Elnathan John captures the re occurring discussion we have had on Househelps and the consistent arguements of those who continue to defend modern day child slavery in a witty by honest manner. Please enjoy

God is faithful. He has blessed your hustle with a husband. You began by going out of your way to show you were a dutiful Nigerian wife- cooking, cleaning and never saying no to your husband. God will meet you at the point of your needs and bless you for this. However, something is happening to you. Tiredness is setting in. You feel nauseous and irritated. The doctor has told you that you are having a baby. This has never happened to you before. (The one that happened in university doesn’t count- anyone who reminds you of this, God will truncate their hustle.) You and your husband agree that you cannot keep up with the house work with this growing human mass in your tummy. It is time for a house help. Your husband has left you to take care of it.

You have many choices. There is the choice of one of those Gbagyi or other minority Northern young girls who have been trained to work like horses, want little and show gratitude for whatever they receive. The girl may have thinning brown hair from lack of nutrition and may look stunted at 12 but trust me she knows how to fetch water, wash piles of clothes and sweep endlessly.

You also have the choice of taking the 11year old out-of-wedlock daughter of that distant cousin whom you have never met in your village in Umunede. You had heard that a boy got her pregnant at 14 and ran away thereafter. Since then the daughter has suffered stigma and neglect as well as blocked any chances of your cousin getting a husband. Those village people can be unforgiving.

There is that aunt in the village who promised you someone to help when you came for your traditional marriage in the village. You turned down the offer then. Now is the time to call that aunt and tell her that the housework will kill you soon. She will laugh on the other end of the line and tell you not to worry. You will remind her that you don’t want a boy o! Boys are hard to control. ‘I have heard,’ she will say and in one or two weeks you will receive your package of an awkward prepubescent girl.

Then there is the international connection- the Benin Republic kids. Someone has told you of these young kids from Benin Republic whose salary you will pay to a man who will claim to be their Uncle or cousin.

You do not need a person of legal age, an adult who will one day kill you all in your sleep, run away with your children or worse, snatch your husband from you. Anyone who quotes the Child’s Right Act, and calls employing anyone under the legal age, child labour, God will give them paralysis of the mouth. How else do they want you to get the house work done?

When the young girl comes, first thing to do is to test her for hepatitis and other infections. You don’t want her bringing diseases into your healthy home. If you must, go to the second hand store and buy her two old dresses. If you don’t have boys quarters, clear out the store so she can sleep there. Otherwise get an old mattress that she will use somewhere in a corner of the living room.

You need to cut her hair. It is better. Both of you should not be struggling to groom your hair. Anything a small comb can’t do must go. The more unattractive she looks, the better for you and your marriage. You can’t trust men these days. No one is too young for them.

There is no need to waste money sending her to school. It is not your fault that her parents can’t afford to. In fact she should be grateful that you are giving her a rare opportunity to come to the city and make some money. If she spends all her time at school, when will she do the house work? But if you absolutely have to, find a cheap school, maybe one with evening classes she can attend. Something simple that won’t confuse her about her station in life.

Discipline: Very important. Sometimes screaming degrading insults is not enough to put an ungrateful, sloppy house help in line. The phrase “spare the rod and spoil the child” necessarily includes house helps. Sometimes they get too comfortable. Sometimes they are possessed. Only a healthy dose of flogging can rid them of evil spirits or too much comfort.

Watch the food she eats. Especially the meat. Nothing makes a house help grow wings like sufficient pieces of meat. Meat has a way of creating a sense of entitlement in a person. You don’t want that to happen.

Don’t make the mistake of allowing the house help have friends. Whether with the house help next door or with the one in the shop down the street or the one grinding tomatoes near the market. She did not come to your house to play and network. Next thing you know they will connive and do something evil to you.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there comes a time when you must let the house help go. Instances include when you notice that she has become a woman and is almost needing the same bra size as you. Like I said before, men cannot be trusted. They see breasts and they lose their minds. You need to be proactive and protect your husband from himself. Send her away and look for another prepubescent one to take her place.

Do not go looking for answers where you have no business looking. If the man who brought a girl from Benin Republic says he is her Uncle, then he is her Uncle. If he says he will hold her salary for her, then he will. The less you know the better.

