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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband (80268 Views)
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Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Kinggnicole(f): 8:56am On Sep 14, 2018 |
akinsmyk: Ok. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by omicpet(m): 8:57am On Sep 14, 2018 |
We need to understand the husband's emotional trail after the dear wife hit him with the truth Here are the phases your husband has had to go through Stage 1:Disorientation: his intuition and watchfulness forced out the truth from you. That truth woulda hit him in the balls for a moment and left him disoriented. Denial: this stage is a " This can’t be happening to me!) married you, he's attentive to everything about you hence why he noticed the pad ish . definitely he loves you. So the truth to him and the realisation you've kept such secret from him leads him to stage 3 Disbelief: here were his thoughts ( how could you keep such from him, what other secrets have you been keeping from him , thought we had the perfect marriage?.) coupled with the fact that he had to confront you to get the truth. Conclusion : he's lost faith in you and everything about u( believe me that's worse off) NXT stage is the response: how he reacted to the news , he left the house , it's a normal basic reaction to either fight or flight something responsible for a hurt . am glad he left the house to return after a day , he's prob had million thoughts as to why he should stay away from you . and then there in comes Grief deep sense of loss and betrayal. Few people know how to deal with this . for a while he'll be blind sided by the pain , hurt and betrayal to all good virtues and every other great thing around him where you're concerned. This leads him to loss of faith, respect for you and security around you . This ushers in the next stage where he wants the pain to go away. It'll take a great deal of affection for everything he's got for you and discipline from him not to spiral into a social vice as a source of relief And now the punishment abi na revenge stage I believe that's where he's at, the fact that he's here means he getting to closure . hes angry, he wants his own pound of flesh . here he needs to figure out exacting punishment on you won't heal him but total forgiveness would . if he's prob having a hard time to arrive there help him get there , belief me what hurts a man most is hurting someone he loves, let him see you hurt too by his failure not to forgive you. Be hurt as remorseful . he'll naturally pull back to you . Apologies for the lengthy post but to solve a problem you really need to understand it. So madam do not quit your job. All he needs most from you now is assurance that you're willing to get things back to better than they were before and youd never betray his trust . you will have to work hard at it. MY FOOLISH POUND 5 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by UjuJoan2: 8:59am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Give him time. You betrayed him and gambled with his future, not just yours. He is hurt and angry . . . But he will get over it. He should be thankful that you even have kids at all. Some women don't have POF and yet are unable to have kids. Some have kids and are praying for either male ot female gender. You have BOTH! He needs to look on the bright side. Meanwhile do not live your life I fear. How can he be talking about something happening to the kids? Please do not entertain such comments. The devil works through our fears. Do not quit your job. Let him find a way to work out his anger without taking it out on your job. 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by ephraim18(m): 9:01am On Sep 14, 2018 |
u already had 3 kids for him and his treating u with such disrespect. both men and women made mistake urs is not exceptional. but pls and pls dont quit ur job no matter the pressure from him tell him squarely that u cant quit ok and plead him genuine to forgive u. and if his still adamant to ur pleas don't hesitate to tell ur parents to handle it as a family issue. be strong ok God is ur strengt |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by rodrirodri(m): 9:02am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Thought pof is PLENTY OF FISH |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by eyinjuege: 9:05am On Sep 14, 2018 |
babyfaceafrica: I know she was dishonest. But the quote I mentioned asked what would be the response if it was the man, and I answered what people would have told the wife. Nobody would have supported the man quitting his job, or even understood the woman's grouse if the husband had lied, and they were still able to have children. They would have asked what more the wife wanted after 3 kids. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Lekbless: 9:07am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Madam, I am going to advise you on two things - don't quit your job and don't think of leaving your husband. Be submissive to him and let him understand that you can be working and still take good care of your kids (pls, be sincere with it) and most importantly, pray to God to let you see the loving face of your husband again. It is well. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Illumia: 9:13am On Sep 14, 2018 |
my dear, dont even think of quitting your job... he should be happy God blessed you with triplets and stop sulking like a baby...if you didnt tell him the truth, he wouldnt have known it was an impending issue in the first place... what if you quit your job and then he divorces you? How would you cope? you say he barely talks to you right? how would you ask him for money when you need some? the worse thing to happen to anybody is being a financial slave.... he should act more maturedly and thank God for having a woman with 3 lovely kids and a conscience as a wife. 2 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by esbjaygmailco(m): 9:13am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kinggnicole: Home braker |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by boyjo: 9:14am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kiishii I don`t think you should quit your job. Why? Because I feel your husband may want to punish you by withholding money from you in the future. But, I don`t think you should be stubborn about it. Try to kindly win him to your side by trying to allay his fears of death of your children. Send him Scriptures of long life for your family okay. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Juliearth(f): 9:14am On Sep 14, 2018 |
