Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

Babyforever kind of dream man

But we ladies can complain sha

what is it u are complaining .cos I don't see any problem here, do u want us to advice u to leave him, when he is rich according to u? we all know u wouldn't leave him because of money, so sort everything out your self and please him

very simple,you people can balance it.sit him down and make him realise u dont like flamboyant lifestyle. If he is truly a man and not a guy,he wouldn't leave u cos of that cos i blive he doesn't love u because of make up....according to ur story,he proposes to u when u were not on make upso i bliv he should love u even without it. Just sit him down and let him know ur own view of things. It might even change his life.....all d money he is spending lavishly can be diverted to better physical projects

See the kind dude wen slayqueens dey find, na him God giv u and u no wan adapt, u wan dull him.....

Wait until Slayqueens get hold of that your man.....

Women are just too hard to please



What u have my dear is the type of man most women are dying to have.
And all you do is complain?!

If you know u can't deal with his standard of living
Why date him in the first place?

Stop the whining please!

I dint ask for this extra piece of land.

I used to have a woman like him..Even though she was to the best of my knowledge, faithful, had to replace her with a girl from an average family and with a simple lifestyle when it became clear to me I can not cope with her lifestyle.

Maybe you should just do same.

I am happy now and I want you to be happy too

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors.

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.
He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.
He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this
He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

That's why I always encourage my fellow men from rich families to stop dating or marrying girls from poorer homes because the reverse is rarely the case...
Op, I will advise you to break up with him and look for a young man within your social and financial class...
You are a very modest person, and as such, you need to cut your coat according to your size and material.

While it's tiring to you, I think it might be the case of an innocent guy who just loves showing off his woman with every lil chance he gets.. He's probably happy he's dating u no doubt, I think ur his pride n he enjoys showing you off that's why he wants u going out with him to events..trust me most guys don't have time for that, most guys preferred going to events when they know they'll get their privacy to live n flex with friends.. U said he's from a rich home, a rich kid won't bother taking u out if he's not in love with u, he'll just keep smashing you behind doors and appear single to outsiders.
Still, I think what you need to do is call him, sit him down face to face, hold his hands n open up yourself to him, try to let him know you will go out with him on days you can but and important days when he needs you, trust me you'll need him to stop or do some stuffs he won't be comfortable with someday too.
He already proposed to you, if you're gon be couples you should be flexible in doing stuffs for your partners at times. The make up own, just learn to keep yourself glowing and it's not a must you fill your face with make ups..
Good luck

Ignore what all these kids are saying.
Any relationship that requires a change in lifestyle from you that YOU DON'T WANT is not a relationship you should be in, no matter "how lucky you should feel to be in it".

People CAN change in a relationship, but it has to be a change that is in alignment with where you want to be. E.g you are not fit but dating a person into fitness, you probably have an interest in being healthy so would easily follow them to change your lifestyle. But in this case, you have no interest in slaying.
Maybe you should be with a more simple guy?


Since "body arts" isn't your thing, you might find it too hard and not worth it trying to compete with all the slay queens who all these things come easy to and who are no doubt eyeing your rich extroverted boyfriend right now. If he likes to go to parties a lot, all it takes after a few drinks is for that girl who meets his visual spec to be giving him dutty wine and he will last like a couple of weeks. Prepare to be cheated on to stupor if you already "don't know if you can cope" and yet choose to continue.

Awon Nkechi tin wo bobo e

If it was any other thing, I would talk about compromise and yada yada, but when it comes to a man's visual taste, that is something we can't even play with EVEN IF WE TRIED. I'm sure you've heard it said several times that men are visual.

Sure He sees something in you that he isn't seeing in these physical girls (loyalty, homeliness, etc), but the fact he is always trying to change your look shows that he too is making a mistake. Sooner or later, one person will have to grow up.

It’s important not to lose your identity when you’re in a relationship so I won’t say change yourself for him, however a little compromising won’t hurt, this is part of what relationships are about. Sit him down and talk about your concerns, suggest meeting each other half way i.e. rather than a makeup artist, find a look that is neither overboard, nor too plain, same for your outfits. Tell him you don’t want to go to every single event, but don’t stay at home every single time, go every now and then.

Only serious thing you’ve mentioned is the fact that he brings people into your private business tbh, tell him it’s violating your trust and it isn’t healthy for your relationship. Only time any of you should be talking to others about your marital issues is if you’re in genuine danger.

