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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? (13277 Views)
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Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Koolking(m): 4:49pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
alignacademy: What I can deduced from your opinion is, babies born out of wedlock are dysfunctional kids from dysfunctional home, and probably the problem to the world. Unless you have a different undertone to your opinion, be kind to share 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Cleanjah: 4:51pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
KanwuliaExtra: Short sighted 2 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by somehow: 4:54pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Chubhie: Babymamas and children with no parents are everywhere in the western world especially THE USA. can you say this came about because of poverty? Poverty is not the reason for this attitude, it has more to do with morale breakdown, lack of effective education in social and personal responsibility. Every decision i take now will surely affect the society at large. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Tedpgrass: 5:04pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
AZeD1: Totally agree.... At op.....alignacademy From your ruminations above, several aberrations have been identified- not necessarily dysfunctional..depending on the context of the narrative. Taking 1/2 of your descriptions, factors affecting its incidence/ prevalence and possible cure or limitation of the disastrous symptoms or consequences can.be identified give the different socio-economic indices. Then progress can be made and sustained. . |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Koolking: Thanks for the feedback Interesting perspective you add there: the problem of the world! Aren't you stretching it a bit? Like I noted earlier, I shared my opinion after watching a TV program that showcased kids with no families It dawned on me that these kids didn't bring themselves to the world. Possibly by adults who weren't ready for the responsibilities of raising children. Our traditional family values here in Africa are being eroded. You don't need a sermon to realize that. Ignoring this sad situation because "it's not my portion" just won't cut it. The family is the basic unit of society. We are all in this together. Conversations like this could help us share ideas on the importance of better choices in our personal lives, doing things that would be in the best interest of everyone What do you think? 4 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:07pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Tedpgrass: Thanks for the feedback Sorry, could you break that down? English isn't my mother tongue, y'know... Thanks again 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:13pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
blazer2018: Thanks for sharing these insights I didn't know of the Yoruba saying. Indeed, the words of our elders are words of wisdom Thanks again 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 5:19pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Chubhie: Licensed by who? why does it seems like you have issues with just women, the baby fathers nko? treat issue wholly and don't start blaming one gender 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 5:22pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
My take here is there's nothing dysfunctional abt baby mamas or baby daddies, we are in a age people have different ways to living and you can totally call it dysfunctional atleast if it works for them, as long as these kids are taken care of, I don't see the issue. 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by somehow: 5:30pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
yeyerolling: Huge difference 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by donb06: 5:32pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
KanwuliaExtra:definitely not ur bizz until you become a victim of one of these children raised this way.... then YOUR GOD will remind when u said its non of ur BIZZ 3 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Koolking(m): 5:33pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
alignacademy: You are just being emotional and stereotypical. African values are not eroded because there are many 'dysfunctional' kids (as you labelled kids out of wedlock) but because the social institutions (both parents-family, church, schools, society) have failed in their responsibilities. We have been acculturated to western norms and pop culture. Anything less is seen as abnormal and completely alienated. These are not functions of dysfunctional kids. I have seen and mingled with 'dysfunctional kids' who were raised by single parents becoming the change that the community needs. I have also seen 'functional' kids (raised by both parents) becoming the common bowl for the community's spit. Rusty society is not a byproduct of 'dysfunctional' kids but holistic compromise by both 'functional' and 'dysfunctional' (You and I included). 2 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by somehow: 5:34pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
What is the definition of a family unit to you? Let's start from there.. sanpipita: 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by donb06: 5:35pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
sanpipita:most people think taken care is only money... One part of that child is missing ... at least i have heard several about several ladies being victim of men and the excuse they always give is my father was not there for me... and guys saying almost same things. 4 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Youngbishop1(m): 5:38pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Organism000: By reducing LOVE to fleeting emotions and sexual pleasure, you are reducing human beings to brute animals and LOVE loses its essence. Marriage is not natural? Really Even though our ancestors were polygamous, they were still pro-marriage, even some animals have only one mate for life. Then the part of abandoning your children to social welfare doesn't cut it at all, how can you claim to be pro-love and the best you can do for your children is social welfare. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Koolking: Thanks for sharing your point of view |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
It’s easier to say but we do owe it to ourselves to make relationships work for the sake of our kids perfection is not the aim but we must learn from our mistakes ..sometimes it may not even be your physical kid Maybe a step child sef anyone your responsible for you owe it too to at least be civil and welcoming to your spouse Cover their shame even when they expose yours you will learn what love is all about 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 5:40pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
donb06: But you must admit there are single parents who have done better job than a couple as a unit? some kids with a mother and daddy will also tell you one of them wasnt there for them, theres no definite manual in raising a good home. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by crackhaus: 5:42pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
alignacademy:You're welcome 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 5:46pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