Do these and God will, through your house help, lighten your load, and bless your hustle.

http://dailytimes.com.ng/opinion/how-get-house-help-nigeria#.UG1ZQv6_4AA.facebook

D shidiot dat wrote dis article (am not referin to poster) is a very stewwwpiiid woman,if she is yoruba she will know dat eru ni baba ona lo jin,thank God young pre adolescent girls are becomin more educated and would rather engage in prostitution and be found in d brothels than in d house of one bossy,lazy,domineering and overbearing woman.gone are d days where u will pick anychild from anywhere and turn her into ur house slave and dispose her off when shes grown.u beta look for an elderly woman to help u with ur chores or fix dem urself.thank God for ngos dat protect d rights of innocent young girls and enlighten them from exploitative irritating women like dis dat their lives revolve around s,ex.mshewwwww

Madam Calm down he was being sacrastic, if you follow his writtings he makes fun of nigerians and the way we do somethings in this manner.
He didn't mean for you to take it serious. Read between the lines

kulyie: D shidiot dat wrote dis article (am not referin to poster) is a very stewwwpiiid woman,if she is yoruba she will know dat eru ni baba ona lo jin,thank God young pre adolescent girls are becomin more educated and would rather engage in prostitution and be found in d brothels than in d house of one bossy,lazy,domineering and overbearing woman.gone are d days where u will pick anychild from anywhere and turn her into ur house slave and dispose her off when shes grown.u beta look for an elderly woman to help u with ur chores or fix dem urself.thank God for ngos dat protect d rights of innocent young girls and enlighten them from exploitative irritating women like dis dat their lives revolve around s,ex.mshewwwww

Lols, the writer was being sarcastic, nothing to get all worked up over.

This is why I said Nigerian women in Nigeria are becoming lazier by the year. The average Nigerian woman living in Nigeria does not have near the same schedule or amount of work her counterparts in America, or much of the western world can boast of, yet your lazy Nigerian woman wakes up each day justified that having so many child slaves is essential to her continuance, and status as good 'house wife'.

Yes, for their status, Child Slavery must be allowed to continue.

He was just being funny and wants you to think. See another of his article below.

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/09/how-to-show-nigerian-love-elnathan-john.html

Kobojunkie: . . . The average Nigerian woman living in Nigeria does not have near the same schedule or amount of work her counterparts in America, or much of the western world can boast of . . .

And this conclusion is based on what research

Ujujoan:

And this conclusion is based on what research

Heheheeee, You missed the great debate, Kobos mum raise a bunch of kids and did it all on her own so every other Nigerian woman who doesnt do same is lazy.
Forget about some who "claim" to employ older women and pay above minimum wage, according to Kobos research we are liars and all lazy.
Haba long debate, we don finish tay tay.

debrief08:
Heheheeee, You missed the great debate, Kobos mum raise a bunch of kids and did it all on her own so every other Nigerian woman who doesnt do same is lazy.
Forget about some who "claim" to employ older women and pay above minimum wage, according to Kobos research we are liars and all lazy.
Haba long debate, we don finish tay tay.

I see lying is your latest gig?

Ewoooooooooooooooooo, Chineke, Somebody helep me find that thread or at least tell me the title, hehehehheeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Lie ke/ The debate went on for ever till a few of us agreed to being "happily lazy" abeg where are my fellow "lazy women" them say na lie i talk oh

Kobojunkie:

I see lying is your latest gig?

debrief08:
Heheheeee, You missed the great debate, Kobos mum raise a bunch of kids and did it all on her own so every other Nigerian woman who doesnt do same is lazy.
Forget about some who "claim" to employ older women and pay above minimum wage, according to Kobos research we are liars and all lazy.
Haba long debate, we don finish tay tay.

Lmao

debrief08: Ewoooooooooooooooooo, Chineke, Somebody helep me find that thread or at least tell me the title, hehehehheeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Lie ke/ The debate went on for ever till a few of us agreed to being "happily lazy" abeg where are my fellow "lazy women" them say na lie i talk oh

I dare you to find that thread and show exactly where I made the very claims you accuse me of here. If you have a problem with a different point of view, make your issues known and try to do a good job arguing your side. Not twist what was said into something else.

Back to this thread . . .

Kobojunkie: This is why I said Nigerian women in Nigeria are becoming lazier by the year. The average Nigerian woman living in Nigeria does not have near the same schedule or amount of work her counterparts in America, or much of the western world can boast of, yet your lazy Nigerian woman wakes up each day justified that having so many child slaves is essential to her continuance, and status as good 'house wife'.

