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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? (75271 Views)
I'm being pressured for marriage. I'm tired! / How My Boyfriend And Friend Forcefully Took Turns On Me – Lady Reveals (photos) / 'Thank God For The Guy Who Disvirgined My Virginity Today' - Lady On Facebook (2) (3) (4)
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Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:28am On Aug 12, 2018 |
kneehighbootz:your dad, mum and entire family are mo.r.on.. If somones opinion differ from yours, is it all that hard to ignore and peruse other comments? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:29am On Aug 12, 2018 |
TimeManager: And lemme guess, the truth would be for her to marry her rapist, abi? You must think life is a nollywood movie. Why not step away from your phone screen and join real life? 3 Likes |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 1:31am On Aug 12, 2018 |
weyreypey: God forbid! Not in this case. Where my sanity is involved? Forgive in rape, no dey my dictionary. Such evil people are not meant to be alive to torment others anymore. Anyways that's it for tonight from my end, Feeling sleepy here.. smiles. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by weyreypey: 1:33am On Aug 12, 2018 |
victorian:Don't be like lalas247. Sleep well. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 1:37am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:41am On Aug 12, 2018 |
kneehighbootz:let her go drag herself in the mud when she also stand the chance of letting go. If the said fiance isn't attractive to the O.P, she wouldn't have gave in to him. If you've bn fooled by a lady before you'd know better. And he sees himself as the Ops' husband already, he probably wanted to make sure he's not being fooled. OP is pained now because they can't marry each other because 'spiritually', they are not meant, if the thing had eventually worked out, she'd have bn less pained and still it's still not the guys' fault they won't be together at the end, 'It just doesn't end up happening'. OP is just feeling what every other girls do feel after breakup.. They all (including the non virgins, even professional prostitutes) always regret giving their bodies to the men that never keep them. Her own major issue is just the 'Virginity and Wedding night ecstasy (or probably fantasy)'. I am against rape and if she thinks she can take the shames, let her see the end of the man that would have bn her husband if not for spiritual (Religion) reason. 2 Likes |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by victorian(f): 1:41am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:42am On Aug 12, 2018 |
thorpido:did she say she was raped 2 Likes |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Metooreal: 1:43am On Aug 12, 2018 |
@Smileng, i hope you get to read this. Never said this to anyone before except my sis (i regreted i did cos she abused me with it when we had issues), am Writing this to encourage you. I am called this omo depa when i was in school. At 24 i never dated anyone and a virgin. Was so glad when i clocked 24 n still a virgin cos i was like i have just one year to finish school. I never wanted to date anyone until after school. One day i thought, i think i should start looking out!!! That was how i met a guy. Not my match in the faith but he was in for all i wanted him to be. Brilliant, fun to be with, wipes my tears (i was being maltreated at home so i wanted someone i can talk to or run to). He wanted sex by all means, and then after about 3 months i tokd him i cant do it cos am a virgin. He shouted you mean you are my wife? I think most guys love virgins, lol. He was ready to go on with the relationship. Later he begged us to be kissing, i said never and one day i visited him crying, and after consoling he kissed me unexpectedly and that was how we continued kissing until one day. We had an argument and he vowed to purnish me by disvirgining me, haaa, mogbe, like play like play, Only God safe me that day but..... i wasn't disflowered that day but what happened to me that day left us with no choice but to submit to him to do it. I got pregnant as a virgin. That day when he couldn't find his way into me cos i hard there like iron. He released around it and i got pregnant. Ha wan die, final year in school, and my school fees is no beans, private university. I wan die, i saw my myself a looser, a great sinner, a prostitute, i called myself unprintable names. I practically was reading bible to judfe myself. To crown it, if my dad ever hear of the pregnancy na to disown me, and i aborted it. The day he disvirgined me i almost ran into a moving car but i remembered hell, i prayed for forgiveness abd begged God to kill me. What am i living for? I used to see myself as a queen, queen virgin, but now queen prostitute. I see myself as a different girl, but now as other girls. My worst nightmares were when i remember my pride was gone. I looked like aid patient and i was called a witch at home. This one has been caught by some powers stronger than hers, beta stop drinking blood. Hehehe, that was what i got from home they never knew i was dieing of mt sin inside. For over 6 good months, i cry daily for forgiveness. Glory to God, one day, while ready my bible i read if the son if man set you free you are free indeed! Like cold water was poured from my head down, the guilt left me, i had peace from then. Became happy. He left me after that incident. Got married three years after to my sweet heart, told him all that happened and he did not believe i lost my virginity cos our first night, i was fully tight. He said I am still a virgin. He told his people he married me a virgin. We had to use different ointment before he could get through. That's the perfection in healing and forgiveness. God bless you. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Lolulolu(m): 1:44am On Aug 12, 2018 |
