alignacademy:
We keep seeing new headlines of "baby mamas" and "baby kids". And it's easy to glamorize it

What I can deduced from your opinion is, babies born out of wedlock are dysfunctional kids from dysfunctional home, and probably the problem to the world.

Unless you have a different undertone to your opinion, be kind to share

KanwuliaExtra:
Are they complaining?
What solutions are you proposing if YOU see problems.
I don’t, so good luck!

Short sighted

Chubhie:

Until we take the evil of poverty out of the people and create an ideal environment for civilized humans, I see no lasting solution.

We must at least provide our people with the basic things of life. food clothing and shelter.

Babymamas and children with no parents are everywhere in the western world especially THE USA. can you say this came about because of poverty?

Poverty is not the reason for this attitude, it has more to do with morale breakdown, lack of effective education in social and personal responsibility.

Every decision i take now will surely affect the society at large.

AZeD1:
What's your definition of a dysfunctional family.

Let start from there.

Totally agree....





At op.....alignacademy


From your ruminations above, several aberrations have been identified- not necessarily dysfunctional..depending on the context of the narrative.

Taking 1/2 of your descriptions, factors affecting its incidence/ prevalence and possible cure or limitation of the disastrous symptoms or consequences can.be identified give the different socio-economic indices.

Then progress can be made and sustained.


.

Koolking:


What I can deduced from your opinion is, babies born out of wedlock are dysfunctional kids from dysfunctional home, and probably the problem to the world.

Unless you have a different undertone to your opinion, be kind to share

Thanks for the feedback

Interesting perspective you add there: the problem of the world! Aren't you stretching it a bit?

Like I noted earlier, I shared my opinion after watching a TV program that showcased kids with no families

It dawned on me that these kids didn't bring themselves to the world. Possibly by adults who weren't ready for the responsibilities of raising children.

Our traditional family values here in Africa are being eroded. You don't need a sermon to realize that.

Ignoring this sad situation because "it's not my portion" just won't cut it. The family is the basic unit of society. We are all in this together.

Conversations like this could help us share ideas on the importance of better choices in our personal lives, doing things that would be in the best interest of everyone

What do you think?

Tedpgrass:


Totally agree....





At op.....alignacademy


From your ruminations above, several aberrations have been identified- not necessarily dysfunctional..depending on the context of the narrative.

Taking 1/2 of your descriptions, factors affecting its incidence/ prevalence and possible cure or limitation of the disastrous symptoms or consequences can.be identified give the different socio-economic indices.

Then progress can be made and sustained.

Thanks for the feedback

Sorry, could you break that down?

English isn't my mother tongue, y'know...

Thanks again

blazer2018:
Immediately i saw the topic, i knew pple will come for d OP's head...

Naturally it does look as if its not d OP's biz...yes its not his biz but it becomes our collective problem when we begin to feel d ripple effect... because when we have too many dysfunctional homes in d society it will surely have domino effect on d entire country as a whole

The Yorubas will say 'inu ile to n toro, omo ale ibe ni o ti dagba'...meaning 'a house that is peaceful is due to d fact that d bastard in d house have not come of age'...

So 4 all d baby mamas and papas condemning him, e binu (make una no vex)... it's 4 our collective good

Note:Not all those that come from dysfunctional homes constitute nuisance to d society, but they contribute d highest percentage to it.

Thanks for sharing these insights

I didn't know of the Yoruba saying. Indeed, the words of our elders are words of wisdom

Thanks again

Chubhie:
I'm worried for this age where women are licensed to bare it all in the name of baby showers or whatever name they call it.

Licensed by who? why does it seems like you have issues with just women, the baby fathers nko? treat issue wholly and don't start blaming one gender

My take here is there's nothing dysfunctional abt baby mamas or baby daddies, we are in a age people have different ways to living and you can totally call it dysfunctional atleast if it works for them, as long as these kids are taken care of, I don't see the issue.

yeyerolling:
trash, which family is not dysfunctional in nigeria whats d diff btw a baby mama and a widow

Huge difference

KanwuliaExtra:


There are some situations that are not in YOUR control. How do you deal with matters you can’t control?

You talk about “personal responsibility”!
Well there! How do YOU talk about personal responsibility for situations that are not YOURS?

Do you have the resources or authority to deal with matters that concern others?

If you set up an NGO, and advertise your concerns, goals and preferred solutions to those CONCERNED. . . . you may have some luck.
Is your audience on NL?

Till then, you are just writing for the sake of writing.

