Lakeside79:
SMH
When you refused to stand I assumed it was in a very obvious way and everyone noticed ...

I don't think it's about your refusal to stand but how you did it..

Either way what is done is done no use crying over spilt orange juice

Now it seems you never eat liked the church then why do you attend it in the first place ?

Marriage isn't bondage where you force yourself to do things you just don't feel good doing..hence communication, you need to sit with your husband and explain your feelings to him about the church I am sure he will understand...

Either way now is a good time to change Church since this whole drama seems to have escalated and also you need to worry leess about people and what they think about you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone then it's just dirt in your shoulder

Sit with your hubby and have a chat with him about switching to a new church then next time you run into the pastor in public ask him if you may be sitted

Stop worrying it's not such a big deal .. but if you want to remain in that church not because of anyone but because you like it then if they demand an apology just give on and remain there

Life is about compromise but your happiness is Paramount

Best advice given!

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RealAdewole:
the Bible did not actually say you must stand up while praying, standing is just a way for people not to doze off while praying
but there is no way you will explain to some so-called pastor that they will not see something diabolical about it

a pray you see favour from your husband side and I hope he will be the understanding type


God will save us all from all these pastors one day

When instruction comes from the altar, its for your own benefit. Why go to Church when you cannot obey simple instruction. Even in the place of prayer, obedience is key.

If you are alone, you can pray anyhow you like but when it comes to group prayers, the person leading the prayer is the authority at that moment and instructions coming from the altar should be obeyed

Berlyn1:
for your mind , you are doing your family a favor

Yes a very big favour, I wish I could do the opposite .

Madam. .relax your mind and the only one u need to explain yourself to is your husband. You didn't do anything wrong. .

@ RandyX , thanks so much...I'll do as uve said.....
@

Wiseandtrue:

You are scared of his decision and you are behaving the opposite

Sometimes you don't have to wash your dirty linens in the public

We're you tired to stand or just being stubborn

I personally believe that your belief should be between you and God but do it wisely

You could stand up then excuse yourself if you weren't able to stand for long

Gradually you will sort it out with your husband!

You need to go and see the pastor and explain yourself before the d-day to prevent what you are afraid of

I was too tired to stand and had stomach cramps in the process, so I was going to reluctantly stand and then he started saying, look at how reluctantly she wants to stand, or are u pregnant?, this one shouldnt be a member of the choir oo, stand up now, which I did, immediately the prayer started I bent my head backwards towards the chair and after few minutes I sat, my anger wasn't even about standing, what infuriated me most was that he saw that I was down and weak but he felt he wanted to do me a favour by asking me pray whatever problems I came with off....That I don't believe in.

UnknownQueen:


I sat all through the vigil cos I had no strength to pray and shake my head like every other person was doing, at some point in the vigil I was having stomach cramps, and I was just managing hoping the vigil will come to an end fast, so when he asked everyone to stand and face another direction, i turned but was sitted and then he said ( who is that one sitted dere, can't u hear that I said stand, so I reluctantly stood and bent my head towards the chair arm, and then he started with, is she pregnant, or ure having cold, this one is not supposed to be among the choir, amongst other things he said, at that point I was angry and I didn't bulge, my pastor came to me and started hitting me at the back I still didn't say anything until the vigil ended...The following day the choir coordinator called me and I apologized, only for me to come for rehearsals the day after and she said she spoke with the members but they said they're dissatisfied with my apologies ...So she said every one will meet tomorrow and all decide what the outcome of my punishment will be, so I'm thinking two things, it's either an indefinite suspension or apologies to the whole big church.....

I've been thinking of doing a recap of what happened right before and just tell everyone of them to remove the beam in their own eyes before removing the moth in mine, but after due consultation from some people they said I should just apologize for the sake of my family (husband, kid and expectant child).

Yes I do not like the church, but overtime I've been able to adjust to their settings because of my family....I attended the church due to marriage..

My husband is very understanding and also a very committed member of the church, it will almost be impossible for him to leave the church cos of my plights and problems....I'm sure he will not also have me attend a different church while he attends his...and I'm sure if this happens , it will take a huge toll on our children...

