A single man can not rape a woman. It means you actually wanted him to Bleep you because I hate it when I hear that just one man raped a lady. You wanted to have a taste and now you want to make it look like you never agreed.

Is he not the same man that will eventually marry you and Bleep your pussy? What's the difference if he bleeped before marriage? Your pride my black ass
Better jump on him and say yes you ready to marry him, forget those fake prophets or you will be led astray.

By the way i think you just making this story up to get to the front page and also to get some attention. Smh

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Suicide is not the answer, for a minute consider yourself lucky, cause this same guy could have tricked you into marriage, before unveiling himself. Just consider that a close one and move on.

smileing:


ok
I ve not considered reporting him but if I do I don't think I have a strong evidence apart from the broken hymen.
is there anything else I need to know before reporting him that ll substantiate my evidence

Please let it go for the sake of the love you have for him.. Don't bother reporting him. I know it's rape, buh please let it go. At least for your pride. And i know you don't know that's why he wants to pay your bride price now. It's really not easy to date without sex. Especially when the lady is claiming virgin, you have no idea what our Edo sisters has done to that word 'Virgin'. So please forgive him. Don't press further. As a religious person, when the right person comes your way, he can't won't pass you by or leave because you are not a virgin. My only advice is that, make sure to reveal to whosoever you think deserves to know when he comes your way, explain it all to him and make sure to stand your ground you are not doing anything till your wedding night. If he can stay, let him buh if he can't let him go. Like i said earlier, you being the religious type will help you to know the right one when the time is right. Leave your present one, he isn't your husband, you know that yourself. Let it go. Stop holding on becasue he took your virginity 'forcefully'.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Hhmm...this issue contain many parts to it.

First is self-identity
Second is culture
Third is religion
Fourth is life purpose
Fifth is guilt
Sixth is at crossroads
Seventh is attachment.

Each is important and all have meaning to you. Its a lot of weight to carry all of them on your chest. So lessen the burden on your spirit. In other words give your spirit freedom.
To do that start by eliminating two items with least significance. These two will be the items that you can live without and still not suffer any guilt or trauma if you detach yourself from the relationship.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

Please epp me ask those 5 people what the correct score will be between Arsenal and ManCity tomorrow, if they cant, then you have your answer.
I still need those predictions biko.

Rcrown:
A single man can not rape a woman. It means you actually wanted him to Bleep you because I hate it when I hear that just one man raped a lady. You wanted to have a taste and now you want to make it look like you never agreed.

what do you mean a single man cannot rape a woman? Maybe you are that fragile and skinny though buh please stop thinking everyone is like you and mind you, the said guy is herboyfriend which she has talked to about things before thinking she's in safe hands already. She'd definitely loose guard and 'd never see it coming.

Though his hormones failed him. He might still turned out to be a good husband. You can count your loss but reporting him to any authority will further dent your image as it will blown the matter open. Take consolace in the God u serve. It the deflowering(forcefully) happened in his house the authority will close the case right there. You have been violated by someone u trust but don't violate yourself by making it any authorities case.

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Lol.
Think of getting married.
Think of raising kids and the troubles that come with it
Think of running a home, a business, a career
Think of your husband, think of the many rounds of sex during marriage, think of old age, think of death. Think of child bearing

You'll realize that virginity is nothing. You've lost it. You'll lose it again and again. There's more to value in this world than virginity

Malawian:

Please epp me ask those 5 people what the correct score will be between Arsenal and ManCity tomorrow, if they cant, then you have your answer.
I still need those predictions biko.

na you dey rush me buh make i help your career. Arsenal 2 - Man city 3. Don't mention bro. What are we nairalanders for.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

No big deal. Just find reasons to feel better especially now that you want to settle down. The virginity is gone and no amount of hurt you feel will bring it back. Pick your pieces together and move on. I love you

