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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him (5287 Views)
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How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by edoman2016: 5:30am On Dec 23, 2018 |
I have a friend that was just an acquaintance to me when we were in the university. We became friends after we met again in Lagos. My friend is just too broke and poor. It's more than 7 years we've graduated from the university, my friend has nothing to show for it. He can't even take care of his basic needs. He has a struggling business that fetch him peanut. He has become a parasite and too dependent on me. He always beg me for money all the time. He believes since I am doing well financially, I should always foot the bill whenever we hang out together. I have tried to end the friendship so as to stick with people in my status. But this guy won't let me go. I am thinking of telling him straight that I have outgrown my friendship with him and he should move on. And that we are no longer in the university like before. What do you guys think? 6 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by madridguy(m): 5:35am On Dec 23, 2018 |
You must be a kid to be reasoning like this. Digest below quotes as am much it will help you. 1. No condition is permanent. 2. God can bless anyone anytime 3. No one knows tomorrow 4. If you dump him today, what if the table change tomorrow? 5. Overtaking is allowed in game of live. So my dear friend, humble yourself because tomorrow is pregnant. 102 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by stefanjaeger: 5:36am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Please how do you outgrow a friend because he doesn't have as much money as you do. You admitted he has a business he is struggling with, have you tried to help grow his business? I did not read anywhere you said you have supported his struggling business financially in the past. Nevertheless, It is not out of order to be struggling with business in Nigeria right now, that is the prevailing economy template. I advise that you cut back on footing his bill anytime you guys hang out together. Give him substantial money ('cos you sound rich) to at least help his ailing business. You should let him know you won't be frequently footing his bill any longer which is why you are helping his business. Advise him to get serious and elevate his personality. Please don't ever tell him you don't want you guys to stop being friend because he is flat broke. That statement is rude, irresponsible and can be suicidal. 43 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by edoman2016: 5:45am On Dec 23, 2018 |
madridguy:You can't understand how it feels to still be keeping a friend whom you have outgrown in status The truth is that the friendship is unbalanced. Because the other friend will always think of how to milk you dry by always begging for money and feeling entitled. It's natural. It's just like if Dangote is a friend to you too. There is a saying " A rich man in the midst of poor men is a poor man". 7 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by MichaelBukamzy(m): 5:53am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Oga you shouldn't have used the word "outgrown". besides,since you are that rich and steps above him,if you help your friend by supporting that his buisness that fetches peanuts he would always be gratefull for it. 8 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by madridguy(m): 6:08am On Dec 23, 2018 |
I hear you Carlos Slim of Nigeria. ![]() edoman2016: 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by sisisioge: 6:11am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Hmmm...don't kick a man already down by telling him you've outgrown him in status and friendship. Biko just gradually withdraw from him without being so obvious if you don't wanna be friends with him anymore. By the time you keep that up for a couple of months, he would get the message and stop bothering you. Indeed, the reality of life is that we outgrow some friends but we are not allowed to state this fact. 20 children cannot be friends for 20 years. Nature always takes its course to reduce animosity/bad blood. Besides, a wise man never burn bridges! 33 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by dingbang(m): 6:14am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Bia how much do you even have that you making so much noise? You should better humble yaself 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by ValCon888: 6:26am On Dec 23, 2018 |
May God not allow me have a friend like you who only looks at status and monetary wealth as qualifications for friendship 41 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Liliyann(f): 6:29am On Dec 23, 2018 |
You are just senseless and stupid!!! I wish your friend can use you for ritual!! Mumu 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by edoman2016: 6:39am On Dec 23, 2018 |
You guys are just hypocritical. I am sure most of you have friends that you ignore their calls whenever they call you on your phone. Because you know it's either money or help they want to beg from you. So, don't be hypocritical with me. It's a reality that each of us pass through in life. I am not an exception. 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Dami12345: 6:42am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Really, more love for money than a friend? So the friend is that use less to you. Well I get what you mean, but unless your source of income is unlimited, get off your high horse. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by ITbomb(m): 6:45am On Dec 23, 2018 |
People like you will buy 10 bottles of beer for someone but find it very difficult to give 200 Naira for transport 33 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by fastseo: 6:48am On Dec 23, 2018 |
No one knows tomorrow, the friend you called broke today do you know what he will become in 5 years time. No condition is permanent. God raised you up to be a blessing to others and he can debase you become too arrogant and chooses to suppres others with your wealth. You can do him a favor by helping his business, anything is still something. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Annwrites: 7:06am On Dec 23, 2018 |
I understand your plight, I have seen that entitlement syndrome in different shades and I still do. But before you decide to end the friendship, try finding out why his business isn't growing and give him appropriate advice. You also can give him some money to help him with his business. If you notice, he isn't cut out to be a business owner, you can just tell him to seek employment and if you can help him in getting a job. If after doing any of this your friend is still stagnant and begging without a good reason. You can unfriend him. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Lagbaja01(m): 7:10am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Human beings like holding on to the old but I think it's is okay to outgrow some friendships (especially bad ones)....but the Op never mentioned any benefit of their friendship 7 years ago while they were still in school so I think he's not fair enough on that. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by dennel(m): 7:28am On Dec 23, 2018 |
