Good morning nairalanders, I am new here and I want you to advise me. I am 19 years and I haven't being asked out before even though some said they love me. This has reduce my self-esteem when it comes to guys issue that I normally do crazy things to get their attention but at the end they don't even notice me; some of them do take advantage of me. I have a guy who was my childhood friend; he asked me out on fb and we do chat on whatsapp too. I think I am just plan B to him because he has only called me once and even when my phone got spoilt and I wasn't online for sometimes he still didn't call me. I am in 2nd year, I haven't been asked by guys to be friends with them except my coursemates. How can I stop having these thoughts that 'I am not destined for any guy' and build my self esteem so that I will concentrate fully for my studies. Thanks

Op what are u saying? dont get your post

CONCENTRATE ON YOUR STUDIES
WHEN YOU SUCCEED THEY WILL COME KNOCKING


DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS

Rubbiish:
Op what are u saying?
dont get your post

u sabi read so??

All me I know is, to build anything, you will require cement, sand and water. Those are basic materials. Cheers.

The only self esteem u need now that can last is for u to add enviable value to ur life. If this value can be guaranteed by ur present studies, good and fine. Men love going for well "packaged" ladies who ain't liability. @19 and second year, u have ample opportunity to develop ur self. When u have a value to add in peoples life, na self esteem go dey rush u. Don't join the band wagon of slay mamas as u are now a campus gal.... My 1cent

Uyi168:
u sabi read so??

Are u d OP? Ode!

Dress well and stay neat, also Neva do stuff for attention and see how guys start to notice u

Though you are already an adult, but you are still young. You need to concentrate on your studies now. There is time for everything...
Do you feel lonely? You can make friends with your course mates, you can hangout with family.
Don't let it weigh you down, is not yet late to have a boyfriend, and be very careful about it. The person you choose to be with can make a negative or positive impact on your life forever. Don't rush it.

Bunmijanet25:
Good morning nairalanders, I am new here and I want you to advise me. I am 19 years and I haven't being asked out before even though some said they love me. This has reduce my self-esteem when it comes to guys issue that I normally do crazy things to get their attention but at the end they don't even notice me; some of them do take advantage of me. I have a guy who was my childhood friend; he asked me out on fb and we do chat on whatsapp too. I think I am just plan B to him because he has only called me once and even when my phone got spoilt and I wasn't online for sometimes he still didn't call me. I am in 2nd year, I haven't been asked by guys to be friends with them except my coursemates. How can I stop having these thoughts that 'I am not destined for any guy' and build my self esteem so that I will concentrate fully for my studies. Thanks

Well, that certainly isn't normal. Can you upload a picture of yourself on your DP? Let's start from there.

Admin401:


Well, that certainly isn't normal. Can you upload a picture of yourself on your DP? Let's start from there.

LOL. My thoughts exactly. But even if she isn't as beautiful as we'd have expected, she still needs to concentrate on her studies, earn good grades, and the right guys will flock around her. Believe me, "nobody ugly oooo"

Kryptomeniac:
The only self esteem u need now that can last is for u to add enviable value to ur life. If this value can be guaranteed by ur present studies, good and fine. Men love going for well "packaged" ladies who ain't liability. @19 and second year, u have ample opportunity to develop ur self. When u have a value to add in peoples life, na self esteem go dey rush u. Don't join the band wagon of slay mamas as u are now a campus gal.... My 1cent

Thank you

Arthurwinner:
Dress well and stay neat, also Neva do stuff for attention and see how guys start to notice u

Thanks

CDCEO001:
Though you are already an adult, but you are still young. You need to concentrate on your studies now. There is time for everything...
Do you feel lonely? You can make friends with your course mates, you can hangout with family.
Don't let it weigh you down, is not yet late to have a boyfriend, and be very careful about it. The person you choose to be with can make a negative or positive impact on your life forever. Don't rush it.

we are on holiday and I am the only one at home

Admin401:


Well, that certainly isn't normal. Can you upload a picture of yourself on your DP? Let's start from there.

lol, even if I upload my picture it doesn't change anything

Feranchek:


LOL. My thoughts exactly. But even if she isn't as beautiful as we'd have expected, she still needs to concentrate on her studies, earn good grades, and the right guys will flock around her. Believe me, "nobody ugly oooo"

thanks

So yuh only problem at 19 x bout guys getting to notice u? U better snap out of that stupid thought n focus on more important things like hw to develop yuhself to face what's ahead...

Headlesschicken:
So yuh only problem at 19 x bout guys getting to notice u? U better snap out of that stupid thought n focus on more important things like hw to develop yuhself to face what's ahead...

If I know how to snap out of the thought, I wouldn't be here in the first place. I have plans for my future and I want to take away the thought so that I will concentrate more on it. Thanks

Women just love attention a lot. They always want to be the center of attention. ALL EYES ON ME.

They love the feeling of being rushed and chased. It boosts their ego. When the attention is not coming, their self esteem begins to crumble. They begin to wonder, AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH. AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE.

Some become very desperate for attention that they begin to dress sloppily and reveal body parts just to get guys to LOOK AT ME.

Those who seem to be getting lots of attention become too egotistical and arrogant. Their heads become swollen with pride and overconfidence that they begin to feel entitled and aloof. I AM TOO BEAUTIFUL. IF YOU DONT WANT ME THERE ARE MANY OTHERS WHO DO.

