Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,640 members, 7,979,176 topics. Date: Friday, 18 October 2024 at 10:19 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish (11975 Views)
Will I Regret Not Having Children / My Wife Has Turned My Children Against Me / Wife Ties Up Her Husband In Calabar, Attempts To Suffocate Him On Women’s Day (2) (3) (4)
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by dadde(m): 9:03am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Well, my humble submission, The very time we agree to marry someone, there is no more "i" anymore. The issue of child bearing are things we should have fully discussed before tieing the knot. I am quite aware that things dont always go as planned, but any changes must be agreed by both parties. The very reason why most marriages crashes this days is because somepeople want to be married and still act as singles. This dont always go together. Both husbands and wives must understand that in marriage , we dont have to think alike but have to think together. God bless our homes. 5 Likes |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Blonchilli(m): 9:07am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44:How many families can afford surrogacy bro? Is it selfish? Yes. Is it wrong? Yes. Marriage is a partnership and both partners should be able to communicate. I'm not yet married but what I've observed is the cause for most divorce is communication. Yes it's her body but if we're using that as an excuse then it's the man's body too if he decides to go bang every girl he meets and litter the streets with his babies. As a couple when it's wise to stop having children is if my wife has a near death experience. I'll prefer to have her than a kid, how are you going to raise a baby? If that happens then you guys can seek other options like adoption or surrogacy if you have the funds 1 Like |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Nobody: 9:10am On Aug 10, 2018 |
both should decide. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Reference(m): 9:14am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: Another example of the misunderstanding about the institution of marriage. God is the author of marraige. He created woman to aid in the fulfillment of the purpose of man. Every other reason why people get married is based on a faulty premise and is bound to have in built damaging stresses. Call it love. Call it procreation, call it business. These are not the primary reasons for marraige. A woman in a man's house is there for only one reason, to partner him to fulfill the mission God has given him. When this principle is in place then love can develop necessary to handle the pressures of the mission God has given, then children can come to guarantee the sustenance and fulfilment of the mission God has given where this mission exceeds the lifespan of the man and on and on. The fact is when both partners see the existential reasons for the institution in the first place both will be on board to their optimum abilities. Selfishness, the bane of most marriages exists in unprincipled and non functional relationships. 4 Likes |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by oyetpel(m): 9:19am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: You didn't get what the poster meant, she actually made sense. She talked about the women knowing it's her body, and she can stop child bearing at will after one child. But also talked about a husband who witness his wife went through labour to give birth to his child and decided that the one child is okay, because he doesn't want his wife to pass through such ordeal again, but they already agreed to have four children, and the wife insists the husband impregnate her again. So her argument is, won't people tag such man patriarchal because only him made the decision for his wife to stop child bearing, but if it's a ladies choice to stop child bearing, it's her body. Though your own solution is surrogacy which is yet to be wildly accepted in Nigeria, and even do you consider some women will never agree to another woman giving birth to her child in Nigeria. So she concluded that putting a stop to child bearing for the safe health of a wife should be discussed by both husband and wife and reach a compromise. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by bettercreature(m): 9:28am On Aug 10, 2018 |
There is nothing special about childbirth.You shouldnt support selfish women of this Century Mynd44: |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Nobody: 9:31am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: I believe you are still a young man and unmarried. In marriage, nothing like "your body, my body", " your money, my money". Although, wisdom is profitable to direct us to make sound decision. The couple can talk about it and come to an agreement. 2 Likes |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Macgabe(m): 9:32am On Aug 10, 2018 |
HungerBAD: What the op is trying to say is that it should be a JOINT decision. We all are aware that childbirth isn't a joke but unfortunately, we all have our biological responsibilities. Be that as it may, the best decisions are the ones taken jointly not individually to avoid been seen as coward and selfish. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by marvinsync(m): 9:43am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Freshkidavid: Well quite frankly its her body BUT i have issues with broken agreements , if b4 marriage they agree 3 kids then later the wife says no i want 2 and the husband doesnt agree to me thats wrong of the wife , cause u cant break agreements like that . Now there are factors thaf could come in place such as health concerns ,that is ,risks that are going to be involved so in that case i believe the husband should be sensitive and understand But if she changed her mind because of comfort or personal reasons then thats bad A DEAL'S A DEAL |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by lilmax(m): 9:46am On Aug 10, 2018 |
lol....I do not think this our women have experience anything close to what our mothers experienced one thing I know for sure is how weak this generation of women are always giving excuses ....how low okay bye |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by skolawale(m): 9:54am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: Are u already Married or About to? Your comment is somehow |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by johnydon22(m): 9:57am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44:This would be correct if both were single but within the institution of marriage, this statement would be incorrect. In definition on marriage basis, neither of the spouse can take decisions concerning the family alone. It's no longer your life, your decision. By going into marriage, you have taken a partner whose opinion matters just as much. If both parties can't reach a mutual consensus or compromise, then this would be valid. They can both walk away. I think this is a case of, if you can't stand the heat, get the F out of the kitchen. Most people don't want that and most people can't afford that. Can we talk about things that are feasible please? There are two options involved. 1. Don't get married at all 2. Find a partner who don't want children P.s: I don't believe having a career is better or even remotely more noble than fostering lifwe.
