onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

Let The Bible Guide Ur Brother On That
Pls Read 1CORINTHIANS 7:10-16, 39&40
GOD BLESS

SapphirePRINCEX:
People like you are reasons women die in abusive marriages

I put it to you that you are being economical with reasoning

cococandy:


Personally I wouldn’t marry a man with 3 kids. If that’s what’s you’re asking. I’m not capable of that type of responsibility. However if someone else feels they can handle it, why not?

[b]The thing I’m against is discrimination against single parents as if there’s something wrong with them personally[/b]

@ bolded, sometime something is wrong with them, some times something is not wrong with them. We can't just defend or castigate them.
However many marriages that lasted for ages doesn't come without challenges, some are ready to confront the challenges to make it work (some times for the sake of the kids) while some really don't care, they are ready to move on.

My question is if a man or a woman refused to make his/her marriage to work for the first time, what guarantee they he/she will put in enough effort to make it work the second time.

I'm having same issue with a friend of mine, he married a divocee who claimed she was emotionally totured and violently abused but the woman is in the court now seeking another divorce from the man. In fact I can say the woman is the one who is really torturing this said man to the extent that she claimed everything they built together. Funny that the man was amused that his wife of 10 years just finds it easy to seek for divorce while he was trying to cope with the marriage for the sake of those children.

What I'm saying in essence is that some Poeple don't just have that patience to make things work and they jump from one marriage to another.

kingkakaone:

Always wise and mature on issues like this except on politics where I am against the party u support as I dislike all political parties in Nigeria.

I may support Ur Markaffi if he comes out as PDP candidate if not, I won't vote at all.

I think the man is a Progressive Democrat.

I'm not supporting any party sha.

Thanks bro... The most important is that you vote your conscience

Ageku ejo!

onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

He should marry her na! Three kids no plenty! If to say na like 17 pikin now, I for say problem fit dey!
I no know when una start all these rubbish "liberal" thinking for this country! You see problem for front still wan chook head! So woman don finish for this country, ba?
Your brother need hot slap to reset his head! Nonsense!!!

milemimi93:


women always playin the victim card since 15BC.

And for the ex to leave the kids with her shows those kids do not belong to her ex.

Can you prove that the children do not belong to her ex husband?

Logical and not emotional decision is key
I almost got trapped with a single mum of 2
But I had talk to myself if I was ready for the aftermath
Thank goodness I didn't fall for it

cococandy:
That’s a lot of responsibility for him to assume. Let him not get carried away by new love and get committed into responsibilities that will weigh heavily on him later.

That’s being said , if he has thoroughly searched his heart and he believes he’s doing this for the right reason (not infatuation) and that he can actually do it when it starts getting tough, then I can point out a few positives that I already see in the woman.

1)She’s brave to walk away from an abusive marriage with three kids. If she lives in Nigeria, she’s a really strong mama. That’s the kind of strong woman you want as an ally. On your side not against you.

2) she’s not desperate to hook up. some women because of societal pressures and mockery often latch onto the next guy that proposes marriage even if it means giving up their kids maybe to grand parents or relatives. This woman wants her kids with her or no marriage. Give her one bottle jimmy choo .

lol, how single never married before young men fall in love with an after one or two lady baffles me sha.

A woman that has given birth to not just one, but two, three Hmm....people de for this world sha.

I thank for the way He created me. The mere imagination that a lady has given birth makes me lose sexual interest in her talk less of marrying her, odiegwu

onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

uhmmmm, I am very confused.
please can we talk about this privately. i don't knw how to send u a private msg here. thanks

eyinjuege:
3 children is a lot.
Even if she is working and can financially cater for the children, it will still be a stressful job for the man in question, especially if he's young and doesn't have his own children yet.
I can't even advice a young girl to do such and marry a man with 3 young kids. Na stress go kill am.
Let yoir brother go and look for someone else, unless he has the strenght and mind to look after another person's child as his. Not everyone can do that
Love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener. I'm not questioning the integrity of the woman or why she is divorced.
I understand completely that marriage is not by force, and its better to be divorced with peace of mind than married with stress and psychological issues where death may even be a better option to you.
I'm just concerned for your brother that 3 young children may be too much.
What that woman needs is an older gentleman, with relatively grown children of his own, and isn't pressured to have a biological child with her. They need to marry for companionship and not necessarily for procreation.