anochuko01: You are right, I rest my case. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Eberex(m): 9:15am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22:
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Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by dada2013: 9:25am On Sep 14, 2018 |
My dear sister, you are one of those lucky ones. Just imagine if you were unable to give birth Atall what would have been your faith in that house. God gave you three kids still your husband still complain it's an apology. My advice to you is that do not quit your job for anything be strong and take whatever comes your way as your cross. You are a winner 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Allansmith: 9:29am On Sep 14, 2018 |
First,I wont advice you quit your Job and then don't involve your Parents yet.....Stick to pleading with him for now and show him how remorse about the whole thing...Try also not to have the kids knowing about this or hearing anything and I know someday and soon,He would come to terms with you. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Nobody: 9:31am On Sep 14, 2018 |
When a man loves a woman this shouldn't be something to bring about abusing or calling her names.... Well different ppl different understanding |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by SouthendOnSea(m): 9:35am On Sep 14, 2018 |
I strongly believe in Prayer (James 5:16), confess your sins, ask for forgiveness and continually ask God for his Mercy and believe that he'll do it! (Proverbs 21:1), It's only God that can minister to your husband!! I will advise that you do NOT get the parents involved (for now). 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by CSTR1005: 9:40am On Sep 14, 2018 |
victorian:No responsible man will allow you to take his children away. If you steal them away, he will hunt you down. You can leave since you don't like stress, but not with the children. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Allansmith: 9:40am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Hmmmmm,but na wa for o,This is only the case of a Woman sharing her issue and you have carried a trailer load of Tornado nails to nail her...Na wa...People are funny. Wilfredpat22: |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Nobody: 9:45am On Sep 14, 2018 |
stuffs4me: Married man, I hope to never end up with your kind! She was wrong and she's apologized but telling her to quit her job so she can look after the kids doesn't make sense. Its not her fault that she has POF, its nature and God was so good to give them triplets. He should focus on that instead of the what ifs. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Avraham: 9:45am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kinggnicole:Sorry o I am not really into confronting people online but you post made my body somehow. No vex |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Nobody: 9:49am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Princedapace: Your anger should have a limit! The thing that happened to her wasn't her fault but the most important thing is, they have children now, that erases what ifs, what would have beens etc. He should forgive her but not ask her to quit her job so she can look after the kids. That's very harsh and uncalled for |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by surveyorchimez(m): 9:49am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Alexk2:I think I will go with this... |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by NosaHenry(m): 9:50am On Sep 14, 2018 |
God knew the challenge before you, that is why He blessed you before hand. i think this is a miracle you and your husband should go to church to celebrate and not the other way round. Note that your job is your lifeline, please don't loose it. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Nwabundo38(f): 9:51am On Sep 14, 2018 |
DON'T EVER QUIT YOUR JOB. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by rossyc(f): 9:54am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22:Haba! can't believe this is coming from a Lady, that's so insensitive of you. If you must know everyone has his or her time. Not every woman gets married before they clock 30 besides was she meant to say yes to just Anyone that comes her way because she wants to be addressed as Mrs? What has dating married men have to do with this? Besides she has three kids, who gives birth to more than 3kids presently. Please be reasonable before passing your judgement. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Rozaytee: 9:56am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Homeboiy:Ode it has nothing to do with early marriage... big time olodo! |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Rozaytee: 9:59am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22:u are a big time Ode confam...okponu, oloriburuku.... mumu..y are u accusing her... do u know Wat she is passing through... goat! |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Myself2(m): 10:01am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kinggnicole: Leave the marriage ?? Hope you are not a home breaker |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Princedapace(m): 10:03am On Sep 14, 2018 |
skarlett: she is selfish.. For every action u take in life, be ready to pay the price.. She deceived him.. And for deceiving him, she should be ready to pay any price for that. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Nobody: 10:05am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Princedapace: He should kuku kill her so she can pay the ultimate price Nonsense and paradise |
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