikejj(m): 3:32pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
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Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by markode777: 4:05pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Dating itself is a SCAM!!!!! Make friends and you will find a husband from them... Friendship is true love not dating. Dating is about lies and all that, but in friendship, you will know who the person really is. Most of the people who date don't end up marrying, because its all about fun, fun fun! Dating is all about SEX, LUST!!!! thats why its all bout break up and yet you will meet a new person and claim to be inlove and yet you break up again. True love never dies thats why you don't break up with friends. Rubbish... Fix your life and make the right friends and you will soon be married. 2 Likes |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by tunbosun002(f): 4:16pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
B |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by ImaIma1(f): 4:43pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
It is so common. The one i dated proposed to me when i confronted him with the truth. Very hopeless foolish man. Thank God i didn't date him for long before i found out. Op just pick yourself up and move ahead. Don't over analyse the relationship or waste time trying to see where you were wrong. Just be more observant and detailed next time. There are still good guys. |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by keenn: 4:54pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
tunbosun002: am sorry bosun. unfortunately God would not intervene in matters like this, because He doesn't care. and if he does, he wouldn't interfere in relationships that formication/relationship vices were committed... that is if He exist anyways. And as for carma, we all know that doesn't exist...just a saying to checkmate human activities, for if so, the effect and certainty of carma would have made humans righteous already. what am implying is , if u wanna deal with someone that disappoints u after having an agreement with him/her then do it by involving the law, and such agreement must have legal documentation. aside that, all na wash. except u wanna put law into your hands. the idea of God and karma is out of place |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by keenn: 5:02pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
26Clueless: men are not wicked, rather, humans are. And this aply for both gender. would advice u cut out any communication with the said wife and the man himself. u are the home breaker here, yes! unfortunately that's what it appears to be. a man that drags a 'Lady' he once dated in the house/compound/street depicts how unbecoming and unpredictive he can be. destroying his home further only add more salt to the injury. if u have to cry, please do. the best healer is time, with time u will be fine men are not wicked, humans are. |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by 99foxxy(f): 5:18pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
My dear sister, I really know how you feel... The guy is a dare devil and sooner or later he will get his reward. A bitter lesson learnt, never trust any man again even your future husband to be. It's not your fault for not knowing he was married. Some men will never know peace in life... Forget him and his wife. Cut all ties with them and move on. 1 Like |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by crismark(m): 6:26pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
i dnt blame d man at all...u didnt av d balls to break up maybe because u saw he was well to do(had a job nd a car). secondly, instead of u to find a means of making moni, u were hoping for marriage because u were clocking 25 years... dats y i say naija girls need to step up their tinking (marriage is nt an achievement but making moni is d best achievement one can tink of). |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by BaeMercy(f): 6:56pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
I Feel So Sad After I Read This. You Gave Him Your Virginity And He Dumped You After Everything. I Feel Your Pain, I Am Sorry But You Have To More On... Block His Numbers, And Leave Him Alone. Nemesis Awaits Him. Keep Moving Further.... Never Let This To Bring You Down, He Doesn't Deserve You. Just Hold On To God Good Day 1 Like |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by 26Clueless(m): 7:50pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
squarelead:noted |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Mznaett: 8:16pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
This one is small now... Let the ladies here share their own. ![]() |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by AryEmber(f): 8:17pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Goddys:Instead of her to make money, she went and got her heart broken, shio! |
Re: The Man Have Been Dating For 4years Is Married With Two Kids. need your help ! by Abojupupa: 9:13pm On Feb 21, 2018 |
Marry him. |
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