candy:

Been there done that bro...As a matter of fact, I teach my children to respect everybody, regardless of sex, class or ideologies. I have a feeling you are a gentleman yourself, even though you may not support the idea of gender equality. You have put your points across without insults and that's quite impressive!
It's all good.

Equality is unnatural even between male and male, female and female. If there were no difference between sexes I.e if we human are homogeneous being things wouldn't still be equal.


Heterosexual marriage should be the simplest way to explain the natural state between male and female. I believe you are married so you should know more about it than I know. Are you and your husband equal in everything?

candy:

There will always be battle of the sexes but a time will come when a girl child can choose not to stay in the kitchen with the mum to learn cooking, and still get married to the man of her dreams and live happily ever after

u are talking about culture under which religion falls which isn't what I asked u. d question I asked u has 2do with nature/biology which u alluded 2 earlier. This is or are d questions again:

If u say equality isn't "possible at least 4 now" based on nature&biology, are u saying it will b possible in future? Are we going 2 tweak with nature 2 attain equality of d sexes?

candy:

True feminism can't thrive in Nigeria, Nigeria is a patriarchal society. I'm a Nigerian, I want gender equality but at best I will call myself a rights activist because I understand the concept of feminism. We are just not ready for it and the male chauvinists are using it to their advantage. I pray we get to the level of Iceland or even Rwanda some day.

what exactly is this "true feminism" which Nigeria isn't ready 4? who are these male chauvinist & how do they use it 2 their advantage? Did u do a study in Rwanda&Iceland regarding this discussion? How do they better than Nigeria in terms of how they treat their women?

amethystnnty1:


You mean what we have right now is unnatural ?

First off, I'm not speaking as a feminist, I'm not one and I don't pretend to be one. But I see this as an academic discourse where I have to theorise my work using the feminist theory. Feminism is not about women 'asking' for favours from men, it's about men realising it is not their rights to have an edge over women in the workplace, politically or academically and all sorts. It's all about equality.

lexy2014:
what exactly is this "true feminism" which Nigeria isn't ready 4? who are these male chauvinist & how do they use it 2 their advantage? Did u do a study in Rwanda&Iceland regarding this discussion? How do they better than Nigeria in terms of how they treat their women?

A study carried out in 2014 showed Iceland is the most female friendly nation, Rwanda at that time had 64% female parliamentarians.

As a matter of fact, I said Nigerians don't understand the concept of feminism because feminism is not about hating men or blaming them(which most feminists in Nigeria are about), it's about having the freedom and fair playing g ground to compete with men if you choose to, having the same opportunity as your male colleagues at the workplace or politically. The guys asking feminists to pay also have a clear misunderstanding of what feminism is because if they do, they will understand that a feminist doesn't even expect any disparity in admission fee on the basis of sex.

Nigerians are very religious and it may be difficult, if not impossible to change our orientations regarding family roles.

NightHound:
Some of these parties where girls get free entry are usually the ones where the ladies are perceived to be the attraction/entertainment/dish on the menu. It's not a favour or preferential treatment, it's simply a tactic to get lots of girls in to make the party more attractive to guys. Because guys aren't likely to patronize pool parties where there are only naked guys; and if it isn't awoof, most girls would stay home. So, the organizers are just being as smart as they know how to be. More money is the bottom line; so if they can get women to pay by playing on their sentiments (while also being the entertainment) why not give it a shot by targeting feminists?

Very much on point

Hosting a party and telling ladies to cone for free is actually insulting because those ladies are entertainment for guys.

Whatever jare.

My Croatia with their cute presido just lost to France.

candy:

There will always be battle of the sexes but a time will come when a girl child can choose not to stay in the kitchen with the mum to learn cooking, and still get married to the man of her dreams and live happily ever after

u are talking about culture under which religion falls which isn't what I asked u. d question I asked u has 2do with nature/biology which u alluded 2 earlier. This is or are d questions again:

If u say equality isn't "possible at least 4 now" based on nature&biology, are u saying it will b possible in future? Are we going 2 tweak with nature 2 attain equality of d sexes?

lexy2014:
u are talking about culture under which religion falls which isn't what I asked u. d question I asked u has 2do with nature/biology which u alluded 2 earlier. This is or are d questions again:

If u say equality isn't "possible at least 4 now" based on nature&biology, are u saying it will b possible in future? Are we going 2 tweak with nature 2 attain equality of d sexes?

Based on nature and biology, a woman will always be a woman. That doesn't mean women can't possibly do what men can do. Most previously male dominated professions are now having females as active forces to reckon with. While the biological features that differentiate the sexes will not change, the circumstances will likely change. There is a difference between sex and gender. The biological aspect is sex while gender is a social construct.

candy:


Feminism is a set of ideologies that seek equality in the opportunities available to both sexes. Feminism is about fighting social structures that restrict and discriminate against women.

