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Self Esteem / Fighting Your Way Out Of Low Self-esteem; What I Must Do. / Fuel Their Self Esteem (2) (3) (4)
| .n by ILuvBreasts: 1:23pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
h |
| Re: .n by daewoorazer(m): 1:32pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
You have inferiority complex, yes! All thanks to your parents. To continue to see yourself as inferior is your doing. I was a very shy person growing up and used to fear crowded places. When I enter a crowded place, my thought is always like - ‘I’m an asshole for coming here to disturb these people’ But then I changed, when I enter any crowded place, I feel like - ‘ who are these assholes disturbing my peace’ I’d walk around the room with my shoulders high, at first it was hard. But with time, I mastered the art! In months, I became the leader of packs. Guys gather in my house to gist and drink now.  3 Likes |
| Re: .n by MrBrownJay1(m): 1:51pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
it seems that you have TYPICAL African parents.... and many children out there make it just fine. stop seeking for their approval for anything and start to focus on YOU. you made it so far, stop looking back and instead face the world and embrace it fully (whether with your parents blessing or not) crying over it certainly wont make it better. 4 Likes |
| Re: .n by Jackossky(m): 1:59pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
I feel your pains bro, but wait, were you jealous because you have a younger sister? He never showered you with love, why did you feel threatened by the little girl's presence. Some things do not add up but since you are already admitted, make your dad to serve as a motivation to you instead of a hindrance/ source of pain. Truth be told, we all need some sort of support, especially from parent but hey, i know of many who had no parent, catered for their schooling by themselves and are something in life now. Dad still pays your dues right? Sometimes, you have to grow up and stop leaning or waiting for people' s approval even if they are your parent . Start making bold choices and don't behave irrational. After he pays your tuition fee, make no call to him, start behaving independent and when he sees you are no more perturbed about his wealth, he might notice his wrongs. Nevertheless, pray to God about it but you have to take some proactive steps on your own. Don't lean on dad's care. All you have is YOU and you are what you need to make it in life. Stop seeking for his love, if it comes, fine and if it doesn't, fine also. See you on the beaches of life. Sola. |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 6:42pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
Jackossky: Your lamentations are normal bro.... Allow me to lay into you abit.... From your comment, it appears that: you are someone who likes to compare himself with others. You are not spiritually inclined You want to show your parents that you are a man, whereas you are just a boy of 21 You want to be spoilt, corrupt or immoral but your parents won't allow it You want to behave the way you like, forgetting that your parents call the shots. You watch too much foreign movies and expected to be treated the way white people treat their only children You think your parents are obstacles somehow in your life You feel your parents and the world owes you something Because you are the only child, you feel the world owes you something.... It is YOU versus them..... You are not happy You have low self esteem... I can call you a rich spoilt kid....and I won't be far from the truth. See, most only children, are always spoilt especially when their parents are rich... Your parents probably think you are lazy you know ....they may have studied you closely and realized, that, you are too carried away by your parents' wealth You are probably very selfish in nature.....you think too much of yourself, you think about the things you miss or the things you don't have. Instead of you to be grateful for what you have. You want to have girl friends abi at 21? You want to be able to bleep girls just because other guys your age are doing so? You want to pose with your parents cars, by cruising with them in town yet you have not shown enough maturity to convince them to allow you to drive or even teach you how to drive ? You think you can tell your pops the importance of driving, shout or complain or better still , bully your way to the car key? Do you own the cars? You are thinking about youthful desires and these clearly shows thar, you are still a mere boy... Your pops want to set you up well in life by allowing you to study pharmacy in university....but you think pursuing a business is better... Which business can you do from now, that will earn you the kind of money, a pharmacy license can bring you at your age? What experience in running a business do you have? An intern pharmacist earns about 80k-120k, working as an intern with government while a pharmacist earns above 150k as monthly salary working for government.And the pay goes up, as the years go by. In terms of your future, don't worry about it.You will buy cars, build houses and even travel abroad, if you can discipline yourself to just graduate from school as a happy normal young man. As a future pharmacist, you can set up your own pharmacy and a pharmaceutical company that makes drugs and sell nationwide. Drug companies are some of the richest companies on earth.Right now, one of sharpest business you can do to make cool money and even become a billionaire, is drug business. If you don't finish your