Rooneyboy:


Your last statement "men eyes being in ladies money" has put alot of ladies in deep shitt lately.
I have a colleague that makes such statement all the time, now she's almost 50yrs looking for the perfect man.
Just don't be deceived by your married friends that comes out in public to paint an imaginary picture of them having it all in their marriages .
Truth is they go the extra mile to make their marriages work, including contributing their own quota.
My advise, "if you like someone, you guys should talk things over before walking down the aisle ".
FINANCES IS A BIG FACTOR IN MARRIAGE.

too big to be downplayed on or underestimated

Acidosis:


Funny thing is I've never dated a woman without a job or at least a degree The only difference between you and I is that unlike you, I'm not fanatically obsessed in how much she brings to the table, I don't care

Her financial contributions is a privilege, not your right.

keep contradicting urself.
and u go like argument well well.
the op advised her fellow females to work hard and become financially independent not me oh.
mumu man

StrongandMighty:
Truth of the century



This girl will surely make heaven.

I am telling u!

spiceadole:


My financial status depends on who I am dealing with.

To my parents and siblings, I am independent.
To the "average,typical Nigerian man",I rather act dependent.
I once picked my bill on a date.. Dude sent me an SMS saying "You insulted me today. I asked you out on a date,you ordered an expensive wine and paid for it, to show me you don't give a damn about me. ".
That was how it ended before it even started.
My friends blamed me.

My ex left me because according to him, I was too independent. I earned only 10K less than him. My salary was more regular.
I could afford to do things for myself (shop for groceries, change my hair, buy airtime, clothes, etc) without asking him for money. And that was quite "UNFEMININE"..It made him feel he was dating a fellow man. Women were not created/meant to be independent else what would they need men for?
He later got married to an OND holder who was teaching in a private nursery school.

She became a full time housewife after the marriage.
The funny thing is :On social media, he is part of those guys who abhor dependent women but encourage women to be financially stable... Meanwhile, he dumped an independent for a dependent one who needs him for everything including drinking water.

i am a man and i say dat ur ex is a big time hypocrite! as a successful man, i love and respect successful women. no intimidation at all, respect is reciprocal, i dnt need anyone respecting me because of my money. thats a no no

spiceadole:


That's the mentality of the average Nigerian man.
You can't blame him.
Traditionally, men were meant to be providers and women receivers.
A lot of men DO NOT LIKE women who can provide.
The same way, women DO NOT LIKE men who are receivers.

u'r very sincere as a person. i like

romenna:
u cant speak for rich girls except u r one of them

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

davillian:

Don't go there please
A jobless girl is broke
Boys still marry girls with no source of income

So what's with the complaints?

nellyelitz:
What do u have to offer a man apart from the V somsin of muOst cases a man has to spend and show sacrifices before he's given, abeg its too early.

My dear I won't answer this insulting question which seems to be the mantra of male gold diggers this days.

nellyelitz:
make a counter thread about men too or direct ur grivances to the author, don't come whinning here because ur'e exposing urself as a GUILTY one.

(Vafter) ,

I have the right to type my comment as anyone so plzzz

nwanneni:
saw a blank pm

You have to reply for us to be able to communicate

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You have to reply for us to be able to communicate

i did reply.i sent you a pm saying hi

Rooneyboy:


Your last statement "men eyes being in ladies money" has put alot of ladies in deep shitt lately.
I have a colleague that makes such statement all the time, now she's almost 50yrs looking for the perfect man.
Just don't be deceived by your married friends that comes out in public to paint an imaginary picture of them having it all in their marriages .
Truth is they go the extra mile to make their marriages work, including contributing their own quota.
My advise, "if you like someone, you guys should talk things over before walking down the aisle ".
FINANCES IS A BIG FACTOR IN MARRIAGE.

Dont take my comments here too seriously. I'm well aware relationships is all about support and I support my man. So no go think say as I dey write am here na so e be for real life.

ZIMDRILL:


Its not yardstick

But i think the message is dont burden a man to look after you when yourself you cannot

Eg i hear lots of guys here talking of “upkeep of girlfriend” its as if he has takenover the girl’s parents responsibility to look after their child

If she is financially stable in her own right, no guy would feel obliged to give upkeep money

In the western world especially among black americans, financial stable women now look into credit history of the guy she think she might marry becoz once she marries him her own good credit history might be affected

Ill keep that in mind. I don't think any ladies willingly wants to be broke or burden a man. My thoughts though

romenna:
if u r a successful lady then lets connect, i can only be motivated by ur success, cant be intimidated at all. but make sure u r legitimately successful tho, dnt come n be braggin wit sugar daddy money cos dats wat we see on a daily

Lol... Exactly what I typed earlier.
Nigerian men only see ladies who made it via sugar daddies..
They hardly recognize the legit ones.

Btw, I am a medical doctor.
I work in a federal teaching hospital.
Hence, its only normal that I pay my bills without depending on any man.