Feminism is not saying women should be paid more than men; it is about being judged on the quality of your work and being paid accordingly regardless of sex.
Feminism is not saying men should not head organisations, feminism is saying let him head the organisation because he is the best candidate. Feminism seeks fairness to both sexes, not in anyway anti men, just pro women.

I agree with your entire post and as an ex-feminist (the name has been bastardiased), I fully understand what you wrote. However, modern day "feminists" (misandrists more like) don't preach the bold. They want women to be paid equally as men just because they are women, not because they worked long hours or took less leave or are more qualified.

Modern day feminism is too emotional.

candy:

Based on nature and biology, a woman will always be a woman. That doesn't mean women can't possibly do what men can do. Most previously male dominated professions are now having females as active forces to reckon with. While the biological features that differentiate the sexes will not change, the circumstances will likely change. There is a difference between sex and gender. The biological aspect is sex while gender is a social construct.

are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology? What are those male dominated professions that now have females as active force?

candy:

A study carried out in 2014 showed Iceland is the most female friendly nation, Rwanda at that time had 64% female parliamentarians.

As a matter of fact, I said Nigerians don't understand the concept of feminism because feminism is not about hating men or blaming them(which most feminists in Nigeria are about), it's about having the freedom and fair playing g ground to compete with men if you choose to, having the same opportunity as your male colleagues at the workplace or politically. The guys asking feminists to pay also have a clear misunderstanding of what feminism is because if they do, they will understand that a feminist doesn't even expect any disparity in admission fee on the basis of sex.

Nigerians are very religious and it may be difficult, if not impossible to change our orientations regarding family roles.

u didn't give any example 2 support d study that Iceland is d most women friendly country in d world. 4 Rwanda, d 64 female parliamentarians u mentioned, were they appointed or elected? U also didn't mention anything about d Nigerian male chauvinist & how they use chauvinism to their advantage. If u say Nigerians are religious being d reason y changing orientation might b difficult, who is more religious, Nigerian men or Nigerian women?

lexy2014:
u didn't give any example 2 support d study that Iceland is d most women friendly country in d world. 4 Rwanda, d 64 female parliamentarians u mentioned, were they appointed or elected? U also didn't mention anything about d Nigerian male chauvinist & how they use chauvinism to their advantage. If u say Nigerians are religious being d reason y changing orientation might b difficult, who is more religious, Nigerian men or Nigerian women?

Please read this short write up about Iceland:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theglobepost.com/2018/02/15/iceland-gender-equality/amp/

As a researcher and academic, I am not at liberty to give you answers to the latter part of your post based on assumptions. There is the need to do a thorough review of literature. If I tell you women are more religious, I need data to back it up. Data that I don't have at the moment. I may consider writing a journal article on some of the questions you raised though...they will make good research objectives.

candy:


Feminism is a set of ideologies that seek equality in the opportunities available to both sexes. Feminism is about fighting social structures that restrict and discriminate against women.

Feminism is not saying women should be paid more than men; it is about being judged on the quality of your work and being paid accordingly regardless of sex.
Feminism is not saying men should not head organisations, feminism is saying let him head the organisation because he is the best candidate. Feminism seeks fairness to both sexes, not in anyway anti men, just pro women.

I love this, most especially the part in bold.


I would like to ask though, why aren't you a feminist?

lexy2014:
are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology? What are those male dominated professions that now have females as active force?

I put your first question back to you: are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology or the other way round?
I published an article on women in a certain male dominated profession...would have loved to give you a link but for the love of anonymity. However, look at the history of women in academia for example. Look at where they started from and where they are now. So many studies on this and other professions. Women are getting there slowly but surely.

candy:

I put your first question back to you: are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology or the other way round?
I published an article on women in a certain male dominated profession...would have loved to give you a link but for the love of anonymity. However, look at the history of women in academia for example. Look at where they started from and where they are now. So many studies on this and other professions. Women are getting there slowly but surely.

u don't need 2 put d question back 2 me. Its a straight forward question which should help buttress ur point. I would have really loved 2get ur perspective on that then u will hear from me likewise. As 4 professions, since u wrote an article on females in male dominated professions, it shouldn't b a problem mentioning one or two

candy:

Please read this short write up about Iceland:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theglobepost.com/2018/02/15/iceland-gender-equality/amp/

As a researcher and academic, I am not at liberty to give you answers to the latter part of your post based on assumptions. There is the need to do a thorough review of literature. If I tell you women are more religious, I need data to back it up. Data that I don't have at the moment. I may consider writing a journal article on some of the questions you raised though...they will make good research objectives.

that's great. But u missed d part about d 64 Rwandan female parliamentarians. Were they appointed or elected into Parliament?

