I read here you have 3 kids already, does he want more in this Economy?

You guys still bleep well, what's his problem?

Quitting your job has nothung to do with the issue. Dont do it as it enhances your sense of worth and could be your fall back if he goes worse.

On the issue, you have apologised and that is OK. If he needs time to come around, give him time. Stop being on the defensive and doing like you killed somebody. You did not. I am sure there are things about his life that he didnt tell you too.

Going forward, be transparent with him and return to ypur normal self...stop being guitly or being the victim.

Ultimately, pray and commit your family ro God. He will restore.

Kinggnicole:


Damn! Why so dumb?

I am not surprised at your advise that the OP should leave the marriage. Trust is hard to build but very easy to lose. She lied to the husband ab initio and that was wrong! I guess you aren't married yet or being mischievous.


Any lady that adds "king" to her name tends to be a feminist. Like "kingtonto". Men are kings and women are queens.

Kinggnicole:

Lol..were you expecting me to give the cliche Nigerian wife "pray that God touches his heart" advice?

I say it again! She has to leave if it gets to that point. From the write up above, her husband is outright disrespectful and obviously doesn't care about her needs and wants. Imagine telling her to stay and take care of the children so that nothing happens to them since she knows she's not fertile. How insensitive!

OP apologise to him again(if you need to because this is an issue of trust and is quite sensitive too) but tell him squarely that you are not quitting your job. Also give him some more time. If he's not budging , you know what to do.

madam u are wrong abeg and u stil talking about leave...if our parents left themselves wen dey had issues 90 percent of us wud hav been from broken homes.. Things where fine before now so definately it can go bck to been normal its jus for d man to forget and may nt happen suddenly buh eventually...dnt always hav dat idea of leave leave wen domestic violence is not involved..marriage is for better for worse

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

Please continue to be calm with him and don't fight/talk back at him, don't neglect your children, you have to combined the welfare of your children and your work and find a way around this so that both are not affected.

Don't quite your job.

If he love his children he has no choice than to allow you keep both, with time everything would calm down, there are many families out there that has witness what is worse than this, thanks.

The thing about losing the trust of someone dear, cos you kept a "serious secret" from them....is that it's never about what you actually did, it's more about the fact that you actually kept it from them, for all the while they knew you, letting their guards down around you.
The big deal to them now will be:
WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE YOU MIGHT BE HIDING ....
WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO THEM WHEN NEXT THEY "STUPIDLY" LET THEIR GUARD DOWN AROUND YOU BY TRUSTING YOU ....
The bad news is there's nothing you'll ever to completely shake-off this thoughts from them. No amount of sacrifice.
It's like the yolk of virginity in women, when it's broken, you may decide to stay celibate for the next 15 years, you may do surgerical procedures, pray about it....YOU CAN'T GET THE ORIGINAL BACK.
Most guys are with the mindset or the deep fear, that there are many secrets or mysteries a woman keeps away from a man, That only unavoidable circumstances brings out, and many more they will never find out if there is no reason to force them out of her....not just guys, so it is same for women too.
THERE IS NEVER ANY ADVANTAGE TO KEEPING SECRETS. you may be enjoying temporal peace while the "cat is still in bag"....but like the process of wine-making, the longer it's kept. The more potent it becomes when it comes out of hiding.

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

This troll that masquerades as a female to say the ugliest things, and give demonic advices, everyone should beware of him. Please go through his posts and understand what I am seeing, he is obviously psychopathic and a narcissist. Its a HE people and not a she, never take him serious!!

Your story really touches the heart, however it's not end of the world thank God for those that have earlier comments and advised you, they have made a wonderful peice of advise, however you have to be strong and be prayerful with God all things are possible the God who made it possible for you to have tripplets is still very much alive and still at performing wonders, yours is even small compare to women who don't even have wombs, and today the are proud mothers, through God's mercy and faithfulness my advice call a general meeting of all your families tell the whole truth, don't hide anything from the whole issue, your husband been a man is taken advantage of this issue knowing fully well you won't have the guts to tell your own immediate family and he's own family so why not spill the bean out of the bag you are like a $50.00 squeezed thrown down smashed by foot on the ground but the fact still remains it's still a $50.00 nothing more nothing less, you still have your self worth we can't blame your husband all that much but he shouldn't take the issue too far, because of his "over centric ego" let him without a sin be the first to cast a stone, when it comes to marriage issue only God is faithful ooo.....don't be cowed you are a proud mother of tripplets for God sake he should tread carefully cos what goes around comes around he could find himself in situation he would need you to cover for him he might not be on partenity issues as this it could be about he's job or financial problems God forbid, so my dear keep your head high knee down ask God for a sincere forgiveness and call your both families haven't done all this stand cos God is faithful for a sincere and broken heart God will not condemned it's well with you.

