Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by adubiay: 11:22pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Martinez19: lol. The woman has more solid grounds on this issue. She used HER MONEY to build the house. It's not advisable to force love. It's either he loves her or not. He should recognise what has happened has happened, If he can't stop his wickedness, manipulation and pride and accept 50-50 ownership for the sake of love, then he Bleep off.
The op has played her part in trying to mend the relationship by offering a 50-50 ownership of the house. If the husband can't humble himself and change his ways, he should Bleep off. He is meant to apologise for trying to kick his wife out. How callous! One major problem we have in Africa is that we don't pay attention to details before we start saying rubbish, @op said she bought the LAND with her money in her name, but they BOTH contributed to build the house. I guess the husband never knew the land is in the wife's name when he was pumping his money into the project, that might have formed basis for his anger, though he is over reacting, pls madam don't scatter your marriage based on some advise here from children who are not married, admit you are wrong by putting only your name, and bring your husband back home. You have ego too, so ur caption here that your husband has ego is wrong. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by menwongo(m): 11:23pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall:
When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly, I think you bought the land, while both of you built on it. Believe me you he will never come back (have seen instances like this before) the husband only visit occasionally due to pressure from pastors but sleeps in the siting room, travel back to his new resident next morning. If you guys did court wedding change it, if not don't! Better still hide the original one and do a new fake one with his name. |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by seunfash16: 11:23pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
In order to solve this situation with ease I suggest you insert the names of your kids as the owners/beneficiaries of the property since the kids belong to both of you.
Believe me its still remains yours technically.
But never succumb to inserting your husband's name on the document!!! |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by ArinzeRaph: 11:25pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall:
He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly Then tell him to go to hell. Fūck it !!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by franchasng: 11:25pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Hmmm, 21st century marriage = SCARY ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif) |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Olabestonic001(m): 11:26pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
eniolorunfe: Whew!!!
If I were you, I would be in church first thing tomorrow morning to thank God for His deliverance.
This is a real blessing in disguise!!! So, you would have been on the streets with your children begging a man to let you into a home that you used your share of funds to build.
What if you also spent your share on your family, what would he have done Abi you sef no get family weh need money?
Be Wise Woman!!! God just exposed his heart and delivered you.
I doubt if this man ever loved you sef. It's time to wake up and sharp up.
Don't put your family in the dark about this happenings, they are probably the only ones that love you geniunely and have your real interest at heart. Most of you are really easily deceived. Women are good wordsmith and knows how to get the narrative to favor their desired end. I've a feeling that she's not telling us alot. She said from the proceeds of the business, the man used his 'own part' (I'm damned sure they both agreed) to save the life of her father-in-law. The other was used to purchase a land and she (thinking she's smarter) bought it in her name. The husband never knew such. The man apparently thought he had a great wife- began to judiciously pumped money into the land and a house 'germinated' outta it. One day, they had a sharp disagreement and she reminded the man that he had no portion in the property. He became angry and left the house. She tried to 'give the olive branch' but he was still stunned. The issue wasn't looking good. She most likely reminded him that he 'squandered' his own share on his 'family' and that caused him to wonder what his wife was driving at. He annoyingly and foolishly asked for a transfer away. She got wind of it and discovered that that man some of you foolishly called wicked for his 'stupid' request wasn't nearly as bad. He still provides for the family and leaving her in the 'big house' she is claiming is too much for her to bare. A divorce is looming! Worst still, even with the house, she still doesn't have the upper hand. So, she came here, gave her version so that people will queue behind her. And boy, are they? Woman, let me tell you; you definitely know you betrayed and have wronged that man. He used a part of your deal to take care of his father and felt your agreement meant you loved his father! Your action to make the land in your name and you saw him dancing that he's building a family house not knowing he isn't is a bad choice ma. He himself is a man that needs wisdom. Kindly go back to your man and ensure you show remorsefulness for betraying him while he takes care of his parents (remember, they're yours too). Don't mind those cheering you on here. Many of them don't understand marriage but takes it for agitation. And if you want to remain married, show genuine repentance and you'll be shocked he won't even ask you to change it to his name again. God will save your home. 10 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by TheKingIsHere: 11:26pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Eketem:
Same way he would have told them if you built the house in his name and he kicked you out as planned
Madam I have no more advice if you like go and dash him the house when he kicks you out come and throw a pity party. I don't understand Nigerian women and their desperation. He would have kicked you out without a second thought and you are acting like he is a real husband instead of doing thanksgiving Don't mind the dumb heseesall op. When the man deceives her into writing the property in his name,he will still throw her fo0lish azz out. By then she will get sense then come and write an epistle of how her husband threw her out. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by thedondada(m): 11:27pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
If you change it to his name then sorry to say you aren't very smart.
