I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

Op. I understand the single mother aspect. I have come to realize that 80% of all single mothers have one of two problems. Its either that they are totally dull about everything in life to the extent that no man is interested in managing their intellectual deficiency, or they are outrightly wayward to the extent that no man wants to be a party to their stupid ideology about what a marital union should look like.

In your own case , however, you just dodged a bullet. As far as "Nigeria" is concerned , church is where you find the most useless and heartless con artists, starting from the pastor, therefore , the combination of a single mother you met in church is equal to natural disaster .

Again op. You just dodged a bullet. If I were you I will be dancing like David for this new life god has given you.I mean the real God and not the god of Nigerian pastors.

Guys shine yah eyes

Make Ogun kii me iffa marry a Single Mother

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

True, but maybe not in all cases tho....

Netanyahu1:
Op. I understand the single mother aspect. I have come to realize that 80% of all single mothers have one of two problems. Its either that they are totally dull about everything in life to the extent that no man is interested in managing their intellectual deficiency, or they are outrightly wayward to the extent that no man wants to be a party to their stupid ideology about what a marital union should look like.

In your own case , however, you just dodged a bullet. As far as "Nigeria" is concerned , church is where you find the most useless and heartless con artists, starting from the pastor, therefore , the combination of a single mother you met in church is equal to natural disaster .

Again op. You just dodged a bullet. If I were you I will be dancing like David for this new life god has given you.I mean the real God and not the god of Nigerian pastors.

Spot on.

It's crazy to think someone could pretend and act a different person for a long time. People should just beware of those mature single ladies they see in churches today.

post=68129414:
At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

True, but maybe not in all cases tho....

Not in all case but in most cases. For a lady of her age to think marriage is just about having children then it's obvious she just wants to marry out of societal pressure not because she genuinely care about getting married to someone..

No beef, but personally i might only marry a single mother if she's single because she's widowed. Any other reason is a No-No. Its the height of cuckoldery having to raise another man's kid while putting up with her 'entitlement mentality'. I'll only 'pump and dump' thatz all. Sound harsh, but thats the way it is. Remember the old adage, "she single for a reason" and that reason is usually bad. She didnt have the patience/good judgement to make it work with her baby daddy (even for the sake of the kid), why should she stick with you. The cons of dating SMs are just more than the pros - not worth it imho. Why settle for used goods when there's plenty of fresh ones about.

Read this too: http://www.returnofkings.com/84026/5-reasons-you-should-never-date-a-single-mother

Brethren be wise!

YemiHadid:
No beef, but personally i might only marry a single mother if she's single because she's widowed. Any other reason is a No-No. Its the height of cuckoldery having to raise another man's kid while putting up with her 'entitlement mentality'. I'll only 'pump and dump' thatz all. Sound harsh, but thats the way it is. Remember the old adage, "she single for a reason" and that reason is usually bad. She didnt have the patience/good judgement to make it work her baby daddy (even for the kid), why should she stick with you. The cons of dating SMs are just more than the pros - not worth it imho.

Read this too: http://www.returnofkings.com/84026/5-reasons-you-should-never-date-a-single-mother

Brethren be wise!

Her story was that she got pregnant for a man she wanted to marry only to find out few days to her wedding that the man is married to someone else and just wanted to make her a second wife.

Everything in the link you sent is 100% spot on.

1x2x3:


Her story was that she got pregnant for a man she wanted to marry only to find out few days to her wedding that the man is married to someone else and just wanted to make her a second wife.

Pure rationalization after the fact. This just proves her poor sense of judgement. Why get pregnant before marriage? Why should i be the one paying for her errors. Love is blind o, but i draw the line somewhere...

YemiHadid:


Pure rationalization after the fact. This just proves her poor sense of judgement. Why get pregnant before marriage? Why should i be the one paying for her errors. Love is blind o, but i draw the line somewhere...

Its a sleepless night for me and I'm yet to dilute what unfolded. I just wish she could pretend forever and be nice but this is life where the truth must surely reveal itself at some point.

The person I saw in her recently is too mean and brutal to be under a man. God help anyone that falls into her trap.

a single lady can also possess this quality though.

1x2x3:


Its a sleepless night for me and I'm yet to dilute what unfolded. I just wish she could pretend forever and be nice but this is life where the truth must surely reveal itself at some point.

The person I saw in her recently is too mean and brutal to be under a man. God help anyone that falls into her trap.

