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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Had An Affair!! (9696 Views)
I Have Been Having An Affair With My Elder Brother's Wife – Nigerian Man Reveals / Bob-manuel Don-christian: 'My Wife Had A Son For Another Man' / My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? (2) (3) (4)
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My Wife Had An Affair!! by Taylor430: 1:34pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
This is going to be a long write up but I need help from a matured outsider. Today is Friday and I'm off work today. I wanted to spend time with my wife and daughter. I married my wife 3 years ago and we have been dating since 2008. We have a beautiful daughter who is 3 years old. I used to think I have it all. A young man who is 25 with a house of his own in Lekki. Two cars one for me and one for her. What else could a woman want! She used to be my motivation to work hard. I wanted her to have it all. When I held my daughter in 2015. OMG!! It was the happiest day of my life. I said to myself life can't be better than what I'm currently experiencing. I have found my wife texting dudes and trust me she is a very smart woman. Stay at home mum, so she can always be there for our daughters needs. My wife and I had this issue with a pharmacist in our estate a couple of months ago. They were always texting. Remember I said she was smart. They chat on whatsapp and she always deleted their chat. I couldn't get anything but I knew something was off. I logged on to her whatsapp on my laptop so I could see the chats before they get deleted. She called him pet names and I was so mad. This guy looks at me in the eye whenever I go get prescriptions for my wife, daughter and I. I told her what I did to her whatsapp and I was impatient. I let the cat out of the bag before I could get anything. She denied ever having an affair and she was mad at me. I apologized. We went for a family vacation in Paris. It was my way of apologizing to her. Fast forward to today. This unfortunate morning! I told her I would love us to go on a date tonight and she agreed. She is a serving corper. She told me she had an issue with her file and she wanted to sort it out. I knew something was off. I had her iPhone set up on my computer so I could know where exactly she would be. The tracker on her phone stopped and the location was a nearby hotel just outside the estate. My head was spinning and I was thinking in my head. Do I really want to do this. Do I want to catch her in the act. It's going to change everything I thought. I waited from 10am at the hotel, she left home by 9AM and I waited at the reception. I texted her where she was and if they are attending to her. She replied told me everything is being sorted. Not knowing I was waiting downstairs while she was having sex with another man. The receptionist didn't want me just sitting at their waiting room and asked me to leave. I told her I was waiting for someone and I paid for a room. I told her I'm waiting for some colleagues and I will only leave the waiting room when my guest arrives. She accepted. I have already paid *smiles* She texted me by 12 that she was on her way home and I replied Ok. She met me at the hall. I looked at my wife and she saw me waiting. I didn't create a scene. I just wanted her to know that I saw her. I drove home and she called me crying if she could come home I told her why not. She sat across me and I was tough on her. I told her to tell me the truth or else she would see the beast in me. She confessed they have been meeting for a month now and had sex twice at the hotel. My heartbeat dropped. I thought I was having a heart attack. What else could I have done differently I asked myself. Where did I go wrong? I don't know what to do. I know for a fact I can never be married to her. This marriage is over. We have been together for since 2008 and I'm just finding out now. My daughter will be a result of separated parents. My worst nightmare. When you catch someone cheating or telling lies. They don't change they only become smarter at getting caught. I don't think I can ever forgive her. She has to go. I need help!! I can't tell my parent. My mom loves her and they talk more than we do. I can't tell her parents they treat me like their child. Please help!! Matured minds only!! 17 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by thorpido(m): 1:43pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
So sad. However as a guy,you've got to KNOW the girl you are dating before marriage.Most guys see a fine girl and want her immediately.Beauty is vain.Most guys think if I spend money on her she will stick to me.Not exactly true. Well,you have an option to forgive her and make the marriage work or you both go separate ways. You will have to let your parents know eventually. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by GoldenJAT(m): 1:48pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Fucking tell both parents and move on with your life!! It hurt no doubt, But somehow... U gotta move on!! Let ur strength lie in the fact that u loved, cherished and cared for her. Ain't no fault of urs. She LOST, AND WILL EVER REMAIN A LOSER. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by eyeview: 1:54pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
How old is she? |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by carzola(m): 2:02pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Make sure her family returns The bride price you paid And make sure she leaves your house With nothing take custody of your girl So you can raise her up well 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by slimjohn2k5: 2:05pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Idle wife, cheat will always cheat, expose the cheat, conquer your fears about your kid and separate. like you said she will be smarter if forgiven, funny enough u will still catch her again. have u seeing a robber that got old, they must be caught and killed or they resign. cheating does not have resignation my brother. do u want to live your life without trust, you will die young. expose and dish her and move on 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by tabithababy(f): 2:08pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Na wa o ![]() Forgive her, Pray and fast for her, start dressing seductively, give her monkey in snake shadow ![]() 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by sisisioge: 2:19pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Jisos! So sorry to read this. Very tough situation here! Hmmmm...ignorance, they say is blish. I wish you never opted to catch her ![]() So sorry once again. May God help you and your daughter during this trying time. 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Eberechi24(f): 2:22pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
