One thing we know for sure: being in an unhappy marriage is not biblical grounds for divorce. In Mark 10:11–12 Jesus said, “A man who divorces his wife so he can marry someone else commits adultery against her. And a woman who divorces her husband so she can marry someone else commits adultery.” Based on the Bible, we see that people don’t have the right to dissolve an unhappy marriage. God intended that marriage be for a lifetime.

Ephesians 5 presents marriage as a picture of the relationship God has with us. This is one reason why God has such an interest in keeping marriages intact. Failed marriages and broken homes are devastating to the husband and wife, not to mention the children involved. Financial ruin is only one of the unhappy results of divorce. The family unit is the basic building block of any society, and rampant divorce has a tragic impact on all of the culture.

This is not to say that God wants to force us to remain forever in an unhappy marriage. He doesn't ask us to just grit our teeth and suffer through it. When God approaches marital problems, He does so from the perspective of how to fix them, not how to dissolve the marriage. For example, Paul writes of demonic impact in marriages (1 Corinthians 7:5). He states that the couple should be active in the sexual relationship so that Satan cannot tempt them. Peter encourages husbands to treat their wives with understanding so that their prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). From these passages we can see that marriage is a spiritual battlefield. It takes work to fight for the relationship, not to fight in the relationship.

God encourages us toward reconciliation. Matthew 18:15–16 demands open, honest communication that deals with hurts and frustrations caused by sin. It even encourages us to get help to resolve problems. God also calls us to find our joy or happiness in Him (Philippians 4:4). The joy of the Lord is something you can have regardless of conditions. In all of God’s guidelines for experiencing joy, none of them require a spouse to cooperate. A spouse does not control our capacity to have joy or peace. James 1:3–4 tells us that deep, abiding joy comes as we persevere through trials, with God’s help, and as our faith matures and strengthens.

The book of Philippians is a great study in the difference between joy and happiness. Written by the apostle Paul while imprisoned in Rome, this book uses the words joy, rejoice, and joyful 16 times and teaches us how to have true contentment in Jesus Christ, despite our circumstances. In chains, Paul talks about his faith and trust in Christ and how it had changed his whole perspective on suffering.

God has given husbands clear-cut instructions in Ephesians 5:25–28: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.” To wives, God’s instruction is to submit to their husbands’ leadership (verse 22) and to respect their husbands (verse 33). In a Christ-like spirit, both are to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21). If both spouses are living up to their biblical responsibilities, there will be joy and happiness in the marriage. What woman wouldn't respect and submit to a man who loves her the way Christ loves His church? And what man wouldn't love a woman who respects and submits to him? The unhappiness that is present in too many marriages is often a result of one or both parties refusing to submit to God and obey His revealed will for marriage. Sometimes the unhappiness is exacerbated by unresolved issues of one party that have leaked into the marriage. In those cases, individual counseling may be helpful in addition to marriage counseling.

Even if an unhappy marriage results from a believer being married to an unbeliever, there is always the possibility the believing spouse can lead the unbelieving spouse to the Lord by his or her chaste conduct and kind demeanor. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives” (1 Peter 3:1). The Bible specifically addresses those who are married to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12–14: “… If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

In the end, we must remember that “the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil” (1 Peter 3:12). God knows the pain of an unhappy marriage, and He understands fleshly desires, but He has given His Word to us on this matter and He does ask for obedience. Obedience to God always brings joy (Romans 16:19).

Good article, but no solution. Resolving a crisis is not just the choice of one of the partners, both parties must be ready to sheath the sword. What about if all one of the party wants is divorce, can you force him or her to remain in the marriage ?

Husbands and wives who have ended up killing their partners were able to do so because they never knew when to quit.

tpacalipse:
Husbands and wives who have ended up killing their partners were able to do so because they never knew when to quit.

Thank you jare, even the Bible has no practical solution to the greatest marital issue. What when one partner dies not want any more. The bible recommends that the innocent partner must still not marry, but wait for the partner to first die...

The Bible is the most complete book in the world, it has the solution to all life’s problems—-Pastor Seyi Akaahs (RCCG Faith Sanctuary Richmond Texas)

Based on the above, I will not even argue.

Stay in an abusive, unhappy marriage u hear. Don’t divorce till u become suicidal.

You can separate once there is abuse and it's life threatening
The problem is we want the Bible to even tell us when to pupu!

This is the major reason why you don't have to rush into any marriage, for whatever reason, Even if your family or peers force you, Wait till you meet the right one, no matter how long, Else you will marry the wrong one and be miserable for the rest of your life..

