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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John (9662 Views)
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Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Mrsmansson(f): 11:01pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
@debrief i fully understand you,but its difficult in Nigeria to reach out to those poor kids without getting anything in return.which would u prefer a young girl acting as a" slave" according to you and maybe sometimes ends up a graduate or she staying back in her village and end up marrying a farmer @ prob @ 17.my mum is a proffessor 2day in our of our federal universities in Nigeria because she had to stay with her uncle.she is the only graduate among her sisters and ask me what the sisters are now. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 1:35pm On Oct 16, 2012 |
debrief08: I beg to disagree! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 7:25am On Oct 17, 2012 |
@ Debrief, I've noticed that you always argue with a one-sided view, and when you do this, it makes you sound, self righteous and judgmental. Stavenaija talked of his own experience with househelps, why not state yours and then keep it moving? Must it all be about you and the way you perceive rights and wrongs? I took in my husband's relative to help her in her schooling. The parents couldn't even send her to 'lesson', talk more of a proper school. For the next 10yrs, we saw this girl through high school as well as university, without a dime in contribution from her family, they were extremely poor. This girl was so integrated into my household, you would think she was my sister. The week she finished from the university, she demanded to return to her family cos, according to her, she's missing her mother! This, from a 26year old grown woman o, not a child! My point being that not all people who take in others are out to rip them off. Some helpers in fact do more good to the society by taking in some of these ill privileged people in the society. Remember, this is Nigeria where the government does not really care for its citizenry like we have in western countries. How many young children do we see daily roaming the streets with no one to care for them. How many can you and I truly help? Fact is government has failed to provide the basic stuff for its people. If Stavenaija feels he can help just one person to achieve what neither the government nor the girl"s family can, who are you to turn up your nose at his method? Why blame someone for something you don't even have a full understanding of? Debrief, it's a good thing to be balanced in one's judgment. You, my dear, need to find an acceptable balance when it comes to judging others with your one track mind. This is not an insult by the way. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 8:36am On Oct 17, 2012 |
Unique!:we can talk about police and our leaders but when we get close to our own practices it is "judgemental". you can not call it 'help' when you give it in expectation of service simple. nothing wrong with hirin a maid but hire one on professional terms not on "helping" terms. God will bless you for educating a child less privileged without expecting anything back but to take a child who cannot consent to work and work conditions under the guise of helping is illegal and immoral. Why exploit people less fortunate? why cant we pay good mney for services? why the quest for cheap labor? why are we afraid of professional maids? why do we like to do things under the table? 2 Likes |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 9:04am On Oct 17, 2012 |
^^ my dear, stop proselitising here. It's not as if he did an evil thing helping another person's child. Yes, many have been known to abuse such children no doubt, but for you to climb up your high horse and generalize that all who are not doing it the way you perceive it to be right is at best, being plain mischievous. I have known a few people who actually brought up strangers, with no hope of help whatsoever and turn them into responsible people in the society. Accept it or not, there are still such people in Nigeria! If I were to believe what you're postulating here, then in your world, you're better off than Stavenaija, because you choose to treat your help professionally by paying a wage, which we all know is never sufficient, even though it's called minimum wage. By the same token, Stavenaija is wrong to take further steps by sending his own help to school and generally doing what the help's family would/could not do! Debrief, I tire for your reasoning. Like I said before, a little open mindedness will help you go a long way. We all are not the same, neither is anyone's circumstance the same as others. Try and be more accepting of the fact that we won't all see life from the same lenses as you! 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 9:08am On Oct 17, 2012 |
If you ask me to be open minded to abuse, you might as well ask me to be open minded to corruption, our policemen who shoot people for N20. Abuse is abuse of power doesnt matter if a leader is abusing resources or a middle class man/ woman is abusing his position to take advantage of a poor child for cheap labor. Stop insulting the word "help" go and read it up, help means giving assistance simple, you give and dont take back. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 9:50am On Oct 17, 2012 |
And you should stop twisting my words to suit your obvious prejudice to other people's views. Nowhere on this thread did I support abuse of househelps. I never inferred such in any of my posts. Just trying to show u up on your penchant for condemning wholesale things that don't line up with your own beliefs. And since you fail to see this, I do honestly do not wish to waste any further time on you. You are always the jury, prosecutor and judge in your own cases. Carry go. Whatever makes you sleep better at night. Have a great day. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by SisiKill1: 12:38pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