With regard 2 which gender is more religious in Nigeria, u will definitely need 2do some research but I don't think u will b surprised by ur findings

amethystnnty1:


Of course as long as;

You Don't give women what they don't earn

You don't expect women to get paid for less work they do compared to men

You don't force company to hire women 50-50
to men just because they are women

You don't expect women tennis players who plays 3 sets and have less than a fifth viewers to men tennis players who plays 5sets to get paid the same

[s]You don't ask for 50-50 CEO of top companies as men and not 50-50 cobblers, road side mechanics, vulcanizers, scavengers, cement unloaders, soak away diggers, drillers, prisoners etc.

You don't ask for 50-50 political post and not 50-50 political assassination victims.

I could go on till rapture.[/s]

Did they force those men to do those jobs? And if there are women doing them and those women apply for the job then yes give them if they are qualified to do same. Plus where have you heard anyone say they should assassinate only men in politics and leave the women alone? Abi dem dey ask for political assassination too in your opinion?

Daeylar:


I love this, most especially the part in bold.


I would like to ask though, why aren't you a feminist?

The way our society is wired, feminism is an ideology that can't work around here sis. I will rather call myself a rights activist.

lexy2014:
that's great. But u missed d part about d 64 Rwandan female parliamentarians. Were they appointed or elected into Parliament?

Read this:
https://www.google.com/amp/www.africanews.com/amp/2017/07/10/rwanda-tops-un-list-of-countries-with-most-women-in-parliament/

However, how they got there is not important. Whether elected or selected, they are there.

lexy2014:
u don't need 2 put d question back 2 me. Its a straight forward question which should help buttress ur point. I would have really loved 2get ur perspective on that then u will hear from me likewise. As 4 professions, since u wrote an article on females in male dominated professions, it shouldn't b a problem mentioning one or two

Academics was a male dominated profession
Engineering was a male dominated profession...now with their fair share of women.
Driving was a male dominated profession...now with it's fair share of women
Military
Police force
Medicine
Construction etc.

Now, the point is not that those professions no longer have more males, but we now have more and more women making headways in the professions.

lexy2014:
u don't need 2 put d question back 2 me. Its a straight forward question which should help buttress ur point. I would have really loved 2get ur perspective on that then u will hear from me likewise.

To you, it's a straightforward question which I can just answer. But in my line of profession, we back up arguments with data. I suggest you look it up and share your answer with us.

For instance, if you ask most people the percentage ratio of male to female population in Nigeria, the answer will be more women than men. However, according to the bureau of statistics, women are about 49% of Nigerian population. You can't judge from what you see in church until you do an actual study over a period of time sir.

candy:

Read this:
https://www.google.com/amp/www.africanews.com/amp/2017/07/10/rwanda-tops-un-list-of-countries-with-most-women-in-parliament/

However, how they got there is not important. Whether elected or selected, they are there.

its very important. I thought u will b eager 2 talk about it so u can use it as a case study but u are running away from it. If u can blame chauvinistic men & our religious orientation 4d lack of opportunities 4 women in Nigeria, then y aren't u curious as 2 how 64 women became parliamentarians at d same time in Rwanda? Or would knowing how they did it puncture ur argument that chauvinistic men&religion are d problem in Nigeria? Even d link u provided is good info. but beyond that, whats d essence of being a gender activist& most importantly a researcher if u aren't ready 2 ask d pertinent question of how these ladies got into parliament?

candy:

Academics was a male dominated profession
Engineering was a male dominated profession...now with their fair share of women.
Driving was a male dominated profession...now with it's fair share of women
Military
Police force
Medicine
Construction etc.

Now, the point is not that those professions no longer have more males, but we now have more and more women making headways in the professions.

uptill now, these professions u mentioned have always had&still have more men than women. D question i will ask u is y are men dominant in these professions u mentioned& women dominant in some other professions? For instance, in academics, its dominated by women from nursery to secondary school but at tertiary level, it is male dominated.

candy:

To you, it's a straightforward question which I can just answer. But in my line of profession, we back up arguments with data. I suggest you look it up and share your answer with us.

For instance, if you ask most people the percentage ratio of male to female population in Nigeria, the answer will be more women than men. However, according to the bureau of statistics, women are about 49% of Nigerian population. You can't judge from what you see in church until you do an actual study over a period of time sir.

this ur response is about d gender that is more dominant in religion and I told u that it will b great if u did a study but that u wouldn't b surprised with ur findings. D question I asked which is of contention is are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology? And I said I would very love 2 get ur perspective on this

HeWrites:


Funny enough all those self acclaimed feminist will turn to 'ladies' that day.