somehow: A family unit goes beyond having a father and mother, you could have both and lack a family unit, my major point is how is this kid faring with people or who is his family. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by donb06: 5:47pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
sanpipita:TRUE... but then lets look at the rates.... |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 5:50pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Youngbishop1: Love is nothing more than a fleeting emotion, just like anger and every other aspects of feelings and should not be taken seriously apart from utilizing it for the magic of activating the energy centers and raising consciousness. Those of you who mis-inteprete what love is, are the heart broken ones who fall in love for the pusssy and get scammed of your pennies. I know what Love is, and I feel it in my heart, but when love is trying to make me fucck up, I throw the love away and use my brain anytime. So, learn from the masters. Animals do not have one mate for life, I have no idea if you have any knowledge of the animal kingdom. But I can assure you that no animal keep a single love partner for a life-time except they are imprisoned in a cage, cell or controlled habitat and deprived of their freedom of choice of sex mates. You have a rather naive definition of what I term child-support, to equate Child support to abandoning a child shows that there is a greater level of dysfunction of your understanding of this subject than I thought. If both parents contribute financially and otherwise to the up keep of the children while they take turns as custodians of the children, does that equate to abandonment in your understanding of life ? Now, make sure you understand what Love is, and what lust means, then differentiate Child Support from Abandonment then you will figure out what a child really needs. Because no child can grow psychologically balanced in at atmosphere of parently discord and in-fighting. It is better for the parents to divorce when there is no more love and not waste the opportunties to be loved because of 'children', in which case the kids themselves grow up to dysfunctional because of being raised in love-less homes. Victims are mostly victims of these wild men and I advise women to move on with their lives if the men become toxic and men should also move on if their wives become toxic and each person should find a loving partner to enjoy great sex lives while negotiating on up keeps and maintaining cordial friendships. No need to die cos you wanna stay married. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by donb06: 5:52pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
sanpipita:but do you believe that if children were to choose who bring them into this world,NO CHILD will ever chose single parenting over parents as unit.... a worst case scenario of both parents raising a child is still better than a worst case scenario of single parenting... also the best case scenario both parents being there cant even be compared to the best case scenario of single parenting 2 Likes |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by somehow: 5:53pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
sanpipita: Sinply define what you understand by a family unit sir. Leave the features and characteristics for now. We will handle that later. 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by crackhaus: 5:53pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Tedpgrass:Effective communication is key to understanding ![]() ![]() |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 5:59pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
somehow: I did only went farther to explain family unit goes beyond the parents and kids but how we they are working. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by donb06: 6:01pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
Organism000:here comes the real problem MONEY. you guys think money is every thing...those things you call OTHERWISE are the real things the child needs yet they take turns in doing it based on how both parents see life. the child becomes confused he/she is scattered and might never recover from it even with the whole money. mummy tells me something daddy tells me another. daddy and mommy will be seriously competing for the child's love even if it means painting mummy or daddy black.....bro there is more to it than just finance 1 Like |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by sanpipita(m): 6:03pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
donb06: Unfortunately kids don't choose, the choice is on those who decide to bring them into the world, and its their responsibility to make sure they get best parenting whether single or otherwise, parenting has no definite manual. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by somehow: 6:06pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
sanpipita: Well your definition cant be a defintion sir. What you did was like explaining an opinion which can't be said to be a definition sir. I believe you know why i said the above. In school, we are asked to define, then explain. You explained your opinion but no definition to reference. |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by blazer2018: 6:06pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
alignacademy: U are welcome bro |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by zakari247(m): 6:06pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
KanwuliaExtra:cheap fools like these want food put to their mouth after been served. that Mr the had told you about a problem in our society today which is not normal, and the solution to that teenager is your conscience, your morality to understand that you are in the society too which in one way or the other you will be affected. the solution is condemning the awful, and telling people especially yourself that your action has an impact to the lives of other people. so grow a little bit mature when you criticize people even as you have nothing to offer and perhaps you're one of those that has impregnated a little girl whom had born a bastard with an irresponsible father whom could bear sustain himself or guide himself morally, how can such a pig ever raise a human with full senses |
Re: Should We Really Ignore Dysfunctional Families? by Nobody: 6:09pm On Jun 26, 2018 |
donb06: The problem is that you marriage ideologists choose to be married because your parents were married and you want your kids to be married because your parents married and you married and you want your kids to be married. The woes in marriage is caused by these mind control organisations like religions, customary and traditional institutions that have become mind control apparati for programming of spirits. Humans came into this world for some experiences and to be happy. If marriage makes you unhappy please move on and find new love and sex partners. Kids do not need your broken morals. Kids are born with better blueprints than the current indoctrinations. Marriage is a scam built around love. Love is what you need and not marriage. If there is no love in marriage then move on and contribute to child support. If parents quarrel and fight you have nothing to teach the kids about marriage so don't be a hypocrite. Move on and let other people teach the kids better values. 2 Likes |
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