akiOYIBO:

Yes, u made a mistake and even the worst when u told him the truth cos u could av lied to save ur family. U could av said: honey I went to see the doctor last week and he said I might be in for POF. Why do u have to recount the scenario from onset before ur marriage? U made a mistake but only if u would adhere TO THAT ADVICE I JUST QOUTED. He's taking some advantage emotionally, who knows when he goes physically. U av begged, shown
remorse etc. If u quit that job you're doomed..remember, know when to call the whole thing a quit and stand tall.

Finally someone with a functioning brain. That's the point here. The man is already taking advantage of the situation to abuse her emotionally.

Ok. What has a job got to do with the situation at hand? Have you considered the fact that he has always wanted her to be a stay-at-home wife and he's just taking advantage of the situation to enforce his selfish desires. You know what's worse? He wants to make her feel like it's a penance or something.

Manipulation at its finest.

Mizwisdom:



Oga, Chinese govt made it a must for every family to have just one, they've eased off a bit recently and allowed 2, using your reasoning Chinese govt are little children because they asked citizens to control the number of kids they birth? . anyone who thinks managing 9 kids is the same as raising one is not in touch with reality

Lol... Since when did you become Chinese government

I laugh at some people on nairaland and their feminist advise. Woman you betrayed your husbands trust. And I think he should thank God the effect is not too serious since you have 3 children. Having said That, anyone telling you to disobey your husband is certainly not a Christian for the bible charges you to obey your husband. If he says quit your job, you must quit the job in obedience. But before you do, get someone you know he respects so much to beg him for your betrayal and to keep your job. If the mediator is able to get him to forgive you, he will allow you keep your job. If not, you you have to quit the job. And those telling you to quit your marriage if he insists are misguided. Marriage is for better for worse and till death do u part. Neither you nor your husband can end the marriage based on this development. The last time I checked God has not amended the bible on what He says about marriage. Feminists on nairaland continue with your destructive advise. You will account for your misguided advice at the last day.

OkaNaUbe:


I am not surprised at your advise that the OP should leave the marriage. Trust is hard to build but very easy to lose. She lied to the husband ab initio and that was wrong! I guess you aren't married yet or being mischievous.


Any lady that adds "king" to her name tends to be a feminist. Like "kingtonto".
Men are kings and women are queens.

*rolls eyes* I'm a feminist so
How about you face the subject and leave my moniker alone?

@Kiishii
I fear for this demand from your husband. I do understand that you held back those pieces of information at the time of marriage before of fear couple with doctor uncertainty comment about your condition. Moreso, God has shown you more of His mercy by giving you 2 boys and a girl. You hold Him of your life than to your husband.

My first question is that, has your husband ever been against your work ever before this incident? If yes, you may consider leaving the job. If no, then I wouldn't subscribe to it. The alternative is quit the job and set up a private shop where you can control your time and still have something to call a job. In fact, in case of any unfavourable event, you have a higher probability of getting another job in the shortest possible period of time as you will be resigning based on change in marital Status and care for the family.

To be candid, you have done great well by not holding any information back, according to you, or trying to paint the situation in an innocence way. To acknowledge that you have wrong and seeing your husband's reaction as normal only that he took it too far, is also good. You also have made a great decision on your next line of action by involving your parent (not family) and that of his. No matter the outcome find peace in your heart not to regret being opened and remember that He would gave you a triplet before the final confirmation is always happy with honest and truthful person. He will surely not withhold you better thing if this situation come end in negatively.

With time, prayer, your little efforts, our prayers is that God should sustain and keep this family of your for the prosperity and future of those beautiful and great children He has blessed your family with. Please don't involve (I mean report to) outsider including your religion leaders except the clergy that is involved in joining you together (if exist and available). Your parents and personal prayers to God is so sufficient, I mean more than enough.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried[code][/code] my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

Sometimes there are things better left unsaid.
U opened ur own Pandoras box when u sang d song... Now to ur current problem if he says u shud quit the job give him reasons suggest bringing a younger relative to do d work DAT will be under pay... And then put ur marriage in prayer because this kind of thing will definetly weigh u down.... Bringing anybody into d matter be it families or pastor will make things worst.... Let him be d first to call d inlaws den u just play defense

Honestly speaking if I were u, I will rush to beg him & quit my job immediately since he is fully ready to fit our family bills. After-which I will try all I can to make him happy so I could at least pay for my previous mistake & learn to trust totally in God. U & ur husband can make things works out between urself without any1 interference else if family get to know; u might be in a bigger mess. Pls go on ur knees to ur husband & lobby for peace now b4 it things get out of control. God will see ur hone through IJN, Amen.