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

I am really sorry for what happened. I don't think wise men value virginity the way you see it. Yes, girls pride themselves for that but in a case where you don't have it anymore, it does not in any way mean you are useless. Whether you want to punish you friend for that depends on you. you may jump and say yes, i want to get even with him but at the long run, you will end up hurting yourself or even losing more. If you really love him, pray over it and get married to him. No person is perfect. Your life can change him for better if you think he does not fear God enough.
God knows how you feel about losing your virginity. I still believe that being chaste is for God not for for human. No damn human is worth keeping your virginity for. We are sinners. God will forgive because you didn't do it willingly. You were forced. whether you enjoyed it or not doesn't matter. you were forced. whether you were talked into doing it doesn't matter. PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER COMMITTING SUICIDE. IT DOESN'T WORTH LOSING YOUR LIFE FOR. Worst people most times make a good husband. do not count him off

victorian:
[s]Eeyah

Sorry about the rape ordeal. I can imagine how u will be feeling all through.

I wouldn't advise you to marry him and I doubt if he really had plans to marry you. He simply deceived you, made you trust him, all for the cookie.

Na WA o.

Don't worry take heart, tell your parents about it and get him arrested. He shouldn't go Scot free.

And please next time, don't go visiting a guy without a friend or else same thing might still occur, if u don't play along with him.
Visiting a guy wooing u, in his mind, he is like..... You want sex! That's the truth. That's how most of their brains are wired.

Not Every guy out there will just seat back, smile at you in his home without wanting to touch and have sex. Please be wise and careful next time in the future.

God be with you[/s].

Why would you demonize men by your shallow & myopic reasoning?.. Did you skip the part she admitted she still loves him inspite?
Why not address the issue rather than draw a gender line?
I'm sick of NL dumbheads.

kiss the truth!

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

If ur a Christian as u claim u won’t say u feeling suicidal. I can’t imagine wat U’ve been tru bt I know it must be traumatic bt ur strength to push on comes from ur belief and faith. Being pure isn’t just by keeping ur vigirnity. It’s from ur heart. There many impure virgins doing worse things than non virgins if u don’t know I’m telling u now. Ur heart is wat God looks at. Study ur bible more.

Set the guy up and report him

Set up a camera in a room that will not endanger you, call him to come and when he does and bring up the rape issue so he'll apologize. When he apologizes promising marriage, tell him you will think about it.
Then you can do the reporting with a proof.

He doesn't want to marry you , he only told you that so that you wouldn't report him. That is the tactics of a rapist. Go on and report him, he raped you.

Follow your heart!

But I really don't understand this fact about people seeing who is or isn't your husband/wife. My ex once told me she was having series of dreams about me, indicative that I wasn't the one for her. Just few weeks after she broke up, she's already with someone else sharp girl with big god.

My sister you should let go and have your life back, someone you have benefited from for almost a year should not be seen as a rapist because he wanted it. Its simple in saying that if you don't want a guy or a girl don't eat their money or accept their gift, if you arrest him I swear you will lose the case because the rape was not done today and even when it happen and till now you didn't tell your parents, be wise. Even the people asking you to arrest him will not even call ordinary vigilante into the matter. Wake up now...

eelipumpin:
I don't think it's rape. It's one those JUST HAPPENED kinda situations.

Do you know Christ has paid for that sin? The prolong guilt is Satan's stronghold on you.

Righteousness is not our inability to fall but it is our responsibility to rise up when we fall. Christ is our righteousness.

God still sees you as a daughter not a non virgin. He still calls you His own. He still has you in His plan.

Virginity self righteousness really ate u up but this incident should teach you to judge less and value grace.


I wrote all these cuz u said you are Religious.

Don't be hard on your self when God is seeing differently.

Forgive yourself and marry the right Man God has designed for you.

You've learnt your mistakes. He was never a sincere Believer and you knew it.
Just be fine.

please can we communicate further? I need these words in my lige

Women like to hang on to the dude who deflower them, they should why she is saying she can't leave him. It's so sad that who she trusted did that to her and the more reason she shouldn't marry him. Such men can even rape their daughters in future.