If you don’t think you can compromise however and it makes you that uncomfortable maybe call it quits, some people just aren’t compatible

You already know his life style,, yet got attach to him,, you know all these you highlighted,,, yet he proposed,, u said yes,, and now you asking if you do cope,,,

Don't you think it's funny... You already know the answer... You sure know you can't cope...,, trust me

And now will you want to reverse the proposal...

Marry him n watch him go after another lady who will please his eye n desire

Sister, this is someone you are clearly incompatible with. What is keeping you there? The money? Its got to be that. Why else would you stay with someone that is so not compatible with you. Na you sabi shaa. You already know what to do. You also know what is drawing your throat. Meezie nke ka gi mma.

I also dated someone like that,who couldn't sit at a place and loved to party,he wanted me to wear extremely skimpy things,to cut my jeans etc,and I am a not so reserved but I wasn't brought up with such a lifestyle. We almost got married too but we broke up four months to the supposed wedding. I am happy today I didn't marry him,he would have probably taken me away from my faith which is of utmost importance to me. But I Also believe there are certain things one ought to change after getting married, as a lady or as a guy cos u are going to be living with someone from an utterly different background and ideology. So I advise that u weigh your options ,no one can decide this better than u,analyse the situation and think with your head not your heart. Pray about it also then pls and pls make the right decision, marriage ain't childplay.

Op you are not serious, I swear.

Break up with him and seek for simple average or poor man to marry. And you won't need to dress flashy or use makeup. U will be as plain as Jane. And be at peace with yourself. Sorry to say, u are selfish. In marriage u need to adjust yourself to each other needs. It can't be just you you you. If both of you can't come to a compromise on how to accept each other and bend to an extent then better breakup o.
Cos if u don't breakup now and u continue like this, sorry divorce or having a second wife is waiting quietly at your door step in the nearest future. The choice is yours.

Nothing you can do to satisfy a woman....they re confuse set if people

KELVINXY:
Women are just too hard to please



What u have my dear is the type of a man most women are dying to have.
And all you do is complain?!

If you know u can't deal with his standard of living
Why date him in the first place?

Stop the whining please!

LADIES are not hard to please rather they are perpetually CONFUSED

Now I see
women are so so confused in life
They can't tell what they want

prettysassygirl:
I also dated someone like that,who couldn't sit at a place and loved to party,he wanted me to wear extremely skimpy things,to cut my jeans etc,and I am a not so reserved but I wasn't brought up with such a lifestyle. We almost got married too but we broke up four months to the supposed wedding. I am happy today I didn't marry him,he would have probably taken me away from my faith which is of utmost importance to me. But I Also believe there are certain things one ought to change after getting married, as a lady or as a guy cos u are going to be living with someone from an utterly different background and ideology. So I advise that u weigh your options ,no one can decide this better than u,analyse the situation and think with your head not your heart. Pray about it also then pls and pls make the right decision, marriage ain't childplay.

whats the important faith you talking about....?? whoshipping white devil sorry jesus

izaray:
Babyforever kind of dream man

But we ladies can complain sha

Make I catch am first before we know who dey flamboyant pass

Anything that doesn't gives you rest or peace of mind , anything that gets you worried or confused, anything that makes you feel scared about the future.....do not and I repeat, do not take these feelings for granted! If it doesn't makes you happy...let it go and you'd be shocked at how relieved nd happy you'd be afterwards. Your man is an Extrovert obviously, if you both can't compromise for each other then you both shouldn't be together. If you gonna change for him, he should too and most importantly loving and accepting each other is vital.

I won't ask you to dump him, but ask yourself, if this is the kind of life you can cope with.


I honestly don't like guys that party often....they are usually irresponsible.

This is the kind of life slaywife is dreaming of and ready to do anything to achieve it

You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

U guys have to make adjustments for each other.. Not just u alone or him alone

Lalasticlala should save this jew girl

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Lalasticlala, and Mynd44 please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.
He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.
He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this
He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Read Proverbs 27:12

After reading, you decide if you'll be wise.

If you were asked to choose any country you'd like to travel to in the world for holiday and come back home, which one will it be?

What of if you're also given the choice of any country in the world but you'll not return, which country will you choose?

Which of those 2 trips is like marriage, the first or the second?

Choose wisely

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

Exactly, some very ignorant people are confusing the whole thing with that "poverty mentality bullcrap". I share some traits with the op but I can't say I'm from the gutters. People should know where to draw the line. Op, marriage is a lifelong journey(most times) and you just can't try to fit in overnight for him.
Personality traits are seldom discarded so I'd advise you leave that dude if you can't cope. Forever is a long time to stay tortured by unending outings, flamboyance and parties. Look for someone who understands and respects your pace not necessarily at the same pace with you.