In marriage? Prrrreft 3 Likes |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by megareal: 10:13am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Hmmmmm, babe u no sabi. Some childbirth from conception to delivery is a battle. Some spend almost all of nine months at the hospital, some are literally snatched from the hands of death at the delivery table. Some sustain injuries that affect their lifestyles after childbirth etc etc. The typical Nigerian wife doesn't make this decision out of selfishness (they mainly love babies). It's mostly to save their lives. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by chloride6: 10:16am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: Like I said, why get married at all. Can't you love without getting married? |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by ErogheroLove: 10:39am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Ugosample:How |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by ErogheroLove: 10:41am On Aug 10, 2018 |
ErogheroLove: |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Delivar(m): 10:47am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44:Your opinion would have made sense if there was no initial agreement between both parties concerning the number of kids they would be having. What if before the got married they agreed to have 3 kids and eventually the lady gave birth to one and then comes up with the "it's my body" talk? I know you wouldn't like it when your agreement with someone is broken. So please save us this opinion of yours. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by VictorRomanov: 10:56am On Aug 10, 2018 |
HungerBAD: Not without discussing with her husband. Understand what the lady is saying. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by bukatyne(f): 11:29am On Aug 10, 2018 |
I agree with the OP. However if there are complications and the wife tried unsuccessfully to reason with the husband, she should do what's best for her. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Sterope(f): 11:33am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Our mothers did not aspire like us. Our mothers were contended with having a family without a career. Our mothers did not care about their bodies or their health. Nowadays we have something called quality of life and it is more than the ability to feed and shelter children. maasoap: 2 Likes |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by ImaIma1(f): 11:42am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: Nothing is cast in stone. As a couple, they should be able to discuss the fears and how she feels. But she should not decide by herself that she isn't having another. Afterall, her body has become his and his body has become her's too. They could even go the CS route...no need to go into labout and push. Just fix a date get cut open. And then bear the after pain for a few days. Communication is really critical in marriage. They need to be on the same page and work as a team and not as opponents. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Sterope(f): 11:53am On Aug 10, 2018 |
There are exceptions to the rule. For example, I will not advise a woman who cannot cope emotionally and mentally to be kids. There are many 'mothers' out there who are not what you will call a mother. They are narcissists and sadists. A woman or man that does not want to have kids should not be forced to have kids. 1 Like |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by oyetpel(m): 11:58am On Aug 10, 2018 |
Sterope: Our primary role in life is to feed, have shelter and sex. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Sterope(f): 12:02pm On Aug 10, 2018 |
Your primary role in life is to feed, have shelter and sex. Some people desire much more than those for themselves and their offsprings. oyetpel: 1 Like |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Amhappy(f): 12:50pm On Aug 10, 2018 |
If there's threat to life of the woman every prior arrangement/agreement is cancelled automatically. You work with your doctors instead. If you die giving birth kpatakpata 3years the man will remarry and if the new wife is evil,your children will suffer greatly. On a normal day 3-4 babies is still very okay. 5-6 if money dey plenty. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by jmichael259(m): 1:21pm On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: I used to think i was the last person remaining with sense on earth. Nicely worded. 1 Like |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by Psoul(m): 1:54pm On Aug 10, 2018 |
Mynd44: Mynd44, are you talking to Africans or to the Western World? Meanwhile, will u accept the above condition you proffered in your own marriage? To me that line in ur comment dat says that a lot of women are scared of child bearing cos of the previous childbirth experience does not sound reasonable to me. If the experience is not life threatening or based on medical advise, the woman should not be proud to voice out such. The joy that comes after the pains will always wipe away the bitter experience. Any woman making such statement is just like someone saying that I don't want to go to school cos I am afraid of writing exams, still you want to live like a graduate. When you accept to go into marriage, you have accepted all the terms and conditions therein. The most important thing is that the man and his wife should agree on the number that they can conveniently bear and train. |
Re: Lady Shares Opinion On Women Not Having Children Against Husband's Wish by onyeka060(m): 2:11pm On Aug 10, 2018 |
lifestyle1:abeg tel them word |
My Gay Life In Nigeria - Isolation, Danger & Fear Homophobia Stirred By Politici / When A Cheating Spouse Dies / Unhappy In Marriage, Pls Advice!
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 96 |