That guy must not be Yoruba sha. I trust my Yoruba demons....ehhn, three kids ke, Olorunmaje!

Woman wey get one kid sef, mttcheeew....she must be stunningly fvckable to be accepted for marriage, not talk of 3!

onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

There is nothing wrong in that what matters is if they love each other genuinely. Does kids could be they ones God sent to further enhance his work on earth. This issue of biological kids are rubbish . Everything na vanity.

eyinjuege:
3 children is a lot.
Even if she is working and can financially cater for the children, it will still be a stressful job for the man in question, especially if he's young and doesn't have his own children yet.
I can't even advice a young girl to do such and marry a man with 3 young kids. Na stress go kill am.
Let yoir brother go and look for someone else, unless he has the strenght and mind to look after another person's child as his. Not everyone can do that
Love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener. I'm not questioning the integrity of the woman or why she is divorced.
I understand completely that marriage is not by force, and its better to be divorced with peace of mind than married with stress and psychological issues where death may even be a better option to you.
I'm just concerned for your brother that 3 young children may be too much.
What that woman needs is an older gentleman, with relatively grown children of his own, and isn't pressured to have a biological child with her. They need to marry for companionship and not necessarily for procreation.

Awwwww, very touching. God bless u.
Marry for companionship and not necessarily for procreation.... NICE

boxer022:

Can you prove that the children do not belong to her ex husband?

those kids are no longer infants accordin to op. So why are there still unda d woman's costdy?

PS; make sure u carry out DNA on all ur kids. Don't trust women.

DAMILAREY85:
to start with, it is spiritually and physically unhealthy to marry a divorcee let alone having 3kids (responsibilities).
SPIRITUALLY: the Bible says any man who marries a DIVORCEE (not a WIDOW) has committed adultery with her. remember the woman who had encounter with Jesus at the well. Jesus emphatically told her you had 7 husbands b4 and the one u r with now is not ur husband. unfortunately I can't search the scriptures rite now as an in a bus typing.
PHYSICALLY:
1. what led to the divorce: remember God said in the book of MALACHI that he (GOD) hates divorce.
2. (I) what type of woman is she? no sane man would ever leave his 3 biological kids for a woman to take away even if his not taking care of them, so for a man to have allowed her go with the kids means something is fishy (Find out) except she took them to a place where the man can have no traces or legal backing to claim his children.
(ii) u r a young man about to start life (marital journey) and u won to enter carrying 3 responsibilities u r not responsible for, my brother think well or better still ask ur father how easy it is to carry his family responsibilities and then adding another 3 external extended family members.
my brother think well this can not be the will of God for u.
if she had bin a single and had never married mother with just one child then it is understandable but a DIVORCEE with 3 kids,
my brother tell MOTHER to pray for.
Thanks and God bless you.
07068458678, daremathew87@gmail.com

I wonder why your post didn't get any "like" until I liked it. You made a lot of sense.

Moukandjo:

He should marry her na! Three kids no plenty! If to say na like 17 pikin now, I for say problem fit dey!
I no know when una start all these rubbish "liberal" thinking for this country! You see problem for front still wan chook head! So woman don finish for this country, ba?
Your brother need hot slap to reset his head! Nonsense!!!

I don tell am send that boy to me. I get fresh girls...they need a man. Instead spend his whole salary on school fees for children wey no be hin own kuku spend on these girsl to do hair and nail and get sexy for you so you mount her and upgrade ya manhood. Easy arithmetic.

Very traumatizing, i only hope he will not one day start the blame game... Because that will be the begining of the worst days of his life.

TonyeBarcanista:
Thanks bro... The most important is that you vote your conscience

Yeah. But I'm rooting for a person, not the party per say.

It depends on the man’s bank accounts and he must be sure that he’s very ready to take all the responsibilities because Na jeje wahala dey wey hin go tickle am o

onyekabe:
she claims that her ex is violent and a womanizer

That is what they say when they begin to cheat on you and want an exit.

