1. All those saying "move on"... do they know the meaning of 7 years?
7 years is huge and trust me having been with someone for that long, it can never be easy to move in without them. But hey, she's gone so you are left with no other choice than to move on. However to make it easy...
- Talk to a friend or group of frineds - they will help you get over it. You need people t be there for you
- Try never to be alone for now
- Get rid of things that will remind you of her ... pictures, gifts, delete her pics, unfollow on social sites, stop communicating with her totally.
- Try never to be idle- always keep yourself busy
- Focus on your job

2. For all those saying "She will regret it" blah blah, UNFORTUNATELY, THIS ISNT A MOVIE OR A FAIRYTALE - SHE MAY NOT RGRET IT
As a matter of fact, she may end up living happily ever after with her new found "rich" boo. but hey, that's life - not always fair atleast from the human perspective. But you can't beat yourself up about that. Forget trying to get rich inorder to impress or show her. LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. GET RICH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HELPING YOUR FAMILY & RELATIVES AND HUMANITY


IN SHORT FORGET SHE EXISTS AND MOVE ON BRO.

airmirthd1:
So you brought my matter to NLs..... I seeeeee....
I go do you shege!!

Chai! I don enta!
Thanks dear

Young man your dad will be very ashamed of you if he knows you have being crying because a woman left you becos u not earning enough.
Something has to change for changes to happen. That's reality. Your seven yrs babe is gone hope you ready for the new phase of your life. Its either going to be better or worse ... You decide.
I think God has finally looked into your matter. Its not easy to be a man.. Sometimes pains can just be the catalyst we need.
You were loving recklessly na u don bash your heart.
If I were you tomoro I go suit up go church and church .. Drink wella. Then monday visit all the companies for my city looking for that job. U must get job.

Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with is the best person out there, but that's not true.
You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find the right girl who really deserves you.

hope he gets to read this. Enuf advice, enuf written. Pray God sees him through. Wuldnt evn advice him to win dt lady bck, dias no guarantee dt she's a keeper.

I will tell you the bitter truth,not because of your present circumstance but for the future and also for the MEN in this forum. There is no such thing as 50-50 love. Someone is always investing more emotionally.In this case I can safely say it was you.Never love someone more than she loves you or you are setting yourself up for a huge disaster.
Take this time out to apologise to someone.YOU!
Start treating yourself better and love yourself more.
And remember whenever you find yourself in a relationship always make sure your partner makes more sacrifices and loves you more.Even at that, still expect disappointments from her. Cheers Bro!

Why will a high paying job be a criteria for marriage?. So funny she is just looking for excuses to leave you but life goes on. Move on, work hard and make ur money you will see love again. If she comes back when you condition has changed, don't hesitate to put her in the trash. She is not faithful but a gold digger.

sofadj:
1. All those saying "move on"... do they know the meaning of 7 years?
7 years is huge and trust me having been with someone for that long, it can never be easy to move in without them. But hey, she's gone so you are left with no other choice than to move on. However to make it easy...
- Talk to a friend or group of frineds - they will help you get over it. You need people t be there for you
- Try never to be alone for now
- Get rid of things that will remind you of her ... pictures, gifts, delete her pics, unfollow on social sites, stop communicating with her totally.
- Try never to be idle- always keep yourself busy
- Focus on your job

2. For all those saying "She will regret it" blah blah, UNFORTUNATELY, THIS ISNT A MOVIE OR A FAIRYTALE - SHE MAY NOT RGRET IT
As a matter of fact, she may end up living happily ever after with her new found "rich" boo. but hey, that's life - not always fair atleast from the human perspective. But you can't beat yourself up about that. Forget trying to get rich inorder to impress or show her. LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. GET RICH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HELPING YOUR FAMILY & RELATIVES AND HUMANITY


IN SHORT FORGET SHE EXISTS AND MOVE ON BRO.

is the guy I pity because to the lady 7yrs was nothing.

scantee:
my dear it was'nt easy @all..but i feel very much better now. Btw: to be single is very cool, i am now answerable to myself alone..

lol,ao was ur vals day? hope yu didnt miss her den?pele dear

ariyike23:


lol,ao was ur vals day? hope yu didnt miss her den?pele dear

lol miss ke! Not @all..besides i am still on vocation, how are u ur lordship?

scantee:
lol miss ke! Not @all..besides i am still on vocation, how are u ur lordship?

