Joyfulgal:


Hubby is hardly around.

hello, I run an errand service that basically caters for most of the needs you are worrying about in this thread and trust me,it is more effective and stressless.
we provide services like making delicious meals,cleaning up your house and office spaces,going shopping and even picking and dropping your laundries at a small cost.
And no,you don't have to worry about health expenses and all. just a call and we are at your doorstep. if you reside in lagos what i am suggesting could be a good option to consider.

see my siggy for more details. thank you

Joyfulgal:
Good morning everyone,
Let me start by saying I am not a perfect person. I will try to be as honest as possible. On the 29th of August I got a nanny. Here's a brief description of her. She claims to be God fearing, around 50 years, separated from her husband, has 5 kids. She calls me daughter and I call her mama/mummy.

The first three days she came, she was sick , but was treated (malaria ). Two weeks into her stay, she complained of body itching note she has a room and toilet to herself. Drinks good c - way water and bathe of course with clean water. Diagnosis was allergy. Just yesterday, she started complaining of neck pains. When she told me her age, I told her at this stage, she needs retirement but she says no one to provide for her needs. Meaning she needs the job and salary. She will be paid #30,000 monthly. Remember she's a stay home nanny.i provide her meals and medicals and may occasionally buy her clothes.

She lives with me and hubby. My hubby washes his clothes and car. So the only thing needed from her ìs a nice meal at the right time. I also told her, he doesn't joke with his meals. The first week,we had issues with her . She forgot the egusi at home and went to the market. Sure there was issues. The meal wasn't prepared on time. Two days later she messed up moimoi, it was on a Saturday after long hours of waiting for the meal , she served a meal that was half cooked. Hubby told her to cook again. And left the house angrily. I returned and ate the meal and also complained that the meal wasn't properly cooked.she said it's my tongue. I was bitter with her. Can you serve a visitor what you gave us or sell what you gave us? Her response was, she cooks and sell moin Moin and people don't complain. Ok I knew we were in for it. First week, I usually stay with her in the kitchen and guide her on her to prepare our meals. The following day Sunday, I told her hubby will go to church later so u can go for first service and return to prepare lunch. she returned from church(RCCG that closes before 12pm) few minutes to 2pm. I calmly told her,if my husband returns and his food is not ready it won't go well. She responded loudly that she's angry with me.i didn't bother to call her to find out her where about. I told her I see you as an adult and believe when dealing with adults things should go smoothly. Lunch was served by 4pm. I told her, if sincerely you see me as a daughter, you won't be doing all this. That passed. She kept a straight face.

God knows I have been trying to make her happy. I tell her to take a walk when she feels like. Give her money for snacks and ice cream. Make her feel like family. Watch tv together and allow her retire to bed when she feels like but the electronics must be properly turned off. Don't wake her up when I need to do some chores in the early hours of the day. I play ludo game with her when free and engage her in long gist to make her happy and don't feel lonely.

HERE IS THE PROBLEM
I told her, soon I will connect the dstv to her room but she can flex with the tv and dvd now. But when she needs to watch the almighty android tv in the sitting room I will help her turn it on .The tv is complex, requires update and to know when to connect it to ups /stabiliser. Yesterday afternoon called me, I was sleeping and honestly my phone was on silent. When I woke up, I went to her. She said there was light and she was calling and I didn't pick and she wanted to watch tv. Later in the evening, with our epileptic light, light came and off course her usual routine, please turn on the tv I did. PHCN struck around 10.21pm. She came knocking but I was in the convenience. When I came out, I didn't see her. So I went back to sleep. Remember no issues yesterday.

This morning, she requested for a meeting with me. Here was the discussion
Mama : I take u as my daughter, when I notice some character I don't like I have to tell u .maybe when oga comes the three of us will sit and u will tell me where I have gone wrong in this house. Your attitude towards me, I don't understand. I have noticed that on four occasions when I call, u don't pick(even days she went to the market ) i always return her calls.yesterday I knocked u didn't answer. That this suffer work when person dey do." She don tay for this job" .e be like I dey find person to replace her or she fit go.


Me: is that all my offence ? Do I wake u up early morning to do chores? I allow u wake up at your time. What do u think u do in this house? Sweep and mop once a week, go to market and cook and wash only my clothes and wash the kitchen utensils. What else? I have been a housewife and working class for some time now. It seems u are tired of this job or you are bigger than it. Please give me one week notification. I respect u so much the reason why I will stop here, had it been u were younger, I would have hit u real hard for all these u have said.

My observations
medically fit:40%
A good cook: 30%
Keeping the house clean:30%
But I intend to keep for some time until I have exhausted all options. I know she needs the money/salary. Tendency of her poisoning food is low or bringing in armed robbers or kidnappers is also low.