No! I nor join o. Not my gaddem BIZZ!

definitely not ur bizz until you become a victim of one of these children raised this way.... then YOUR GOD will remind when u said its non of ur BIZZ

alignacademy:


Thanks for the feedback

Interesting perspective you add there: the problem of the world! Aren't you stretching it a bit?

Like I noted earlier, I shared my opinion after watching a TV program that showcased kids with no families

It dawned on me that these kids didn't bring themselves to the world. Possibly by adults who weren't ready for the responsibilities of raising children.

Our traditional family values here in Africa are being eroded. You don't need a sermon to realize that.

Ignoring this sad situation because "it's not my portion" just won't cut it. The family is the basic unit of society. We are all in this together.

Conversations like this could help us share ideas on the importance of better choices in our personal lives, doing things that would be in the best interest of everyone

What do you think?

You are just being emotional and stereotypical.

African values are not eroded because there are many 'dysfunctional' kids (as you labelled kids out of wedlock) but because the social institutions (both parents-family, church, schools, society) have failed in their responsibilities.
We have been acculturated to western norms and pop culture. Anything less is seen as abnormal and completely alienated. These are not functions of dysfunctional kids.

I have seen and mingled with 'dysfunctional kids' who were raised by single parents becoming the change that the community needs. I have also seen 'functional' kids (raised by both parents) becoming the common bowl for the community's spit.

Rusty society is not a byproduct of 'dysfunctional' kids but holistic compromise by both 'functional' and 'dysfunctional' (You and I included).

What is the definition of a family unit to you? Let's start from there..

sanpipita:
My take here is there's nothing dysfunctional abt baby mamas or baby daddies, we are in a age people have different ways to living and you can totally call it dysfunctional atleast if it works for them, as long as these kids are taken care of, I don't see the issue.

sanpipita:
My take here is there's nothing dysfunctional abt baby mamas or baby daddies, we are in a age people have different ways to living and you can totally call it dysfunctional atleast if it works for them, as long as these kids are taken care of, I don't see the issue.

most people think taken care is only money... One part of that child is missing ... at least i have heard several about several ladies being victim of men and the excuse they always give is my father was not there for me... and guys saying almost same things.

Organism000:
Who made you a supervisor over how others should raise their children ?

Is it your responsibility to uphold the tenets of marriage for the Gods of the Octopus AI ?

Marriage is not natural, it is not found in nature, it is a human construct designed to keep women as lesser mortals. There is no need for marriage other than companionship and sharing of bills and sometimes love. And love is fleeting mostly. As long as two or more people feel love for each other or one another, they have right to enjoy their sex lives and if children come during this intercourse, they should design a child support template to take care of the child's upkeep.

And if the love wanes away, the partners need to separate and move on with new partners and enjoy their sex lives. This practice of living with a partner you no longer love for ever because of religions, customs and traditions, or even the fear of what people will say should stop henceforth. When the love is over, do not force it, it is natural. Even if the Gods tell you to live together, tell them to come and stay with unhappy person. Do not let the Gods dictate for you to suffer for a lifetime. If it is so easy, let them come down to 3rd Density and deal and see how life is.

No parents should live together in hatred for the sole purpose of raising their children as a uniting factor, the children raise in such atmosphere are worst than those raised in atmosphere of loving single parents.


Marriage is a human construct and is not important in the eternal scheme of things except you meet with your twin flame and decide to work out your karma during this life-time.

I am pro-love, and not pro-marriage and if the Gods do not accept my stance, they should come here and do the time and see how it feels.

By reducing LOVE to fleeting emotions and sexual pleasure, you are reducing human beings to brute animals and LOVE loses its essence.
Marriage is not natural? Really
Even though our ancestors were polygamous, they were still pro-marriage, even some animals have only one mate for life.
Then the part of abandoning your children to social welfare doesn't cut it at all, how can you claim to be pro-love and the best you can do for your children is social welfare.

Koolking:


You are just being emotional and stereotypical.

African values are not eroded because there are many 'dysfunctional' kids (as you labelled kids out of wedlock) but because the social institutions (both parents-family, church, schools, society) have failed in their responsibilities.

We have been acculturated to western norms and pop culture. Anything less is seen as abnormal and completely alienated. These are not functions of dysfunctional kids.

I have seen and mingled with 'dysfunctional kids' who were raised by single parents becoming the change that the community needs. I have also seen 'functional' kids (raised by both parents) becoming the common bowl for the community's spit.

Rusty society is not a byproduct of 'dysfunctional' kids but holistic compromise by both 'functional' and 'dysfunctional' (You and I included).