school, can you get there? As per your parents, I have not seen any sin they commited against you.Their parenting method is okay by me Broda, because, they want to the best for you. We are Africans.If that is they grew up, don't blame them for dishing it out on you. Your job is not to repeat it in your own family. Learn to make the best of your situations. Many of the things people think are important.....are not important. What you see on TV and dstv and what happens in real life are not the same things. Learn to appreciate what you have....and not what you don't have. I was beaten real bad by my pops when coming up...many times for things I didnt do.I can still remember them. But I don't hold it against him. I was restricted from playing with other children as well, but it was for my good. I wanted to ride the car by force, ended up bashing it into another car. I was a little bit withdrawn, but in time, I realize that, such is life and made the best of me situation. I am married today... When children misbehave where I am, I play them, especially when they fail to hear my warnings.If your parents beat you in the paste, it is because you did something wrong in their eyes. Anyway....that is past now. The only advice I have for you bro is this: become a spiritually minded young man. That is an area, that can change you completely and make you a more secure person. Read 1 cor 15: 33. Please God.....not your parents. Honour your father and your mother Love your neighbor as yourself, including your parents and sister Do good for others, don't wait for others to do good for you You appear to be an introvert....well....slowly break down the walls you have built around yourself,using the Bible and learn to show concern in others. Don't always think about yourself......slowly make yourself a better person you can change tomorrow you cannot change yesterday read your bible every day.... in time, it will help you think and act like a man. Get the Book,' Questions Young People Ask' vol 1, 2 it is publish by Jehovah's witnesses The book will help you a lot.... You will need to do a lot of reading and application, to improve your self esteem and image. 7 Likes |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 6:48pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
Jackossky: Your lamentations are normal bro.... Allow me to lay into you abit.... From your comment, it appears that: you are someone who likes to compare himself with others. You are not spiritually inclined You want to show your parents that you are a man, whereas you are just a boy of 21 You want to be spoilt, corrupt or immoral but your parents won't allow it You want to behave the way you like, forgetting that your parents call the shots. You watch too much foreign movies and expected to be treated the way white people treat their only children You think your parents are obstacles somehow in your life You feel your parents and the world owes you something Because you are the only child, you feel the world owes you something.... It is YOU versus them..... You are not happy You have low self esteem... I can call you a rich spoilt kid....and I won't be far from the truth. See, most only children, are always spoilt especially when their parents are rich... Your parents probably think you are lazy you know ....they may have studied you closely and realized, that, you are too carried away by your parents' wealth You are probably very selfish in nature.....you think too much of yourself, you think about the things you miss or the things you don't have. Instead of you to be grateful for what you have. You want to have girl friends abi at 21? You want to be able to bleep girls just because other guys your age are doing so? You want to pose with your parents cars, by cruising with them in town yet you have not shown enough maturity to convince them to allow you to drive or even teach you how to drive ? You think you can tell your pops the importance of driving, shout or complain or better still , bully your way to the car key? Do you own the cars? You are thinking about youthful desires and these clearly shows thar, you are still a mere boy... Your pops want to set you up well in life by allowing you to study pharmacy in university....but you think pursuing a business is better... Which business can you do from now, that will earn you the kind of money, a pharmacy license can bring you at your age? What experience in running a business do you have? An intern pharmacist earns about 80k-120k, working as an intern with government while a pharmacist earns above 150k as monthly salary working for government.And the pay goes up, as the years go by. In terms of your future, don't worry about it.You will buy cars, build houses and even travel abroad, if you can discipline yourself to just graduate from school as a happy normal young man. As a future pharmacist, you can set up your own pharmacy and a pharmaceutical company that makes drugs and sell nationwide. Drug companies are some of the richest companies on earth.Right now, one of sharpest business you can do to make cool money and even become a billionaire, is drug business. If you don't finish your school, can you get there? As per your parents, I have not seen any sin they commited against you.Their parenting method is okay by me Broda, because, they want to the best for you. We are Africans.If that is they grew up, don't blame them for dishing it out on you. Your job is not to repeat it in your own family. Learn to make the best of your situations. Many of the things people think are important.....are not important. What you see on TV and dstv and what happens in