Let him go. He's banking on your desperation of Mrs to do his bidding.
He's already tried to throw you out of your own house only to discover he doesn't have the right.
It reminds me of the story of Samson. 3 times Delilah asked his weakness and 3 times he revealed to her even after being attacked. What sort of fool is that.
Let that sink in. You already know the outcome if the house is in his name.
You decide. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by CASTOSVILLA(m): 11:27pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Pataricatering: but you said nothing about the husband telling her to pack out ? Your advice is so biased and one sided ! She already said he did not want joint ownership - he wants to own the property solely but you are here saying she did not suggest it ! When she said clearly that she did and he refused ! Someone who listens to advice like yours will be a slave n her own home ! You did not say a word about a husband who was ready to throw his wife out simply because he thought the house was his ? I don’t know why some men think women are not human and therefore should be treated like animals ! I’m married and if my husband dares asks me to pack out I will burn that house down ! They had a big issue and he wanted to throw her out of the house abi, please call the OP to come here and explain in full detail why the hell her husband went that far and how manage it got to that extent. I didn't want to go into that issue because it's quite sensitive which made her not to go into detail about the cause of this whole nonsense. Yes! Oga no try to chase his wife away but what even led to that. Please this is just her side of the story and it's far from being complete and truthful. She's just showing us the part that she wants us to see and not the real gbege. Please I'm not biased but I'm fed up with incomplete stories and playing of victim by any gender. Let's trade with caution cause she might be looking for a backup to her hidden ugly story or beautiful story as the case may be. Always think twice and wisely. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by menwongo(m): 11:28pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
OgaInnocent:
So why did you register it with your name![](/faces/huh.png) Pls answer this question She didn't trust the man! No right thinking man will take this kindly |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Nobody: 11:28pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Reading through the comments here, I've come to the conclusion that most nairalanders are unintelligent, people who do not read, or read to criticise and not to understand.
The woman has said severally that what she bought was the land, while the house was a jointly built. Most of yall are already calling the man a thief who wants to reap where he didn't sow 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Jaqenhghar: 11:28pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
Cross your legs and enjoy the house with your kids. If he likes let him not return 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Lagos2canna: 11:28pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
Change it to your first son's name |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Rakash(f): 11:29pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
LewsTherin:
Ok, got that.
Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.
That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.
My advice to you and those in similar straits is First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters
Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.
Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.
Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.
Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.