I remember when I relocated to a new state to start my new job.
After months of squatting with colleague, I decided to rent my own apartment.
The landlord upon realizing that I could afford to pay for a 1 bedroom flat, said " Abeg ooo.. I no want ashewo for my compound ".

To him... Only a prostitute could have money to afford such apartment.
I didn't blame him. As I quietly walked away, the agent who happens to be an old school mate admonished him and told him what I did for a living.
Landlord immediately changed his mind and called me back.

What I am saying is : Nigerian men do not like independent women. For obvious reasons :Either, you are a wh.o.r.e or you are "proud" and won't be easy to manipulate, hence no feeding of male ego.
I have gotten to the stage that I meet a guy and pretend I don't have a job.

That's what they appreciate.

pocohantas:
Why should any sane woman be angry with this advice? It is for her own good.

That said, men should stop marrying these dependent women.
It is that easy. But will they?

Creating a thousand threads won't change the reality that lots of men love dependent women. Check around you, you will notice your jobless course mate is married. The ones with good jobs are still single. Don't start that story of how independent ladies are proud o. The only thing that's proud, is your EGO

If everyone sticks to that beautiful advice many people will never get married and that will do the society so much good by slowing down the dangerously rising population growth and ensuring that only couples with the means to care for children are the ones procreating.

spiceadole:


Lol... Exactly what I typed earlier.
Nigerian men only see ladies who made it via sugar daddies..
They hardly recognize the legit ones.

Btw, I am a medical doctor.
I work in a federal teaching hospital.
Hence, its only normal that I pay my bills without depending on any man.

I remember when I relocated to a new state to start my new job.
After months of squatting with colleague, I decided to rent my own apartment.
The landlord upon realizing that I could afford to pay for a 1 bedroom flat, said " Abeg ooo.. I no want ashewo for my compound ".

To him... Only a prostitute could have money to afford such apartment.
I didn't blame him. As I quietly walked away, the agent who happens to be an old school mate admonished him and told him what I did for a living.
Landlord immediately changed his mind and called me back.

What I am saying is : Nigerian men do not like independent women. For obvious reasons :Either, you are a wh.o.r.e or you are "proud" and won't be easy to manipulate, hence no feeding of male ego.
I have gotten to the stage that I meet a guy and pretend I don't have a job.

That's what they appreciate.

My dear, it has little or nothing to do with the mentality of Nigerian men, it is more of reality.
Take SARS harassment issue for example, many flashy looking guys get harassed by the police due to the excesses of Yaboo+ boys.
In the same vein, many ladies are termed prostitutes due to obvious reasons.
In summary, all of these are consequences of a morally bankrupt society.

romenna:

[s]
keep contradicting urself.
and u go like argument well well.
the op advised her fellow females to work hard and become financially independent not me oh.
mumu man[/s]

Sha don't allow her money drive you insane and don't date her because of her money.. If you must marry, be ready to be responsible for your family.

nwanneni:
i did reply.i sent you a pm saying hi

Done

Acidosis:


Sha don't allow her money drive you insane and don't date her because of her money.. If you must marry, be ready to be responsible for your family.

u can not dciv us, u'r a woman using a male moniker

That's my girl. ...come give Daddy a big hug

spiceadole you speak like a responsible lady lets be friends.

My dear brother, you've spoken well
that most men chooses dependent ladies over the opposite shouldn't affect individual decision.
it's a thing of choice and perception for a lady to either be dependent or supportive.

my mum always advised and encouraged me to end up a supportive wife, and i see life in that same perspective of her's so i graduated and got a banking carer and a salon hair business at my 26years.
but then you see guys are now scared.
it all boiled down at Some men love dependent women because they know that only those dependent women can be afraid to leave the marriage.

Elder001:


Some men love dependent women because they know that only those dependent women can submit, tolerate abuse, cheating and all sorts of bullshît because they'll be afraid to leave the marriage.

and they need those things to feed their ego

-Cheating unchecked
-Abusing unchecked

-all bullshîts tolerated.


An independent woman won't tolerate bullshît from any man because of marriage.

This is NOT only among Nairaland women, sorry.

Igbokiller:
Where are the Nairaland hypocrites forming Mrs independent to defend this thread

faithsystem:
My dear brother, you've spoken well
that most men chooses dependent ladies over the opposite shouldn't affect individual decision.
it's a thing of choice and perception for a lady to either be dependent or supportive.

my mum always advised and encouraged me to end up a supportive wife, and i see life in that same perspective of her's so i graduated and got a banking carer and a salon hair business at my 26years.
but then you see guys are now scared.
i all boiled down at Some men love dependent women because they know that only those dependent women can be afraid to leave the marriage.

I don't know how this might sound to you.

Women are being allowed to do everything they're doing today because of civilization.. If you want to be civilized and liberal then you've to embrace all aspects of civilization.