real life are not the same things. Learn to appreciate what you have....and not what you don't have. I was beaten real bad by my pops when coming up...many times for things I didnt do.I can still remember them. But I don't hold it against him. I was restricted from playing with other children as well, but it was for my good. I wanted to ride the car by force, ended up bashing it into another car. I was a little bit withdrawn, but in time, I realize that, such is life and made the best of me situation. I am married today... When children misbehave where I am, I play them, especially when they fail to hear my warnings.If your parents beat you in the paste, it is because you did something wrong in their eyes. Anyway....that is past now. The only advice I have for you bro is this: become a spiritually minded young man. That is an area, that can change you completely and make you a more secure person. Read 1 cor 15: 33. Please God.....not your parents. Honour your father and your mother Love your neighbor as yourself, including your parents and sister Do good for others, don't wait for others to do good for you You appear to be an introvert....well....slowly break down the walls you have built around yourself,using the Bible and learn to show concern in others. Don't always think about yourself......slowly make yourself a better person you can change tomorrow you cannot change yesterday read your bible every day.... in time, it will help you think and act like a man. Get the Book,' Questions Young People Ask' vol 1, 2 it is publish by Jehovah's witnesses The book will help you a lot.... You will need to do a lot of reading and application, to improve your self esteem and image. 1 Like |
| Re: .n by Nobody: 6:55pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
daewoorazer: |
| Re: .n by smart6(m): 7:43pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
ILuvBreasts: As much as others want to come here and scold you some, i will till you to be strong, don't act you ever read their demoralizing posts. I feel your pain and understand to an extent how you feel. It's very much normal to feel that way... First, you have to find a way to love your now kid sis. Then a part of you is damaging (not completely though) that's the fatherly-son connect. I could not ascert the extent of your attraction and affection to/from your mum. Parents are their children's rock, they show be proud of them. In your case you do not seem proud of your dad mainly, due to how he has treated you. I am not a dad yet but i am someone's son. Your dad's action/inactions are be in ignorance of it's impacts on you. Some dad are senselessly strict, sorry for those words. The deal now is you are a victim or so you feel; i understand. Atleast seeing others ur age or older do better with their own parents. I want to suggest you draw strength from all this. Make conscious personal effort to not let all your parents do or not do affect you. Many of them are in the past. I feel it is also difficult to seat with your parents to discuss things, which i feel at your age shouldn't be the case. You are an individual despite your parents. So you have to make yourself happy with or without them. Do not make bad choices. Death is not even an option. |
| Re: .n by Chubhie: 8:01pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
I've got no doubt in my mind that you would turn out far better than your dad. You are being prepared for something grand by the heavens young warlock. This is the time of preparation and a journey to discover yourself. READ! READ!! READ!!! Read up on self motivation, Leadership, Time/Money management. Build an engine room of books. All that have happened to you before now should be forgiven as accident while you make sure you consciously design the tomorrow of your dreams and stay disciplined and focused till the very end. Girls would easily derail you and leave you fragmented. |
| Re: .n by Evangkatsoulis: 8:27pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
daewoorazer:@bolded. You been mumu no be small. |
| Re: .n by daewoorazer(m): 9:25pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
Evangkatsoulis: Your excellency, what’s your level of education?? |
| Re: .n by Evangkatsoulis: 9:46pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
daewoorazer: Wetin concern my level of education? |
| Re: .n by daewoorazer(m): 9:49pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
Evangkatsoulis: You reek of ignorance...even in this very post of yours... Peace! |
| Re: .n by ILuvBreasts: 10:20pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
most of your assertions are true... ur write up really touched me. Thanks others for the encouragements...i feel better now because I can't relate this situation to anyone around here. Restroom: |
| Re: .n by ILuvBreasts: 10:35pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
You really understand dear... thanks so much for your words . smart6: |
| Re: .n by IamPlato(m): 11:34pm On Jun 11, 2018 |
... I Dont Like Long Story! Make Me Your Friend and The Energy Around You Will Change |
| Re: .n by Ishilove: 8:00pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Restroom:You have spoken well my son May the LORD increase the oil of wisdom upon thy head. |
| Re: .n by Nobody: 8:04pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Ishilove:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ∆ You son na restroom? I won't say more than that  ∆★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 8:33pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
OrestesDante:Thanks. |
| Re: .n by Ishilove: 8:40pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