Jesus preached against quick divorce, because he wants you to wait to the right one, please don't rush this thing, take your time.

Thanks,

you got it wrong please. Being married to a non-christian has nothing to do with unhappy marriage. Paul said that because he never wanted the newly repented zealous early Christians to walk out of their partners who were yet to be converted. We have marriages where the husband or the wife is a Muslim and even total guys with no religion, yet very happy homes with their Christian partners.

This is very wonderful... I want modify this post- summarize and insert my salient points, post it on another SM platform. Am I permitted?

what if choose baby mama?

what if I choose baby mama?

That's why a thorough counseling before marriage is very important... These days once two people fall in love...next thing is IV... next two years, wahala start, they begin to look for pastor to solve problems...

kapelvej:
Good article, but no solution. Resolving a crisis is not just the choice of one of the partners, both parties must be ready to sheath the sword. What about if all one of the party wants is divorce, can you force him or her to remain in the marriage ?

H

Ok

kapelvej:
Good article, but no solution. Resolving a crisis is not just the choice of one of the partners, both parties must be ready to sheath the sword. What about if all one of the party wants is divorce, can you force him or her to remain in the marriage ?

actually I think the op misquoted Jesus Christ the statement is "of a husband divorced his wife because he want to marry another he committed adultery with her ..."

Jesus statement is clearly different from "if you are in an unhappy or violent marriage you must endure"

we just need to reread the Bible and always ask for divine explanation to whatsoever we study from the Holy Book

TRUE knowledge is fluid, social challenges get to evolve as Humanity and it's problems evolve. The bible might not be very clear on whether to divorce or not, but it's better to stay alive than die in a suicide mission.

Unhappiness can lead to depression and make somone suicidal.....
The bible reference against divorce was because of the people abusing it by divorcing their wives for no reason

Its was more of a cultural issue..some of those Jews were divorcing their wives when they get tired of them and remarrying new ones because the moses law permitted it,Jesus had to address it . A loveless relationship is a timebomb waiting to explode....I dont support it. The only grounds for divorce (adultery ) is still being rationalized by some ladies when they should find their way out of the relationship..

The bible is nothing but a book of confusion. U shud stay in an unhappy marrisge till u get insane or killed. Nonsense book

There is this book I recently purchased from Dominion bookstore, Success in Marriage, authored by Bishop David Oyedepo and wife. The book is all-encompassing. This book (and 5 others on the same subject matter) has moulded me ready for marriage. Though I'm yet to be married, but preparing towards a blissful marriage is paramount for a hitch-free marriage. You don't prepare IN marriage, you prepare FOR marriage. So aside from ''waiting for the bible to tell us when to poo'', I think we have to work towards having an Honourable marriage first, and by following biblical guidelines, God will complement our effort.

PstBiola:
One thing we know for sure: being in an unhappy marriage is not biblical grounds for divorce. In Mark 10:11–12 Jesus said, “A man who divorces his wife so he can marry someone else commits adultery against her. And a woman who divorces her husband so she can marry someone else commits adultery.” Based on the Bible, we see that people don’t have the right to dissolve an unhappy marriage. God intended that marriage be for a lifetime.

Ephesians 5 presents marriage as a picture of the relationship God has with us. This is one reason why God has such an interest in keeping marriages intact. Failed marriages and broken homes are devastating to the husband and wife, not to mention the children involved. Financial ruin is only one of the unhappy results of divorce. The family unit is the basic building block of any society, and rampant divorce has a tragic impact on all of the culture.

This is not to say that God wants to force us to remain forever in an unhappy marriage. He doesn't ask us to just grit our teeth and suffer through it. When God approaches marital problems, He does so from the perspective of how to fix them, not how to dissolve the marriage. For example, Paul writes of demonic impact in marriages (1 Corinthians 7:5). He states that the couple should be active in the sexual relationship so that Satan cannot tempt them. Peter encourages husbands to treat their wives with understanding so that their prayers will not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). From these passages we can see that marriage is a spiritual battlefield. It takes work to fight for the relationship, not to fight in the relationship.

God encourages us toward reconciliation. Matthew 18:15–16 demands open, honest communication that deals with hurts and frustrations caused by sin. It even encourages us to get help to resolve problems. God also calls us to find our joy or happiness in Him (Philippians 4:4). The joy of the Lord is something you can have regardless of conditions. In all of God’s guidelines for experiencing joy, none of them require a spouse to cooperate. A spouse does not control our capacity to have joy or peace. James 1:3–4 tells us that deep, abiding joy comes as we persevere through trials, with God’s help, and as our faith matures and strengthens.