If he is still forcing himself on you he will do it for the rest of ur life,plus stand up and make a decision for yourself and leave DAT relationship ,,u said it yourself his not your partner so let go before he does something terrible |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Disciple001: 1:48am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Hmmmm..... |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Disciple001: 1:50am On Aug 12, 2018 |
[quote author=Metooreal post=70198714]@Smileng, i hope you get to read this. Never said this to anyone before except my sis (i regreted i did cos she abused me with it when we had issues), am Writing this to encourage you. I am called this omo depa when i was in school. At 24 i never dated anyone and a virgin. Was so glad when i clocked 24 n still a virgin cos i was like i have just one year to finish school. I never wanted to date anyone until after school. One day i thought, i think i should start looking out!!! That was how i met a guy. Not my match in the faith but he was in for all i wanted him to be. Brilliant, fun to be with, wipes my tears (i was being maltreated at home so i wanted someone i can talk to or run to). He wanted sex by all means, and then after about 3 months i tokd him i cant do it cos am a virgin. He shouted you mean you are my wife? I think most guys love virgins, lol. He was ready to go on with the relationship. Later he begged us to be kissing, i said never and one day i visited him crying, and after consoling he kissed me unexpectedly and that was how we continued kissing until one day. We had an argument and he vowed to purnish me by disvirgining me, haaa, mogbe, like play like play, Only God safe me that day but..... i wasn't disflowered that day but what happened to me that day left us with no choice but to submit to him to do it. I got pregnant as a virgin. That day when he couldn't find his way into me cos i hard there like iron. He released around it and i got pregnant. Ha wan die, final year in school, and my school fees is no beans, private university. I wan die, i saw my myself a looser, a great sinner, a prostitute, i called myself unprintable names. I practically was reading bible to judfe myself. To crown it, if my dad ever hear of the pregnancy na to disown me, and i aborted it. The day he disvirgined me i almost ran into a moving car but i remembered hell, i prayed for forgiveness abd begged God to kill me. What am i living for? I used to see myself as a queen, queen virgin, but now queen prostitute. I see myself as a different girl, but now as other girls. My worst nightmares were when i remember my pride was gone. I looked like aid patient and i was called a witch at home. This one has been caught by some powers stronger than hers, beta stop drinking blood. Hehehe, that was what i got from home they never knew i was dieing of mt sin inside. For over 6 good months, i cry daily for forgiveness. Glory to God, one day, while ready my bible i read if the son if man set you free you are free indeed! Like cold water was poured from my head down, the guilt left me, i had peace from then. Became happy. He left me after that incident. Got married three years after to my sweet heart, told him all that happened and he did not believe i lost my virginity cos our first night, i was fully tight. He said I am still a virgin. He told his people he married me a virgin. We had to use different ointment before he could get through. That's the perfection in healing and forgiveness. God bless you. God bless you too |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by obstead200(m): 1:55am On Aug 12, 2018 |
[size=13pt] All I can say is that the OP has serious psychological issues.....and a lot of self esteem issues too. I see mental breakdown in the horizon for her if she is not careful. You were raped. Too bad. Sorry. But just come off it already and go do something with ur life. Idleness is obviously a big part of your problem [/size] |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by cococandy(f): 2:02am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Thank you. you said it all. vululadilolo: 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Adebowale89(m): 2:04am On Aug 12, 2018 |
just look at some posts up there. average Nigerians with their one way thinking. rape is one of the deadliest social problem which I always kick against but I have learnt not to take side in a story like this because is full of dependent religion, and begging of public sympathy imagine someone that's rape asking what she can do? you're in a date with someone for a year as you claimed, he cut your hymen, and you still continue to visit him and he kept raping means you're also enjoying it but you're not just comfortable with it if truly you don't like sex, why continue with him? why continue with him even when your pastor said he's not your husband? I just feel you're satisfying your self gratification at the detriment of staining his image there is no rape here, just lack of understanding btw the two of u 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by tiwiex(m): 2:18am On Aug 12, 2018 |