My own advice. HEseesall this is the best advice so ever. learn to stand on your feet and do what is right, the honest truth is that your pastor, father, mother, his father, or his mother wont always be there with you forever especially when things go wrong and he eventually pushes u away after u have changed it to his name. the honest truth is that ego or not, that man doesnt mean well for u. suggest u change it to his children name as this person up said, if he doesnt agree to it then i am sorry prepare ur mind for a divorce. trust me when your children grow older, they would understand why you made that decision. please be careful and wise. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by bigtt76(f): 11:29pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Don't mind the man joooooor! He spent his own share anyhow and wants to latch on your own share! But you sef nor try, when you marry, you guys became one! If your father-in-law needed help, he did the right thing just like he would do if his father-in-law (your father) needed help too. You're at fault somehow but somehow, you did the right thing if it is that your father-in-law needed no help. HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
|
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by osazsky(m): 11:29pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
this woman must b very troublesome,sounds like one of my relative' wife always nagging,she Neva appreciates no matter what even when she knows she has noting to offer, always fighting to open joint account and do court marriage fear women,didn't read d body but I know say she go bend d story and play d pity game, na d man know say him don buy market kia |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Lagos2canna: 11:29pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
Change it to your first son name |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by MPESA(m): 11:30pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
folly22: Let them all know o and let him be aware they all know about it in case he wants to try another stunt in the future, those people can calm his nerves down. Pls consider using Mr and Mrs but if at all you concluded on making him the sole owner, let my people be aware of it, as many as possible sef Sir I will buy your idea but will disagree on if insisted on having sole ownership of the house ,sir what's special about this sole ownership of this said house if he refuses on MR & MRS TITLE then he should forget about it can't a woman owns a house . Let's get it to Africa way as he might be assuming of been the head of the family, HE should also know that as an African man that whatever A WOMAN OWNS is 100% belongs to her HUSBAND so my point is he shouldn't have fight for the SOLE OWNERSHIP of this said property becuse it totally belong to him as the head of the family and besides the UNION might have bear fruit , so why worried if he doesn't have any negative plans in his mind. P.S. If he refuses to use Joint ownership such as MR& MRS, then madam should CONSIDER USING NAME OF ANY OF HER CHILDRENS WITH LEGAL BACKING THAT IT CAN'T BE CHANGE WITHOUT THE CONCEPT OF THE BOTH PARTIES. SHALOM. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Martinez19(m): 11:31pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
adubiay:
One major problem we have in Africa is that we don't pay attention to details before we start saying rubbish, @op said she bought the LAND with her money in her name, but they BOTH contributed to build the house. I guess the husband never knew the land is in the wife's name when he was pumping his money into the project, that might have formed basis for his anger, though he is over reacting, pls madam don't scatter your marriage based on some advise here from children who are not married, admit you are wrong by putting only your name, and bring your husband back home. You have ego too, so ur caption here that your husband has ego is wrong. lol. The husband might have partly built the house but why is he looking for full ownership of the house? why try to reap where you didn't sow? Husband that can send his wife out of the house over a major disagreement is not the type that shares. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by babadee1(m): 11:31pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
Your husband is not a good person. He's extremely selfish and proud. Maybe it's good for both of you to take a break for a while. Let him figure out if what he wants is a house or a family. And you can also take the time to figure out whether this marriage is actually worth it for you. Give it a few weeks you'll be able to think more clearly by then. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Nobody: 11:33pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
LewsTherin:
Ok, got that.
Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.
That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.
My advice to you and those in similar straits is First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters
Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.
Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.
Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.
Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.
My own advice. Mayday! Mayday! OP this is the best advice. I repeat, Op this is the best advice. Confirm you copy, over? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by proffemi: 11:33pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Olabestonic001:
Most of you are really easily deceived. Women are good wordsmith and knows how to get the narrative to favor their desired end.
I've a feeling that she's not telling us alot. She said from the proceeds of the business, the man used his 'own part' (I'm damned sure they both agreed) to save the life of her father-in-law. The other was used to purchase a land and she (thinking she's smarter) bought it in her name. The husband never knew such.
The man apparently thought he had a great wife- began to judiciously pumped money into the land and a house 'germinated' outta it. One day, they had a sharp disagreement and she reminded the man that he had no portion in the property. He became angry and left the house. She tried to 'give the olive branch' but he was still stunned. The issue wasn't looking good. She most likely reminded him that he 'squandered' his own share on his 'family' and that caused him to wonder what his wife was driving at.
He annoyingly and foolishly asked for a transfer away. She got wind of it and discovered that that man some of you foolishly called wicked for his 'stupid' request wasn't nearly as bad. He still provides for the family and leaving her in the 'big house' she is claiming is too much for her to bare. A divorce is looming! Worst still, even with the house, she still doesn't have the upper hand. So, she came here, gave her version so that people will queue behind her. And boy, are they?
Woman, let me tell you; you definitely know you betrayed and have wronged that man. He used a part of your deal to take care of his father and felt your agreement meant you loved his father! Your action to make the land in your name and you saw him dancing that he's building a family house not knowing he isn't is a bad choice ma. He himself is a man that needs wisdom.
Kindly go back to your man and ensure you show remorsefulness for betraying him while he takes care of his parents (remember, they're yours too). Don't mind those cheering you on here. Many of them don't understand marriage but takes it for agitation. And if you want to remain married, show genuine repentance and you'll be shocked he won't even ask you to change it to his name again.