I don't know what to say but accept my condolence |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Uchenaija: 2:42pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Only the fear of God can save any marriage. Until we accept that, we'd continue to have increasing rate of broken homes, single parenthood, divorce, adultery & dissatisfaction in marriage. True love has no fear. True love only comes from God. You can't monitor someone 24/7 days to be loyal to you. If you want to keep your marriage, put the fear of God inside. If you can't handle the betrayal, divorce & get married to someone else. You're far too young and kind hearted for this plight. Though the challenges of marriage are the same no matter who you pick. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Iamicekid(m): 2:48pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Boss you are Grown on and matured enough to careless about what people will think or say do what you feel comfortable doing without think who it will affect or not.. if you say you want to stay in that marriage bro you are only digging your early grave bro, cause with the look of things your wife only married you for your potentials facts be told... And please do a DNA test for your daughter I have a feeling this is not her first time of cheating on you it’s just the first time you found out 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by eyinjuege: 2:56pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
You're not serious . Why are you confused again? This is a very simple sturvs Thank God you've made up your mind to end the marriage. The next step is to tell your parents, because I'm very sure they followed you to go and pay bride price. Let them know, and I'm sure there won't be a going back. As you said earlier, there is usually no going back for cheats. They only get smarter. She seems to still be a learner, hence she was caught. To live with such people, just know you have to be 5 steps ahead of them always, but for how long will you be a monitoring spirit because your partner is always sharing the cookie? 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by miib: 3:03pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
You are confused to decide whether you should discard her or not! Why won't you when u have discarded loving girls with a promising tomorrow for an endowed girl (big hips, beautiful face and big fronts). All that glitters is not gold my brother. Na your cross, carry am. Pele, accept my condolences!! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by janefarms2015: 3:11pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
@OP, I can understand what you are going through now just relax, no problems without a solution. My advice: Firstly and as a matter of urgency take your daughter for DNA test, if the result proves you are the biological father then take her to your parents or sisters to live with them for proper upbringing and if the results shows otherwise.......you know what to do. About your wife, firstly, 95 percent of Nigerian women are promiscuous, and not loyal to a man in relationship or marriage and a Yoruba proverbs literarily translate that "any married woman that engages in extra marital affairs is a potential death threat to the husband". Forget about the future of your daughter if your marriage is broken she will still get good up bringing, God forbid what if your wife died, will your daughter not survive? while im not asking you to divorce your wife as the choice is totally yours, ponder on these questions: 1. What is the probability that she wont continue with her adulterous life in a coded way that you will never discover,if you forgive her? 2. Dont you think your life is in danger continue living with such a woman? 3. No matter what, as a human can you ever totally erase this memory from your mind to avoid giving yourself unnecessary psychological torment of your brain even if you for give her? My brother, dont take any decision that will break you down again in the future, agreed, you are definitely going through a lot now that if care is not taking may affect your performances at work. Take a bold decision NOW! I bet, you wont regret, for now dont ever think much about this issue, life is too short to die earlier! Go out, confide in a trusted friend preferably and old woman, tell her all the truth, take hearth brother, you are not the first man, neither the second to experience this nor will you be the last man to do so. 21 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by WeJCKs(m): 3:18pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