Yes, for their status, Child Slavery must be allowed to continue.

Kobojunkie: Back to this thread . . .

Maybe if made fewer bogus claims, people won't have to mis understand you so often . . . . Just saying!

Chineke Thank you for google
https://www.nairaland.com/1032349/live-in-maids-vs-non-live-in-housekeepers/2#11996056

O . .. k! I remember that thread. He (I still find it difficult to beleive he's a man) kept blabbing and blabbing. Made absolutely NO sense!

debrief08: Chineke Thank you for google
https://www.nairaland.com/1032349/live-in-maids-vs-non-live-in-housekeepers/2#11996056

Find us the exact lines where I state what you claim there. That is the dare. Prove you are not a liar.

Kobojunkie:

Find us the exact lines where I state what you claim there. That is the dare. Prove you are not a liar.

Lol . . This isnt truth or dare you know!

Somehow she doesn't need to prove anything cos I beleive her already . . . judging by your pedigree!

Kobojunkie:

Find us the exact lines where I state what you claim there. That is the dare. Prove you are not a liar.

Do you remember writing this?;
It is obvious you are a lazy woman from the statements above. Not only do I take care of kids, I also sleep less than 4 hours most nights so I can get work done, both at home and meet deadlines at work. I don't have gadgets and gizmos to do my work for me. I wipe my floors and scrub my own bathrooms. I cook most every day, and I am not loosing my mind . . . My mother was able to raise 6 kids without maids and she never complained that she needed them.

So rather than try to attack people brainlessly, focus on making your case rationally.
If you dont see it your self here, na copy and paste na jara
https://www.nairaland.com/1032349/live-in-maids-vs-non-live-in-housekeepers/1

Ujujoan:

Lol . . This isnt truth or dare you know!

Somehow she doesn't need to prove anything cos I beleive her already . . . judging by your pedigree!

Uju, I do oh, see am above, maybe Kobo don forget but search engine dey

debrief08:
Do you remember writing this?;
It is obvious you are a lazy woman from the statements above. Not only do I take care of kids, I also sleep less than 4 hours most nights so I can get work done, both at home and meet deadlines at work. I don't have gadgets and gizmos to do my work for me. I wipe my floors and scrub my own bathrooms. I cook most every day, and I am not loosing my mind . . . My mother was able to raise 6 kids without maids and she never complained that she needed them.

So rather than try to attack people brainlessly, focus on making your case rationally.
If you dont see it your self here, na copy and paste na jara
https://www.nairaland.com/1032349/live-in-maids-vs-non-live-in-housekeepers/1

Uju, I do oh, see am above, maybe Kobo don forget but search engine dey

I think most times he forgets what he says!

Ujujoan:

I think most times he forgets what he says!

Wait o, I'm kinda confused, She is a Man?

like I read those lines sometimes back..(from kobojunkie)

And here I was thinking Sisi_kill is the queen of sarcasm .

Yes the article make sense die, it will be very useful for all those women who believe house-helps are witches.

freecocoa: Wait o, I'm kinda confused, She is a Man?

I was shocked to find out too . . .

Shei, I wish I had debrief's searching skills, I would have shown you where he said something about not marrying a man since he's NOT gay!

found it . . . .

Kobojunkie:

I am not gay . . . . so stop wondering what MAN will marry me. Also, I don't exist on the same level as dimwits like you who think that when you get a wife you get a slave who should OBEY your every word. Sorry, that is not marriage but a contract that can be likened to that between a slave and a master.

And how does this affect the price of #fillinthespace# in the national market...

This article is very degrading and mean!

House girls may not be our responsibility but seeing them as work machines only is very mean and seems to be what this article is preaching!

How can Kobo be a man. Come on men are not that emotional

Abujafood: This article is very degrading and mean!

House girls may not be our responsibility but seeing them as work machines only is very mean and seems to be what this article is preaching!

^^ But this picture is real in many households. Child slavery exists and is promoted across Nigeria.

Abujafood: This article is very degrading and mean!

House girls may not be our responsibility but seeing them as work machines only is very mean and seems to be what this article is preaching!

I think the writer was sarcatsitcally condeming that ideaology!

Ujujoan:

I was shocked to find out too . . .

Shei, I wish I had debrief's searching skills, I would have shown you where he said something about not marrying a man since he's NOT gay!

Hmm, I've always had my suspicions sha, na wa o.