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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? (75292 Views)
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Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by topteeno: 12:26am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing: |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Caseless: 12:27am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing:what is it about you that makes men lose control? Even the therapist attempted? Just stay strong. I'm really Sorry for what happened! 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by ranmoor: 12:32am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Caseless:Why kind therapist? She only visited all this church "therapist" not a professional I think! 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by badpitch(f): 12:34am On Aug 12, 2018 |
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Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 12:35am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian:Lucky you. I was on the verge of reporting such an aunty when she subverted me and reported that I was playing with electricity sockets.. oh oh oh... Some of us knew how to fvck before knowing how to wash even handkerchiefs.... Or wear clothes properly... aunties responsible of course. Take a sample on nairaland and see the level of damage done to the men.. some are even proud of it... 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 12:39am On Aug 12, 2018 |
weyreypey: Wow! Na wa o. And your parents believe her? Wow! So what kind of guy are you now, as uv grown up? |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by 12345baba(m): 12:39am On Aug 12, 2018 |
I don't even understand what exactly u want |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 12:41am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian: The kind of dad who'd not joke with the safety and security of the kids ... Not all Nigerian boys who faced such made it out sane 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Boss13: 12:43am On Aug 12, 2018 |
I didn’t want to comment on this but I decided otherwise because you are traumatized. Like you have said, you need to take care of you because of your emotional instability. In all honesty, nairaland is the wrong place to come for advice. 99.9% of the monikers commenting are only reactors. For you this is your reality, to them it’s another sad thread. However, this is a bad situation and complicated. You can try doing a situation analysis. If you have the money, try to see a therapist. If you don’t see someone trustworthy and respected in order to avoid further molestation. Anyone you talk to will only offer their own opinion, but only you would take action. Also, whatever action you intend to take consider it critically. The justice system in Nigeria is not an effective one and it would be sad if you experience double jeopardy in the view of seeking justice. Furthermore, I know you are religious, but nobody can tell or show you the husband to marry. Please discard such belief. I know you are torn between the love you have for him and the harm he has caused you. Notwithstanding, only you can sort yourself out. Try to care of you! |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Caseless: 12:44am On Aug 12, 2018 |
ranmoor:I see. She should see a professional. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Goldmaxx(f): 12:48am On Aug 12, 2018 |
queenbetsy:you have big boobies ooo queenbetsy:you have big boobies ooo 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 12:48am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing:what has he done for you, how has he contributed to your life? better run, he may kill u one day |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by TruthHurts100: 12:49am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Nobody has heard the guy's side of the story. If you judge without hearing from both sides, the Bible says you're foolish. 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Chigeorge2015(m): 12:52am On Aug 12, 2018 |
If u said u loved him, marry him. Nothing has spoilt. Stop listening to those advising u to report him for arrest |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 12:52am On Aug 12, 2018 |
weyreypey: Eeyah That's good Very good You made it out strong! Thumbs up! May God keep you strong always to see them through life, amen. Smiles. 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 12:56am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian:Amen. But it wasn't easy. You must realise that you were molested before you can heal. Most guys live in denial of the fact |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by iamjustified(m): 1:06am On Aug 12, 2018 |
vululadilolo: YOU HAVE SAID IT ALL. OPO ORO O KUN AGBON! |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nancypunni: 1:07am On Aug 12, 2018 |
All of you are on this thread are jonzing people ...asin starting with the mugu that wrote this trash to the mod that attended to it..i swear!! 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 1:09am On Aug 12, 2018 |
weyreypey: One can't heal o. Not everyone can heal and move on. Someone like me, if I were actually raped! I won't be the same ever again. In fact Its either he kills me or I kill him. Such rapist will not go Scot free. Mine was fingering at 7years old.. Then attempted rapes during adult age. Which actually made me detest men for years. So u can imagine, if it were full rape, the whole ten yards! Mehn! Such guy is goner! Na death go end am. I just thank God. God saved me several times. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:10am On Aug 12, 2018 |
hollyray2016: hollyray2016: I feel sorry for you. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:10am On Aug 12, 2018 |
