donstan18:
This thread is trying to tell us that the sole top priority of a Nigerian man or woman in his/her thirties is MARRIAGE .


True?

hahahaha Toks is a cool in matters like this but making marriage look like achievement is what I will never support.

In fact, from 30, building an empire, touching lives and seeing the world is my priority.

he who finds a wife.........

Ejiod:

You are damn right..! See as Donald trump be acting like as if he's 40years. Feeling pressure is a relativistic factor..On my side. I'm quite scared of getting married because of my visions and plan. I have a blueprint I wouldn't want marriage to disrupt

Well done.
Uncle blueprint...

ideology:
hahahaha Toks is a cool in matters like this but making marriage look like achievement is what I will never support.

In fact, from 30, building an empire, touching lives and seeing the world is my priority.

What is an achievement?

OfficialDad:
Don't allow societal rules and set down principles to force you into marriage.

If you get married and lack peace and comfort in the said marriage, then you're not better than a dead man.

Chase luxury and personal comfort first

Be wise, and yield a solid advise from a single dad.

dem no dey hear. I just hate this country and their reasoning.... Haba.. We are already 200M can't u guys just do without this stupid marriage talks?

Kai!

Toks2008:
In our early 20s we usually have all the time in the world to date and engage in romance with the opposite sex,we care less about their persona,background and intentions...often times we take for granted the very ones who sincerely desire us because at that point,commitment is the least of our worries.

Its also amazing to know that in most cases,we tend to fall in love deeply at that point in our lives when we never planned for it.

But as we grow older and we get into our 30s without any commited affair, we suddenly realize its no longer as easy as it was when we were far younger and we try to be very careful not to make mistakes and by so doing we make things even more difficult and complicated for ourselves....

Unfortunately at this stage,many subliminally develop gamophobia(fear of getting married) because there is no more time for long courtship and you don't want to marry who you don't really know,every person that looks attractive to us is a potential spouse...men see ladies at this stage as desperados. Most guys at this stage get confused and ladies at this stage become impatient and any affair running into a year or more makes them uncomfortable.

The pressure starts building from parents,friends,family members and even the social media dares not know you are single. Then we try to console ourselves with phrases such as.."Marriage is not a do or die thing,marriage is not for everyone" "it's better to remain single than rush into wrong marriage"....

The simple truth is that in most cases from a certain age, the more we advance in years,the more difficult it becomes to get married and the more careful we try to be,the more complicated it gets but only the singles at 30 upwards can understand this.

My advise to anyone in this situation is that once you see someone you feel any form of attraction to,drop your fears,do a quick due diligence on that person and if you are comfortable with your findings just take the risk and dare the consequence because no matter how long you wait and no matter how careful you may be,you can never be too sure of that person until you start living under the same roof as a couple and there is no good or bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it.

Don't know if this makes sense.

Thank God you know say this matter nor make sense

ideology:
hahahaha Toks is a cool in matters like this but making marriage look like achievement is what I will never support.

In fact, from 30, building an empire, touching lives and seeing the world is my priority.

u dey mind dem? In Nigeria marriage is an achievement... Their mates in developed world's are touching lives making discoveries tech and all that but what do we have here?

Marriage, fork, born, add to the population of 200M...

If I say I no hate these people are their reasoning, Na lie I talk.

AmericanSons:
u dey mind dem? In Nigeria marriage is an achievement... Their mates in developed world's are touching lives making discoveries tech and all that but what do we have here?

Marriage, fork, born, add to the population of 200M...

If I say I no hate these people are their reasoning, Na lie I talk.

Oga relax, at least 8-9 out of world's 10 richest men are married with kids.

You can be married and achieve your dreams, and you can decide to be unmarried and miserable.

Acidosis:


What is an achievement?

What you can achievement to you is your achievement hahaha

It's really frustrating.

Acidosis:


Oga relax, at least 8-9 out of 10 world's richest men are married with kids.

You can be married and achieve your dreams, and you can decide to be unmarried and miserable.

you are confusing yourself.

No one said marriage is not a good thing.

Just like op stated the older you are the more difficult it appears. For me that is a more reason not to give it attention.

I will rather channel my energies on something else than worry about getting married.

If it finally happens awesome!
But I will never rush into anything because have crossed 30

The world isn't even getting better. Procreating in this wicked world is not encouraging.



Nigeria's population as at 1960 was 18,000,000
Today we are about 180,000,000.

ideology:
you are confusing yourself.
No one said marriage is not a good thing.

Are you sure you read the post I quoted?

For once, I absolutely agree with you! Although, you didn't reckon females are super scared too...who wants to be pushed to kill or be killed? Who wants to be pushed into the devil's advocate or have one in one's backyard? Me wey no like wahala, you raise your voice once peren...I give Bolt a run for his money

pocohantas:


Okay, so when are you all going to marry us?
We are in this together, let's epp ourselves

Stop sounding desperate. .I know you are trying to mask it as a joke with sarcasm.