This is the effect lack of, or too much of attention usually have. When your self esteem or lack of it depends on others, you lose control of yourself completely. And you could end up in one of these extremes.

So, madam OP, ask yourself, does how you see, value and estimate your worth depend on how others see and value you. Does your self esteem come from within you, or it's entirely external?

Nnaabros:
Women just love attention a lot. They always want to be the center of attention. ALL EYES ON ME.

They love the feeling of being rushed and chased. It boosts their ego. When the attention is not coming, their self esteem begins to crumble. They begin to wonder, AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH. AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE.

Some become very desperate for attention that they begin to dress sloppily and reveal body parts just to get guys to LOOK AT ME.

Those who seem to be getting lots of attention become too egotistical and arrogant. Their heads become swollen with pride and overconfidence that they begin to feel entitled and aloof. I AM TOO BEAUTIFUL. IF YOU DONT WANT ME THERE ARE MANY OTHERS WHO DO.

This what the effect lack of, or too much of attention usually have. When your self esteem or lack of it depends on others, you lose control of yourself completely. And you could end up in one of these extremes.

So, madam OP, as yourself, does how you see, value and estimate your worth depend on how others see and value you. Does your self esteem come from within you, or it's entirely external?

I think it is entirely external. Thanks

You are trying too hard to get their attention and besides, sure say you arent one of thse girls that do shakara for us who are willing to send PM

Bunmijanet25:
thanks

You're welcome

go to the gym

go to a dance school or learn how to dance dancing is an exercise that will give you a better shape



thank me later, this is the only way to boost your self esteem, especially if you're not beautiful facially.

op can you do us a favour by putting yo picture on yo profile, that way, we deduce the next step lol. btw which school you attending?
cc bunmijanet25

Op don't do anything to try to get their attention so that you don't seem desperate. Just focus in studies and be free.. be yourself. Originality attracts

girl I know how it feels to have low self esteem I av being there before its a horrible feeling and worst of all very few people will understand what you are going through, in fact you will rearly see people who will help especially here on nairaland this is not the best place to come to for advice nairaland is fuuucked up .here is my advice for you

life is not fair, the gifts of nature is not evenly distributed that's reality for you.you must learn to accept who you are and be grateful to God take pride in who you are
l mean appreciate what you have and learn to worry less about what you don't have .it not gonna easy at first but keep telling your self you are good enough say it to yourself everyday a time will come when it will sink to your subconscious mind and before you know you will see a new you.if you don't understand ask questions.

Twizzy30:
op can you do us a favour by putting yo picture on yo profile, that way, we deduce the next step lol. btw which school you attending?
cc bunmijanet25

which step

haladadon:
go to the gym

go to a dance school or learn how to dance dancing is an exercise that will give you a better shape



thank me later, this is the only way to boost your self esteem, especially if you're not beautiful facially.

thanks

ImaIma1:
Op don't do anything to try to get their attention so that you don't seem desperate. Just focus in studies and be free.. be yourself. Originality attracts

thank you

kollinzgee:
girl I know how it feels to have low self esteem I av being there before its a horrible feeling and worst of all very few people will understand what you are going through, in fact you will rearly see people who will help especially here on nairaland this is not the best place to come to for advice nairaland is fuuucked up .here is my advice for you

life is not fair, the gifts of nature is not evenly distributed that's reality for you.you must learn to accept who you are and be grateful to God take pride in who you are
l mean appreciate what you have and learn to worry less about what you don't have .it not gonna easy at first but keep telling your self you are good enough say it to yourself everyday a time will come when it will sink to your subconscious mind and before you know you will see a new you.if you don't understand ask questions.

You said here is not the best place to come for advice and you still gave her advice on the same forum

kollinzgee:
girl I know how it feels to have low self esteem I av being there before its a horrible feeling and worst of all very few people will understand what you are going through, in fact you will rearly see people who will help especially here on nairaland this is not the best place to come to for advice nairaland is fuuucked up .here is my advice for you

life is not fair, the gifts of nature is not evenly distributed that's reality for you.you must learn to accept who you are and be grateful to God take pride in who you are
l mean appreciate what you have and learn to worry less about what you don't have .it not gonna easy at first but keep telling your self you are good enough say it to yourself everyday a time will come when it will sink to your subconscious mind and before you know you will see a new you.if you don't understand ask questions.

I have battling with it since I turned 13..i guess I will keep telling myself that. Thanks

Bunmijanet25:
Good morning nairalanders, I am new here and I want you to advise me. I am 19 years and I haven't being asked out before even though some said they love me. This has reduce my self-esteem when it comes to guys issue that I normally do crazy things to get their attention but at the end they don't even notice me; some of them do take advantage of me. I have a guy who was my childhood friend; he asked me out on fb and we do chat on whatsapp too. I think I am just plan B to him because he has only called me once and even when my phone got spoilt and I wasn't online for sometimes he still didn't call me. I am in 2nd year, I haven't been asked by guys to be friends with them except my coursemates. How can I stop having these thoughts that 'I am not destined for any guy' and build my self esteem so that I will concentrate fully for my studies. Thanks

Send me a mail or call 07054880241 the pm ain't going through