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I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 7:18am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Please this might be a little lengthy but bear with me, everything here is needed to get the story out and ask my questions. Thank you. This will go down as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I'm deeply confused. But before I go on, I'd love a quick intro. I just created this moniker to chronicle all of my confusions and to feel free asking for help without any of my friends here tracing them to me. I'm 22 and a serving Corp member. I'm a hustler and I can say I'm doing fairly well for a Corp member. I am still a "virgin" iff that term can be loosely applied to someone who masturbates. I'm deeply disturbed by my masturbation, but that is not the purpose of this thread. I recently met a girl - also a Corp member - whom I'm really, really fond of. However, I strongly believe that sex is for marriage (I'm a devoted Christian) and so I have always stayed away from it. With this girl tho, we get frisky a lot. I shared my first kiss with her, and we've since gotten more intimate than I'm usually comfortable with. Sadly, that doesn't help my desire to stop masturbation as I always do that after making out with her. When doing so, I imagine all we had done and it gets me off. However, this is where it gets embarrassing. When making out with her she sometimes gives me a head. Despite all of her efforts tho (and she is sincerely really good), I can't get myself to remain aroused. No, my hands don't give me half the sensations I get from her mouth, but it still doesn't matter as I just can't remain aroused enough to get off as is the case when I'm by myself. Today was the very worst as I kept shrinking rather than edging towards release. It angers her cos she believes I don't want her, or how else does she explain it? She feels if I wanted her as much as she wanted me that it would be different. I know my conscience pricks me while we're at it but I don't know if that is the cause. She says I think too much about it... but I can't help the thoughts. Now I'm torn. I need to know just two things: 1. Is it my 'plenty thinking' that's hindering me when with her? I've already put away most of my inhibitions to get that far with her, but I can't seem to go further. And I don't really think I want to. 2. How can I tell her to take away the sexual edge of the relationship without coming across as offensive, and without confirming her belief that I don't want her? P.S: Before you begin bashing the lady, note that she is also a virgin. Her vagina is still very much sealed. I doubted that at first, but I've seen it and... So I know. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to go so far either... 3 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by zainmaxwell(m): 7:43am On Jun 25, 2018 |
let me modify....op u are not a Christian,so don't come here and be forming cos u r a masturbating xtian eehen Oga seun Sey na u I go send my account number for my ftc? 66 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Flamezzz: 7:46am On Jun 25, 2018 |
A virgin masturbating because you believe that sex is for married people but masturbation is for single niggas right? ![]() Na Archbishop go cure your craze 247 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 7:50am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Flamezzz: I said it was a bad habit I picked up... One that I'm trying to conquer. That doesn't mean I like it. I've tried getting help severally, even reporting myself to my parents when it first started, but I haven't been able to get past it. In no way did I insinuate that I'm proud of masturbation up there. P.S: This post has been modified to make it less insulting. My initial response which you will find in quotes below was rather emotional. Please do not take it personally, and do not let it prevent you from giving me mature help and advice. The posts below concerning my hypocrisy might also go some way to shed light on this comments. 56 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by apholaryn: 7:57am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman:hypocrite..d dude was ryt abt u 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by highqueen(f): 8:04am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman:you lack manners. 49 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by olac21(m): 8:16am On Jun 25, 2018 |
No manners at all from a supposed Corp member!
Now we know our destination! 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by banjicom(m): 8:17am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman: in as much as you try to hide it masturbation is definetly one of the things causing issues between you and your girl. Long term masturbation has its own side effects and that is definetly what you are experiencing right now. 2. As for telling her to take away the Sexual edge of the relationship It won't be easy bro you shouldn't have started what you can't finish in the first place. My advise for you is to start giving her a little bit Of space most especially avoid been alone with her and talking dirty, make her understand you really love her but you are still working on yourself right now and there will be plenty of Sex For you in the future. 14 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 8:36am On Jun 25, 2018 |
apholaryn: Look, I know it's hypocritical to condemn sex before marriage and at the same time practice masturbation. I really do. I intended creating a thread for that practise but I thought to deal with this first. Note that it's not every thing that becomes a habit that is appreciated. Trust me, I've tried many times to stop that, I just haven't been able to. If you do have anything to say about the opening post then that will be appreciated. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 8:39am On Jun 25, 2018 |
banjicom: Thank you very much. I goofed. I normally don't let any sexual occurrence begin with any girl, but it happened with this girl somehow. I'm still battling masturbation tho. Sometimes I'm very successful for a month or so, and then something happens and all of my efforts crumble all over again. I really don't know how to put an end to that habit; Nothing seems to work. 2 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 8:46am On Jun 25, 2018 |
olac21: highqueen: C'mon he threw the first blow. I'm frustrated here. I find it difficult talking about my masturbatory tendencies cos of the shame I feel after it. I know how much effort it took me to come clean to my momma back then, just so I could get help. The opening post on the thread made it clear it disturbs me deeply... I just didn't want to get into details here. His post just made it seem as though I glorified the act, carefully ignoring the questions I asked and the help I sought. That's totally uncalled for if you ask me. Either way, I'd edit the insult off my comments. I know it won't edit it in your quotes but that satisfies my conscience. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Avedonn: 9:17am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman: You don't believe in sex before marriage, but you romance your girlfriend, she carry out BJ on you, you even checked her vj to confirm it's authenticity. So what makes you different from those that engage in premarital sex. In my opinion they are even better than you because they are sinning and also enjoying but in your case, you are sinning and still torturing yourself by constantly checking the cover of your girlfriend's VJ whether is open or sealed. If it's sealed, you'd then nod your head and close it back while salivating without eating. 