Hi

I met this guy three months ago. We’ve been casually dating, he’s very calm, nice and he presents himself to be a very God fearing guy.

However, there’s some things that I’m not too keen about that I would like to share, and I’m wondering if I should continue the relationship or break it off as these could be signs that it may not work.

1. He’s a yahoo boy, he’s been into this for the past 11 years and this has been his main source of income.
2. He’s from edo state, some of his family members practice juju, although he is a born again Christian as he claims to be. I’m from Ekiti, I think there could be a tribal conflict.
3. He smokes everyday, which I don’t think I will be able to deal with long term. (Although he has promised to stop)
4. I live in the USA, he currently doesn’t have his papers so he is unable to do a lot of things. He married a lady to get his papers in 2012, (arranged marriage, not a real one) the arrangement didn’t work out in his favour, so he’s still on it till now.
5. He has been physically abusive to two of his ex’s, which he told me about. He also cheated on his ex that he was with for 10 years due to the distance. ( she’s in Nigeria)
6. He has tattoos on his body, which I’m not too fond about.
7. Most of his friends are heavy drinkers and smokers. His best friend cheats significantly on his wife.

I know we’re not perfect, and we all come with some kind of baggage. I’m a young God fearing lady of 24, and I just believe that this may be too much for me to handle.

He’s a nice guy, and he’s told me he loves me and I can see it in his actions. He was honest enough to tell me everything about his past, but I don’t know how to process all this information.

I don’t know what to do, but I believe God is warning me with all these signs. Am I being too judgemental or should I slowly drift away?

Forget about the guy. The stress and worry you will go through isn't worth it.

A born again Yahoo boy wehdon ma!



na only you waka come

Chaiii

This whole "nobody is perfect" bull!sh!t, I just hate. The dudes has too many baggages, it is not about telling you the truth, you would've still found out. It is about having a better past, What's wrong with living a life that you can talk about in the future without having to lie?

My dear don't miss out on the good guy you would meet because you are trying to keep this ......



By the way, wetin he for tell You before That he hates You

I cannot cast my fellow guy make I seal my mouth

These are not signs, they are wonders . U compiled this long list and u say sign...

Una neva learn

So this is new to you?

lalanice:
A born again Yahoo boy wehdon ma!

na only you waka come

He’s really into God from what I can see. He works in the ushering department in church, but I think hes just living a double lifestyle which he can’t let go of, if that makes sense.

lalanice:
A born again Yahoo boy wehdon ma!



na only you waka come

this is like saying I want to enter a house but the house is on fire, there are venomous snakes inside, there is spikes on the roof that are falling after each 5 seconds, the foundation of the house is weak, the house is shaking tremendously and has a slight chance of falling but there is very super soft mattress in the house which I will like to spend my night in.

Imogenn:
He’s really into God from what I can see. He works in the ushering department in church, but I think hes just living a double lifestyle which he can’t let go of, if that makes sense.

my dear that's a church goer, not a born again, not even so much as a Christian.

This is really funny, some people just never learn.He says he loves me like he's the first person to or will be the last person to..He's had two ex's what do you think he told them .

With so many signs and you're still not sure what to do with him..What I'd like to know is have you guys been intimate before?.cos most times that's the only reason a guy would put up a fallacious persona just so he'll keep your mind at ease until he gets what he wants

You met a guy you liked?

You are not comfortable or okay with 80% of things you know about him?


Yet you want me, that has not met or know the person in question to give you advice about him?




I am seriously not understanding!!!

Oh lord...another confused soul again


Cc rame18

Love.... that's the only thing that can make someone that sees a spade...instead of calling it what it is..decides to call it a farm tool.... You saw all those tinny tiny things and u still sticks to it for three months. .. That my friend can make relationship work...

But If he abuses his two EX(s).. what do u think makes u special?.. is there a reason why you think he won't do it again?

As for drinking and smoking, You can't change him... Take it or leave it... Trying to change him is what I tagged selfish..(my opinion though ) Because u saw him doing it before u came along.... So tolerate it or move on.. except if he wants to change on his own accord...

In my opinion, I did not see much baggage except the fact that he was not having an honest source of livelihood and he (was) abusive..the key word...WAS... Lots of people got more baggage than that... if u can tolerate him and he treats you like a queen, stay....if not move on... don't depend on what people are gonna tell u..because u know him better than all of us

Hmmm

danieljessy:
This is really funny, some people just never learn.He says he loves me like he's the first person to or will be the last person to..He's had two ex's what do you think he told them .