How does the houseHELP (emphasis on the HELP) become the one being HELPED? ![]() ![]() How come it is the self titled helpers who are always desperately in need of the helps? Surely by virtue of the act of seeking help, the so called helper becomes the "helpee"? So how is the househelp being helped? ![]() If more people reread their posts, half....more than half the misunderstanding we have on these boards will not happen. Another thing, how does one find a middle ground on an issue that is clearly wrong? Are there degrees to wrongness some of us are clearly not aware of? All the middle ground finders can you please tell us the criteria used to determine how one wrong thing can be less wrong? 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 1:03pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
If someone wants to help a child from a poor family then help them - but this expectation of them helping around the house for the so called help is what people are having a problem with. This topic has made me even think that maybe all these people that want to 'HELP' should draw up a trust fund and collectively select kids they want to send to school - isn't the problem now solved. If you need a cleaner hire a cleaner, if u need a nanny hire a nanny, a cook hire a cook - u get my point. let every child have a childhood. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by ebony13: 1:09pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
I have been following this thread quietly, but i can't help but say this, everything does not have to be entirely black or entirely white,there are patches of grey. Go figure. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by SisiKill1: 3:02pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
ebony13: I have been following this thread quietly, but i can't help but say this, everything does not have to be entirely black or entirely white,there are patches of grey. Go figure. Of course everything is not always black and white but there are somethings which are always black and white. Hiring a child to do a job some grownups have a hard time with has no shades of grey even if you fatten the child up and dress her in pretty outfits while she does it. A child is a child is a child period!! Many people seem to misunderstand the term child abuse as it is used in this case, they think one needs to physically, verbally, emotionally or psychological abuse a child househelp before it can be called that...but that's not the case, the very fact that she is a CHILD HOUSEHELP is the Abuse. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by ebony13: 3:15pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
Ohk let me use myself as an example, i was the first child of my parents while growing up, when i was in primary school,i used to wash plates for my mum,wash my socks and pants and those of my younger ones,come home with my younger ones after school even though i was supposed to attend lessons,but because my parents were working, i cldnt stay for extra classes i bring my siblings home my dad always taught me @ home so i wasn't rily missing anything,i swept,bathed my younger ones,never did anything that was too hard for a child my age to do. So in actual sense i was 'helping' my parents. So would we say i was being abused? Or because i was doing everything a help that age would have done,but since i was their child i wasn't abused? What am i saying in essence? If you bring in a child to help around the house, send him/her to school,practically take care of him/her like your older child,the child dsnt do anything a child cannot do,is that still child abuse? I'm curious. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 3:39pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
but if you have children why would you need a underage house help. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Mrsmansson(f): 5:59pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
ebony13: Ohk let me use myself as an example, i was the first child of my parents while growing up, when i was in primary school,i used to wash plates for my mum,wash my socks and pants and those of my younger ones,come home with my younger ones after school even though i was supposed to attend lessons,but because my parents were working, i cldnt stay for extra classes i bring my siblings home my dad always taught me @ home so i wasn't rily missing anything,i swept,bathed my younger ones,never did anything that was too hard for a child my age to do. So in actual sense i was 'helping' my parents. So would we say i was being abused? Or because i was doing everything a help that age would have done,but since i was their child i wasn't abused? Some people here might say u didnt ve a childhood.i laugh in urhobo. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by SisiKill1: 6:22pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
ebony13: Ohk let me use myself as an example, i was the first child of my parents while growing up, when i was in primary school,i used to wash plates for my mum,wash my socks and pants and those of my younger ones,come home with my younger ones after school even though i was supposed to attend lessons,but because my parents were working, i cldnt stay for extra classes i bring my siblings home my dad always taught me @ home so i wasn't rily missing anything,i swept,bathed my younger ones,never did anything that was too hard for a child my age to do. So in actual sense i was 'helping' my parents. So would we say i was being abused? Or because i was doing everything a help that age would have done,but since i was their child i wasn't abused? So lemme see if I understand this. . .you are talking about taking care of YOUR siblings, in YOUR home, with YOUR own Parents? Oooookay, so was there some third party in this mix collecting money on your head for the things you were doing for YOUR siblings, in YOUR home with YOUR parents? If there wasn't. . .then I'm sorry but I fail to see what your point is. ![]() ![]() We all did chores as children the difference here. . .a difference, which quite frankly I am at a loss as to why it seems a difficult concept to grasps, is that WE WERE NOT THROWN INTO THE LABOR MARKET TO WORK FOR AN INCOME. No matter how "wicked" we thought our parents were, we always went to bed with the comforting knowledge that come rain or sunshine, they had our backs, they had to. . .they are our parents after