EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Pity the unborn baby. Your reactiveness might cause you more harm than good.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

the thing is when reality set in love would fade away... settle for someone that will give you rest of mind/better assurance...

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

Just let it go. A clear indication that he is not probably destined for you.

EmpresFIDEL:
thank you very much

I hope you are not planning to take that fellow's advice?

That's the worst advice ever a human being can give to another person.

It's better you don't marry him than this

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

You don't consider brake up, OK you will accept sickles cell children when they come.

Pls.get separated and start life afresh, it's not going to be easy but you guy's have to try hard to avoid future regrets

delishpot:
Ok na. Just strong your mind to bear whatever consequence especially if you decide to have kuds in future. You must prepare that you are knowingly bringing a child into the world to surffer pains and near death experiences. Those wjo gave birth to sick kids due to no fault of theirs are wishing they could carry the pain for their sick children howmuch more when you have it at the back of your mind that you brought this child into this world out of your own selfishness. That would be bad.
If you two choose the abortion route then I have nothing to encourage you on that. If you decide not to have biological kids then that is fair. Hopefuly there would be hope and solution for handling such cases ie sellecting sperm and eggs to weed out the high riskones then doing IVF to place them in your oven. Its well. Pkele, ask around and decide on what option is best for you two. Pkease if his family say NO do not force it o. Tomorrow if you have SS and you start running up and down he will get tired and blame you for the whole problem your sturboness brought to him. It is financially, mentaly and physically exhausting. Please ask anyone who has had a sick child. Esp one who falls sick frequently even small cough and carthar that lasts for two weeks sends parents into worry frenzy talkless of SS. Think am well abeg.

Prevention they say is better than cure... Even scientists might not grant you 100% success of these procedures you are talking about. The best is just to avoid it.

Look for another partner

abdullahi45:


Prevention they say is better than cure... Even scientists might not grant you 100% success of these procedures you are talking about. The best is just to avoid it.

GBAM!!!!

It's your luck! DM me for a free medical advice on your options.

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

I agree that it's painful, but let me ask you a question,
was he the one that dis Virgin you, if no then bear the loose of him in this relationship than to be the loose of the children that you will subject to turture, at the end he will still brake your heart and marry someone else.

So tell me which is more hurtful emotionally
Loosing him due to ss,
or loosing your child due to ss

Until u ve a child dat is ss . dats wen dat love dat tastes sooo sweet will turn to sand Nd gravel.
If only u ve seen an ss child groaning wit pain Nd discomfort? I literally shouted at d parents of the one I saw one day Nd dey said d lab they used deceived dem. Don't be selfish, consider d child too

mabelly:


Yes they are suffering it because they didn't follow this theory.

Tell me the theory they are supposed to follow!

Your theory says each birth has a 25% chance of being SS? So what you don't know is you can have 5 children and ALL will be SS! Each incident is independent. It means what happened in each birth do not accept what happens in future birth

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

listen, i don't know how strong you both love is but let me give you my advice. Don't just break up like that be patient. i believe you're a believer.
The best thing is to ask God for his will concerning you both. If he agrees with you, then you are safe.
Seek God first. He has the final say

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

So all those years u don't knw he's AS?
I think it will be wise if things like genotype are included in introduction.
Eg, Am Ekene from Anambra AS.
It will help to knw d limit frm d start

I will advise u let him go, I was there about this time last year, letting go was very difficult cos we dated for 6years. But I am fine now, dating a wonderful guy, Its now I realize wat I av bin missing all dis wyl

attend winners church. there they turn AS to AA

My sister and her husband are AS/AS and they have two kids now boy and girl and the kids are AS. They didn't know they were both AS before they married but they found out during her last pregnancy doctor told them they were lucky to have two kids AS.

Please don't marry him except u are ready to face anything that comes out of it.

i am not a doctor but i work in d hospital....if u try it my sister,...my sister i say again, if u try it, as in if you try it ehn,....i rest my case

you will quote God. tell me if they v not been having sex

Twagrill:

listen, i don't know how strong you both love is but let me give you my advice. Don't just break up like that be patient. i believe you're a believer.
The best thing is to ask God for his will concerning you both. If he agrees with you, then you are safe.
Seek God first. He has the final say

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Initially i didnt open this thread,buh on a second thought i cme bak to open it nd prolly educate u on something. By Gods grace, i work in the health sector nd have come across these issues times without number. Its nt as easy decision to take, buh pls u jst have to take it for ur unborn children o. With that Genotype u have a 25% chancof giving birth to AA, 25% of giving birth to SS,and 50% chance of giving birth to AS. wot if u gi birth to AS, and AA. Ur gon be a lucky chap. Buh if u giv birth to SS, (i knw a couple of people will say “its not my portion”, buh ask urself smetn...those goving birth to SS, dnt u tink they prayed this prayer too?). My dear it wont be fun if u giv birth to SS trust me. I advice u dnt jst go ahead with it. If not, u go catch winch later. I had a teacher who had a sickler as a son(they prolly prayed nd said it wasnt their portion, buh it happend). With all the monies he had, he still lost the child when he was abt 19 or 20yrs. Pathetic!!!