Sincerely I'm in a big dilemma, I actually do know myself, if I'm forced to apologize in front of the church I'll make things worse....I'll be pushed to say unwarranted things no matter how had I try....

they are right. You probably should serve your punishment and move on. You had no reason whatsoever to be in the choir if you do not wholeheartedly believe in the ductrines of that church.

What you did is more of rebellion, if you are a Christian you would know from versions examples in the Bible that God doesn't support rebellion in His house no matter tge condition.

If you don't like a church or their ductrines just silently leave

. Just humbly serve your punishment and move on.

UnknownQueen:


Hi bro.....To think the church i attend is an Anglican Church, but the said preacher on that day was an invited guest (C.A.C pastor), And u know how radical those guys are....forcing there manner and style of prayer down ur throat.....I have never been a fan of that , but unfortunately I was caught in the web, I wanted to give the Pastor the piece of my mind right at the moment but I kept my cool just because of my family.....I really wished I could see the Pastor..I'll remind him of all that WENT down btw us.

what WENT down pls explain

UnknownQueen:


I sat all through the vigil cos I had no strength to pray and shake my head like every other person was doing, at some point in the vigil I was having stomach cramps, and I was just managing hoping the vigil will come to an end fast, so when he asked everyone to stand and face another direction, i turned but was sitted and then he said ( who is that one sitted dere, can't u hear that I said stand, so I reluctantly stood and bent my head towards the chair arm, and then he started with, is she pregnant, or ure having cold, this one is not supposed to be among the choir, amongst other things he said, at that point I was angry and I didn't bulge[b], my pastor came to me and started hitting me at the back[/b] I still didn't say anything until the vigil ended...The following day the choir coordinator called me and I apologized, only for me to come for rehearsals the day after and she said she spoke with the members but they said they're dissatisfied with my apologies ...So she said every one will meet tomorrow and all decide what the outcome of my punishment will be, so I'm thinking two things, it's either an indefinite suspension or apologies to the whole big church.....

I've been thinking of doing a recap of what happened right before and just tell everyone of them to remove the beam in their own eyes before removing the moth in mine, but after due consultation from some people they said I should just apologize for the sake of my family (husband, kid and expectant child).

Yes I do not like the church, but overtime I've been able to adjust to their settings because of my family....I attended the church due to marriage..

My husband is very understanding and also a very committed member of the church, it will almost be impossible for him to leave the church cos of my plights and problems....I'm sure he will not also have me attend a different church while he attends his...and I'm sure if this happens , it will take a huge toll on our children...

Sincerely I'm in a big dilemma, I actually do know myself, if I'm forced to apologize in front of the church I'll make things worse....I'll be pushed to say unwarranted things no matter how had I try....

And your husband couldn't try to stop the pastor from hitting you, even at your condition? This is really not acceptable. That's why I can't marry an over religious person.

A pastor once did something similar to me when I was younger. He felt I wasn't dancing enough and decided to call me out to dance in front of the church(imagine such embarrassment). First he called a lady out, who he accused of similar offence, and humiliated her in front of the congregation . When it was my turn, I simply told him point blank, that am not doing it. He was shocked. He came to me and asked why I decided to disobey a servant of God, I demanded that he hands over his micro phones to me, so I can say my reasons to everyones hearing. Sensing I might say something nasty, he refused and left.
Marriage is not easy at all, dealing with over religious man, who doesn't see anything wrong with a fake pastor hitting his wife, even at her condition. You should have worned him seriously not to hit you again.
Don't apologise, if you do, next time he will hit you harder or even ask you to kneel down in front of congregation. Just tell them, your doctor advised you not to over stress yourselves. If is not acceptable, tell them to go to hell !!

WhoBeThisMan:
they are right. You probably should serve your punishment and move on. You had no reason whatsoever to be in the choir if you do not wholeheartedly believe in the ductrines of that church.

What you did is more of rebellion, if you are a Christian you would know from versions examples in the Bible that God doesn't support rebellion in His house no matter tge condition.

If you don't like a church or their ductrines just silently leave

. Just humbly serve your punishment and move on.