Please I need help on how to manage her or make her happy. I have been interacting with her as a family member and I think over familiarity is raising unnecessary issues. Please drop some tips for me.








....

madam pls am interested in dis kind of job,,I just finish my ND and I need where I will work so I can get enough money and continue my HND pls if u still need a nanny or house help am available.. so I can continue with my education.pls reply me,,thanks

Joyfulgal:


The next maybe worse

op, I took time to read through, even your previous thread. It helped me understand your situation better.
Like many have said, you can be kind to your worker without attaching sentiments. Work should be professional even if it's in your home.

This particular lady, you may have to let her go because of her attitude. It's not really the best. She can't take corrections and that is a problem.

Take things easy. I will not come and start advising you, you are double in married years compared to me. I pray for you, that you shall carry this child to term and laughter shall be heard in your dwelling.

Life is spiritual, we are spirits in bodies, don't let your body dictate your life, hold that baby in, from the realm of the Spirit till the time is right.
Don't stop declaring words of faith. I just returned from an awesome program and will paste my note below. Kindly go through. God bless you

Global miracle faith seminar
Living victorious
Everyone who believes must accept that he is who God says he is.
Heb11:6
God has your true identity. Believe what he says abt you.
God left us with faith to win in this life. It doesn't matter what comes against u, u can change it!
God doesn't respond to Ur tears, HE MEETS YOU AT YOUR POINT OF FAITH.
1john3:8- rom8:37-we are more than conquerors.
How do we live victoriously?
1)we have to live victoriously by the word. God's word is life,is power. God's word is a revelation of who u truly are.
If you don't respond rightly to the word of God, it will not produce in you what it talks abt u!
No body can believe on your behalf.
Rom10:9-10 with thy mouth, confession is made not only unto salvation but also unto divine
health, prosperity!
God's word is truth and capable of making you free!
Free from facts, facts like medical reports,facts from bank reports
Talking is Ur life, if u stop talking u die!
Talk and release spirits in Ur life.
The words that I speak, they are spirits and life
2cor4:13-
Away with tears and fear, you can change that condition.
What do you believe
Jesus said, u shall have whatsoever u say! because u are not ordinary!
2) living victoriously by the spirit. We are not ordinary people.
Rom8:11-if he that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in u, he shall quicken Ur mortal bodies.
Your life is sustained by the spirit, born of the spirit and sustainex by d spirit.
Mark 16-these signs shall follow them that believe....

victorian:
50 Years old nanny is hell no!

They always feel entitled as if they are your mother.
And deep down they are jealous, their younger years is not as rosy as yours. That's why one gets to see such irritating attitudes from such age.

She's old, Abeg free her and get a younger lady as hubby is not always around.
She's only adding to your stress.
Mehn, she's old.

Haha... a 50 year old in any workplace is the same. They can't stand being told what to do by much younger employees who achieved much more than them.

It's not ur ur employees fault, you are older than them.
If they don't want to be told what to do, I don't know why they don't just stay at home and become self employed.

Na wa sha, poster came to ask for straight forward advise but people have turned it into a bash festival and unsolicited advise. You all assume that everybody's situation is the same.

Poster tried to get pregnant for 8years.

She tried so many fertility treatment
Finally she is pregnant but because it is so easy for some of us to get pregnant people are here shouting on how she is lazy because she is pregnant and not doing chores. Smh.

Everybody is different ohhhhhhh
Poster please don't feel bad about all the insults.

The maid is not a nice person she would have paid back your kindness with kindness not take it for granted. Set ground rules and watch if she will obey them till October

She is an employee not your mother don't be crossing boundaries

1Sharon:


Haha... a 50 year old in any workplace is the same. They can't stand being told what to do by much younger employees who achieved much more than them.

It's not ur ur employees fault, you are older than them.
If they don't want to be told what to do, I don't know why they don't just stay at home and become self employed.

Honestly I wonder too.
No matter their pity story, I don't employ such age bracket, 50 upwards? Nope.

egojeny1:

I tire. How can someone mop ur house 2x daily, d person na slave?

lol

Funniest thing is that if you are as clean as you want to claim ( by mopping your house twice every freaking day) , you actually don't need to clean your house twice daily .

It's just slave driver mentality. I pay the maid 35K so he will sweep and mop till his back breaks. Shiooooor

Joyfulgal:



Thanks .It's Afang soup safe for me? prepared with afang leaf /okazi

I had Afang a few times in my breeding days, no effect whatsoever on me or foetus/baby but it seems yours is kinda high risk/IVF so perhaps you should ask your GYN.