He will survive without you brother...! It may only hurt him for a little while* However, m sure it’s peanuts he begs for n bn offered by you* To me it’s nothing hanging out with you friend and since you richer, footing the bills, I doubt it happens everyday or every weekend! And the way you sounded up there, he’s a close pal of yours even before you made it dt far! But all the same, I understand you have your family to take care of n all...! Continue offering the stipends*nt all times* buh once in a while and never look down on anybody in life...! Life is a funny place* 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Nobody: 7:44am On Dec 23, 2018 |
edoman2016: Tell us ten good things (things that you love) about your friend who you now resent These may make you realize why you became friends in the first place. You may start reappreciating him again Your post is so shallow And I have to say this, you do not sound like a very nice person I hope I am wrong 10 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Nobody: 7:47am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Liliyann: ![]() May this not happen but I get your anger His post make my blood cold too Cheers |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by mrjojo: 7:48am On Dec 23, 2018 |
He isn't your friend to start with. So if I get you right, you are out of his league now, hmm.. No one deserves to have some like you as a "friend". What exactly are you friends for, if you can help him grow too? I'm sure this guy was probably there for you then in school when you were still in the same "league".smh, outgrow indeed. Tables turn my "friend", Trust me. 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Nobody: 8:02am On Dec 23, 2018 |
if I happen to be your friend and you tell me that i would plot your kidnap foolish friend, you are a bastard 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by DukeNija(m): 8:05am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Of what benefit is this relationship to him? Why should he continue being friends with someone just for the sake of it? Please let’s put sentiments aside and stop being emotional about things. Friendship comes with purpose and direction. If the relationship isn’t adding value to your life then cut it off. Same for every other form of relationship, romantic or love relationships. I’ve had friends as close as brothers but at some point we moved on to other things. In fact, having unprogressive friends can pull you back or down if you are not careful. I advise that you begin to withdraw rather than tell him as that will be very unwise and inconsiderate. Avoid hanging out with him or visiting him and vise versa. Reduce the phone conversations and all. 6 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by DukeNija(m): 8:07am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Yuletide25: Is it by force? Plot his kidnap is exactly why he shouldn’t have friends like you. Is friendship a must? Stop being a parasite and focus on your own life. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Viking007(m): 8:43am On Dec 23, 2018 |
edoman2016:[/s] I was expecting you to read and assimilate the wisdom in that post, not this jargons you are spilling. May God have mercy on you. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by ojotobiloba1: 8:45am On Dec 23, 2018 |
edoman2016:This is really harsh comment, Apparently, u re bent of ending ur friendship with him, why not call him now and tell him Wat u feel abt him, but note ds.. Storms of ds ur friend won't last forever.. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Michelle55: 8:53am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Just gradually drift away. Don't tell him to his face that you have outgrown him, it will not only break him emotionally but it will damage his self-confidence and ego. Just distant yourself with caution If possible, help him out by supporting his business financially. There's more to life than partying, drinking and hanging out, just help him out with a substantial amount of money to grow his business (if you have) so he can also be independent. Lastly, no condition is permanent! 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Auladimeji1: 9:05am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Smh!Honestly I'm speechless ![]() 1 Like
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Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by leonard002(m): 9:15am On Dec 23, 2018 |
dear op, let me be polite. call your friend and talk to him, see how you can support him in his business. help him grow. be nice, don't look down on him. if he's really your friend, you can help him succeed and status wouldn't be an issue anymore. if he isn't ready to succeed then you've tried your lot |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Nobody: 9:24am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Reading this post enh I can't but give myself a hi5 for having an amazing personality. I'm one that is GROWTH oriented and wants everyone around me to grow. You can't even be my close buddy and not grow, I go frustrate you! I understand how you wanna up your circle and not bring your self to his level blabla... But truth is you shouldn't trade your years of friendship for mere things of the world. Nothing dey this life abeg. This kind of friend dey they useful wella and trust me, he is the realest you can buddy with. You see those new rich gang you are eyeing and intending to pay premium to join their 30BG gang, when life throws you lemon, them go JAPA! Have a heart to heart discussion with your friend, find out why his stunted, give him ideas on trying new things... Instead of giving him food and beer money, help me with something productive to start off with. When he becomes a MAN, he would never forget you. If your hustle pays in the Nigeria of today, my dear, it is God's GRACE By the way, you don't have to unfriend him to join your rich circle... Na poor he poor, he no kill person ![]() 46 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Adesuwag(m): 9:40am On Dec 23, 2018 |
yettymuse:Reality check Weldone dear 3 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by Twoclans(f): 10:21am On Dec 23, 2018 |
@ OP I know you might have achieved all you have today by yourself BUT in this life there are people you need to hand hold to success and greatness . Support your friend to grow his business not beer parlour point and kill mixed with beer .How much can he even drink at a sitting ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: How Do I Tell A Friend I Have Outgrown Him by GRACEGLORY: 10:30am On Dec 23, 2018 |
When people are opinionated, they can’t really take advise. You’re not helping your friend, you’ve only been sowing into your own future by communicating help to him. At this juncture, you can choose to stop sowing these seeds into your future. If you still want the separation, send him a link to this thread. |
Happy 1st Birthday, My Precious Daughter Michelle Ife Morire Independence / About To Divorce Him, Please I Need Your Advise / fgd
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