Oga abeg park well . Didn't you read where she stated she is an expectant mother ? If it was the pastors wife, will he hit her like that ? Who even punishes the pastor, when he does something wrong ? Nonsense

kense88:
Oga abeg park well . Didn't you read where she stated she is an expectant mother ? If it was the pastors wife, will he hit her like that ? Who even punishes the pastor, when he does something wrong ? Nonsense

are you a Christian? If you are truly one and you know your bible you won't talk like that. Rebellion in church or on the house of God is a serious thing with God. Even if the church is a small church praying the "wrong way" according to her judgment.

The best thing is this, humbly face the punishment and when you are done go to another church you feel comfortable with so as not to grieve the Holy spirit.

I'm sure the punishment is not anything serious

religion sef

WhoBeThisMan:
what WENT down pls explain

When I see him again, I'll remind him of everything he said to me at the vigil, how he was making unnecessary jests saying Amen and Awomen when people's voices weren't loud enough, I'll also remind him of how he revolted and left his main church and went ahead to establish his own church thereby packing a whole lot of members with him when he couldn't be obedient and submissive to his boss.....This are the things I'll remind him of ....I've done it before and I can do it again, but I just don't want problems for my family...I'm just caught in a web...but trust me if I'm giving the microphone to talk , I'll say things that are not unwarranted no matter how hard I try...I don't think I'm sane enough to just let things slide especially when the reality is everything he asked me to do is against my faith and still they want an apology for it, trust me it will not be easy, if I actually do that ,I'll never be able to forgive myself...

WhoBeThisMan:
they are right. You probably should serve your punishment and move on. You had no reason whatsoever to be in the choir if you do not wholeheartedly believe in the ductrines of that church.

What you did is more of rebellion, if you are a Christian you would know from versions examples in the Bible that God doesn't support rebellion in His house no matter tge condition.

If you don't like a church or their ductrines just silently leave

. Just humbly serve your punishment and move on.

I have no problems with serving punishment bro, if it's what they want it's fine na...I can't force my self to be part of a group where I'm not accepted due to my actions, but continuing to attend the church is what I'm worried about cos obviously It would be more of pain to me going to church,and my hubby I'm sure would be displeased if I attend a different church......I'm sure he won't accept it.....

UnknownQueen:


I was too tired to stand and had stomach cramps in the process, so I was going to reluctantly stand and then he started saying, look at how reluctantly she wants to stand, or are u pregnant?, this one shouldnt be a member of the choir oo, stand up now, which I did, immediately the prayer started I bent my head backwards towards the chair and after few minutes I sat, my anger wasn't even about standing, what infuriated me most was that he saw that I was down and weak but he felt he wanted to do me a favour by asking me pray whatever problems I came with off....That I don't believe in.

So the cramp normally happens when you are in the church

You need a conviction within yourself shall on why you have to believe in the ALMIGHTY and not be forced to go to church.

While you are at It, to avoid calamity in your marriage like I said do it wisely before your husband thinks the reason for your avoidance is because you are possess!

Some pastors can be overzealous so don't allow anyone to cause katakata for your marriage

This is Africa! Go and see the pastor first so that next time he sees you or someone sitting he would realise that the person might be in pains.

Talk more with your husband, let him understand you. Remember that your children are also watching, don't pass a wrong message across!

Are unemployed or a house wife

UnknownQueen:


I have no problems with serving punishment bro, if it's what they want it's fine na...I can't force my self to be part of a group where I'm not accepted due to my actions, but continuing to attend the church is what I'm worried about cos obviously It would be more of pain to me going to church,and my hubby I'm sure would be displeased if I attend a different church......I'm sure he won't accept it.....

Do you know why the Christian faith has so many denominations? Its because there is a church for every one. One person may not feel accepted in Catholic Church, but feels at home in christ embassy and vise vasser.

You don't have to attend the church after this. Just go to a place where your heart is settled, a place where you can grow spiritually. Pray and God will direct you.