Just be happy you saw her for who she was on time. It could have been worse. Imagine waking up one day to see a stranger knocking on your door demanding to see 'his child' or her frequent unexplained trips. And trust me, most single mothers will cheat on you with their baby daddy if the opportunity presents itself even if its years after the fact, forget what she says; quote me anyday. I just see no reason why i should bring extra drama into my life. Dating in this day and age is already strenous, what with feminism and all, talkless of single mama drama. Its a big No-no!

1x2x3:


Its a sleepless night for me and I'm yet to dilute what unfolded. I just wish she could pretend forever and be nice but this is life where the truth must surely reveal itself at some point.

The person I saw in her recently is too mean and brutal to be under a man. God help anyone that falls into her trap.

Emotional investment lost without ROI. Get a new girl real quick if not she might manipulate you more. They all have strategies

Met one on InstaChat forming all sexiness cos of her big backside, undressing in front of me na hardwork. She sha claim her relative wan do burial for village.

As she travel # unreachable, claiming poor network in the village 2018 but vowed to call me every night once she's back to the hotel she lodged. I laughed, na me one yeye girl de play wayo

I knew I'll never marry a baby mama, she claimed she never had a child initially too but I insisted cos her body tells a different story till she confessed.
Na so I just let am no kolewerk jejely.

No time to de reason call or network cork n bull bs,
No time.

Is it just me or is the story not just clicking? You had a misunderstanding with your g/f which is normal, so why all the fuss? Theirs no relationship that is perfect so why making a mountain out of a mole hill?

If you have been sceptical about the relationship, fine. But from what I read here, there's no reason to be apprehensive. She travelled as she said and came back like she said. She needed a time off, possibly from you. Have you ever considered the fact that she really needed that time off?

Abeg, make I no cone be joy kill. Make I mind my business

Well, u cant blame her.. She wants FREEDOM...it's very obvious that she doesn't wanna tie herself down to any man yet.

Marriage is not her priority but if u wanna settledown soon then she is not for u.. Juz let her do her thing and u do yours as well.. Not every relationship works the way we expect it..

When I read all these stories, I begin to feel happy that I am single. It makes me forget the fact that I need a girlfriend.

Op you just dodged a time bomb....

As for me she is right, marriage is all abt having a child/children, cus i dont see any thing special abt marriage, and i dont wish to get married to any lady

Hector09:
As for me she is right, marriage is all abt having a child/children, cus i dont see any thing special abt marriage, and i dont wish to get married to any lady

gayish tendencies

Cutehector:
gayish tendencies

so any one that does not want to be with a lady is now a gau. Boy grow up

YemiHadid:
No beef, but personally i might only marry a single mother if she's single because she's widowed

That's not even totally safe because she could be the one that killed her husband.

Truth is, some single mother are victims of a men's wickedness. Y'know right that some wicked men do get girls pregnant and deny them so their being single mother may not be because they are rude, wicked or mannerless but because they were unlucky in love. I agree though that they're still difficult to love because they're hurting but they're good if you can prove to them(in actions) that you're not like the other guy(a very tough task though)

MaziOmenuko:
Is it just me or is the story not just clicking? You had a misunderstanding with your g/f which is normal, so why all the fuss? Theirs no relationship that is perfect so why making a mountain out of a mile hill?

If you have been sceptical about the relationship, fine. But from what I read here, there's no reason to be apprehensive. She travelled as she said and came back like she said. She needed a time off, possibly from you. Have you ever considered the fact that she really needed that time off?

Abeg, make I no cone be joy kill. Make I mind my business

Please do it asaply

Hector09:
so any one that does not want to be with a lady is now a gau. Boy grow up

no, you need to grow up! Fvking man up and take responsibilities. After all there at men out there who take charge of ladies.

informative/educative

Hmmm....this is unfair to single mothers! Why tag them like this? To me this is all about knowing about a woman period before marriage...single mother or not. How can she meet your people but you can't meet any of hers? ...that's a big yellow flag right there. Why would you even consider marrying someone you know nothing about except what she told you? Why didn't the doubting Thomas in you wake up?
No doubt...there are many single mothers out there simply because they are not marriage material.... she is in this group...mother or not...but there are lots of them who are simply because they were played. We should stop painting them with a broad brush.

Cutehector:
no, you need to grow up! Fvking man up and take responsibilities. After all there at men out there who take charge of ladies.

u are mistaking cus i cant tolarate any lady

Hector09:
u are mistaking cus i cant tolarate any lady

Hmmmm.......coming out of the closet.

Cutehector:
When I read all these stories, I begin to feel happy that I am single. It makes me forget the fact that I need a girlfriend.

lol u re right b alone make one feel 1oo% happy no gal will be asking for money dat she did nt work for

Originalsly:
Hmmmm.......coming out of the closet.

dirty mind