Richy4:
This sounds to me like a bad scripted movie...

The dude raped u..and u chose to keep it bottled up...

You said u can't leave because u love him... ok

If you don't want to marry him, and the thought of marrying him has not crossed your mind what in God's name where you doing with him for one year?

You can't have all the package at a go dear.. you said he was financially ok, educated, promising.. etc but not God fearing.. I guess you were thinking that you might change him....and he ended up changing u..
If u loved him as u claimed, accept him with all his faults.. don't let any one decide for you whom to be with..

If you don't want him, you should have ended it long time ago.end it.. don't marry him because you were no longer a virgin...that will be suicidal..
A lot of men would still want to be with you not because of your virginity...

Please next time don't go to a man's house when you know that you won't play ball even if he is an angel.. always meet at a public space.. even when you were hugging him, give some room for Jesus between the two of you..

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

You need not be ashamed of yourself . If you love him go ahead and marry him...we are now in jet age....The idea of visiting prophets etc to confirm yiur future husband is a scam.....need down and pray over it yourself and God will answer and bless the union.....no one has seen God so don't rely on their fake prophesy. You are what you believe

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Please run away from that rapist
I can assure you ,you are not the first he's done this to and you won't be the last. You should have handed him over to the police and left him the very time ithappened
He has shown you what manner of man he is,what else do you want to hear
He is Wicked,selfish,without self control and obviously cares nothing about you.
He did this to satisfy his beastly nature and trap you not caring what it might do to you emotionally.
He doesn't love you
He wants to own you
What lover would destroy one emotionally for love
If he calls it love he is a twisted sadistic fellow that you need to flee from

Read my lips

Don't marry that animal
Run far far away,change your number

You will regret it if you marry him
Next time he rapes you ,you may carry belle
The feelings you have now is enough warning
Eediots like this don't give up without a fight,please be safe
This person can kill if he can't have what he wants

Women like to hang on to the dude who deflower them, that is why she is saying she can't leave him. It's so sad that who she trusted did that to her and the more reason she shouldn't marry him. Such men can even rape their daughters in future.

Richy4:
This sounds to me like a bad scripted movie...

The dude raped u..and u chose to keep it bottled up...

You said u can't leave because u love him... ok

If you don't want to marry him, and the thought of marrying him has not crossed your mind what in God's name where you doing with him for one year?

You can't have all the package at a go dear.. you said he was financially ok, educated, promising.. etc but not God fearing.. I guess you were thinking that you might change him....and he ended up changing u..
If u loved him as u claimed, accept him with all his faults.. don't let any one decide for you whom to be with..

If you don't want him, you should have ended it long time ago.end it.. don't marry him because you were no longer a virgin...that will be suicidal..
A lot of men would still want to be with you not because of your virginity...

Please next time don't go to a man's house when you know that you won't play ball even if he is an angel.. always meet at a public space.. even when you were hugging him, give some room for Jesus between the two of you..

AkpatiOzu1:
onye alalala alago ya

Making such jest with such issues pertaining to a daughter of Zion can be detrimental!!.

D1official:

Making such jest with such issues pertaining to a daughter of Zion can be detrimental!!.

do you know the meaning bro?
are you igbo?

Richy4:
This sounds to me like a bad scripted movie...

The dude raped u..and u chose to keep it bottled up...

You said u can't leave because u love him... ok

If you don't want to marry him, and the thought of marrying him has not crossed your mind what in God's name where you doing with him for one year?

You can't have all the package at a go dear.. you said he was financially ok, educated, promising.. etc but not God fearing.. I guess you were thinking that you might change him....and he ended up changing u..
If u loved him as u claimed, accept him with all his faults.. don't let any one decide for you whom to be with..

If you don't want him, you should have ended it long time ago.end it.. don't marry him because you were no longer a virgin...that will be suicidal..
A lot of men would still want to be with you not because of your virginity...