Just don't be rebellious

UnknownQueen:



When I see him again, I'll remind him of everything he said to me at the vigil, how he was making unnecessary jests saying Amen and Awomen when people's voices weren't loud enough, I'll also remind him of how he revolted and left his main church and went ahead to establish his own church thereby packing a whole lot of members with him when he couldn't be obedient and submissive to his boss.....This are the things I'll remind him of ....I've done it before and I can do it again, but I just don't want problems for my family...I'm just caught in a web...but trust me if I'm giving the microphone to talk , I'll say things that are not unwarranted no matter how hard I try...I don't think I'm sane enough to just let things slide especially when the reality is everything he asked me to do is against my faith and still they want an apology for it, trust me it will not be easy, if I actually do that ,I'll never be able to forgive myself...

calm down I know how you feel. You know I was once in a very funny situation myself, though not as bad as yours. My former church pastor laughed me to scorn because of a very valid idea I gave him. He made me feel stupid. I was so angry.

But I just looked away from all that and moved on to a church I felt accepted and knew I could grow spiritually.

Don't confront him., pls don't. Hold your self in. Serve the pirnishment and move on. It can't be so bad

Wiseandtrue:

So the cramp normally happens when you are in the church

You need a conviction within yourself shall on why you have to believe in the ALMIGHTY and not be forced to go to church.

While you are at It, to avoid calamity in your marriage like I said do it wisely before your husband thinks the reason for your avoidance is because you are possess!

Some pastors can be overzealous so don't allow anyone to cause katakata for your marriage

This is Africa! Go and see the pastor first so that next time he sees you or someone sitting he would realise that the person might be in pains.

Talk more with your husband, let him understand you. Remember that your children are also watching, don't pass a wrong message across!

Are unemployed or a house wife

The Pastor is an invited guest...

I've seen my own pastor and he understands me well , he only said he understands that I wasn't feeling too okay but I should have just stayed at home instead of coming but of course he wasn't happy that all that scene happened in his own church.

As regards my faith, I didn't say I don't believe in God , I'm just not a religious person......I'm convinced about my beliefs and faith in the creator and I stand by it......

I'm not a full time housewife, I'm self employed, I run a laundry business and into some side jobs.

UnknownQueen:


The Pastor is an invited guest...

I've seen my own pastor and he understands me well , he only said he understands that I wasn't feeling too okay but I should have just stayed at home instead of coming but of course he wasn't happy that all that scene happened in his own church.

As regards my faith, I didn't say I don't believe in God , I'm just not a religious person......I'm convinced about my beliefs and faith in the creator and I stand by it......

I'm not a full time housewife, I'm self employed, I run a laundry business and into some side jobs.

A visiting pastor Then he made that remark openly

He could have called you afterwards and reprimand you if need be.

The Church is not your pastors it's the Lords

If truly he understood you, then he should have just advise you and move on.

Your occupation is not an easy one coupled with the fact that you have other domestic chores and children to look after

Women are really trying

It's your husband who needs to understand you more and like I said when next such happens and he insists you go with him, go then excuse yourself then when you feel better, you join the congregation again

Someday, he would see the efforts you are putting in and he will understand

Men's reactions are different from each other, he would come around

Wiseandtrue:

A visiting pastor Then he made that remark openly

He could have called you afterwards and reprimand you if need be.

The Church is not your pastors it's the Lords

If truly he understood you, then he should have just advise you and move on.

Your occupation is not an easy one coupled with the fact that you have other domestic chores and children to look after

Women are really trying

It's your husband who needs to understand you more and like I said when next such happens and he insists you go with him, go then excuse yourself then when you feel better, you join the congregation again

Someday, he would see the efforts you are putting in and he will understand

Men's reactions are different from each other, he would come around

The laundry Job is a discussion for another day....Not easy is an understatement, it's terribly not easy @ all....
I'll go for the verdict today and brief the house pn how everything unfolds.......

There was a way out at the beginning of this mess, but pride didn't let you see it.
When he asked if you were pregnant or cold, a simple YES would have ended the drama. but because you felt he was praying the wrong way, you ignored him.
Another chance presented itself when your pastor came to you, but you ignored him too (if you had told him you weren't ok then, shit wouldn't have gotten to this stage)
IMO, the only way out (if you want to keep your home) is to apologize to the church. leaving the church will only damage your husband's reputation in the church and his work place to an extent (i remember you said he got his job thru a vip in the church).