Am quite good,do av fun... Nd be safe

Candybob:
OP, your mumu dey smell!
You want join the list of men wey don kpai over love (na toto last last)?
How many women you fit call wey don die on top love matter? Yet anytime you hear 'heartbreak', 100% of the time na from woman mouth!
Instead of you to come and do thankgiving now that you have been liberated! You are here crying she be good girl, she be nice yansh, this that.
Ol boy go buy urself fish pepper soup and one bottle of origin joor!

Gbam u nail it bro especially the aspect that u mentioned bottle of orijin and pepper soup...yay

ariyike23:

Am quite good,do av fun... Nd be safe

yes ur lordship

scantee:
yes ur lordship

U moved on from your fiancee? Wow! I really need to be Strong and move on from my ex..The wounds are still fresh, I wake up in the mornings feeling weak and sad! God help me!

Jadeite:




U moved on from your fiancee? Wow! I really need to be Strong and move on from my ex..The wounds are still fresh, I wake up in the mornings feeling weak and sad! God help me!

my dear is really not easy @ll, the breakup makes me drink a lot just to be happy and forget her...though she is now begging me to take her back, but i have seen her through colour, as she breakup close to our traditional marriage it has to stand that way no going back

scantee:
my dear is really not easy @ll, the breakup makes me drink a lot just to be happy and forget her...though she is now begging me to take her back, but i have seen her through colour, as she breakup close to our traditional marriage it has to stand that way no going back

Awwwww na..
.Plesse do not drink..Please,don't do DAT...You will only hurt yourself more..You are supposed to be a testimony to the broken hearts in the city..Be of good cheer, the pain will fade..God bless.

Jadeite:



Awwwww na..
.Plesse do not drink..Please,don't do DAT...You will only hurt yourself more..You are supposed to be a testimony to the broken hearts in the city..Be of good cheer, the pain will fade..God bless.

ya i dnt drink much...though, i am ok now only thinks about her whenever i visits the some area we normaly visited together, being an outing & frexing type is really hard to cope especially seeing other guys there with their love ones..

really short of words though.. but GOd will see those of you experiencing heartbreaks through and help you to move on..

scantee:
ya i dnt drink much...though, i am ok now only thinks about her whenever i visits the some area we normaly visited together, being an outing & frexing type is really hard to cope especially seeing other guys there with their love ones..

Bros you need to spend some nights with a classy but pretty bad biatch I swear. Emotions cloud our logical reasoning sometimes. The funny thing is I don't know why a lot of guys are blind to certain things. A lot of guys can't tell the difference between a good girl from a bad one. My question today is this, can you tell the difference between a good one/wife material from a bad one/lifetime mistake?


I just want to be real online, I hope some nairalanders won't come bashing me for being judgemental.

yinkeys:

Bros you need to spend some nights with a classy but pretty bad biatch I swear. Emotions cloud our logical reasoning sometimes. The funny thing is I don't know why a lot of guys are blind to certain things. A lot of guys can't tell the difference between a good girl from a bad one. My question today is this, can you tell the difference between a good one/wife material from a bad one/lifetime mistake?


I just want to be real online, I hope some nairalanders won't come bashing me for being judgemental.

bro i am not the OP oh, though i am in the same shoe with, for ur question surely i can differentiate.

hurting:

I told her exactly that! People lose jobs everyday. What is I get n lose it later after our wedding?

Its just that I find it very hard! Thanks for d advice.

You r so naive abt women!

scantee:
ya i dnt drink much...though, i am ok now only thinks about her whenever i visits the some area we normaly visited together, being an outing & frexing type is really hard to cope especially seeing other guys there with their love ones..

Nothing wrong with drinking but careful it doesn't become blown to alcohol dependence I for one can't easily forget issues without alcohol. But it helps to be sober at times sha avoid beer too much sugar.