Thanks for sharing your point of view

It’s easier to say but we do owe it to ourselves to make relationships work for the sake of our kids perfection is not the aim but we must learn from our mistakes ..sometimes it may not even be your physical kid Maybe a step child sef anyone your responsible for you owe it too to at least be civil and welcoming to your spouse

Cover their shame even when they expose yours you will learn what love is all about

donb06:
most people think taken care is only money... One part of that child is missing ... at least i have heard several about several ladies being victim of men and the excuse they always give is my father was not there for me... and guys saying almost same things.

But you must admit there are single parents who have done better job than a couple as a unit? some kids with a mother and daddy will also tell you one of them wasnt there for them, theres no definite manual in raising a good home.

alignacademy:

Thank you for your input
I'll certainly look out for the book.
Thanks again

You're welcome

somehow:
What is the definition of a family unit to you? Let's start from there..

A family unit goes beyond having a father and mother, you could have both and lack a family unit, my major point is how is this kid faring with people or who is his family.

sanpipita:


But you must admit there are single parents who have done better job than a couple as a unit? some kids with a mother and daddy will also tell you one of them wasnt there for them, theres no definite manual in raising a good home.

TRUE... but then lets look at the rates....

Youngbishop1:


By reducing LOVE to fleeting emotions and sexual pleasure, you are reducing human beings to brute animals and LOVE loses its essence.
Marriage is not natural? Really
Even though our ancestors were polygamous, they were still pro-marriage, even some animals have only one mate for life.
Then the part of abandoning your children to social welfare doesn't cut it at all, how can you claim to be pro-love and the best you can do for your children is social welfare.

Love is nothing more than a fleeting emotion, just like anger and every other aspects of feelings and should not be taken seriously apart from utilizing it for the magic of activating the energy centers and raising consciousness. Those of you who mis-inteprete what love is, are the heart broken ones who fall in love for the pusssy and get scammed of your pennies. I know what Love is, and I feel it in my heart, but when love is trying to make me fucck up, I throw the love away and use my brain anytime. So, learn from the masters.

Animals do not have one mate for life, I have no idea if you have any knowledge of the animal kingdom. But I can assure you that no animal keep a single love partner for a life-time except they are imprisoned in a cage, cell or controlled habitat and deprived of their freedom of choice of sex mates.

You have a rather naive definition of what I term child-support, to equate Child support to abandoning a child shows that there is a greater level of dysfunction of your understanding of this subject than I thought. If both parents contribute financially and otherwise to the up keep of the children while they take turns as custodians of the children, does that equate to abandonment in your understanding of life ?

Now, make sure you understand what Love is, and what lust means, then differentiate Child Support from Abandonment then you will figure out what a child really needs. Because no child can grow psychologically balanced in at atmosphere of parently discord and in-fighting. It is better for the parents to divorce when there is no more love and not waste the opportunties to be loved because of 'children', in which case the kids themselves grow up to dysfunctional because of being raised in love-less homes.

Victims are mostly victims of these wild men and I advise women to move on with their lives if the men become toxic and men should also move on if their wives become toxic and each person should find a loving partner to enjoy great sex lives while negotiating on up keeps and maintaining cordial friendships.

No need to die cos you wanna stay married.

sanpipita:


But you must admit there are single parents who have done better job than a couple as a unit? some kids with a mother and daddy will also tell you one of them wasnt there for them, theres no definite manual in raising a good home.

but do you believe that if children were to choose who bring them into this world,NO CHILD will ever chose single parenting over parents as unit.... a worst case scenario of both parents raising a child is still better than a worst case scenario of single parenting... also the best case scenario both parents being there cant even be compared to the best case scenario of single parenting

sanpipita:


A family unit goes beyond having a father and mother, you could have both and lack a family unit, my major point is how is this kid faring with people or who is his family.

Sinply define what you understand by a family unit sir. Leave the features and characteristics for now. We will handle that later.

Tedpgrass:


Totally agree....





At op.....alignacademy


From your ruminations above, several aberrations have been identified- not necessarily dysfunctional..depending on the context of the narrative.

Taking 1/2 of your descriptions, factors affecting its incidence/ prevalence and possible cure or limitation of the disastrous symptoms or consequences can.be identified give the different socio-economic indices.

Then progress can be made and sustained.


.

Effective communication is key to understanding

somehow:


Sinply define what you understand by a family unit sir. Leave the features and characteristics for now. We will handle that later.

I did only went farther to explain family unit goes beyond the parents and kids but how we they are working.

