Feminism has attracted a lot of attention since its existence as a concept. Some of you may already know what it means but with the way at which it is described in mainstream society especially on social media, it is often misconstrued as wholly against men rather than against bad practices meted out to women by the dominant culture (patriarchy) and society in general.

I plead your patience as we do a short take on what feminism is. Feminism is a western concept in theory while I argue that it is not an entirely new concept in Africa as women have practiced it to an extent since time immemorial. It is all about giving women a pride of place in the society both economically and socially. One of the earliest text on Feminism is Simone Beauvoir’s Second Sex and several texts have been written on this subject.

Feminism is a school of thought that sways between the liberal and the radical. The liberal believe in a society where men and women can coexist equally. The radical hates the concept of gender which is premised on the difference between men and women especially in relation to their biological functions.

Feminism has become a hot topic because of the way some women go about it and this is based in their bid to justify their excesses. I am not against feminism and in fact, I think women should be feminist as it is quite alright to fight for your right especially in relation to how you are treated by the general society. Women are faced with a lot of hurdles but often most of the protests are mis-directed. Revolutions happen and of recent we had the metoo# movement in America and other parts of the world where powerful men who have exploited women in diverse ways not limited to economically and sexually have been exposed.

Feminism has come to mean a lot in the present and it has been framed as a battle against men and the culture in general. The recent case of the lady who refused to kneel during her traditional marriage ceremony is a pointer to how women have exploited this concept to a point where it may defy logic and might in fact put a stop to the advances made over the years. Culture is often the question when the discussion shifts to Africa. The emphasis placed on women's purity and modesty is often the target of most campaigners. It is quite instructive to know that some of these cultural practices are eventually helpful to women on the long run. Even in the face of these cultural practices, much have changed in relation to how women carry themselves in public.

My main grouse with feminism is taking this whole concept of equality to marriage. I am pro-marriage in the sense that it is a union between a man and a woman who have chosen to live faithfully together. The view of most “feminist” today is that marriage is one of the major site of women oppression. The idea of submitting to a man is seen as a bad idea. Such women believe that marriage should be based on equal ground. A literal understanding is that women and men go into it, having the same right to decision making.

The fact is men and women in terms of marriage are not equal. The ultimate decision maker and leader in a marriage is the man. Any could dispute the fact especially for those who are currently married or have separated but nature has ordered it that way. You may want to imagine an ideal world but this is reality and the earlier you understand this fact, the better for you as it will guide you in making the right choice of a marriage partner.

And for those “men are scum” crew, not all men are like the ones who have made you go through bad experiences. Many men may have chosen the path of being irresponsible and exploiters but there are good men who are willing to help you grow as a woman. On your part, you should work on those negative qualities that have made men to prey on you.

Back to my argument on men being the leaders. Women often blame ego for men’s decision most times and it is true. A man wants to be respected and submitting to his authority is how far you can go if you are to live and enjoy your marriage. I agree that there are men who do not deserve to be respected especially in relation to their general conduct hence the reason why you should be inquisitive about the man you want to marry before committing. Marriage is built on partnership and no two partnership work the same way. Everyone has an idea of how they should operate hence it is a wise woman who works with her husband according to their arrangement from the outset of the relationship. To round this up, a simple advice for that lady who is understanding enough, marry the man you will not struggle to submit to.

Well said, I doubt if they will hear as feminism don block their ear.

marztar:
Well said, I doubt if they will hear as feminism son block their ear.

I hope they think this through.

Africans, mostly Nigerians and especially nlders misinterpret feminism.

They don't even know the meaning of feminism not to mention the objectives of feminism.

milemimi93:
Africans, mostly Nigerians and especially nlders misinterpret feminism.

They don't even know the meaning of feminism not to mention the objectives of feminism.

Just saw this. you are correct sir.