I have read previous comments and I can tell you everyone has provided the best advice they can. OP, it's sad that you were treated this way but I am going to give my comments from a lady's perspective. My comments are going to be harsh, but I will do so with all honesty.

1. "I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy."
Unfortunately, she doesn’t love you as much as you do her.

2. "We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school."
LOL, you are still living in Disney world

3."Now this lady has been supportive all d way"
Lies!!! She has been with as a backup until she gets someone better, she only stayed by your side until she gets her type. painful, but the truth.

4. "after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have"
You made a mistake, you shouldn’t have lived with her in the first place, I’m not trying to judge you but that’s the truth.

5. "she earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there"
She now finds herself on another level, sadly, you hastened this process.

6. "She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job"


She gave you hints on the type of person she is, but since you have been blindfolded by love, you couldn’t read between the lines. Don’t be surprised if she already found someone when she started giving those excuses.

7. "but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status."
Now you have been given a forced ride to reality

8. "I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before"
Please stop doing that and stop embarrassing yourself. Her level don change and its left for you to move on

9. "She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind"
Yes, nau, her man don come. She was holding on to you until she gets her man, man of her standard with a well-paying job, big car, bigger than the car she has now. What do you expect

10. "She still loves me"
Lies! A woman who truly loves her man, would do anything to defend her man, with or without a job. So she spent seven years with a man she loves and can still imagine having a future without him, you should redefine what you mean by love because it seems you are confused

11. "Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days"
No body will stop you from doing that, but, remember whether you commit suicide or not, she will get married to the highest bidder that comes her way, have kids with him and forget you ever existed. Be smart. Don’t waste your life because of a woman.

12. "I try to let go but cant"
Why do you have such low esteem, if someone you ve been with for 7 years tells you she has found someone else. Don't you think you don’t deserve someone else or even better? You better wake up.

13. "am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back"
That will be your biggest mistake if you do that. So you want to get a job so that you win someone who dumped you over your employment status, nawa for your kind person. You better look for a job to advance yourself and your career and forget about ever winning her back even if she comes begging. She is not your wife and will not stand by you through thick and thin and sees no future in you.

OP to be honest, you have been living in Disney land for 7 years. The love you described here only exists in your head and it means absolutely nothing to her. You have devoted your time and invested your emotions trying to please someone when you should have invested on your career.

14. "She is not after riches just d basics"
You are only deceiving yourself, what would you call 35 to 40 000? She is after the riches and you don’t have it now, so she moved on , why be with someone like that?

The way forward (my opinion):

1. You should be grateful to God for removing such a woman from your life
2. Commit your life into God's hands
2. Remove this lady from your head, there are many women who will be willing to accept you despite your predicament, I’m sure they exist, but your love for this lady has blinded you. NB: Not all women are like your girl
3. Concentrate on looking for a job
4. Once you get that high paying job and she realises you are doing better than the guy she's with, (even if she is married she may try to contact you), don’t listen to her and move on


A word is enough for the wise.

hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.

How did this end? You moved on to someone else or married her?

oodua1stson:
And pls, for the sake of yourself, parents and all the men in the world over; stop begging her. How do you intend to relate with someone you begged into staying with you? What kind of fxcked up marriage do you want to have with her? Let her to forever. I'll advise you burn bridges with her so you can focus on your life



I know a man who actually married a lady who later left him because he's broke. Today the man is 100 tines better than the man she ran to. And you know what? The fxcked up lady has been sent packing by the man he ran to



Dust yourself up and be a man for once. She could even be the source of bad luck in your life and why you couldn't get a better job