Please next time don't go to a man's house when you know that you won't play ball even if he is an angel.. always meet at a public space.. even when you were hugging him, give some room for Jesus between the two of you..

It's probably conjured story ... i call bull...

If I laugh now, someone would say I'm heartless, but Honestly I've watched the movie of this story

IntrovertedK:
what do you mean a single man cannot rape a woman? Maybe you are that fragile and skinny though buh please stop thinking everyone is like you and mind you, the said guy is herboyfriend which she has talked to about things before thinking she's in safe hands already. She'd definitely loose guard and 'd never see it coming.

I Don't Support Rape, But Trust Me U Can't Control A 4yrs Old Body Becos Its N't Urs The Human Body Is That Unique, Try It And Tell Me Ur Result

vululadilolo:


Although It's easier said than done, don't be too hard on yourself. He forced himself on you.He is a predator, you are a victim. You did nothing wrong. Don't let it break your spirit.

Look for a professional therapist( female if you fear being assaulted again). If you can't or don't want to, find a trustworthy ( non-judgemental) family member/friend to confide in. Don't keep to yourself. Get your mind busy and fight those suicidal thoughts.

I guess I don't understand what being chaste means because I don't see why you don't consider yourself chaste : You were forced to act against your belief/faith. If he "convinced" you to continue sleeping with him since you are not a virgin anymore and you don't feel at ease with it, stop it...

Life does not always happen the way we want it. We need to face it and rebuild ourselves differently. It can be hard but it's possible( that's why you need all the positive or professional help you can get).

Once again, don't keep (it) to yourself, find someone trustworthy to confide in, preferably a professional. Virgin or not, rape is a terrible assault to your mental and physical integrity.

Btw, If you are still in contact with him, cut it. It's toxic. I insist, if possible, report him. Wish you all the best !

You are indeed wise!

TimeManager:

Why would you demonize men by your shallow & myopic reasoning?.. Did you skip the part she admitted she still loves him inspite?
Why not address the issue rather than draw a gender line?
I'm sick of NL dumbheads.

kiss the truth!

Am not demonizing men.. That's the reality.

While I was living alone, I was almost raped three times on different occasions cos I wan marry!
First rape attempt! Was in my office! Yes in my office ,some years back. I invited guy wooing me, we've been chatting for a while. And we were like let's hang out. Let meet up at my office, then we can hang out. He came when I was about to close office. I showed him round, he had this innocent smile. I never knew he was a devil. As we were about to leave, I had a pressing headache, I was like u know what let's call it a night. Am not feeling fine. He said eeyah sorry. Anyways to cut long story short, he hugged me , relaxed then he wanted to kiss I pulled back. Come and see his hard grip, I was like pls stop. He had this mad excited look in his eyes. He said cmon? Relax.. I was so pissed, I was struggling, he was laughing saying am. Making him more excited by my struggles, then he pinned me by one of my tables, his hands were just like iron. I was scared, I then remembered security guard is not far from my door.. I said if u don't leave me I will scream and security will throw u out! Leave me now! Then I screamed, he thought I was joking. Security knocked at my door. Madam are u okay? . That's when he let go off me. With shaky hands, I opened the door Security walked him out immediately that's number one

Number two, after some months, I say make I date again. At least I can't be single But I will be careful. We met at my place. Foolish me.. I easily forget. That one sef also tried raping me, but I pushed him and ran out of my house with speed of lighting.

Number three, after a year, I say make I date again. Sighs.. This one happened in his family home. He said everyone will be at home and wants to introduce me to the family, whereas it was just him and his friend. God saved me. Immediately I notice no one at home. I became nervous and ready to run. Lol

And I did ran, when opportunity came.

Ha! God!.. Some men out there are evil. Ladies beware o! Be very careful and alert. Not all. Men u see walking towards u with a smile is harmless. Some are demons! And that's the truth!