alterswerve:I don't know what you mean bro but it sure sounds nice. Hehehehe.. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:20am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Don't complicate issues, it's simple. Call his ass and tell him exactly how you feel if you love him and only hurts cos your first time which ought to be beautiful nd memorable you know, in fact, a night of bliss has become a night. Now try to get past it and have him sincerely apologise cos he might not have intended it to go down this way and there is also a possibility he does not know. I verily believes he loves you, cos till death do us part ain't no child's play. So why you tell him the honest truth about how you feel in the most submissive way. You know how best to talk to him. You can also choose to send him a mail or a sms. This should walk better as you would be able to put down exactly how you feel and transmit same to him let it hit him like a bomb. You shouldn't feel the pain alone. Let him feel some guilty too which I believe he will once he come s to the knowledge of how his actions of the past has greatly damaged you psychologically. This should determine what happens next. Pls be vigilant for songs you can't take in a marriage and don't go into it if your mind says no. I repeat till death do us part ain't no child's play. Don't ever mortgage your happiness for nobody and learn to roll with he who brings out the very best in you and not cause you persistent heart ache. Shallom. 1 Like |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by blackgold2018(m): 2:29am On Aug 12, 2018 |
I'm I the only one suspecting she wasn't raped. She simply made a mistake. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by unmask: 2:30am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Op sorry for your loss....if reporting him will heal you then by all means go ahead I for one the whole virginity, wedding day stuff is all bull to me......the brain is for better things than useless memories of wedding night...that should have been spent sleeping after the wedding stress.........but then I respect those that feel it is the holy grail Anyways future partner, girlfriend or wife..... kindly disvirgin yourself..... I don't give a crap about it.....if I like you it's because of your personality and not the condition of the flesh between your legs 2 Likes |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by tiwiex(m): 2:41am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Richy4:Gbam. I knew someone will say something in this line. Too many conflicting stuff you already raised. I am not saying you lying. Just conflicting stuff. You won't get a good response here. Which one do you intend to accept? It seems the issue has to do with you making up your mind. You have asked 5 people and they say it's not him. Who are they and what gives them more sense over you who knows him? I see you are overly religious and too hard on yourself. Even a religious person might have done the same and even treated you worse afterwards. I think we have been so programmed to think of religion over love. Religion makes us so hard on ourselves. I know a few whi ended marrying badly. The problem is there are many wolve's in sheep's clothing. For Jesus to have said this, don't you think there are many sheep's in wolves clothing too? For you to bring this here, I believe you love him but conflicted. Conflicted with what all the silly and selfish advisers will do. Your family won't like him? Watch na when his money comes. He probably would even respect and treat them the best. I have seen such a case and the lady stood her ground because she saw his heart. Do you see his heart? I think you do else you won't be here confused. People pretend and its easy to pretend to get you. Give ten guys here access to you and you will fall. Why? Because they know what you want and will go along. They will even follow you to church and fear God pass you. Lol. Let me ask you. How did you end up with him? You did not meet any of those God Fearing guys in your church? This happens a lot because there seems to be no correlation between religion and love. Stop beating yourself aunty and move forward with your life. He didn't dis virgin and leave you. He doesn't treat you badly. He still wants to marry you. You don't know a man until you spend time with him. That's why you stuck with him. You know this man already. He sinned, he apologize, forgive him na. What will Jesus do? And you too, forgive yourself. Jesus forgave you a long time ago. Finally, why do we call this thing dowry? It's bride price. I understand men making the mistake. Why do women do too? Please Google the difference again? |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Ikpongiton: 2:42am On Aug 12, 2018 |
no matter the pains,na you still enjoy more than the man |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by graphiti: 2:43am On Aug 12, 2018 |
yvelchstores: smileing: Yes ohhh....just like Aunty Eve, despite Baba God's stern warning, so focused on d forbidden fruit till she took a bite to confirm if God's warning was the truth or fallacy. SMH.
