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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When She Hits First (8199 Views)
Husband Hits Wife's Head With A Pestle In Asaba (Disturbing Photos) / Shortage Of Men Hits The World / Wife Beats, Hits Her Husband But The Husband Refuses To Fight Back (2) (3) (4)
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Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 2:15pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55: And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here? 4 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 2:16pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:Thank you Sir. Respect55:You just told a story of what your brother did to his sister in law, if your wife do something like that all hell will break loose. Haha. Atmosphere ko...na only woman dey create atmosphere. FYI. A happy wife can do anything for her inlaws. Marry first and watch your wife get insulted for telling your sister to boil yam. 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by JoannaSedley(f): 2:18pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:Oh sure he will!!! Screaming to the heavens how women are the scum of the earth 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by Daisy17: 3:46pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem: I just quoted you Eketem to say that I agree 100% with everything you have posted. If more Nigerians reasoned like you the country will definitely be a better place. Heck I will extend that to the whole of Africa. There is a reason why there is a justice system in every country. Counter-aggression is not the solution to resolving conflicts. Also there needs to be more communication between couples regarding in-laws, because most times it is the woman who bears the burden of catering to the demands of family members who visit the couple. 3 Likes |
Re: When She Hits First by pocohantas(f): 3:58pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Wifey beat MIL for messing up the house. Isn't that how some men beat up their wives for allegedly running their mouths? Is it because their sons, who also double as your sons, are not old enough to fight for their mothers? Una done see as e dey pain. Very good. You all should learn anger management. They can settle the issue in their village meeting. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 4:44pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
JoannaSedley:My brother hasn't and can't do that. He understands they both own a home. So if we even want to visit, the wise will be aware. Moreover, I'm not a proponent of all those undue visits. Sometimes, they start asking if I'm running away from them. |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 4:48pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:If I'm passing by and decide to say hi, it's a different issue. But for one to pack her belongings and try to sneak in without the husband's knowledge is a no no for me. I don't understand what u mean by 'opening another winning post here'. Let's try to analyse what we have at hand. No direct attack on persons pls. |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 4:49pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:And Less is demanded from men? |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 4:52pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
JoannaSedley:Speak for yourself young lady and don't speak negatively about another. You don't know my story ok. I dnt speak ill of ideal women |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 4:55pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
pocohantas:I wonder who u feel is at the receiving end of the legal battles |
Re: When She Hits First by pocohantas(f): 4:56pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55: I don't care, anyone who is so barbaric to beat up another should be at the receiving end. 1 Share
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Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 5:01pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
pocohantas:Great post |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 5:38pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55: What exactly is demanded from men during in laws visits? A woman is expected to cook and clean after them. She is expected to smile always even when she is having a bad day She is expected to tolerate all sorts. It's too much work. I cannot imagine having a new baby and putting up with all that I am happy women are now realising the stupidity in any sort of pretence. Most of these things are caused by poverty sha. If you have a chef, a professional nanny and and we'll to do family members nobody will be discussing these things. This is why I advise women to work hard have their own money and marry well. I am tired just discussing these silly issues, I cannot imagine how women who put with this " My brothers house crap" or men who need to have in laws drop in unannounced with long list of needs 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 5:40pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:Are u married? |
Re: When She Hits First by Eketem: 5:41pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55: With kids your age 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by jaksmillioniar: 5:50pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
is abomination in my place d day a woman do DAT to me shes dead cos I will beat sence into her I will beat her DAT she think is better to go to hell or I beat her more. in rooms I just see all this useless small girls DAT manage to got married early talk rubbish d fact u love ur woman dont mean u can dicipline her wen she do wrong. I date a girl d more I beat her she love me and I enjoy her cos she know she do bad and I wont beat her for nothing 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 6:03pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Eketem:Lol. And u think I'm still a teenager? |
Re: When She Hits First by Timbuktuo: 6:33pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
JoannaSedley: Both cases can be in motion concurrently. If the MIL sues her for assault then there will be a case in which she is the defendant. It's called a countersuit, I believe. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Timbuktuo: 6:43pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Respect55: It could very well be that the MIL is the troublesome party and it could also be that the wife is the belligerent one. We cannot tell. We only have this story to go on. We should endeavour to be as dispassionate as possible in discussing such matters, despite our biases or what we think the trends are. All mothers are not the same, some are angelic, some are psychotic. Some pick unnecessary fights with their DILs, some do not. Also, possession of presence of mind is a crucial asset. If this man is found guilty, he has a criminal record. Period. A criminal record is a major stain on any individual who wants to achieve anything of note in life. It doesn't show much wisdom if you allow someone else's actions ruin your name. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 7:06pm On Jul 19, 2018 |