Grow a pair of steel

Hahaha this your story typifies the norm with ladies. Karma's a b*tch

Rejoice5000:
Ooh i feel ur pain;ad hear this also am a woman i read all ur writeup u are in pains ad she hurt u also but in other words u are still defending her:see if she said its because of ur unemployment thats why she leave u,@ post its a lie big lie,every woman knows wat they want ad what they need even though some are too desperate why some are not:what she really need was not in u:believe me:ad no amount of beg will change her:so better forget the past ad move forward:Eg i have been in a relationship wit my ex for 9yrs i knew him from my uni days till i got a job he is ok financially ad all that;but believe me in as much as he was trying to make me happy deep down i knew he is not what i want in a future husband;he ask my hand in marriage over ad over again but i stand on my ground ad say NO NO:SO FORGET THE PAST AD MOVE FORWARD:forget the num of yrs she has been wit u;to her it means nothing:

Another confused specie spotted. You knew what you wanted in a husband but stuck in a relationship for 9 years with a guy you knew you would never marry. Who did who? Confused entities. What's the point of being in a relationship when you can't marry the individual

AreaFada2:


Tor.
Back in the day, a housewife with several kids was sponsored by her hubby to read a professional course at university. Being too poor growing up, she couldn't afford tertiary education. This economically successful but less educated guy married her and cleaned her up.
After getting her degree she moved on with another man. Suddenly!

Her relatives & in-laws begged her to stay, all in vain, she didn't listen. No reason given for her action. Everybody was shocked.

A few years down the line, her new man dumped her. Now she came begging to return to former hubby for the "kids' sake.

Her former hubby refused, because it's taboo in his culture. Now approaching 60, she has been up & down without a loving man in her life.

Is this for real ?

rikemsmedia:



Is this for real ?

As real as day & night. Two of her daughters that followed her (their father gave them the choice to stay or move with their mum, the girls went & the boys decided to stay with their dad) today have broken marriages too.

AreaFada2:


As real as day & night. Two of her daughters that followed her (their father gave them the choice to stay or move with their mum, the girls went & the boys decided to stay with their dad) today have broken marriages too.

You have a cache of bad gists buddie. I have come to notice when ladies from broken homes stay under their mother, their marriages end up broken too, the trail of bad luck continues. The woman should go beg the man for prayer. Obviously, it has become a cycle.

AreaFada2:


As real as day & night. Two of her daughters that followed her (their father gave them the choice to stay or move with their mum, the girls went & the boys decided to stay with their dad) today have broken marriages too.

You have a cache of bad gists buddie. I have come to notice when ladies from broken homes stay under their mother, their marriages end up broken too, the trail of bad luck continues. The woman should go beg the man for prayer. Obviously, it has become a cycle.

rikemsmedia:


You have a cache of bad gists buddie. I have come to notice when ladies from broken homes stay under their mother, their marriages end up broken too, the trail of bad luck continues. The woman should go beg the man for prayer. Obviously, it has become a cycle.

It comes with life experience and being observant & aware of your environment.

The matter is women often manage to brainwash their daughters and cast the hubby as a villain, even in cases where the hubby isn't. That is why many guilty women try to avoid their daughters seeing their dad. So that they never hear the truth.

In a few cases the daughters have turned to be the exact opposite. They made a determined effort not to have a broken home. Such girls are usually single-minded and able to figure things out for themselves. Therefore hard to brainwash.

AreaFada2:

It comes with life experience and being observant & aware of your environment.

The matter is women often manage to brainwash their daughters and cast the hubby as a villain, even in cases where the hubby isn't. That is why many guilty women try to avoid their daughters seeing their dad. So that they never hear the truth.

In a few cases the daughters have turned to be the exact opposite. They made a determined effort not to have a broken home. Such girls are usually single-minded and able to figure things out for themselves. Therefore hard to brainwash.

But this creates more problem " In a few cases the daughters have turned to be the exact opposite. They made a determined effort not to have a broken home. Such girls are usually single-minded and able to figure things out for themselves. Therefore hard to brainwash."

Ladies from broken homes can be problematic, especially when they don't have a male figure over them. It leads to a lot of problems down the line.

rikemsmedia:



Another confused specie spotted. You knew what you wanted in a husband but stuck in a relationship for 9 years with a guy you knew you would never marry. Who did who? Confused entities. What's the point of being in a relationship when you can't marry the individual

yes 9yrs because am not ready to settle down then,apart from it i knew wat i wanted in a man,dat was yrs back am married now wit kids.