It is one of the reason you came to romance section but along the way you find out that majority of the men here are waec and Jambites.

The few ones that flatter you with asslicking..deep deep down you know there is a red flag somewhere.

The few good ones that have something going for them...(rare though ). But they don't see you like that but as an enigma that changes with the wind. They just talk with you or poke at you. That is it.

You are smart ..you have already figured all this out( and also with the first hand experience you had here) but at the end of the day a woman needs attention( no matter from which direction )

If you are looking for husband or any serious romance..nairaland ( romance section ) is not for you expecially someone of your age and character.

All hope is not lost..yes, it is rare for 30yrd+ old man to marry a 30 yr+ old woman( at least in Nigeria)..it happens but rare but all hope is not lost...you still have many options. ..
1)men above 50yrs ( who may just say fvck it..let do this)
2) single fathers
3)widowers
4)Divorcee
Etc

But you can have you cake( the is the rare circumstances ).

if you are from a very wealthy family..then a nigger will just say let me do it for the money and connection even if it means closing my eyes. Economy dey some how

( I didn't say if you are rich)

Nb
ANYWAY , all this will not stop you from receiving prick..niggers can Bleep anything sha. .and they can smell an oldie a mile away( no matter the packaging and smartness)

As I said before..You know what's up.

You will make a good baby mama or a mistress or on the flip side ..a dangerous cougar who preys on young boys.

Espada10:


Stop sounding desperate. .I know you are trying to mask it as a joke with sarcasm.

It is one of the reason you came to romance section but along the way you find out that majority of the men here are waec and Jambites.

The few ones that flatter you with asslicking..deep deep down you know there is a red flag somewhere.

The few good ones that have something going for them...(rare though ). But they don't see you like that but as an enigma that changes with the wind. They just talk with you or poke at you. That is it.

You are smart ..you have already figured all this out( and also with the first hand experience you had here) but at the end of the day a woman needs attention( no matter from which direction )

If you are looking for husband or any serious romance..nairaland ( romance section ) is not for you expecially someone of your age and character.

All hope is not lost..yes, it is rare for 30yrd+ old man to marry a 30 yr+ old woman( at least in Nigeria)..it happens but rare but all hope is not lost...you still have many options. ..
1)men above 50yrs ( who may just say fvck it..let do this)
2) single fathers
3)widowers
4)Divorcee
Etc

But you can have you cake( the is the rare circumstances ).

if you are from a very wealthy family..then a nigger will just say let me do it for the money and connection even if it means closing my eyes. Economy dey some how

( I didn't say if you are rich)

Nb
ANYWAY , all this will not stop you from receiving prick..niggers can Bleep anything sha. .and they can smell an oldie a mile away( no matter the packaging and smartness)

As I said before..You know what's up.

You will make a good baby mama or a mistress or on the flip side ..a dangerous cougar who preys on young boys.

Na me get all this one?
Chai!

RuthDaniels:
Because there comes a time in marriage mostly after ten years when the test comes. Then only compatibility ,commitment and friendship holds the marriage. Groom your relationship, build your courtship, know yourselves then walk down the aisle.

Well said. I always tell people. The best way to have a happy home is to marry your friend. Friendship begot compatibility, compatibility begot love. Love begot happiness, tolerance & peace.

The travails are numerous, especially when you are the first issue in ur family.

Acidosis:


Oga relax, at least 8-9 out of 10 world's richest men are married with kids.

You can be married and achieve your dreams, and you can decide to be unmarried and miserable.

I am not against it. I am against the too much concentration. Haba... Are we the only one in the world?

Abeg I no fit kill myself. Things like this drive people into the wrong hands, until they become miserable.

People who carry this marriage talks for head have led a lot of others into miserable marriage. Some even go as far as matching people together.

When I was still in school, our neighbor almost got my sister married. Like WTF. He started jokingly but we had to tell him to stop. Today, my sister is married to a man that loves her and us, so much that he does his best to make sure everything is fine.

I saw another one did same stunt to someone close to me, bugging the young man's life with marriage talk, every call is turned to marriage talk, while the dude was chasing a multi-million naira deal that was being threatened at that time... Imagine calling someone to greet them and 2 minutes into the call it turns to, "who are u dating now" "when are u getting married" and all that. I mean dude was forking worried about his deal he has worked hard for in last 1 year and it's being threatened, to which the bone head never knew what he has been through but he still manage to call 3 times and all you do in this instances is talk about marriage. Dude had to send text next day to warn him to put a complete stop to it.