With so many signs and you're still not sure what to do with him..What I'd like to know is have you guys been intimate before?.cos most times that's the only reason a guy would put up a fallacious persona just so he'll keep your mind at ease until he gets what he wants

dingbang:
Oh lord...another confused soul again


Cc rame18

the thing when the guy rub for that him dick dey very potent o, it has turned an angel to a demon.

Imogenn:
He’s really into God from what I can see. He works in the ushering department in church, but I think hes just living a double lifestyle which he can’t let go of, if that makes sense.

You are not thinking straight anymore. I feel for you.

This babe never see something yet.....when u finally see that something, u won't need Nairaland to tell u to run....

Just hope u won't be running with one eye by then...

lalanice:
A born again Yahoo boy wehdon ma!


na only you waka come

The thing fear me self o.
God fearing yahoo boy!

Imogenn:
Hmmm

Look missy you're the best person to answer your own question..He's a man beater n a cheat,he smokes and drinks. His best friend who could possibly advice him to amend his ways is a serial cheat...Aunty don't goan kill yourself

lexy2014 come and see what I said coming to pass.

I think I just needed to hear the truth, thanks.

danieljessy:
Look missy you're the best person to answer your own question..He's a man beater n a cheat,he smokes and drinks. His best friends who could possibly advice him to amend his ways is a serial cheat...Aunty don't goan kill yourself

Richy4:
Love.if u can tolerate him and he treats you like a queen, stay....if not move on... don't depend on what people are gonna tell u..because u know him better than all of us

Bro, don't advice her to tolerate a women-beater or she'd end up dead in no time.

A guy who cheats would change if he's compelled to. A guy who's into vices might just give them up but a woman-molester would rarely ever change. Unless something drastic happens, men who initiate physical assault on women always keep at it.

Don't let desperation push you into making lifelong decision you may live to regret. I read your previous thread. This guy is obviously not yours. You stated it yourself that he is married, so? If you can live with it, okay. But be sure to leverage on time.

Yeah he had an arranged marriage just to get his paper, it wasn’t real but in the end it did not work out for him because he hasn’t gotten his papers still.

sacx:
Don't let desperation push you into making lifelong decision you may live to regret. I read your previous thread. This guy is obviously not yours. You stated it yourself that he is married, so? If you can live with it, okay. But be sure to leverage on time.

DissTroy:


Bro, don't advice her to tolerate a women-beater or she'd end up dead in no time.

A guy who cheats would change if he's compelled to. A guy who's into vices might just give them up but a woman-molester would rarely ever change. Unless something drastic happens, men who initiate physical assault on women always keep at it.

I understand.... Some times people get provoked to act the way they do when it comes to domestic violence....
That is if the man got no will power to control his anger...

No one knows if the OP is bringing the best out of the guy... We can't just give up on someone because of his past... if there are indication or sign that the guy is a violent person, Op should take a walk.... If not.. my only concern is what he does for a living...

Babe laslas you go de alright
A born again yahooboy isn't God wonderful

This baggage or baggages are damn too much to bear, don't let the I love you he said cloud your judgement .

rame18:
lexy2014 come and see what I said coming to pass.

lexy2014 reporting 4 duty. i have come. pls show me d thing that u said will come 2 pass

lexy2014:

lexy2014 reporting 4 duty. i have come. pls show me d thing that u said will come 2 pass

Read the story, a Benin yahoo boy in the ablood

Yes he claimed that he hit his ex’s from provocation and he claims that he will never hit a woman again. About his yahoo thing, he’s trying to find a way out but since he cannot work legally because of his papers, this is the only thing that can fetch him money for now.


I’m just confused, I feel sorry for him but I don’t want to deal with all those baggage

Richy4:


I understand.... Some times people get provoked to act the way they do when it comes to domestic violence....
That is if the man got no will power to control his anger...

No one knows if the OP is bringing the best out of the guy... We can't just give up on someone because of his past... if there are indication or sign that the guy is a violent person, Op should take a walk.... If not.. my only concern is what he does for a living...

Imogenn:
Yeah he had an arranged marriage just to get his paper, it wasn’t real but in the end it did not work out for him because he hasn’t gotten his papers still.

If you were my sister, I wouldn't advise you to continue, considering his line of work (yahoo). But what works for one may not work for all, so you have to really know what you want and what standards you can compromise on.

If you choose to continue, allow a good amount of time to allow his personality to be completely unraveled so you have a good idea what you are walking into. All the best.