Happy bumping

KanwuliaExtra:


Amen ooooo sister!
One week. . . New illness.
They are never well o!
If anything happens to her in that house nko?
Dem go begin judge case.
Cheap article dey run belle!

I hope she listens.

There's no child/baby to keep the mama busy or occupied.
She's probably had a rough life (men/marriage heart breaks , child rearing sufferings, business set backs, religious imprisonment etc) and the OP expects her to be happy working for her even with all the comfort and gadgets in the house ? The woman in her mind will be seeing the OP as a lazy woman with a mumu husband spoiling her and see no reason to adapt to the oga-madam situation. . .

She will eat everything eatable to her heart content, cross her legs and watch tv 》》》》》 obesity plus all the other old age diseases.

Best bet is to let her go and bring her back, if she must, after having her baby.

Y

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Joyfulgal:



Yeah thanks. I appreciate. I am far from u. Down in the south

oh ok..thank you

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Joyfulgal:


I concur.

Yeah thanks dear,I have made up my mind to let her go but the thing is "we are yet to tell family ". Waiting for second trimester that's in few weeks time . Then happily I will say goodbye to her. My hubby says all u need from her is food and also ensure you rest. Every other thing is secondary including her.

Happy Sunday


Second trimester starts from week 13 depending on how long gone you are.... so you can calculate how long you both are going to be together hopefully without issues.

Ask yourself if the few days/weeks she has spent with you have been without any issues at least for a day...so you can divert your energy to the appropriate place even if it is sleep only..

A non-live in help can do all the food you want as well and of course someone you can correct easily when she is wrong

Joyfulgal:


Wow thanks. You are far too qualified. I wish I could help. Don't give up.

OK thanks

I respect u so much the reason why I will stop here, had it been u were younger, I would have hit u real hard for all these u have said.

This was so out of line omg. OP you have issues

And your househelp has issues as well. In fact she has a lot of issues and I don’t think she is ready for the job

1Sharon:


Oh pls. Ask women in the west how they cope without maids

Helpful husbands. That’s how women in the West cope. Not the ones waiting to be served hand and foot. I totally understand why Nigerian women go for maids.

Please pay her more

realtalk19:
God bless my kids nanny. I have known her for four years. A widow in her early 50s who is struggling to keep busy. I pay her 'peanuts' but the care she gives my kids is mind calming. She resumes every Monday morning 6:30am and leaves on Fridays when I get back from work, washes me and the kids clothes and takes my elder child to school while she looks after the younger who is still 1yr +. I do the cooking and keep in the freezer while she prepares eba or rice for dinner whenever I get late from work. Asides from salary I try to appriciate her with tins I know she nids eg foodstuffs, gifts or impromptu t- fare or credit Mony.

Getting a good nanny is luck and God's grace. Op should try to always cook her meals and keep in the freezer.she shuldnt be left to do everything and still take care of tins. Don't forget she may not be able to go Tru much stress and also taking advantage of you and hubby.

Always looking for an excuse to hate on women and justify infidelity

Acidosis:


Ladies of nowadays really need to stop digesting everything they learn from their mothers. It is not a must to have a maid. Most of the time, these women can't even afford the services of the maid, yet prefer to leave the house in order to be classified as working class-working woman. They come back home after 30 days of hustle with less than 100k salary.

Maid stays home, cook, relax, watch Africa Magic and at the end of the month, gets paid between 30-40k with other tips. ...because she works less, sometimes oga can even decide to switch after wifey must have given him a line up of complaints about body ache.

I really don't understand why women are so obsessed with maids.

1Sharon:


Rubbish post. Women in the west hardly have maids, ask how they do it. You lot are so entitled

They are not entitled

They have big babies called husbands that can’t lift a finger lest their ego deflates

Acidosis:


There are no chores to be done. Whoever did the chores when they were both single and working should continue to do it. Marriage does not come with extra responsibilities.

If the need to rest is really and medically important, she would tender her resignation at work (unless she holds a larger percentage of financial responsibilities at home).

He didn’t just say that.

Yea I heard that nurses in the UK aren’t paid their worth. It’s unfair. You ladies and gentlemen need to ask for what’s your due. Nurses are too valuable for that shiz

1Sharon:


You aren't getting me. I am comparing nursing and a nanny when it comes to the looking after aspect of ppl and SOMETIMES the cleaning up after when there is no nursing assistant.

What does the term get hands dirty mean? I simply mean putting in elbow grease when there's no help. I am not being condescending at all. Don't assume. Nurses here are overworked and the pay isn't all that, so it's not about money.

Don't forget we are talking about this 50 year old Nanny and the OP said she isn't overworked