Everybody should have their priorities and you don't have any forking right telling anyone to get married since you won't bear a kobo of the cost that comes with it.

ideology:


What you can achievement to you is your achievement hahaha

Lol, you can't even define an achievement. That's a pointer to the fact that no one has a one size fits all approach to life.

I agree society should not force or pressure women or men into this marriage thing. The pressure in Nigeria seems more because the entire political structure is weak, the future is even weaker. That woman in her 40s in the developed world knows she can always get the best fertility doctors and clinics whenever she's ready to birth. Even when she can't conceive, government's structures will handle her wellbeing upon retirement or old age.

You can't say the same thing for folks back in Nigeria. How many specialist fertility doctors do you have? How many families can afford IVFs? How many can even afford the illegal baby factories? How many old people's home do you have in your state? Who pays the bills?

It is a structural problem, and societal pressures sometimes don't go out of place. Mind you, it isn't only about marriage, but about everything including education. I bet you went to school because your parents wanted you to go, or your friends went to school so you felt it was the proper thing to do.

It doesn't work that way in the US, a lot don't care about college any longer because, with or without college, the future is bright.

As soon as you start working in Nigeria, people start advising you to buy land, that's why we have lots of shantytowns in the name of "real estate", it doesn't work that way in the developed climes. Government has provided a structure so people don't care. You cant be homeless even if you use your 35 years salaries on gambles. In Nigeria, the problem is structural and only the right political leaders can effect a change.

When you talked about 'if the marriage fails', I was like are you planing for failure? Please be positive

RuthDaniels:
[b]Societal rules are mostly the reasons why people get married these days, Most people in their last thirties are pressured by thoughts of "when will you get married "? "what will people say"? "All my younger ones are married, when will I?". All these thoughts have led people astray.

Left to me, I believe an individual shouldn't be pressured into marriage. Yes you are getting old, people are asking questions but if you think deep, you will realize that these people won't be in the marriage with you. They will also blame you, call you names if you marriage fails, so why listen to them in the first place?

That said, Not everyone we see is a potential spouse, Never base your relationship or marriage on attractions alone! Compatibility and friendship matters a lot. Because there comes a time in marriage mostly after ten years when the test comes. Then only compatibility ,commitment and friendship holds the marriage. Groom your relationship, build your courtship, know yourselves then walk down the aisle. it is better to be late than be late! [/b]

AmericanSons:
dem no dey hear. I just hate this country and their reasoning.... Haba.. We are already 200M can't u guys just do without this stupid marriage talks?

Kai!

The matter tire me. Marriage, sex and nothing else. Nah when we reach 900million people dem go understand ni ?

People don't seems to reason beyond this marriage issue, it seems their existence depends on it.

pocohantas:


Well done.
Uncle blueprint...

these days blueprint sells faster than marriage. But I'm open to any lady that can help me sell it to any stock market not in Nigeria

greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.

God bless you for this��

AmericanSons:
dem no dey hear. I just hate this country and their reasoning.... Haba.. We are already 200M can't u guys just do without this stupid marriage talks?

Kai!

Bro, if you don't like marriage, just dey your lane and enjoy your single life. Allow others to marry if they want to. It's a free world!

sisisioge:


For once, I absolutely agree with you! Although, you didn't reckon females are super scared too...who wants to be pushed to kill or be killed? Who wants to be pushed into the devil's advocate or have one in one's backyard? Me wey no like wahala, you raise your voice once peren...I give Bolt a run for his money

walahi talahi, me i no get am for wahala, 4my side fimales ar 4 nt supad scad ,me na do u jejeni, me no get ham 4 devil advaacate 4 backyard, me no go raise ham 4 voice peren ,kwor!, bolt i dey mad? why bolt 4 run wit ur money? me go colect ham ur money kwata kwata for bolt fokett, , yoorwaa

Espada10:


Stop sounding desperate. .I know you are trying to mask it as a joke with sarcasm.

It is one of the reason you came to romance section but along the way you find out that majority of the men here are waec and Jambites.

The few ones that flatter you with asslicking..deep deep down you know there is a red flag somewhere.

The few good ones that have something going for them...(rare though ). But they don't see you like that but as an enigma that changes with the wind. They just talk with you or poke at you. That is it.

You are smart ..you have already figured all this out( and also with the first hand experience you had here) but at the end of the day a woman needs attention( no matter from which direction )

If you are looking for husband or any serious romance..nairaland ( romance section ) is not for you expecially someone of your age and character.