The book of Philippians is a great study in the difference between joy and happiness. Written by the apostle Paul while imprisoned in Rome, this book uses the words joy, rejoice, and joyful 16 times and teaches us how to have true contentment in Jesus Christ, despite our circumstances. In chains, Paul talks about his faith and trust in Christ and how it had changed his whole perspective on suffering.

God has given husbands clear-cut instructions in Ephesians 5:25–28: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.” To wives, God’s instruction is to submit to their husbands’ leadership (verse 22) and to respect their husbands (verse 33). In a Christ-like spirit, both are to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21). If both spouses are living up to their biblical responsibilities, there will be joy and happiness in the marriage. What woman wouldn't respect and submit to a man who loves her the way Christ loves His church? And what man wouldn't love a woman who respects and submits to him? The unhappiness that is present in too many marriages is often a result of one or both parties refusing to submit to God and obey His revealed will for marriage. Sometimes the unhappiness is exacerbated by unresolved issues of one party that have leaked into the marriage. In those cases, individual counseling may be helpful in addition to marriage counseling.

Even if an unhappy marriage results from a believer being married to an unbeliever, there is always the possibility the believing spouse can lead the unbelieving spouse to the Lord by his or her chaste conduct and kind demeanor. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives” (1 Peter 3:1). The Bible specifically addresses those who are married to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12–14: “… If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

In the end, we must remember that “the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil” (1 Peter 3:12). God knows the pain of an unhappy marriage, and He understands fleshly desires, but He has given His Word to us on this matter and He does ask for obedience. Obedience to God always brings joy (Romans 16:19).

How about those that practiced polygamy in the bible?

kapelvej:
Good article, but no solution. Resolving a crisis is not just the choice of one of the partners, both parties must be ready to sheath the sword. What about if all one of the party wants is divorce, can you force him or her to remain in the marriage ?

You deserve an accolade for this.

You remain unhappy in it, it is for better for worse.


Labake1 where are you?

yeyerolling:
The bible is nothing but a book of confusion. U shud stay in an unhappy marrisge till u get insane or killed. Nonsense book

the laws of GOD are made for those who will keep it, and those that try to keep it are those who will have a chance at GOD'S heaven, you don't have anything to lose by trying, it might turn out to be true, as for me I already believe.

Very good article. But then, the unhappiness thing shouldn't have been married with being married to an unbeliever.

Did the man or woman not know that the mate was an unbeliever before getting unevenly yoked with such.

However, being unhappy in a marriage isn't a basis for divorce as you tightly put it.

Enemyofpeace:
You remain unhappy in it, it is for better for worse.


Labake1 where are you?

Don't ever subscribe to that school of thought that marriage is for better, and for worse; it is not biblical.
God intends for marriage to be honourable (spiritually, physically, financially etc). Marriage is a good thing- Prov. 18:22, and from the beginning, everything about marriage was VERY GOOD (God's original plan- Gen 1: 31, 2:18) until Adam sinned, and the punishment came. But thank God for Jesus Christ, our second and last Adam. With Christ in your marriage, the original plan of God for a happy and home is possible.

Softhands:
That's why a thorough counseling before marriage is very important... These days once two people fall in love...next thing is IV... next two years, wahala start, they begin to look for pastor to solve problems...

Lies. Even many of the counseling pastors are not happy in their own marriages and some end up divorcing their wives. E.g Pastor Chris. The bible you people are using to try to force unhappy people to remain together is not a credible, practical or reliable enough text to provide solutions to most relationships. It is too contradicting and ambiguous. People should be free to make rational decisions about the true state of their relationships without being teleguided by an outdated text devoid of practical solutions to their problems.

ObongawanAKS:

Don't ever subscribe

my subscription has expired

kapelvej:
Thank you jare, even the Bible has no practical solution to the greatest marital issue. What when one partner dies not want any more. The bible recommends that the innocent partner must still not marry, but wait for the partner to first die...

actually d bible gives room for separation in a marriage that can lead to one of the partner losing his/her life buh the person is to remain unmarry except on the ground of adultery..... U make d bible had to understand when it is actually a book that can make ur life better...."all scriptures is inspired by God it's beneficial for reproving, for setting things straight, for discipline in righousness visit jw.org and find more interesting thing bawt d bible that u av not heard of before

yeyerolling:
The bible is nothing but a book of confusion. U shud stay in an unhappy marrisge till u get insane or killed. Nonsense book

truth be told, u are d confused person cos u refuse to understand d bible when it is actually simple and straight forward

atoleybaba:
truth be told, u are d confused person cos u refuse to understand d bible when it is actually simple and straight forward

tell that to chris and anita