If men are afraid of approaching you simply because you've money which I believe is a mentality limited to Africa, then you should try talking to a man.

Not necessarily wooing him but giving him green lights . Mix with people who share the same ideologies with you, guys who mean well for women.

Truth is, only broke men are afraid of approaching independent ladies.

No, dear, you are wrong. It isntonly in Nigeria.

nlanded:
Can't you ladies work for your own money as well? Its only in Nigeria that Nigerian ladies feel money is gender bias, money is free to all gender please, what a pity for how some of our Nigerian ladies reason.

spiceadole:


Lol... Exactly what I typed earlier.
Nigerian men only see ladies who made it via sugar daddies..
They hardly recognize the legit ones.

Btw, I am a medical doctor.
I work in a federal teaching hospital.
Hence, its only normal that I pay my bills without depending on any man.

I remember when I relocated to a new state to start my new job.
After months of squatting with colleague, I decided to rent my own apartment.
The landlord upon realizing that I could afford to pay for a 1 bedroom flat, said " Abeg ooo.. I no want ashewo for my compound ".

To him... Only a prostitute could have money to afford such apartment.
I didn't blame him. As I quietly walked away, the agent who happens to be an old school mate admonished him and told him what I did for a living.
Landlord immediately changed his mind and called me back.

What I am saying is : Nigerian men do not like independent women. For obvious reasons :Either, you are a wh.o.r.e or you are "proud" and won't be easy to manipulate, hence no feeding of male ego.
I have gotten to the stage that I meet a guy and pretend I don't have a job.

That's what they appreciate.

Lol.. so all you care about now is how to impress men?

I don't really know where you people meet those men who hate independent women oh.

Even the ones forming alpha male would want you to have a job just that they won't want you to contribute, so I'm confused if men who don't want ladies to have jobs really exist.


You're a medical doctor.. You see
An average Nigerian man will be afraid of approaching you for fear of being disgraced.

Only rich men will approach you if you're rich unless you want to do the approaching yourself. I don't really blame them, imagine a man earning 100k with a 2m Hyundai car approaching a lady who's using a 5m jeep and won't be afraid.

Arobake:
This is NOT only among Nairaland women, sorry.

we are Nigerians not british, sorry



Let's deal with our own shii

spiceadole:


My financial status depends on who I am dealing with.

To my parents and siblings, I am independent.
To the "average,typical Nigerian man",I rather act dependent.
I once picked my bill on a date.. Dude sent me an SMS saying "You insulted me today. I asked you out on a date,you ordered an expensive wine and paid for it, to show me you don't give a damn about me. ".
That was how it ended before it even started.
My friends blamed me.

My ex left me because according to him, I was too independent. I earned only 10K less than him. My salary was more regular.
I could afford to do things for myself (shop for groceries, change my hair, buy airtime, clothes, etc) without asking him for money. And that was quite "UNFEMININE"..It made him feel he was dating a fellow man. Women were not created/meant to be independent else what would they need men for?
He later got married to an OND holder who was teaching in a private nursery school.

She became a full time housewife after the marriage.
The funny thing is :On social media, he is part of those guys who abhor dependent women but encourage women to be financially stable... Meanwhile, he dumped an independent for a dependent one who needs him for everything including drinking water.

I understand your pain, but you still didn't answer my question, but by inference let me assume you mean, you will from now onward act dependent and let the guy pick the bills. May I let you know, I find nothing wrong in this arrangement, so long as the guy is cool with it.

But for me, I believe an independent lady who sticks with me means I have more to offer than money, and I believe that's what an ideal relationship should portray.

And I know there are many guys like me too, who's value are beyond their financial capability and who don't feel emasculated by independent women.

Elder001:


I don't know how this might sound to you.

Women are being allowed to do everything they're doing today because of civilization.. If you want to be civilized and liberal then you've to embrace all aspects of civilization.

If men are afraid of approaching you simply because you've money which I believe is a mentality limited to Africa, then you should try talking to a man.

Not necessarily wooing him but giving him green lights . Mix with people who share the same ideologies with you, guys who mean well for women.

Truth is, only broke men are afraid of approaching independent ladies.

faithsystem:
wow!!!
i'm so encouraged by your words, it's really courageous i must say, thank you.
but come to think of it, i don't even got an evidencing scary money as such o

Lol.. just do as I advised you.
Try talking to a man if you can't then give green lights.

you sounds nice,
i could start with you. think i like you

please i'm not being sarcastic here

Elder001:


Lol.. just do as I advised you.

Try talking to a man if you can't then give green lights.

faithsystem:
you sounds nice,
i could start with you. think i like you

please i'm not being sarcastic here

I got married in November 2015.

BTW, the best social media platform to find a real man is twitter. So real.

I won't hesitate to inform you if a friend is interested in marriage (people are scared of marriage these days).