All hope is not lost..yes, it is rare for 30yrd+ old man to marry a 30 yr+ old woman( at least in Nigeria)..it happens but rare but all hope is not lost...you still have many options. ..
1)men above 50yrs ( who may just say fvck it..let do this)
2) single fathers
3)widowers
4)Divorcee
Etc

But you can have you cake( the is the rare circumstances ).

if you are from a very wealthy family..then a nigger will just say let me do it for the money and connection even if it means closing my eyes. Economy dey some how

( I didn't say if you are rich)

Nb
ANYWAY , all this will not stop you from receiving prick..niggers can Bleep anything sha. .and they can smell an oldie a mile away( no matter the packaging and smartness)

As I said before..You know what's up.

You will make a good baby mama or a mistress or on the flip side ..a dangerous cougar who preys on young boys.

I shouldn't talk but it sounds from ur reasoning that u look like jambites... In life there's what I call Social intelligence. Try reading Robert Greene books. Sorry if I was rude to you but.....

Acidosis:


Lol, you can't even define an achievement. That's a pointer to the fact that no one has a one size fits all approach to life.

I agree society should not force or pressure women or men into this marriage thing. The pressure in Nigeria seems more because the entire political structure is weak, the future is even weaker. That woman in her 40s in the developed world knows she can always get the best fertility doctors and clinics whenever she's ready to birth. Even when she can't conceive, government's structures will handle her wellbeing upon retirement or old age.

You can't say the same thing for folks back in Nigeria. How many specialist fertility doctors do you have? How many families can afford IVFs? How many can even afford the illegal baby factories? How many old people's home do you have in your state? Who pays the bills?

It is a structural problem, and societal pressures sometimes don't go out of place. Mind you, it isn't only about marriage, but about everything including education. I bet you went to school because your parents wanted you to go, or your friends went to school so you felt it was the proper thing to do.

It doesn't work that way in the US, a lot don't care about college any longer because, with or without college, the future is bright.

As soon as you start working in Nigeria, people start advising you to buy land, that's why we have lots of shantytowns in the name of "real estate", it doesn't work that way in the developed climes. Government has provided a structure so people don't care. You cant be homeless even if you use your 35 years salaries on gambles. In Nigeria, the problem is structural and only the right political leaders can effect a change.

Lol. I can relate to the land thing

I always always turn it down. The two places I was taken to, you could clearly see that it was poised to be overrun by the other shantytown close to it. One was on the cusp of being overrun by gully erosion. Although I was assured it won't happen

The problem is really structural here.

My parents called me and told me last year that before I reach 30, they would like to see the person I have in mind to get married to. That they are not putting pressure on me, they just want to see. It was very funny because in saying that, they were already doing it. Now as I'm getting into my late 20s, I sometimes avoid their call when I sense it may be connected to the fact that they are 'worried' about not seeing me around with any girl. It sometimes doesn't help that we are in the same town.

But it is what it is. Leave it as it is and I'll rather just have kids and most likely not settle down. Committing to one person was attractive once; not anymore.

oxygenlove:
walahi talahi, me i no get am for wahala, 4my side fimales ar 4 nt supad scad ,me na do u jejeni, me no get ham 4 devil advaacate 4 backyard, me no go raise ham 4 voice peren ,kwor!, bolt i dey mad? why bolt 4 run wit ur money? me go colect ham ur money kwata kwata for bolt fokett, , yoorwaa

It was so painful reading that! Don't quote me again biko.

DonPiiko:
Lool you are a smallie, it wasn't me that sent a PM that's an imposter. I don't think you should reply him.

OK sir

Acidosis:


Please if you're going to be a baby daddy, ensure you're rich! Don't go and be a baby daddy and be living in one or two room apartment in Oshodi or Agege. The baby daddy thing is working for Davido, Wizkid, even extremely wealthy US celebrities like Nelly because they are rich.

These guys are rich enough to buy themselves any kind of friendship, any kind of girlfriend, so technically speaking, they can never be lonely at any point of their lives, the loneliness that comes with being single will be completely eliminated since money is involved.

If you turn out to be a poor baby daddy, even your own baby will avoid you like a plaque and probably lay curses on you. Family is the only thing that will stick with you like a glue through thick and thin, not your baby mama or girlfriend.

Beyond sex (which you can buy anyways), marriage tends to fill that gap (of loneliness) and lack of genuine friendship.

I'm of the opinion that everyone should make their choices, good choices, but let's be guided please. Being a baby daddy is not a license to freedom, it can become more complicated, when you're not properly guided.

I'm rich and I don't need all the emotional bullsh*t of family and marriage, neither do I think my child will need it...Thank you for your advice

Jman06:
Bro, if you don't like marriage, just dey your lane and enjoy your single life. Allow others to marry if they want to. It's a free world!

and who is saying they shouldn't? Can you guys just live life without talking about marriage?

pocohantas:


Na me get all this one?
Chai!

Bet you are so popular in that romance section...they can't help loving you even when they mask it. Hmmm, must be fun being you

I hope that handle isn't another sub of the previous bintin ...that dude is crozy about you