thorpido: Does she have any evidence to prove he really raped her?? This is one of the reasons I want DNA test facilities and other facilities that can help in determining whether a rape case is true or false in Nigeria . So many men have got their reputation destroyed because of false rape and sexual harassment accusations. I hardly believe a rape case if the lady say it didn't happen at the time she's reporting it. If we should interrogate this lady now she'll start counting months and years here so how will DNA or any judge know whether she was really raped or not 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by nkemdi89(f): 1:11am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Don't arrest him, you can't justify rape in this case, you will end up humiliating yourself the more, another thing , the guy never believed you were a virgin and he has discussed your issues with his friends and they advised him to check and confirm. You had the fairy tale fantasy of wedding night whereby he will lift you unto the bed for the action, unfortunately it's not going to happen, forgive yourself, shit happens . you got carried with his romance and you couldn't control it when he slides it or you wanted to withdrew unfortunately it was late. Let him marry you , he isn't going to pay for your dowry but also " blood money" as obtainable in most Islamic countries. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding , remember if after marriage you want to start witch hunting him with the incident you may see the beast in him, at least you can brag to him after marriage that he met you intact. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:12am On Aug 12, 2018 |
vululadilolo: Nigerian law doesn't recognize marital rape. 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by DeeMain(m): 1:12am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Hi Vululadilolo From the things you've written here I have no doubt in my mind that you need a therapist to sort this out. The issue can be sorted in few sessions and you can get your old self back. Chastity was a core value of yours. You built your life around it. Now that it has been forcefully taken from you without your permission you've lost your sense of self and feel violated at the core. In essence you are having identity crisis. You can overcome this trauma, build yourself up again and build even more solid convictions about your life, worth, righteousness and wholeness. You can even use this blip as the trigger to become a huge success and a channel of life to the world. It's not the end of the word. Your worth and value and the love you have for yourself can even be far greater than it ever was. Believe me. I am a professional therapist and I can help you get there. PS : if you are willing to do a phone session with me to resolve this fast pm me. Otherwise, go find a good therapist and sort yourself out. Best wishes |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 1:14am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian:Death? Quite extreme. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 1:15am On Aug 12, 2018 |
kneehighbootz:You just had to ensure that number ain't lost |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:18am On Aug 12, 2018 |
TruthHurts100: It's not only about whether he has told his own part or not. After analyzing this case very carefully I've come to the conclusion that this lady wasn't raped. He deceived her into the act and she's now feeling remorseful. I'm not in anyway discrediting her post . If at all her claim is real then she should sue him with evidence. Though laws for rapists and false rape accusers are needed in this country 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:19am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing: OP, I'm truly sorry about what happened to you. You know, your story has really helped me make a decision about someone today. These type of men hardly change. They are narcissists who see it as their right to a woman's body and he will forever rationalise his actions. I think you shouldn't let him get away with it. Report him to the police, tell his family members and his friends so they know what kind of animal he is, that he will go as far as raping his own fiancee. He is Ammon and he was never in love with you, He was only lustful for your body. I'm sorry and I deeply empathise with your situation. Try and confide in a trusted friend. You'll need their support. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 1:19am On Aug 12, 2018 |
weyreypey: Oh yes, Death! That's the only thing that will give me peace. I don't care if am killed in the process or jailed. Such trauma is no joke. People think its just Bleep and voila! One cleans herself up and move on. For me, it's more than that. My spirit and body is violated and I won't accept such and move on, like nothing happened. I won't. I can be that extreme. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 1:20am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian:You are capable of forgiveness |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:24am On Aug 12, 2018 |
IntrovertedK: // |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by efficiencie(m): 1:25am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing: Stewpidity on an ASTRONOMICAL SCALE... You did not pray and find out if he is your husband before getting dangerously close to him! You did not consult those you consulted before you started dancing too close to his fiery rod. Now he has fired you beyond repair and you are crying over spilt milk...Madam pick yourself up and face reality which is; you are now fairly used...try not to become very-used or scrap by being careful next time! 1 Like |
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