Ah don go...

this is the way I will be sitting viewing all those daughters of chimamanda when they can't afford the 2k

delishpot:


Did they force those men to do those jobs? And if there are women doing them and those women apply for the job then yes give them if they are qualified to do same. Plus where have you heard anyone say they should assassinate only men in politics and leave the women alone? Abi dem dey ask for political assassination too in your opinion?

I believe in equality of opportunity for everyone, I couldn't care less if you're a male or female. I know I would never buy a less quality product from a male just because he is a guy if a woman offer a better product than he does neither would I as an employer hire a guy who is less qualified than a woman applying for the same job.

My problem is with people who look at let's say Nigeria political scene today and say because it is mostly men then it must only be because someone give it to them because they are men and forget about what qualify many of them for the job which is a lot of things e.g their sacrifices, ruthlessness, psycopathy, ability to make and build connections, loyalty, name recognition, Favour exchanges, bribery, deceitfulness and so on and if a woman is a better player then she stands a better chance than most of them.

What men have always done is compete and they would strike down another man without a thought and if women want to join them (as some women do even better) they have to bring their A game.

In 2018 i don't know many laws stopping women from being anything they wanna be in my country

candy:

The way our society is wired, feminism is an ideology that can't work around here sis. I will rather call myself a rights activist.

How do you feel our society is wired that you feel feminism won't work here?

If you call yourself a rights activist, what does it really mean to be one? Is it the same thing a right activist would fight for that a feminist would fight for?


Would like to know

lexy2014:
this ur response is about d gender that is more dominant in religion and I told u that it will b great if u did a study but that u wouldn't b surprised with ur findings. D question I asked which is of contention is are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology? And I said I would very love 2 get ur perspective on this

I have answered this question earlier, but for the purpose of clarity I say again: i cant say yes authoritatively. With science, you can't tell. Some social feminists will like to have their babies in the laboratory without assistance of a man. In the future, science may make it possible through hormonal drug enhancement for men to not only grow boobs, but to breastfeed...science is not static.

Daeylar:


How do you feel our society is wired that you feel feminism won't work here?

If you call yourself a rights activist, what does it really mean to be one? Is it the same thing a right activist would fight for that a feminist would fight for?


Would like to know

Good morning sis. I will respond to this post later today as soon as I'm through with classes by God's grace. it's an interesting one and time won't permit me to respond well now. Do have a blessed day.

candy:

Good morning sis. I will respond to this post later today as soon as I'm through with classes by God's grace. it's an interesting one and time won't permit me to respond well now. Do have a blessed day.

Good morning dear,
All right, respond at your convenience, will be expecting your reply.
Have a blessed day also.

candy:

I have answered this question earlier, but for the purpose of clarity I say again: i cant say yes authoritatively. With science, you can't tell. Some social feminists will like to have their babies in the laboratory without assistance of a man. In the future, science may make it possible through hormonal drug enhancement for men to not only grow boobs, but to breastfeed...science is not static.

yes u can use science 2 tweak nature as seen in cloning, transgender and plastic surgery. But I don't no how a woman will have a baby without a man. D sperm 2 fertilize her egg, where will it come from?

But u have still avoided d question I asked about nature which is "are there things women can do that men can't do based on nature/biology?"

DoTheNeedful:
I love this

The best students in my undergrad and grad classes were female. In the places I have worked both men and women were employed. I have had female bosses who I respected so much. Every top university anywhere in the world today admits women. Organizations like Chevron, Google and the likes employ both men and women.

Sometimes, I wonder what these ultra-feminists want. It will make sense to me if they are more bothered about the very vulnerable in the society like making sure every girl have access to quality education and that widows are protected. However, many of them overlook some of these issues. They just appear to be men hater. They don't seem to be concerned about getting the best for women but how to attack men.

Feminists will scream and attack what they describe as "gender roles". They believe such should never exist. However, the mother nature shaped our reproductive organs differently based on the roles they are expected to perform.

If a 45 year-old woman is in the same room with a 19 year-old boy and a big lizard or snake runs in, the woman will seek cover behind the 19 year-old boy. Whether we like it or not, there are gender roles.

Men and women are designed to complement each other in every way. This is the very fact the philosophy of feminism is against. A friend of mine did something to his woman; she hugged him with teary eyes and told him he made her feel like a woman. To me that statement is both real and powerful. A normal man want to feel like a man and a normal woman want to feel like a woman.

I am a very good cook but when a woman serves me food I feel special. In turn many ladies, no matter how rich, will feel loved when their men buy them things, take them out and treat them like queens. There should not be competition among sexes; they should complement themselves.

I wish i can like this post a thousand times. The whole idea of what they call feminism make zero sense to me. A woman is a woman ,same with man God made it so. The day feminists will start fighting for the girl child being maltreated by Madam, raped by Oga,i will started taking them serious.