Your God is good and has been faithful to you

What happened to you wasn't your fault, but thank God he was there with you as you took in the right time and delivered tripplets unde such situation

My advice goes thus
Don't quit your job for what ever reason, you don't know his plan against you, quiting your job will make you powerless.

You have pleaded enough just keep watching him and be a good wife and mother to him, just don't challenge his authority be more. Committed to your family

When you are with him innitiate love making if he response fine and if he doesn't endure it will get better

You can inform your family of what is happening and they will be aware. You acted the way you did by not telling him because of fear of loosing him, it's normal

He is yet to decised on what to do with you keep watching him and pray over it

Three children are blessings to the family unless he is soo rich and wanted more

The worst he will do is to separate or divorce you, don't be scared of that or what people will say.

You already have those children so what else

Lastly, keep your job in case of incasity

Ensure you tell your husband you are going to take the matter to family members since both of cannot resolve it. Never quit your especially if the can help you feed the kids. By the way, how many kids does he expect a working wife to have? Console your self and get prepared in prayers to single handedly train the children. Asking you to quit your job, is a way of punishing you with fund withheld and to get his own pound of flesh over the secret you denied him.

Can't read through the thread but it Seems like the general notion is that "They have three kids, what more does he want?". Now if you discovered a close one stole something from you what will you first think? Probably all your things that went missing he has been the one stealing it even do that was probably the first time. That is probably the same scenario here, If you can keep something of this Nature away from your life partner what else are you keeping secret? Especially for someone that has been faithful to you. And it isn't as if you suddenly open up, he deduced it through the obvious signs and you had no choice but to open up. That means you are willingly to continue keeping it secret.

Well that aside i don't think quitting your job would advisable. He is probably still emotional from the heartbreak and will hopefully get over it and treasure the kids you both already have. But then again he has every right to be angry or emotional. Telling him immediately after having the triplet would have been your best shot but it's too late now.

extraswag007:
madam, I salute your courage and I'm so happy the odds were in your favour...
But I have some questions for you and I'll appreciate if you'll answer it with all sincerity.

How will you feel if you've successfully married him before finding out he's not fertile?
I'm sure you'll easily get over it and continue living your life right?

Would you have told your husband this whole thing if the gamble hasn't worked in your favor?

Would you have told him the whole epistle if he hasn't been aware of the fact that you've stopped seeing your monthly flow?

Truth is you have every opportunity to tell him, if not before the marriage, then after you had your triplet...
Deceit in relationship is so painful and sometimes sorry ain't enough...

I do not in anyway support you quitting your job since you've been able to discharge your duty as a mother and a wife before you let the cat out of the bag, and don't in anyway give a second thought to all those who is asking you to leave him.

I hope you find the answers you seek and the peace in your home restored...
God bless your triplet with Long life and good health
May the odds forever be in your favor.
Godspeed and good luck to you.

The most brilliant comment on this topic of discus!
A super recommendation for OP
Over-Sense will not kill you!

The day you stop apologizing is the day he will forgive you.Emotional blackmail doesn't get to me.Like one who told me two captains can't man a ship.Lol,make I first see ship na before we go decide who will captain it


Nothing will happen madam,oga is acting out.Be strong.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

Shatap diaaa...

If u could actually take ur time to scroll through these pages, u will notice that most people like comments that advice you to disobey ur husband or leave your matrimonial home. Never seek advice from outsiders, dem go push u comot from ur husband house.
How do u expect him to forgive u easily, when u built the whole marriage circle with lies and deceit. Can u for ones put urself in his shoes, imagine him being impotent coming into ur union.... With a slim hope of getting u pregnant and it fails, will u forgive him easily. This things takes time, and believe me.... Ur no different from a devil itself, cause u wanted to ruined his entire existence. Seek continuous forgiveness from him and God, and seek help from people he respects.

skarlett:



In 2018 somebody cannot be satisfied with three kids

Is he expecting her to produce eight children or what? Misplaced priority, that man is so childish and I hope never to end up with his likes

My goodness. This has nothing to do with kids. It has everything to do with deception.

The man would be like so, if not that God just helped them, na so the woman for deceive him into marriage and they will be running up and down for kids..

pls, if na ur brother be that man, u sef go feel angry biko.