OrestesDante:  |
| Re: .n by Ishilove: 8:50pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Restroom:You spat some home truths. All I see is a whiny, insecure kid with some serious daddy issues. He is even complaining that his parents didn't teach him his native language. Seriously?? I didn't start learning my language until I was 12, and that was because I took it upon myself to learn it. If I didn't my parents wouldn't have been bothered. It's the way of the 21st century, even though it's not right. He whined about not having a girlfriend since SS2. SS2! This world haf spoil finish. And now he is 21 years old and one of his major issue is woman. Hian. It is well. He has a lot of growing up to do and hopefully he will outgrow this offputting habit of blaming everyone around him for his life's woes. |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 8:56pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Ishilove:.I feel you bro... I just hope he will grow up to accept responsibility for what he becomes in life. If not....he won't find it easy living with other people. He needs to keep improving himself to become a desirable young man. |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 8:57pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Ishilove:.I feel you bro... I just hope he will grow up to accept responsibility for what he becomes in life. If not....he won't find it easy living with other people. He needs to keep improving himself to become a desirable young man. As per language.... he can learn it anytime in life....he wants. |
| Re: .n by lastmessenger: 8:55pm On Jun 13, 2018 |
Your Monica is the reason why your dad fu..king hate you with passion |
| Re: .n by lastmessenger: 8:55pm On Jun 13, 2018 |
Your Monica is the reason why your dad fu..king hate you with passion . Change your Monica and receive dads love |
| Re: .n by tendy08(f): 5:43pm On Jun 14, 2018 |
I kinda agree with few of the points raised by Restroom but I'd like to add this: Being a parent goes way beyond providing food, shelter, clothing and material stuff. It is absolutely normal for a young child to seek validation from the parents. Parents are in most cases, the most trusted being a child knows. So it's paramount for parents to provide not just material stuff, but strong emotional support for their children. Yes, it's always alluded that every parents' wants the best for their child, so even when they're being excessively controlling and damaging, people still manage to tie it to " wanting-the- best. Unfortunately, that's not always true. There's a level which claims of protecting a child comes to, that it becomes destructive and in this case, the damage caused by extreme lack of emotional connection between father and son, put-downs are already evident, hence the self esteem/complex issues. Judging by the op's narrative, he's also clearly a codependent child who cannot hold his own. Op, it's good that you realise you have issues, as that's the 1st step to your healing. You've suffered abuse and neglect from someone who should be your closest ally and that can be quite damaging. Don't let anyone make you believe it's your fault you turned out this way, you're only a child whose emotional growth was stunted at an early age, cos of the abuse experienced. It's not your fault that you crave for a more loving relationship with your parents. Those things you feel you should have may not be best for you at the time, but it's left for your parents to make you understand why. You having business ideas is not bad too, if that's really what you want to do. All you need at this time is direction on how to channel those thoughts and ideas properly. You're not selfish for not easily accepting your adopted sister, as I can totally relate with the reason you gave for that, but you should strive to let go and accept her as a part of you. In all honesty, I think your father has "Narcissisitic Personality Disorder" and your mum is sort of an enabler. You may want to research on this topic and see if it explains somethings about you and your family dynamics that plaques your mind. Like some people already advised, you need to start to develop a sense of self and purpose for you. You have a voice; find it and use it rightly. No one has the right to put you down and make you feel miserable, not even your parents. Take decisions on your own and pursue your goals too, not your parents. You may stumble and fail at first, but never stop believing in yourself. You are all you need to lead a fulfilled life. You need to take on challenges and break down those barriers you've set up in your mind, and when the light comes through, you'd start to feel better about yourself. Parents should learn to treat their wards as separate humans not as objects or extensions of themselves. Kids are like blank slates, whatever we put in there, sticks. The need to build up our children cannot be overemphasised as they tend to see themselves through our eyes. Stay blessed and strong. 1 Like |
| Re: .n by Water101(f): 7:12pm On Jun 14, 2018 |
What makes d op think he himself is not adopted. |
| Re: .n by ILuvBreasts: 1:31am On Jun 15, 2018 |
G |
| Re: .n by ILuvBreasts: 1:35am On Jun 15, 2018 |
Can I have your contact, I need to talk with you Restroom: |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 8:32pm On Jun 15, 2018 |
ILuvBreasts: I just emailed you now.....curtisej2@gmail.com or 09079496934 |
| Re: .n by Restroom: 8:36pm On Jun 15, 2018 |
ILuvBreasts: I just emailed u with this email: curtisej2@gmail.com 09079496934 |
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