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Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Laple0541(m): 2:46am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Spiricoco......you better marry him before someone else take him, keep forming holy Mary. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Ikpongiton: 2:54am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Orchid45:bad advice |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by dprice(m): 2:56am On Aug 12, 2018 |
lie lie lie all dis advice leave leave run run are all lies sister let me tell you categorically 98% of men will also do the same thing that he did don't mind those sayin report him leave him do you know that marriage is an institution not bundage you said among all coming he is the one you fill at easy with that is more reason you should forgive him and give him another chance it take only a real man to break protocol just to protect or should i say preserve his what he did is not abominable to the level people are makin it to look like he did what 85% of men would have still don i didn't say he is practically right but message i want to pass is that friendship is all about sacrifice and i believe he has tried do you think to court for a year is easy he may have done that not because he has the strengt but to please you so you see one thing i also want to advice you is if you want to build a relationship don't build it by trust alone incorporat understanding |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by yembet(f): 3:01am On Aug 12, 2018 |
In my own opinion, the man didn't rape you. Why did have to be with a man in a private place, to extend, of force you to sleep, with him. You mentioned it, that you love him. Which one to you want us to believe? The main reason why you're angry, is because you lost your virginity, but my dear, you can eat your cake and have it. Loosing of virginity, is not the end of the world. If you love this guy, forgive him, and go ahead and marry him,after all you wll still marry another man. I won't advise you report him, because this will bring more ridicules ,to your personality and your image. You didn't tell your age or the age of the guy. If you're underage, you can take legal action against him. I advised that you don't be alone with any man in private, until you've seen that your relationship, is heading for marriage. Wishing you the best for the future. |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by crafteck(m): 3:03am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing: Its his sin not hers |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 3:11am On Aug 12, 2018 |
moneychannel: Exactly. She wasn't raped or just that the guy deceived her into having sex and now she's feeling remorseful only to change topic to rape. Though false rape accusation laws need to be implemented in this country until then people won't just wake up and start throwing the word 'rape' around anyhow. If she was raped at the initial time why didn't she report to the authorities so that a DNA or foresenic test would've be carried out? A DNA or whatever test doesn't prove anything when you don't report the case at the time it was done. This story is made up |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 3:12am On Aug 12, 2018 |
smileing: Personally I have a lot to say, but I think your mom is the best person to offer advice as she knows you better than everyone here. On behalf of all sane men, though little in number, I apologise, if we where in d same area, I would have put the creep in coma for 5 good days. Really sorry, I just hate rape & despise rapists |
Re: He Forcefully Took My Virginity, Wants Marriage. I'm Hurting. What Should I Do? by Konze70: 3:15am On Aug 12, 2018 |
Judging by what you said you love him ,he's financially ok and educated but the only problem you have is that he is not God fearing and again how to convince your parents . Sister , that he dis virgined you doesn't make him a rapist , it can happen to any man/woman , I understand you are hurt because you only wanted to enjoy sex on your wedding day. However , what I don't understand is this issue of "he's not your husband " by these fake pastors , the so called men of God have done more harm than good in marriages so personally I don't rely on their fake prophecies . You should go on your knees to find out by yourself whether the guy is for you or not. Don't forget your ealier said "you love him" 3 Likes |
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