UnknownQueen:



The laundry Job is a discussion for another day....Not easy is an understatement, it's terribly not easy @ all....
I'll go for the verdict today and brief the house pn how everything unfolds.......

I wish you the best and God who sees everything directs you in what to do and say.

All the best!

Wiseandtrue:

I wish you the best and God who sees everything directs you in what to do and say.

All the best!

Thanks dear.

WhoBeThisMan:
they are right. You probably should serve your punishment and move on. You had no reason whatsoever to be in the choir if you do not wholeheartedly believe in the ductrines of that church.

What you did is more of rebellion, if you are a Christian you would know from versions examples in the Bible that God doesn't support rebellion in His house no matter tge condition.

If you don't like a church or their ductrines just silently leave

. Just humbly serve your punishment and move on.

this is what I termed ' reasoning from the anus'

Holymann:
There was a way out at the beginning of this mess, but pride didn't let you see it.
When he asked if you were pregnant or cold, a simple YES would have ended the drama. but because you felt he was praying the wrong way, you ignored him.
Another chance presented itself when your pastor came to you, but you ignored him too (if you had told him you weren't ok then, shit wouldn't have gotten to this stage)
IMO, the only way out (if you want to keep your home) is to apologize to the church. leaving the church will only damage your husband's reputation in the church and his work place to an extent (i remember you said he got his job thru a vip in the church).

I wasn't standing close to the Pastor, he spotted me from afar, and asked from the altar , so u expected me to shout from where I was that I was pregnant so he could hear me


When my pastor came to hit me at the back, I already covered myself up with my wrapper and I couldn't see him but I knew he was the one hitting me, but I didn't say anything because I was madly provoked already, yes I was provoked and couldn't react to him at that moment......

Yes I've been thinking of the consequences my today's actions would have on my family (husband and children) I've accepted to apologize for the sake of my family....but continuing going to the church is a no no ....Cos henceforth things can never be right, besides I'll be going to church to warm the bench just like I've been doing, but it will be worse after the scene that played out between the invited preacher and I.

adontcare:
this is what I termed ' reasoning from the anus'

urs?

UnknownQueen:
Hi everyone, Goodafternoon .......
I hope someone gives me a listening ear here...
I'm a lady of diverse views and beliefs about religion, let's just say I'm a Christian because I'm married to a Christian, I have a child and I'm expectant of the next...I follow my hubby to church just to make him happy...I'm a member of the choir because I've got a great voice and I love to sing.....
Something happened recently to me....
I went for a vigil and the preacher (invited guest), started prayers, even as a regular Christian, I ain't a fan of shaking body and head vigorously when praying, so the preacher insisted EVERYONE stands, but I rebelled and refused to do as he says, and because he noticed that I was a member of the choir, he said right from the altar that I ain't supposed to be a minister, immediately my heart sank, the following day, The issues generated lots of controversies in the church, and the group has decided to punish me, I don't know what the punishment will be, but I guess it will either be an indefinite suspension or I'm being asked to apologize to the whole church....
Normally, if I weren't married, I would leave the church with immediate effect, as I do not think I should be forced to pray in a way and manner I do not believe in...
But I'm married, my husband would not have himself and the kid go to another church, while I stay at home...Or have us go to separate churches...
I'm also thinking of what effect this would have on my kid and my home (marriage) in general

Listen, my dear, I am the friend of God.

Don't let anyone boss you around in the body of Our Lord. The body does not belong to any man. It belongs to Jesus the Christ.

This setting called church denomination is silently becoming a CULT

Members no longer have free will.

Even God gave us free will. Nothing is by force with God.

Church denomination is gradually becoming a problem rather than a blessing.

That was how one G.O said if u don't pay tithe you won't make heaven. Full stop!

femi4:
When instruction comes from the altar, its for your own benefit. Why go to Church when you cannot obey simple instruction. Even in the place of prayer, obedience is key.

If you are alone, you can pray anyhow you like but when it comes to group prayers, the person leading the prayer is the authority at that moment and instructions coming from the altar should be obeyed

even when you have arthritis or pregnant?

and hope you know that the woman in question is pregnant
a church setting should be built and centred around love