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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" (57585 Views)
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Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by helpee(m): 5:09am On Aug 06, 2018 |
InvertedHammer:since it is that simple, you will do better as a divorce lawyer rather than claiming to be methuselah on nairaland. Women get custody in most cases not because of your simple analogy but because most men don't contest it anyway. They feel na wahala self to take care of the child so they automatically don't contest it. Most men with means and especially wives at home almost always win custody fights unless the child is under 3. Methuselah 3 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by yinnyme(m): 5:10am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE: You are a good man, few persons will seldom married a woman like that, she is good as well because she didn't change her behaviour after the wedding, life is tricky and funny, your wife needs the child more than ever right now to help with chores and don't be surprised she probably made the move and it could be the best moves ever made. Take the child as your daughter because she's your wife's daughter and by extension yours. I always say treat people like you knew they will make it the next day. She could be your golden goose as someone earlier said. 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by danjalingo: 5:10am On Aug 06, 2018 |
She's your children's sister and a lovely innocent child. Please, help her like your own, even if it's the last thing you do. Don't behave like the father's wife. 2 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by InvertedHammer: 5:14am On Aug 06, 2018 |
helpee:/ Nobody wins custody battle. The court goes for equal parenting and will allocate support based on time spent with the kid(s), income and other factors. I mentioned ground for loss of custody by either parent. Keep deluding yourself. / 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Amumaigwe: 5:15am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE: Tell them that she is now 'AFTER FOUR'; remember she has 3 more kids for you. Ask them if they can also determine the COUNTS of other ladies (including those married to your critical siblings) that chose to abort theirs perhaps in several occasions to look guiltless. Considering the attitude of your wife's family, I am persuaded to conclude that she must have undergone severe persecution during the incident of that unwanted pregnancy. Your wife's choice to keep the baby, despite all, says a lot about her character and personality. 5 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by LaudableXX: 5:16am On Aug 06, 2018 |
helpee:Do you remember that I had said earlier: ".....in cases where the father fights the mother for custody, because he is richer and has more clout. He would however have to prove that the woman is an unfit mother, or she lacks the means to adequately take care of the kids." ![]() You corroborated my statement, when you said your friend got custody of his 6-year old kid, "because the other woman is not yet remarried so the husband claimed he has a more balanced home to care of her and provided proofs he had been paying school fees." By showing the other woman had not remarried, and he was paying school fees, he had proved she lacked the means to adequately take care of the child. ![]() Now, how many divorce proceedings in court, have you witnessed? ![]() And the reason why most men do not get custody, isn't because they are not married. ![]() ![]() In the case of the OP, the child's father does not even want the child anymore, while the mother wants the child, badly. ![]() ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by helpee(m): 5:18am On Aug 06, 2018 |
InvertedHammer:my lawyer sir!!!! Yes you can win full custody. Court can grant full custody to one parent, shared custody to both, 3rd party custody, temporary custody. Etc. So you see, you don't have to be so old to research 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by eyinjuege: 5:23am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE: The child has been with the father for the past 6 years or longer. She is equally your wife's responsibility, and unfortunately she failed her daughter. I'm surprised your wife didn't let you meet her daughter before getting married to you. Shame many Nigerian parents are selfish, and only think about their own needs. Your family don't like her because she's after1 but she has also given birth to 3 children bearing your name. Has the child's father said he won't be responsible for the needs of his daughter? Let the man contribute to her school fees, and don't forget the girl in question is also your wife's responsibility. All that talk about changing the girl's surname to yours is balderdash. She has her own father, who has been responsible for her since birth and I wouldn't say he abandoned her. It may be safer for her to be with her mother than with a wicked stepmother. Unfortunately, she seems to be saddled with a stepfather that her very existence irritates him. From frying pan to fire. Your wife has to do right by her child, and I hope she gets her priorities straight. 6 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by helpee(m): 5:24am On Aug 06, 2018 |
[quote author=LaudableXX post=70021801][/quote] you like stories. Who told you that once the husband claims he is paying school fees it means the wife cant take care of the child? Even if custody is granted to the wife, who told you the husband will stop paying school fees? Read about child custody first then you can make a more informed discussion |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by agarawu23(m): 5:28am On Aug 06, 2018 |
From the op comments, I see an immature cry baby who isn't ripe for marriage yet |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by LaudableXX: 5:30am On Aug 06, 2018 |
helpee:Once a man goes to court, to prove he is paying school fees including other bills for taking care of the daughter, when he is fighting for custody, he is trying to show the court, that the woman lacks the means or ability to take care of the child. ![]() If custody is granted to the wife, nobody says the man will stop paying school fees. In fact the court will compel him to pay alimony, which includes school fees and cost of upkeep, for the child. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Nobody: 5:33am On Aug 06, 2018 |
happy wife = happy home |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by linearity: 5:34am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE: Dude, stop the childishness already! I doubt if you love your wife as you profess. Remember that she is human and also have 50% stack to the house, if you guys are married statutorily. This is her daughter and your step daughter for goodness sake. The dad even tried to have cared for the little girl up until now. Kids are suppose to be taken cared of, by their parents; the father have tried, it is now your wife’s turn; assist her in doing that. When you married her, you know she have a package, agreed the little girl was not staying with her then, but the truth is; there is no way you will marry a lady who already have other kid(s) and think you can forever put a distance between them. More so, this girl is your child’s big sister; you child shares DNA and blood with her; unite them and let them grow in harmony and together under the same roof. Don’t mind people telling you to adopt the kid, he already have a father; she just want to live with her mom. Step in your wife’s shoes for a second and see if you will prefer she stays with other relatives when you are available. 4 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Lambarry1: 5:35am On Aug 06, 2018 |