59 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 9:27am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Avedonn: I agree with you. I have never done that with a girl before, cos my conscience doesn't carry it. When we first started and she began getting all touchy, I told her I wasn't in for a sexual relationship. However, we can't stay in the same room alone without her getting all touchy, and when I turned her down initially, she cried. I hate to see her cry. She seems ready to give it all to me, but I don't want it this way. So, to prevent her tears and/or sulking I flow with it without going too far. Sadly, my boundaries have been extended with each act. With each act, my conscience seems more dead than before... And so it goes further each time. I want it to stop completely, but I don't know how to do that without offending her. And then I decide to please her, but my mind ain't fully in it, so I just can't... And that makes her angry as well. I'm seriously not sure what to do. I'm not in the least sure of myself again. I want to avoid her altogether, but that causes trouble between us. I'm just so torn in my head right now. 4 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by phyllistas(f): 9:32am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Mm does this thing of no sex before marriage still exist ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by oneolajire(m): 9:46am On Jun 25, 2018 |
And you may be claiming "born again". See, NYSC will soon be over and everything will look like a movie to you. NYSC season is one of the shortest seasons of your life. You are engaging in relationship like unbelievers would do. You've learnt too little about christian sexuality and that's why you are still struggling with masturbation. Who are those mentoring you in your relationship? Seems you don't have one. The issue on ground concerns you more, not the lady. You seems too emotional, just 22 years old and already making marriage conclusions that you may not have soon. Get yourself a mentor that will teach you christian sexuality and relationship. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 9:51am On Jun 25, 2018 |
oneolajire: I'm not sure I understand you sir. I haven't said I intend marrying her, I believe time will have to tell. I just don't want to continue doing anything stupid before marriage. No, I'm not in the born again crew. I believe every one is free to make a decision about how they want to live. I don't berate others for not holding on to the same principles as me. If you engaged me in a discussion, you'd hardly know I don't believe in sex before marriage, cos I love my discussions clean without any holier than thou whatever... In fact, the few that hear my stand doubt it's sincerity, that's how free I am. But my fear is that I don't wanna lose my values, values I've held on to for so long... Yet, I don't wanna break her Yes, I agree I'm a very emotional person. But I'm not sure how it applies here? 7 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Confiman: 9:57am On Jun 25, 2018 |
phyllistas: Lol... It does. We just don't wear it on our chest cos it's off-putting. But we exist. Sadly, I'm currently neither here nor there ![]() ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by 912(m): 10:13am On Jun 25, 2018 |
There are two main causes of your issue: 1) too much masturbation: this has seriously affected your sex drive and it's leading to erectile dysfunction 2) Your believe that you are a "good christian" and that what you are doing with her is evil. The guilt that your subconscious mind registers each time she performs MouthAction on you is also affecting the ability of your body to respond properly. Solutions: 1) get a good testosterone enhancing supplements. I assure you if you take them for one or two months it's your girlfriend that will run with the kind of erection that you will be having. 2) stop masturbation. Although I know this one is very difficult for someone who is addicted to it but you have to stop it. Or you limit it to a maximum of twice or once a week. This will help you recover from the erectile dysfunction and help your body build up hormones. 3) stop the horseplay with your girlfriend. at least this will save you the embarrassment you are feeling now. You can make up a story that now you have truly given your life and want to stop being a fake christian ![]() ![]() 46 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by kcowen(m): 10:28am On Jun 25, 2018 |
I laughed out loud reading this but honestly i want to help u here but wait first how did know she's still a virgin, did u just open check insert your finger, nod your head and say 'yes' she's a virgin and close back am just wondering cos u said u are still a virgin, you don't have the expertise to know if she's a virgin,seriously dude she's not a virgin neither are you, so bleep the girl and stop giving us some virgin story 5 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Avedonn: 10:29am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman: Since you don't believe in sex before marriage, what's the essence of the relationship to you? Because I know you aren't ready for marriage at present and the girl in question may probably not wait for you to be ready because she may likely get married in one or two years to come. So tell me, what's your benefit of engaging in the relationship. 7 Likes |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by austyn0(m): 10:32am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Avedonn: 13 Likes
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Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Martinez19(m): 10:33am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Too much mastubation causes erectile dysfunction. I know this because in a porn recovery site called NoFap, majority of porn and masturbation addict complain of erectile dysfunction. Yours will heal with long term abstinence from mastubation. 1 Like |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by TissuePaper: 10:46am On Jun 25, 2018 |
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Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Pentools(m): 10:48am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Confiman: Continue leaking saliva n wasting sperm. Person go soon help u arrange am and squash ur heart well well. OP no pun intended tho but just like wealth sound love is not for the weak cus u will be doing a lot of compromise and sacrifice. #ChooseWisely!!! |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by Metuh: 10:49am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Devoted Christian that masturbates. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by pafo(m): 10:49am On Jun 25, 2018 |
My advice to you long sotey I no know where to start sef, but I can help you cause I was in your position once. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by fabrestove: 10:50am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Nigga what? You sound Gay, 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by MARKone(m): 10:50am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Devoted Christian, and you Masturbate ![]() |
Re: I Love Her But... Now I'm Embarrassed by UrbanExotica(f): 10:50am On Jun 25, 2018 |
Metuh:And give head lmao. 2 Likes |
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