all. That knowledge alone shows why you can't compare what you did. . .what many of us did at home for our parents with what these children househelps rented out to strangers do. The reason a contract is signed when someone gets a jobs is so an understanding of what is expected from both parties is established. Children do not sign contracts because the law does not believes (and rightly so) that they are capable of understanding the intricacies of such document and by virtue of that fact, they can not be put to work. SIMPLE!! Now if you can find a lawyer who will draw up a contract between you and a child stating exactly what you expect from her and how she will be compensated and what her rights are. . .then please go ahead, hire all the child househelps you can get your hands on. Until then what you are doing when you hire a child to work for you is ILLEGAL and MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE and no shade of grey can ever make it right. 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by coogar: 10:54am On Oct 18, 2012 |
i can stand the ignorance, it's the hypocrisy i cannot stand..... the following posters are hypocrites: sisikill debrief08 freecocoa kobojunkie and others i cannot remember! i find it particularly amusing when people who have read a magazine or two about child labour bring their political correctness on a forum and start comparing the western countries to nigeria! that concept is sheer ignorance cos what defines an individual as a child abroad is not the same as that of nigeria! a child is a "child" abroad but a child isn't a "child" in nigeria! send a 2 yr old baby to a paraga joint in nigeria and he would buy anything he wants as long as the baby has enough money to complete the transaction! is that how it works abroad? is the nigerian child the same as his counterparts abroad? in the developed world, there's nothing like child labour because the government recognises it as an offence and they have plugged the loopholes any parent or guardian can use as an excuse! children get allowances from the government, they get free rides on buses, there's free education to secondary school level - which means only an evil parent would still subject his kids to forced labour when all the basic necessities of that child have been catered for! it's not the same in nigeria - parents get zero support, education is not free and children do not get allowances from the government - which means the parents must do everything for their kids. it's damn impossible not to have child labour in that society - the fault is not with the parents, it's with the government! there's no law against child labour in nigeria and when there's no law, there's no crime! some parents need their kids to work to make ends meet! all the posters speaking against child labour on this thread are hypocrites because all of them have contributed their quota to encourage child labour! these posters(freecocoa, debrief08, sisikill, kobojunkie) have all patronised children selling oranges, gala, agege bread, etc. each time you have used these services when you are well aware these kids should be in school studying arithmetic, then you have all aided child labour! if any of you have sold alcohol/cigarettes to a customer who is less than 18 yrs of age, you have also abused that child! if any of you have sent kids less than 18 on an errand to buy alcohol/tobacco then you have abused that child! the only thing left is for you people to take a hard look at yourselves in the mirror and see the sheer hypocrisy you wallow in! we have all contributed to the business of child labour in nigeria, we have all abused children in nigeria(if we go by the western standard you guys are championing on this thread) - so it's a bit rich for you guys to wear a mask of hypocrisy on a faceless forum to condemn the act you engage on a daily basis! the hypocrisy makes me sick to my stomach! 14 Likes |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 11:17am On Oct 18, 2012 |
coogar: i can stand the ignorance, it's the hypocrisy i cannot stand..... When you put it like that, I can't help but agree . . . . ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 11:20am On Oct 18, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Why do people always assume they have a monopoly to knwoledge ![]() In your own small world, you've judged b/w what is right and wrong with absolute disregard to objectivity! If that isn't the height of hypocricy, I wonder what is! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by ifyalways(f): 11:30am On Oct 18, 2012 |
^ ^ this is not coogar. Someone else, probably a female is rocking that handle now. Your point is what?cos you've patronised child-hawkers you cannot speak up against child labor or that qualifies you guilt- free to hire a child to clean your shyte? @unique!, your scenario is totally different and I've seen and heard of countless of such positive stories. When you pick a child of a poor relative to live with you, in Naija, no one refers to such people as helps (omo odo/Nwa a kpotara akpota)! Even neighbours know and treat her fine. Can we honestly say same for all those imported kids from agents? Anyway, I think this topic has been flogged to death. At the end of the day, we all have our consciences to deal with. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by coogar: 11:42am On Oct 18, 2012 |
ifyalways: ^ ^ this is not coogar. Someone else, probably a female is rocking that handle now. i am saying there's no written law against child labour in nigeria - when there's no law, there's no crime! we should stop comparing nigeria to developed countries! how can you speak against child labour when you patronise children who sell goods? is that not hypocrisy? if we all stop buying from these kids, their parents would remove them from the streets - if we all stop hiring kids as maids, their parents would not send them out to work as maids! you cannot focus on hiring of maids and ignore the fact that you aid child labour each time you buy ewa agoiiiiin from a 10-yr-old! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by freecocoa(f): 11:44am On Oct 18, 2012 |