Op you are very senseless am not concerned weather you take in the girl or not. But you are so stupid as a single man to frolic with a single mother. That is the repercussion of what you are facing. It's your headache so deal with it. this woman you have spoken so good about is obviously not as foolish as you, more reality of the rubbish you gotten yourself into will accost you as time goes on. Women are so devious and pretentious not to talk of single mothers....thats why they advise young men to stay away from them, this woman obviously trapped you cos she knows it's only a fool like you that will accept the rubbish. Single mothers are very experienced you are stupid enough not to know. Oh you think she is your wife , open your eyes and stay composed you will soon see there is more to what the ordinary eyes can see. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by eyinjuege: 5:37am On Aug 06, 2018 |
jookco: That is the difference between Nigerians and the western culture. We are a very wicked people, and only after what we will gain. If we feel there is no personal gain for us in a situation, we jump and pass. Infact, many homes abroad have step father/ step mother thing, and the way they treat themselves is not an issue at all. 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by davidonwuka21: 5:40am On Aug 06, 2018 |
Guy, take the girl into your family, nobody knows tomorrow, and make sure u treat her like your daughter too... if the father later come back in the future, the girl will still respect you as her father, she will bless you, and will treat u more than her biological father.. BE WISE!!!! 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Nobody: 5:40am On Aug 06, 2018 |
Also the girl is a real blood sister to his children. yinnyme: |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by galadima77(m): 5:42am On Aug 06, 2018 |
SUPERPACK: may God bless you for this thought |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by 1stNumeroUno: 5:43am On Aug 06, 2018 |
reyscrub: Oga, I hope you've legalised/formalised the adoption. Someone's elses child bearing your name can get complicated o. |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by etimocity(m): 5:43am On Aug 06, 2018 |
yes sir take the baby to your house and take care of her just as you to your children |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by helpee(m): 5:44am On Aug 06, 2018 |
LaudableXX:What is the one saying ?/Hope I am arguing with somebody I think because the moment I suspect otherwise I will run. So once somebody is paying school fees, the other person must not be capable. Are you for real? Showing you pay school fees only proves you are capable it doesn't mean the other person is not capable. So if the husband pays school fees it means the wife must tell the school that they should reject the school fees to prove she is capable or what. In Africa, who pays school fees even if the wife is okay. Please don't let me assume I am arguing with somebody that I am now assuming 2 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Chidonc(m): 5:48am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE:sir blame the father of that child all you want but it still does not change the good man you are, accept the child and move on. today am a product of grass to grace and the same people who threw me out wants to associate. 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Nobody: 5:48am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE: Are your family married to your wife or you? How many times have they come to your rescue when you need help? All they do is talk and talk. Bro go ahead and make your family happy |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by lagosrd: 5:50am On Aug 06, 2018 |
The only situation possible here is to appeal to you bro. Take the girl and make her one of yours. That is destiny for you. Your happiness in marriage is far more important than the presence of that innocent girl. However be grateful that she is still mouldable and she knows what is going on. Try your best as a responsible step father to train her to the highest academic level you want for your own children and never maltreat her so that she won't become a nuisance and bad influence on your own children. May God help you and give you the strength and capacity to do all this. |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by kowopealajo: 5:51am On Aug 06, 2018 |
There is nothing wrong In you allowing the little girl to stay with you. Let brotherly love continue Hebrew 13:1 |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by LaudableXX: 5:52am On Aug 06, 2018 |
helpee:Guy, try and read my posts with understanding, before you hit your keyboard. ![]() But by bringing up issue of paying school fees, and other bills associated with the child's upbringing, he is trying to show that the woman lacks the means (whether financial or material means) to take care of the child, which is why he is fighting for custody. ![]() If the woman can also show proof that she has picked up other bills pertaining to the child, and she has a good well-paid job or regular income, as well as a comfortable home and supportive caregivers to assist her, she would win the custody case, even if the man fights her for the child. ![]() |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Donjazzy12(m): 5:52am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NairalandFAYOSE:My brother don't mind the hypocrites wey full Nairaland! They are great at giving advice's which they themselves cannot keep. The innocent girl is supposed to be with her father not your wife. Children does not belong to only one person. The girl knows her real father. The hypocrites here are attacking you for standing by your own family first. The hypocrites will not contribute money for food, education and medication of the child but will be here blaming. Don't mind the hypocrites! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Lozano: 5:53am On Aug 06, 2018 |
Allow the child to come and stay with you and her mum |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by linearity: 5:54am On Aug 06, 2018 |
helpee: No one is blackmailing him to accept the child against his will....more so he was the one that asked for opinions, my guess is; if this is a foregone conclusion, he will not be here asking for opinion. As for the grandmother, it is not her responsibility to take care of the child. The parents of a child owns that responsibility and obligation. In a normal separated couples, the little girl will be shared between the mother and the father in turns...no one knows how far, she has been staying with the Dad, but it is now the mother’s turn to do the needful. If this guy love his wife as he professes, he will accommodate his own step-daughter, who shares the same dna with his kid under his roof. 3 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by LaudableXX: 5:55am On Aug 06, 2018 |
Donjazzy12: "The child is supposed to be with the father?" ![]() 1 Like |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by Awoo88: 5:55am On Aug 06, 2018 |
reyscrub:No body mistakenly got pregnant. But the father of the girl is an idiot. A child you've living with for some years is what you're dropping because of another woman. Your own daughter oooo. May herdsmen locate that idiotic man 5 Likes |
Re: "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" by hpymoment(f): 5:55am On Aug 06, 2018 |
NCANTaskForce: You nailed it ![]() I think this is exactly what the op is afraid of cos the child in question is a GIRL. |
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