SS is a preventable disease. Pls dnt suffer ur unborn child, cos he/she is the one that will go thru hell, nd eventually die, not u!

the love will clear from his eyes when he sees his children in crisis or watch them lose their lives and he can do nothing to stop it.
for those saying you can check the genotype of a foetus before its born and then abort if it's SS. do u know how much that procedure costs? how common and accessible is it?
how many babies will you abort before you finally get one that's not a sickler ?
can you handle the psychological and emotional trauma?
it hurts but you have to let him go because at the end You the mother will bear the brunt of trauma.
I have seen a couple who were so in love that the guy had to forge their genotype results so the church could wed them. few months into the marriage he went somewhere I saw a sickle cell child and all the trouble the parents were going through,came back home and started acting funny. after a while, he moved out of the house leaving the lady alone after waiting a while and trying to reach out to him without any success. she had to file for divorce.
please save yourself the stress, let him go. it will hurt no doubt but in the end, you will be just fine. Hugs hun

charliboy654:

Have heard of checking the genotype of a fetus before its born, if it's ss, you about it, otherwise u leave the baby, cost between 350 to 400k, and this procedure could be done more than once b4 getting the desired genotype.

So far this is the best advice you have got. Love must find a way especially if it is pure and destined from God.

na wen u born SS full house nah wen that thing wey dey do you wey u call love go fall off your eyes

I have also heard something along these lines. Although I don't know if it's done in Nigeria.

Unfortunately OP is not satisfied with this option as she is still asking for more advice.

Women rarely take the best advice anyway, so nothing new there.

charliboy654:

Have heard of checking the genotype of a fetus before its born, if it's ss, you about it, otherwise u leave the baby, cost between 350 to 400k, and this procedure could be done more than once b4 getting the desired genotype.

charliboy654:
If u have the money go ahead. There are solution to these problems but requires alot of cash.

Very selfish and wicked advise. Afterall, it is an innocent kid that will suffer for the rest of his/her life if it comes out an SS

mfm04622:


Tell me the theory they are supposed to follow!

Your theory says each birth has a 25% chance of being SS? So what you don't know is you can have 5 children and ALL will be SS! Each incident is independent. It means what happened in each birth do not accept what happens in future birth

Theory states that you check the genotype of every pregnancy with 10 to 12 weeks of conception, and of it comes out SS, the you terminate the fetus because the fetus is unhealthy.

I am not against abortion.

And for those that will say i am killing a child, i am sure you know the sperm you waste every now an then carries a living organism same as the egg waiting to be hatched. So fetus is not far from these.

Again only he who wears the shoe knows where it itches.

Please don't try it.....I have seen several cases like this. In one of the case the husband kept on borrowing to take care of his sick children till he got into trouble in his office (Bank). He lost that job and was back to square one.....one of the children even died. Abeg....no try Am, you will surely get a better man.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Pls Madam, as someone who has an SS in the family, let me tell you one thing. A time will come when your kid will blame you for his/her predicament. I Really don't think you have ever witnessed an SS in crises before, otherwise, you would never ever be contemplating this at all.

My sista, a word they say is enuf for the wise, I am glad most people here advice breakup. Love is sweet when you dont have the pressure of a child almost dying every 6, 6 months, when ur finance is not under pressure and ur hubby has not started wishing he never married u. PLEASE LET HIM GO, LOVE ALONE IS NEVER ENUF REASON FOR MARRIAGE.

romenna:
quite painful.
Have had to let go two beautiful Angels cos of this same issue.

Eyha!!..sorry to hear that..I have been very fortunate myself i must say.

I understand your plight. I am AS and was in a relationship for the same number of years as you Stated. However, God was with me all the way. You won't believe that it was while we were already preparing for my wedding that i asked my then fiancee now wife to go and check her genotype because, she was oblivious of it. You needed to see my state while i waited for the result. It was worse than waiting to know ones HIV status after living a very promiscuous life. I prayed like never before while waiting for the result and as God would have it, it turned out that she was/is AA. I jumped for joy like I just won a billion dollar contract. My advice to you is to have absolute faith in God. See a true man of God if you are convinced that you are meant for each other. God is not the author of confusion and would not sanction what he knows would end badly. I have witnessed Gods miracle here in Benin ( Believers Ministries) first hand where God changed the story of one of the couple that intended to get married from AS to AA. Miracles are real but you also need to have an unwavering faith. Conclusively, don't proceed any further if God doesn't do it. Stay blessed

mabelly:


Theory states that you check the genotype of every pregnancy with 10 to 12 weeks of conception, and of it comes out SS, the you terminate the fetus because the fetus is unhealthy.

I am not against abortion.

And for those that will say i am killing a child, i am sure you know the sperm you waste every now an then carries a living organism same as the egg waiting to be hatched. So fetus is not far from these.

Again only he who wears the shoe knows where it itches.

How many people have the money for the test?
So there are no risk for abortion? Even delivery have risk talk-less of abortion
Prevention is always better than cure