Ha coogar, na so e be? Well the fact that I buy things from kid hawkers does not make me a hypocrite, na me send them go sell the thing? Abeg let's be reasonable here. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by coogar: 11:50am On Oct 18, 2012 |
freecocoa: Ha coogar, na so e be? and this is exactly why you are a hypocrite! you are speaking against what you aid on a daily basis - for instance, animal rights group attack people who wear fur jackets, crocodile skin shoes, snake skin bags, etc na the wearers kill the animals? the buyers and the sellers are all major stakeholders in this! what about blood diamonds? the celebrities that got attacked for purchasing conflict diamonds, shey na beyonce dey cut the arms of children in sierra leone? abeg, you are as guilty as the parents who send these kids to sell wares! if you are totally against child labour, stop buying from the kids otherwise you are a hypocrite! 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by freecocoa(f): 12:02pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
coogar: ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh well coogar you can't put me and the people who sent those kids out into the streets on the same scale na, true Nigeria shouldn't be compared exactly to western countries but that doesn't mean we can't atleast do something to salvage the situation in our own little way. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 12:03pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
1. Open a thread against child labour anyday and I'll be the first to speak against it. But The guy debrief was attacking just needed a househelp. It seemed unfair of her to judge him and assume he intends to maltreat the child, when she doesn't even know him. 2. Child labour laws ONLY apply when the child is being maltreated and denied basic human rights. If these doesn't apply, then ain't those shouting 'child labour' making empty noise ![]() 3. I don't employ children to 'clean my shit', never have and never will. Not because I think it's wrong but because I think the younger the help, the bigger the repoonsibilities involved in taking care of them. I prefer to hire professional help, makes it easier for me in all dimensions. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 12:07pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
coogar: It's true that there's no law, but I think in this context, it's more of a moral crime. It's wrong to abuse children just cos there's no law against it? Aside from this, I agree with all you've said! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by coogar: 12:13pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
freecocoa: what exactly can we do? the last time i was in nigeria i spent a month there - i was introduced to these couple @ the church who want their kids to work as cleaners in my house! i didn't think i needed them cos i was only spending a month but the pastor told me i should just see it as a way of helping the impoverished family......that's the way it works in africa! the direct comparison to america/britain is not logical! the kids in those countries are well catered for by the government! the nigerian child gets nothing from his government and if his parents are poor - then start praying for that child! Ujujoan: yes, it's wrong to abuse a child but like sisikill mentioned - child abuse runs deeper than verbal, physical or sëxual abuse. patronising kids who sell wares is encouraging child labour which is a form of child abuse.... as per the moral crime - the parents of these kids don't even understand that! they literally go on their knees when they beg you to hire the kids. on one hand you are thinking it's not ethical and on the other hand you are thinking if you hire the kid, you would practically buy him a new life, educate him, put food on his table, etc! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by SisiKill1: 12:23pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
Ujujoan:Lmao! We are on a thread where the original post is an article about child labor and what is wrong with it....and I am being accused of acting like I have monopoly on knowledge because I agree with the article and countless others? Bwahahahaahahahah! Yeah Okay! ![]() ![]() Anymovingonhoo, So what Coogar is saying is if you have done something in the past, you aren't allowed to fight against it? Well Gosh darn it, someone shoulda told all them former slave owners who stood up for the abolishing of slavery. Rotflmao! 1 Like |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by coogar: 12:29pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: so you have now admitted you might have abused nigerian children in the past? good! at least we are getting somewhere! the pertinent question remains: the next time you go to lagos and a kid taps your window in his attempt to sell pure water or yoghurt, would you buy from him? ![]() ![]() ![]() i await your answer....... |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 12:37pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Actually I quoted your response to ebony's comment, not your comment to the original post of thread! |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by freecocoa(f): 12:37pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
coogar:Well you are right what I'm actually against is maltreatment of these children, if people will actually treat these kids like they would their own, I'm sure Nigeria will be a better place. |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by Nobody: 12:39pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
coogar: I imagine she might want to buy from him to 'help' him finish his wares early so he can go home and 'rest'. Lol ![]() |
Re: How To Get A House-Help In Nigeria By Elnathan John by SisiKill1: 12:54pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
EXCERPTS FROM THE NIGERIAN CHILD'S RIGHT ACT SECTION 18 OF THE NIGERIAN CHILD RIGHTS ACT 18. Contractual rights of a child SECTION 28 OF THE NIGERIAN CHILD'S ACT Child Labour SECTION 30 OF THE NIGERIAN CHILD'S RIGHT ACT 30. Prohibition of buying, selling, hiring or otherwise dealing in children for the purpose of I didn't make up those rules in my little world, so nah, I don't have a monopoly on knowledge. . .I just like to read. 1 Like |
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