most stay at home wives/ idle wives usually have a guy online they chat dirty with and they might end up having sex with them continuously. 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Akorkor(f): 3:22pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Okay, i think this should be my first time to comment in family section. I feel your pain and i cant imagine what you are going through. Yes, she cheated on you and its so sad that i see men and women cheat on each other. So what if you divorced or separated from her and marry another woman and the other woman follow same path? So what would happen? Dish her again. This is the world we are in now and it so sad that many people are following the wrong path in live. Cheating is a serious thing!!! Let me ask you, what if you are the one that your wife caught, would you want her to seperate from you? Yes, we all know that there is an adage in Yoruba culture which says " woman that engages in extra marital affairs is a threat to the husband" but are men not threat to the women also. My advice to you is: Think it through. Has she behaved like this during relationship before? If she hasnt then: 1. Let this issue be revelead to your inlaws 2. If you still have a space in your heart to forgive, please do and go for counselling. Professional ones not even church counselling this time 3. I think there may be some gaps in your relationship. 4. Also, you may let her be busy. An idle hand is always a devil workshop. Marriage is not easy. An institution you can never get a certificate but i pray God will make it easy for all of us DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION!! 10 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Kinggnicole(f): 3:40pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
![]() tabithababy: 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Eketem: 3:48pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Just here to see the male hypocrites telling him to divorce, if a woman caught her husband cheating you will be saying she should forgive him that it rains everywhere that all men cheat and divorce is a sin. Smh 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by CAPSLOCKED: 3:53pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
PRAY TO THE LORD FOR THE SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS, AND TO CAST AWAY THE SPIRIT OF CHEATING FROM HER, AND MAKE HER A LOYAL WIFE. THEN REPACKAGE YOURSELF. MAYBE YOU'VE LOST YOUR SEXINESS AND SHAPE. GIVE HER MORE MONEY, ATTENTION, AND SEX. HOPEFULLY YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE BETTER HENCEFORTH. CHEERS. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Akorkor(f): 3:57pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Eketem: God bless you 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Oyindidi(f): 4:01pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
CAPSLOCKED:Be serious 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by presentley: 4:04pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
tabithababy:are you normal? 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Femsyn(m): 4:20pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
OK. Why do I have a feeling this whole story will change soon as your wife's side of the story is heard? You're 25. Dated since 2008. Married 2015. Had a baby girl in 2015. A little mathematics shows you got married at 22. Started dating while you were 15. Wife is, I assume, younger, since she's just serving. It also shows that perhaps, pregnancy prompted the wedding in 2015. From your writeup, I sense you feel she's an ingrate despite the financial assurance you provide. What do I see? I see a bored young lady who seem caged and wants to be set loose!!! 23 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 4:22pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
OMG!!! |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Evangkatsoulis: 4:22pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Eketem: Someone else's semen was deposited into his wife! 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 4:24pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Hmmm....This one weak me o.. Well done, Op...You're a real man! I'll say you should think through this rationally.... You'll be right if you demand to be separated from your wife and also, there's nothing wrong with still having her under your roof....but, your parents and in-laws should get the full details... I am not a fan of DIVORCE...but my take is that at this point, it will be wise to get the counsel of elders and possibly, a trustworthy Counselor (could be a clergy person or an experienced professional)... Decision wise, you'll have to consider raising your daughter in a toxic-free environment where she can grow as a normal kid. Your wife may have initiated a break to your marriage bond but she needs your forgiveness too. Finally, you need time...more time...all the time...to make the best decision on this issue. As you decide, ensure that your child's future and your happiness are top on your priority list. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Eketem: 4:24pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Evangkatsoulis: And so? The married men who go about depositing semen in other women nko? 14 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Evangkatsoulis: 4:26pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Eketem: Big difference. |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Uyi168: 5:20pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Akorkor:DIVORCE IS THE ONLY OPTION!! 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by SarakiBukola: 6:57pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
I don't know why i feel this story is fake.... If true. .DIVORCE ! It's extremely hard for a man to forgive the sin of cheating though Men are experts at it 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Nobody: 7:20pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Good man, the part i like most in all you wrote is “she has to go”, that is exactly what has to happen. One need not try to paint it differently. However I am utterly gutted by her betrayal, it goes to show that we as men really do not know what women want, give her heaven on earth but for one moment of insanity she could mess it all up with someone who isnt even worth it. Pull urself together bro, trust me it hurts but you gonna heal, you deserve a happiness not sorrow and misery. Tell your mom about it, She needs to know and stand firm by your decision. Do not be coerced into taking her back. DONT! Not for anything. Put all your love into your daugther and be a good dad. Shes your joy and happiness. Now enjoy your life, for me marriage is overrated anyways. Taylor430: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Had An Affair!! by Deman05(m): 7:44pm On Sep 14, 2018 |
Forgive her, cover her sins and you both should build your faith in God more stronger....for me, that's the only true but painful way. 4 Likes |
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