God will save your home. You nailed it. Too many kids here. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by kristonium(m): 11:34pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall:
The property only is in my name but we built it together This is where you made a mistake. You built the house together, how come it was in your name? You have to change to both your names sis 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by yipata: 11:34pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
ur such a wicked person, ur immediate family is in big trouble if really ur like this.dingbang: How did you manage to put your name as the owner or the house without letting him know? You are a snitch 1 Like |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by limitless101: 11:34pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Olabestonic001:
Most of you are really easily deceived. Women are good wordsmith and knows how to get the narrative to favor their desired end.
I've a feeling that she's not telling us alot. She said from the proceeds of the business, the man used his 'own part' (I'm damned sure they both agreed) to save the life of her father-in-law. The other was used to purchase a land and she (thinking she's smarter) bought it in her name. The husband never knew such.
The man apparently thought he had a great wife- began to judiciously pumped money into the land and a house 'germinated' outta it. One day, they had a sharp disagreement and she reminded the man that he had no portion in the property. He became angry and left the house. She tried to 'give the olive branch' but he was still stunned. The issue wasn't looking good. She most likely reminded him that he 'squandered' his own share on his 'family' and that caused him to wonder what his wife was driving at.
He annoyingly and foolishly asked for a transfer away. She got wind of it and discovered that that man some of you foolishly called wicked for his 'stupid' request wasn't nearly as bad. He still provides for the family and leaving her in the 'big house' she is claiming is too much for her to bare. A divorce is looming! Worst still, even with the house, she still doesn't have the upper hand. So, she came here, gave her version so that people will queue behind her. And boy, are they?
Woman, let me tell you; you definitely know you betrayed and have wronged that man. He used a part of your deal to take care of his father and felt your agreement meant you loved his father! Your action to make the land in your name and you saw him dancing that he's building a family house not knowing he isn't is a bad choice ma. He himself is a man that needs wisdom.
Kindly go back to your man and ensure you show remorsefulness for betraying him while he takes care of his parents (remember, they're yours too). Don't mind those cheering you on here. Many of them don't understand marriage but takes it for agitation. And if you want to remain married, show genuine repentance and you'll be shocked he won't even ask you to change it to his name again.
God will save your home. God bless you for this. You're the only one on this platform who gave a balanced opinion and read through the story even though some facts were deliberately left out. I fully agree with you. This is full betrayal! 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Pricelessangel0(f): 11:35pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
@Op, Am not married but i will tell you this life story; the woman we stay together in the same flat was once married, what happen was similar to your case, she and her husband contributed money to buy land, which they did when the going was good, the woman was a cement seller/distribuctor, so they dont have to bother about cement when they had an issue, the man threw her out, she went to court to fight, when the documents were presented, she discover it bears only her husband name even the one she specifically gave him money to buy for and the worst case and funniest is the man bears different name from wife{am talking of 20+ marriage}, the name the man presented was different from the wife own and rhyme with the documents, and that was the end of it, as she have to start renting house to live. You want to know the advise given to her; -leave it 4 him, God will judge him. but this has left a huge scar with her and also made her bitter and full of regrets. pls my dear, act wisely shallom 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Anextin(f): 11:36pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
adubiay:
One major problem we have in Africa is that we don't pay attention to details before we start saying rubbish, @op said she bought the LAND with her money in her name, but they BOTH contributed to build the house. I guess the husband never knew the land is in the wife's name when he was pumping his money into the project, that might have formed basis for his anger, though he is over reacting, pls madam don't scatter your marriage based on some advise here from children who are not married, admit you are wrong by putting only your name, and bring your husband back home. You have ego too, so ur caption here that your husband has ego is wrong. Your wife goes out to buy land with her money, please be sincere, do u naturally expect her to use your name on it, especially since it was a shared money BTW you too. I understand they built it together, so the papers should have changed to accommodate the Man's name, But, see how life works, they had issues, tensed disagreement and the man immediately asked her to leave a home they built together. Built together as if he's the sole owner, and this is before he found out its her name on the docs, even forgot that the initial investment was made solely by her. If he hadn't sent her packng before finding out, I can understand his anger, but now ..... 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by yipata: 11:36pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Want peace ke... We don't oh. I'm a man and I'm sure he will do it again. And this time ur out. HRHQueenPhil: wow, dis is serious 1. invite ur pastor or someone he highly respects and a lawyer.