Organism000:


Love is nothing more than a fleeting emotion, just like anger and every other aspects of feelings and should not be taken seriously apart from utilizing it for the magic of activating the energy centers and raising consciousness. Those of you who misinteprete what love is, are the heart broken ones who fall in love for the pusssy and get scammed of your pennies. I know what Love is, and I feel it in my heart, but when love is trying to make me fucck up, I throw the love away and use my brain anytime. So, learn from the masters.

Animals do not have one mate for life, I have no idea if you have any knowledge of the animal kingdom. But I can assure you no longer keeps a single partner for a life-time except they are imprisoned in a cage, cell or controlled habitat.

You have a rather naive definition of what I term child-support, to equate Child support to abandoning a child shows that there is a greater level of dysfunction of your understanding of this subject than I thought. If both parents contribute financially and otherwise to the up keep of the children while they take turns as custodians of the children, does that equate to abandonment in your understanding of life ?

Now, make sure you understand what Love is, and what lust means, then differentiate Child Support from Abandonment then you will figure out what a child really needs. Because no child can grow psychologically balanced in at atmosphere of parently discord and in-fighting. It is better for the parents to divorce when there is no more love and not waste the opportunties to be loved because of 'children', in which case the kids themselves grow up to dysfunctional because of being raised in love-less homes.

Victims are mostly victims of these wild men and I advise women to move on with their lives if the men become toxic and men should also move on if their wives become toxic and each person should find a loving partner to enjoy great sex lives while negotiating on up keeps and maintaining cordial friendships.

No need to die cos you wanna stay married.

here comes the real problem MONEY. you guys think money is every thing...those things you call OTHERWISE are the real things the child needs yet they take turns in doing it based on how both parents see life. the child becomes confused he/she is scattered and might never recover from it even with the whole money. mummy tells me something daddy tells me another. daddy and mommy will be seriously competing for the child's love even if it means painting mummy or daddy black.....bro there is more to it than just finance

donb06:
but do you believe that if children were to choose who bring them into this world,NO CHILD will ever chose single parenting over parents as unit.... a worst case scenario of both parents raising a child is still better than a worst case scenario of single parenting... also the best case scenario both parents being there cant even be compared to the best case scenario of single parenting

Unfortunately kids don't choose, the choice is on those who decide to bring them into the world, and its their responsibility to make sure they get best parenting whether single or otherwise, parenting has no definite manual.

sanpipita:


I did only went farther to explain family unit goes beyond the parents and kids but how we they are working.

Well your definition cant be a defintion sir. What you did was like explaining an opinion which can't be said to be a definition sir.

I believe you know why i said the above.

In school, we are asked to define, then explain.

You explained your opinion but no definition to reference.

alignacademy:


Thanks for sharing these insights

I didn't know of the Yoruba saying. Indeed, the words of our elders are words of wisdom

Thanks again

U are welcome bro

KanwuliaExtra:


Like I stated earlier.

You feel there are problems.
Abi you need money to start an NGO?
You keep writing “we” here and “we” there.
I nor join o.

Please, offer solutions. Na you see problems abi?
Thanks.

cheap fools like these want food put to their mouth after been served. that Mr the had told you about a problem in our society today which is not normal, and the solution to that teenager is your conscience, your morality to understand that you are in the society too which in one way or the other you will be affected. the solution is condemning the awful, and telling people especially yourself that your action has an impact to the lives of other people. so grow a little bit mature when you criticize people even as you have nothing to offer and perhaps you're one of those that has impregnated a little girl whom had born a bastard with an irresponsible father whom could bear sustain himself or guide himself morally, how can such a pig ever raise a human with full senses

donb06:
here comes the real problem MONEY. you guys think money is every thing...those things you call OTHERWISE are the real things the child needs yet they take turns in doing it based on how both parents see life. the child becomes confused he/she is scattered and might never recover from it even with the whole money. mummy tells me something daddy tells me another. daddy and mommy will be seriously competing for the child's love even if it means painting mummy or daddy black.....bro there is more to it than just finance

The problem is that you marriage ideologists choose to be married because your parents were married and you want your kids to be married because your parents married and you married and you want your kids to be married.

The woes in marriage is caused by these mind control organisations like religions, customary and traditional institutions that have become mind control apparati for programming of spirits.

Humans came into this world for some experiences and to be happy. If marriage makes you unhappy please move on and find new love and sex partners. Kids do not need your broken morals. Kids are born with better blueprints than the current indoctrinations.

Marriage is a scam built around love. Love is what you need and not marriage. If there is no love in marriage then move on and contribute to child support. If parents quarrel and fight you have nothing to teach the kids about marriage so don't be a hypocrite. Move on and let other people teach the kids better values.