Swint:
so cos she has three kids you automatically see her as not good enough for marriage. The ex is obviously irresponsible for leaving the kids and she’s a very strong lady especially for having the mind to insist her kids must stay with her women with lesser strength will dump the kids and follow the man. Everyone deserves a second chance at happiness

whether she has 3kids or zero kid, she is not good enough for marriage.

All naija women born from the 80s are not wife materials.

It could be that the reason she is in costdy of those kids is because her ex isn't the real dad of those kids and that might even be the reason for d divorce.

Trust naija women at ur own peril.

This is serious.
3 Kids that are not his?

Seriously

My honest opinion is let that your brother calm down.
He is definitely not seeing straight.

He is definitely enjoying the love of a married woman.
Such love is infectious and deep.

But by the time the love fades his eyes will be open.
He will see reality.
He would Suddenly come to think he was hypnotised.

My thought is, no rational and sane single man would ever want to settle down with a woman with 3 kids, not even 1.

I tell you he will become bald headed in less than 5 years.
That responsibilty is too much.

franchasng:
lol, how single never married before young men fall in love with an after one or two lady baffles me sha.

...

That is one of the effects of a large population of today's ladies forming Slay Queens rather than training themselves to become a responsible wife.

SapphirePRINCEX:
Dear u don't have to think like that...

You have met wrong bad women, likewise some of us have met the wrong bad guys.. The ex might not even be paying for children support, all I could say is, the said woman is a strong lady, I admire her strength for taking up those kids alone. Whatever the reason for there divorce.

I don't termed this kind of ladies as 'strong'.

She is with the kids probably because her ex isn't d fada of those tins.
This might even be the reason for their divorce.

Naija women are very terrible and trickish.

3 out of 5 children given birth to by a naija woman do not belong to her husband. The 3 kids are away match while the 2 belong to her husband.

Let very man carries out DNA on their children.

It's totally wrong

Moukandjo:

He should marry her na! Three kids no plenty! If to say na like 17 pikin now, I for say problem fit dey!
I no know when una start all these rubbish "liberal" thinking for this country! You see problem for front still wan chook head! So woman don finish for this country, ba?
Your brother need hot slap to reset his head! Nonsense!!!

Sometimes, I like the way we correct our own for Naija. No sugar-coating or undue pampering, serving it raw...

angelbulksms:


That is one of the effects of a large population of today's ladies forming Slay Queens rather than training themselves to become a responsible wife.

I don't want to judge; God forgive me but I don't think guys that do such do it on a clear eyes. Most get lured into it with monetary favours from the single mother, some its sex, some they get trapped with jazz.

But I can't imagine myself having sex with a lady that I know has given birth, my kingpin won't stand at the thought of it. I don't know why I am wired that way, but pls it doesn't mean single mothers are unmarriageable, just that I don't see myself doing such sha

BabaRamota1980:


That guy must not be Yoruba sha. I trust my Yoruba demons....ehhn, three kids ke, Olorunmaje!

Woman wey get one kid sef, mttcheeew....she must be stunningly fvckable to be accepted for marriage, not talk of 3!

maybe she is prettier, hotter and richer than Bianca Ojukwu and Kim Kardashian combined, aside that, it must not be ordinary

onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

Yes, if you are impotent and unable to father children of your own.

Capital No

majamajic:
it's wise, your bro is cultivating on a fertile soil ,

where were the family members when your bro was going through difficulties ?

my own be say, wetin a man see and run leaving his 3kids �

Such a man may be lazy, a ne'er-do-well, selfish and jobless. Or he may simply not want the kids now because of their tender years.

And as for the Op, that is your friend's decision alone. If he is not man enough to make that decision without his family's interference then he is not man enough to get married.

onyekabe:
There is this my brother, he has never been married. But now he said he has seen a woman he wants to marry.

But the problem is that his family members are not in support of the marriage because the woman is a divorcee with 3 kids under the age of 10. The kids live with the woman.

The question is, is it wise for this man to marry this woman and take responsibility of the kids because the woman says her kids must be with her.

My brother please don't pass that road