Timbuktuo:There can't just be any justification for a DIL to lay her hands on her MIL. She should have waited to report to the husband after work hour. A woman that does it isn't supposed to be under any man's roof. If the man is convicted, she too will. |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 8:25pm On Jul 20, 2018 |
The family of the woman was here earlier today. From the call the man made when they left, they came to tell him to forget about further legal actions that they have spoken to their daughter who have agreed that the case be settled out of court. But from the way he was sounding, he hasn't wholly accepted that. But it all depends on his people as well who he was calling. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Nobody: 9:10pm On Jul 21, 2018 |
Respect55: His action isn't justifiable. You shouldn't hit anybody whether man or woman unless you were hit first. The woman didn't hit him she hit his mom. The best he could've done is to sue her directly not reporting to Nigerian police. Yes, reporting such matters to Nigerian police will never yield good results rather they'll mock him. When I was in Nigeria I've seen a man who was battered by his wife get mocked by the police. Despite all the evidence, the police were calling him weak man and whatever. Even when you sue, the Nigerian judiciary is very slow in term of delivering judgements. If a woman or a man hit you first and you hit back, it is justifiable but if you weren't hit first 'you're on your own'. Cc timbuktuo eketem joannasedley 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:24pm On Jul 21, 2018 |
Elder001:I will forgive you for hitting me but not my mother |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 11:28pm On Jul 21, 2018 |
The man's family members arrives this evening. From the look of things, they will be hosting the woman's family tomorrow. I dnt know what they want to talk about but will after the meeting. But all doesn't spell well for the woman and this reconcilliatory meeting or so come tomorrow based on how angry the man's kinsmen are. It seems they just want a divorce. I wish they won't althesame. Tomorrow will tell |
Re: When She Hits First by Timbuktuo: 11:34pm On Jul 22, 2018 |
Respect55: A divorce seems the only logical step from my point of view. For me, there would be no coming back from such an event. |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 10:23pm On Jul 23, 2018 |
It is just unfortunate that both families failed to reach a consensus towards amending was was wrongly done. As such, the marriage is headed for a divorce. The man's family are the real proponents of this as they held their ground and posited that a woman who beat up 'their mother' doesn't have a place in their family. One Friday, they will be heading to the court for peaceful divorce on the ground of irredeemable mistake so they said. It breaks my heart anyway because the woman's family pleaded all to no avail. The woman didn't come because the man said she shouldn't enter his house. So so unfortunate. |
Re: When She Hits First by Ganjafama(m): 10:40pm On Jul 23, 2018 |
Respect55:That woman will find it difficult getting another husband. Of course she will always have a man to screw her, but live with her under the same roof is a no no. The major mistake she made was suing her husband. If she had started pleading immediately after the man beat her, that would have made her appear remorseful. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by Respect55(m): 10:57pm On Jul 23, 2018 |
Ganjafama:It breaks my heart althesame. They have been living peacefully before now. People here are of the opinion that the devil actually gave them upper cut. Her family have withdrawn the suit against the man and he said he isn't going to sue her again too. But then, dey said that divorce is the best option because seeing her will always remind dem of the past. The poor woman is still in the hospital. |
Re: When She Hits First by Ganjafama(m): 2:50am On Jul 24, 2018 |
Respect55:But to me, the man should not rush to divorce her. They should separate for some time to enable emotions heal. |
Re: When She Hits First by eyinjuege: 6:10am On Jul 24, 2018 |
sisisioge: You need to always sieve out fantasies from realities. Some people have an overactive imagination. I don't know the story you mentioned, but don't be surprised the guy is lying through his teeth, and just saying out his wild fantasies. For all you know, he might just have recently finished his waec and waiting for admission into university. |
Re: When She Hits First by eyinjuege: 6:49am On Jul 24, 2018 |
Respect55: Why are you so surprised that she can move on and get married again? People have married worse. She's obviously still relatively young, and you say its just a year's marriage? I'm not supporting her actions btw, but don't be surprised she will move on in totality and remarry. One man's meat is another man's poison, and you also rightly said she has been a peaceful person till the MIL incident. 1 Like |
Re: When She Hits First by eyinjuege: 7:12am On Jul 24, 2018 |
Respect55: Nobody feels the woman is innocent, as she did wrong by assaulting an elderly person regardless of what she might have done ( in this case, messing up the house. That's a stupid reason to beat anyone, and definitely not a case of self defence) People are just giving you a different perspective to the matter, and perhaps how things could be handled better. Like I said earlier, I'm not sorry for the woman but her husband should have reported to the police the assault on his mother. You know this is a public forum, and you really shouldn't expect everyone to sleep on the same bed and lie same side. Anger has never helped anyone, and it's better to always be calm, and apply logic to issues. You 'fight' better that way. With the way the states are rising up against domestic violence, if that man is found guilty he could lose a lot of things, his job inclusive. His mother would have wished he never laid his hands on the wife. He wasn't there when the assault on his mother happened, and it is all heresay to him. It's a different thing if he was there and was trying to prevent assault on his mother, but he wasn't. 2 Likes 1 Share |
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