2. kneel down and beg him in their midst and ask d lawyer 2 change it 2 his name.( this is if u want peace}
now, if u are scared he would turn around and throw u out l8a, 1. call a lawyer and file for a divorce 2. sell d house, invest d money and move 2 a smaller house
It is well with u 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by osazsky(m): 11:38pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
babadee1:
Your husband is not a good person. He's extremely selfish and proud. Maybe it's good for both of you to take a break for a while. Let him figure out if what he wants is a house or a family. And you can also take the time to figure out whether this marriage is actually worth it for you. Give it a few weeks you'll be able to think more clearly by then. stop blaming d man o,I have one in-law like this o,she will never say she caused d problem or mis understanding but once our family wants to setlle the matter she starts crying,I thought my bro was wicked until I went to his house to spend 2 days in another state couldn't complete d two days had to pack my few things and run away o,my bro ask me were are u going we are in Dis mess together na im I say bros u they try,now my bro take drugs to sleep, |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Blitz888(m): 11:39pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
HEseesall: I had to open this account for anonymity I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for
Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.
Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),
Don't ever fall for the Mr & Mrs trap... If he divorces you and remarries the new wife assumes the status of the Mrs on that document. Best is to rewrite the documents in this manner. Mr Adam James & Mrs Eve James... That way no one individual has absolute control over the property. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by adubiay: 11:39pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Pataricatering: the property was built with her money - read the article well ! He used his own money for his mother ! If he had built the house he would have put it in his own name so he can send her packing anytime - so why should she put his name on what she used her money to build ? @pataricatering, pls take note of details before offering advise, don't say things base on half information, people asked the op some questions and she agreed that the house was jointly built, but she bought the land alone, and that's why she put her name alone. mind you I guess the husband never knew, that's why he was investing on the land, he might even have the lion share of the money spent to build the house, only for the wife to mock him that the house belongs to her. Read tru the first page, and check each comments from the op 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home by Anextin(f): 11:39pm On Jul 14, 2018 |
Olabestonic001:
Most of you are really easily deceived. Women are good wordsmith and knows how to get the narrative to favor their desired end.
I've a feeling that she's not telling us alot. She said from the proceeds of the business, the man used his 'own part' (I'm damned sure they both agreed) to save the life of her father-in-law. The other was used to purchase a land and she (thinking she's smarter) bought it in her name. The husband never knew such.
The man apparently thought he had a great wife- began to judiciously pumped money into the land and a house 'germinated' outta it. One day, they had a sharp disagreement and she reminded the man that he had no portion in the property. He became angry and left the house. She tried to 'give the olive branch' but he was still stunned. The issue wasn't looking good. She most likely reminded him that he 'squandered' his own share on his 'family' and that caused him to wonder what his wife was driving at.
He annoyingly and foolishly asked for a transfer away. She got wind of it and discovered that that man some of you foolishly called wicked for his 'stupid' request wasn't nearly as bad. He still provides for the family and leaving her in the 'big house' she is claiming is too much for her to bare. A divorce is looming! Worst still, even with the house, she still doesn't have the upper hand. So, she came here, gave her version so that people will queue behind her. And boy, are they?
Woman, let me tell you; you definitely know you betrayed and have wronged that man. He used a part of your deal to take care of his father and felt your agreement meant you loved his father! Your action to make the land in your name and you saw him dancing that he's building a family house not knowing he isn't is a bad choice ma. He himself is a man that needs wisdom.
Kindly go back to your man and ensure you show remorsefulness for betraying him while he takes care of his parents (remember, they're yours too). Don't mind those cheering you on here. Many of them don't understand marriage but takes it for agitation. And if you want to remain married, show genuine repentance and you'll be shocked he won't even ask you to change it to his name again.
God will save your home. You spoke well. Only that she said he sent her packing before learning that the house has her name on it. The key word is sending her out of a home they built together. 1 Like |