CSTR1005:


Dont worry.
He will marry another woman that will take such stress.

If you don't like it, the door is open. But leave his kids behind.

He can marry another woman but am taking my children along with me.

No two ways about it

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Silence is golden

[quote author=Xaos post=71173936]I don't want to say anything hurtful but I have to. Ma'am your husband is being a jerk. You guys are bless with three beautiful kids - is there anything greater than this?! Yes, you gambled. It's a wicked thing but it's in the past and it worked BTW. So he need to grow up and forgive you. Just carry on and tell your in-laws. All will be well.[/quot8e]

Your advice for her to let the in-laws know is ok but the name calling is very wrong. You don't know him neither do you know his dislikes or how pissed off he is right now so give your advice and leave out the abuse. Thank you.

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Are you for real? Is it all that you can come up with from that your empty skull? I really pity your kind because I believe people of your kind if you were to be in the woman's shoe you will have probably done the worse, is pof a disease? I believe people like you might be HIV positive but still lure your partners in to marrying you. Do you think if she had wanted keeping the secret from him for life she would not have done that? That she kept the secret from him does not in anyway means she meant to wicked him but because of the fear of losing him and it couple with the fact that the doctor has assured her of the chances of getting pregnant which God has made it possible. Someone like me I will even be grateful to God for that because with the three kids I probably would have been looking for a way to go for family planning and God has made it natural. The young lady came to the forum with her problem looking for a profound solutions and if you don't have anything reasonable to say just sit down and be reading comments of those who will help her with solutions to fix her marriage. By the way how does her quitting the job in anyway make the home any better or guaranteed the safety of the children? The man was probably looking for a way to frustrate the young lady because I believe 99% of the ladies would have probably do same if not worse. If the husband is suspecting the woman of infidelity that made him to call for her quitting her job it would have been understandable. In conclusion the man is not just matured enough to marry QED.

you guys won't kill me.

Donjazzy12:

A lesbian tactfully nudging her to leave, so when she becomes lonely, she can swoop in and start sleeping with her. If you know, you know!

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

Talk to his parents especially the one he listens to and obeys very well. Don't put it like you are reporting him to them but for them to help save your marriage, tell them ur initial fears dat made you not to tell him and how sorry you are now. I believe they would understand your plight.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

girls will never change, you're just a wicked soul....i hope he marries anoda wife. You should have given him the chance to love u and your faults... you denied him truelove, you planned it and you're only sorry he brilliantly caught u in your scamming act. fork u.

Do not mind those that are advising you to leave o. See let me tell you, under cannon law and any other law, deceit is enough reason to terminate a marriage. You deceived your husband and he is angry with you, do not think because you have told him sorry severally the anger will just go like that. Just like somebody mentioned earlier he might been thinking what if your gambit did not work? That is how you will drag him into a life of unhappiness for something he is unaware of, so this is enough reason for him to brood for a long time. However note that he still loves you and that is why he still makes love to you, even if he does not look at your face it doesn't matter he will come around.
Now this is what I think you should do. You need to continue begging him. Not with arrogance but with total submission. Men like it when women are submissive so when you beg him in the African way, that is cook his special meal, watch him eat, pet him. Go down on your knees and beg him even of it involves you crying blood. Tell him how sorry you are and let him know that it was because you loved him and don't want to lose him you kept it away from him but you have realized how wrong you were. Then for the issue of quitting your job, tell him to give you six months to try and arrange yourself and that you cannot quit your job and become idle and just be taking care of the children. That you want to use that period to think of what to do that will be less tasking. Let him know that although it is not your desire to quit but since that is what he wants then you are ready to do it on the condition that he puts this whole thing behind him. If he agrees then look for a business or something you can do that will fetch you money but please don't stay idle and be a full time housewife. Continue to beg him for as long as you can and never fail to let him know how sorry you are about what you did at any given opportunity. He will definitely come around when you do all that, except his heart is made of stone. Above all pray to God for directions. Do not take this to any pastor or anybody for that matter, it has not gotten to that. I believe you guys can resolve this, however if you must, then talk to his father, that is the one man that can call him to order if you have him on your side. I wish you all the best and pray for the success of your marriage. Stay blessed.

The reason for your concern is because your job is important than your home and I feel that it is a decision that u should av been thinking about b4 he made it for u after having a triplet for that matter even twins is not easy with job added. I will advise that you look for something else to do like business that u can manage while d children are in school and be home while they are back. This is not a battle that u can win bcoz u started it. From your statement, I don't think the man is not financially OK to take care of u all, Plz make it work so that another woman don't end up nursing the children for u